A Canadian's Remission
My recovery from CFS was a very spontaneous one. I can't even really pinpoint the day that it began. It was during the late winter and early spring, and I just noticed that I felt less "fatigued" (in quotes because I don't think it's really an accurate description of how we feel), and more able to do things. I went from feeling sick and headachey anytime I'd do anything extra (like a trip into the doctor or something) to being normal again.
It was fantastic. I was able to do things I hadn't been able to do in years. Being the end of winter, we still had snowstorms coming, and I was able to shovel snow and everything. Normally for healthy people it would seem like a chore, but to me it was FUN! I've always enjoyed the winter, but this time it had the extra kick that I knew even months before that I just wouldn't have been able to do that without being seriously sick afterwards, if I even would've been able to do it at all. The sense of freedom and excitement was tremendous.
Freedom is a very good word for it, because it did feel very much like I had been set free... Free to do things to the point of exhaustion with the knowledge that sleep was once again refreshing and that in the morning I would be alive and well, able to take on whatever task I decided. It was hard not to push myself to do a lot, just from the trill of knowing the next day I'd be ready to go again. Years of being ill made me appreciate just how much freedom is actually there in being exhausted, but knowing that the next day it will be gone. It's also somewhat ironic that it occurred just before spring as the feeling is similar to when spring arrives after a long winter... There was just a sense of awakening and anticipation, as if I had been in hibernation for a long time, and was looking forward to the freshness of spring.
There was of course the sense apprehension about joining the "well world" again, after being ill for years, but it was far exceeded by the joy and release of being well. The feeling of being left behind by the rest of the world which continued on while I was ill was outweighed by the fact that at least now I could work on catching up. I could shovel snow, mow the lawn once spring arrived, play sports, do all kinds of things that healthy people can take for granted. It was really like being set free, and the excitement of feeling like I was normal and healthy far outweighed any kind of nervousness I had.
You may notice this is written in the past tense. I did sadly relapse after a bout of the flu and have been ill since then, but writing about it hasn't been a sad experience. For the time I was writing and remembering, I was free again. I relived that feeling of excitement, and look forward to the day I can have that again, hopefully permanently, and hopefully to be shared with all who have this DD.
From an Anonymous Canadian
Short but Sweet From Mike
I am back to 70-80% after 6.5 years. Today, I just set a new record for my best year ever as a stockbroker after 15 years. Not bragging, just a message of hope to others. Mostly spontaneous recovery, but I did reduce refined sugar by 90%.
From Mike, written December 1999
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