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DUMS FC Vs Hadjuk Shit

DUMS FC Vs Hadjuk Shit

Sunday 3rd November
Final score: 8-0 victory
Goals Scored: Uncle John-2, James-2, Sutton-1, Jamie-1, Craig-1, Bainsey-1

Laura Croft:
Sunday league from a girl’s perspective

Despite waking up on Sunday morning to one of those nightmare union vodka headaches, I managed to drag myself down to riverside to watch DUMS meet ‘hadjuk shit’. And what better a way to get over the hangover blues than to watch 22 fit young men running about in shorts!

DUMS got off to a good start. The partnership of Dave at left back & speedy ‘pistol’ Pete out on the wing were putting pressure on hadjuk shit’s defence from the word go. Carefully placed crosses from these two gave forwards Uncle John and Sutton a few chances that they might have capitalised on…but didn’t ( tut tut tut). However with Bainsey and James working tirelessly in the midfield keeping the play at hadjuk shit’s end, it wasn’t long before uncle john saw his chance, and in the 26th minute(impressive eh?)opened up the scoring.

Spurned on by their success, the DUMS front line concentrated their attack with a short sucession of shots by Sutton, Bainsey, Pete and James. Determined to retaliate, hadjuk shit’s defence finally managed to lift their game and play switched to give Calum ‘the mouth’ a little work.

Uncle John’s second goal sparked from an intercepted hadjuk corner, with Sutton making the challenge and knocking a great ball through. After some good defensive blocks by the hadjuk defense uncle john put the ball away.

After a half-time rehydrating session and some words of wisdom from the mouth and Ali G, the boys headed back onto the pitch to cause some more damage in the second half.

Hadjuk shit came back looking refreshed and stronger, and for a while play had evened out. However some superb passing from the back four and great link-up play from Bainsey and Stud set up the first goal of the second half - a shot by Sutton from just outside the box landing in right hand side of the net.

Some clever work from Bainsey gave stud a chance to use his pace on the right wing, the cross was good and James was able to capitalise for a well deserved goal. At this stage in the proceedings, a little managerial intervention from Ali G saw Jamie ‘pistol jnr’ coming on for uncle john. Great efforts from Bainsey set up what would have been goal no. 5, but sadly the ref called off side. A sneaky fifth goal from james showed that karma was on our side.

Time for the 4 remaining subs to have a go, with Gregor coming on for sutton up front, Ali G for Dave, John Mc Laughlin for James and Craig for Pistol.

Up to this point in the game pistol jnr was not performing at his usual best with a 2 yard effort going over the bar (although he was stretching) and a missed penalty to follow up. However young McCanny was up to the challenge and redeemeed himself with by slotting one past the hadjuk keeper to bring the tally up to six nil.

6 goals down and under a near constant attack from the DUMS boys, hadjuk shit started living up to their name, and everybody in blue, felt as if they had a chance of snatching a cheeky goal. The midfield was tiring and the solitary defender at the back was having trouble marking 3 blue shirts on his own. The seventh goal came when craig rounded the hadjuk keeper and calmly put the ball in the net.

Just when we thought it was all over, Bainsey - looking like a man on a mission, took the ball through the midfield and after dodging several defenders struck a shot that proved too much for the hadjuk shit goalie making the final score 8-0.

Well, being an expert on these matters, I’d like to award my man of the match to James, who held things together in the midfield, spreading the play to the wings, showing some great defending yet still managing to find the energy to put pressure on the opposition defence. Stud would have to come a close second as he also had a great game.

So that’s all folks… But girls, the boys need your support, so come down next week…..if for no other reason than a quick testosterone fix.