Insane Ramblings
I may not be the greatest guitar player or singer in the world, but I know I have a love for something that nurtures my soul.
I inscribe my songs when I least expect it. I do not set myself down with pen and paper to write. I can't do that. I could be sitting quite contently at the rear of a bus and have a tune and a filament of lyrics enter my mind. Then and only then do I take note. It seems to me to be the most genuine time of a writer. When these are least expected, unplanned, and spontaneous. Seemingly unstructured and non-conventional. Words on paper are not as real or raw when the experience is premeditated. My song is how I interpret music.
I sketch profusely when I am angered.
I scribble despondently when I am frustrated.
I take a breath and sigh with content when I trace the ivory curves of my nephews face, immortalising his breath-taking smile in pencil.
I paint when I need to be reminded of the natural miracles. When I want to admire the contrasts of red on green, black on white, or an infusion of things so simple yet dynamic. We need that reminder.
I write to make sense of my thoughts. Noise gets too loud in our mundane existence and recognising left from right gets trying when your attention is consumed by the menial tasks we may well do day to day.
I write so I can see what it is I am thinking. If you do not understand this, read no more. It is not of any concern to me, so long as I know what is going on inside of me, I am at ease.
Take away my music, my art, my pen and my paper, then i will be, and I can say this confidently, maybe much to my own demise, lost.
I don't like to be marginalised, categorised, or anything akin to these. I am my own person. I govern myself. I do not need you to dictate my place in society. I have my own 2 feet.
Superficiality sickens me.
I have "been there and done that" with the types of men who cannot think beyond their dicks. I am not an object, nor do I profess to don the incapability whereas I need you to make my decisions for me.
I don't stand for shit. I believe in second chances. 3 are getting greedy. I will tell you where to go and what way from Nam if you piss me off.
I am not an unreasonable person, far from it. I have good friends who have taken the time to know me and whom I have taken into my own. I treat the people I care for with love. I am a confidante. I am a comrade. I am a sister, and I am -not- your mother.
I do not have time for people who need to be babied or mollycoddled. I do not find company in those who feel they need to be saved from something. I admire people who have found their place in Society or are on the journey, those who have guts and fortitude, who know what they want and how to get it providing it is fair and not to the detriment of others.
Maybe you don't like what you have read? That’s fine. Dont be like the other pain in my ass who felt it be obligatory to email me saying i need help. It is merely a terrible waste of your time, and mine.
Think I'm a bitch after having read this? Well boo hoo. Woe is you. You are probably insignificant anyway.
xx
