I hear the door open and close. It breaks through my restless sleep and I sit up just as a light snaps on. I remember I’m in Ali’s room. We had talked for hours about AJ, and then just fallen asleep I guess. Brian and Nick are standing in the doorway. They both look pale and exhausted. I check the clock as Ali sits up. It’s just gone 3am.
“Jade,” Brian doesn’t look too surprised to see me here.
“I musta fell asleep,” I mutter sleepily.
“Nick, you’re back,” Ali says, rubbing her eyes. “Where you been?”
“I…” he starts.
“What’ve you done to your arm?!” she exclaims, running over to hug him.
“I broke my hand,” he says a little sheepishly.
“How?!”
“Long story. I’ll tell you in the morning,” he yawns.
“You both look so tired,” I walk over to them. “C’mon Brian, let’s go to our room.”
“Yeah,” he says wearily. “See you later Nick.”
“Yeah, 7am, ugh,” Nick mutters as we leave the room.
“Jade…” Brian starts as we head to our room.
“It’ll wait until tomorrow,” I shush him. “I’m not gonna lie and say I’m not as curious as all hell but right now I’m more bothered that you get some sleep.”
“Thank you,” he chuckles slightly and opens the door.
“It’s cool,” I smile and head to the bathroom.
When I come out a few minutes later Brian has crashed on the bed, his clothes in a heap on the floor. I drop mine next to them and climb into bed, turning out the light. I stare up at the darkness. I’m not tired at all now, I just wanna know what’s going on. Brian and Nick had looked like hell when they got back – their eyes dark and red-rimmed. I sigh quietly and roll over onto my stomach.
“Can’t sleep huh?”
“Brian, I thought you were out.”
“Nup. I just got all this stuff goin’ round in my head,” he says.
“You wanna tell me?”
“Yeah,” he moves a little closer to me and covers my hand with his. “Y’know about AJ and his drinking right? Well, it all finally came to a head tonight. I went to see him and we argued and he basically told me that he wasn’t gonna be at the stadium with us tomorrow. So I got the other guys together and we all talked. I mean, he’s been letting us down so much lately...”
“I know,” I murmur.
“So Nick decided he should go talk to him cos AJ might listen to him more than Kevin. But he basically got told to fuck off and he got so mad he punched the wall and broke his hand.”
“Owch,” I wince.
“Yeah. So I took him to the hospital, and Kevin and Howie talked to AJ. AJ was kinda shaken up by what Nick did and he just broke. When we got back, we all had a meeting and AJ talked about his problem and we agreed to give him the time he needs to go through a rehab program. So we’re gonna go to the stadium tomorrow without him. He’s gonna catch a flight out to a place in Arizona. After the stadium, we got a flight to New York where we’re gonna announce the tour postponement on TRL.”
“For how long?”
“A month but he might need more. He just want to take it one step at a time.”
“Good plan. Are you gonna tell TRL everything?”
“Yeah. We all agreed we don’t wanna lie about this.”
“So, what happens after TRL?” I ask.
“We go home,” he says. “I’m thinkin’ maybe Lexington. I’d like to hang out with my family a while.”
“Yeah, that’d be good.”
“God, I’m tired,” he yawns and I stroke his back gently.
“Go to sleep honey.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
I smile and carry on stroking his back slowly until his breathing slows and deepens. He’s asleep. I carefully climb out of bed and pull on my loose pants and a T-shirt. I open the door as quietly as I can and tiptoe outside, shutting the door behind me. I sigh and lean against the door. I’m not quite sure what to do. I really want to go see AJ but he’s probably asleep. I head down to his door and listen carefully. I can hear movement so I knock quietly. He opens the door pretty quickly and I’m shocked by what I see. He’s pale and his eyes are red, like he only just managed to stop crying. Not at all like the AJ I know.
“Hey sweets,” I say quietly. “Can I come in?”
“Sure,” he steps back and then closes the door behind me. “Brian?”
“He’s asleep.”
“He told you?”
“Yeah. I am so proud of you,” I tell him.
“I haven’t done anything…”
“You have. You’ve got the courage and the strength to admit you have a problem. And you’re doing something about it. I don’t know that I could do that.”
“You could.”
“I love you,” I tell him and wrap my arms around him. He hesitates a little and then holds onto me tightly. His body starts to heave a little and I know he’s crying. I just hold onto him with everything I’ve got and will him all my strength and love for what he faces ahead.
“Fuck,” I murmur when Nick finishes telling me the story of last night’s happenings. It is now 7am and he’s getting dressed to go to the stadium with the other guys. “I wish you’d called me.”
“AJ wasn’t gonna listen to you.”
“I meant for YOU,” I say reaching for his good hand. “I know how much you hate hospitals.”
“Not as much as Brian does,” he says wryly. “Ya shoulda seen how pale he got.”
“Well you shoulda saved him the pain and called me!” I push him slightly.
“I thought you’d think I was dumb.”
“Why?”
“For bustin’ my hand.”
“You were,” I say. “Didja ever think you’d beat the wall Nicky?!”
“Ali…” he whines and I laugh.
“Relax. I think you’re my hero.”
“I am?” he looks confused.
“Yup,” I stand up and wrap my arms around him. “You finally got through to AJ.”
“I did?” he asks and I nod. “I did,” he smiles.
“Uh huh,” I say and kiss him.