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DUMS FC Vs Red Star Belmont

Date: 09/12/01

Match report by Seth


Final score: DUMS FC win 10:0
Goals Scored: 2- Pistol Pete, 2- Keir, 1- Jonny, 1- Fraser, 1- Paul Clarko, 1- Andy K, 1- Calum 1- Dave Cronin.

Squad: Cronin, Curly, Minty, Pistol (capt.), Kier, Calum, Beard, Killer, Clark Kent, Paul, Bainsey, Fraser, Jonnie. Seth (manager)

Coming off the back of an away defeat to the Edinburgh medics, DUMS were hoping to boost their confidence and league goal difference against a team known to be of lesser ability (basically everyone knows they’re shit). But DUMS weren’t in for an ideal start. The ball was played lazily around the field and the players didn’t seem to be too bothered about winning the ball (possibly because they knew there was little chance of Red Star making into their box), and many, many, many chances on goal were wasted through either being off target or poorly struck. There was the occasional scare for the DUMS defence as Red Star’s striker (who the team claims is a Mexican international) made some runs into the box, but only to be thwarted by the ever solid Bainsey.

Eventually a breakthrough came towards the end of the half when Jonnie managed to find the back of Net with a short-range strike. But although shots kept flying in (or in and around) DUMS could not add to their score in the 1st half. They came off at half time with a disappointing 1-0 scoreline.

After a stern halftime talk, DUMS began the second half looking like a revitalised side. It wasn’t long before substitute, Kier, managed to slam home a thunderous, although severely deflected, volley into the back of the net. This goal seemed to open the floodgate and players were queuing up to score, even at the expense of losing shape on the pitch. Pistol, who had been playing solidly all match, slammed home 2 goals while Kier added to his 1st. Things were getting pretty silly at this stage as Fraser, spotting the keeper 30 yards of his line on more than one occasion, attempted a couple of shots from the halfway line, both of which missed by a country mile. Although he did manage to put 1 past him during the game. A surprise goal came from Dave Cronin as he beat the keeper deftly at the near post and Andy K punished the ridiculously poor defence with a 12 yard strike into the bottom corner. Calum falling asleep with bordem, persuaded Si Kent for a swap. His chance to get his first DUMS goal soon appeared and finished a neat move by slotting the ball away. Finally Paul moved up from defence to score a solid header to round up the scoring before the final whistle.

Final Result: DUMS 10 Red Star Belmont 0