I’ve barely set foot through the door of my apartment when the phone rings. I answer it quickly, dropping my case on the floor.
“Hello?”
“Jade,” it’s Brian and I cross my fingers that he’s calling to talk rather than argue.
“Hello.”
“Why aren’t you at our place?” he asks and I sigh.
“There is no OUR place.”
“There is. MY place.”
I feel myself start to flare up. It has been a long journey home and I am tired. “No Brian, that’s YOUR place. This is MY place. We never got round to finding a place to call OURS. I wonder why? Let me see… Because YOU were too busy touring and I was too busy being your puppy dog.”
Brian’s response is to slam the phone down and I groan. Just the smallest thing seemed to set us off and we are both too stubborn to back down. Maybe this space will help. Not many couples can survive living in each others’ pockets.
Brian walks off the stage slowly and Marcus grabs his arm to hurry him out into the waiting car. He climbs in and the car speeds away, back to the hotel. He has the car to himself and sits back in the seat with a heavy groan. It has been just over a week since Jade had left the tour and he feels like a part of him is missing. He hasn’t spoken to her properly since. They call each other most nights just to say hi and tell each other about their day but then they always seem to end up arguing about why they aren’t in the same place. Ever since she’d left, he had lost interest in things. His job is the thing that’s keeping them apart and it’s hurting so much. He rests his hand over his heart and counts the beats for a few seconds before breathing deeply and closing his eyes. Lately performing has been a lot harder on him physically and it’s scaring him. He remembers when he used to have to perform with an oxygen canister standing by just in case and doesn’t want to go back to those days. He is starting to feel the way he felt before he had had to have his second heart surgery and it scares him. He wants to tell somebody about the way he feels but it’s almost like telling them would make it real. A few times he has almost told Jade during their phone conversations but he knows it would just worry her. She would probably fly right out to rejoin him and he doesn’t want that. He wants her to come back because she misses him so much, not because she feels sorry for him.
I miss Brian, I really do, but I can’t go back to that tour. For one thing, I’m way too stubborn to swallow my pride and just go back without him at least begging me. Something I know he’ll never do. But also, I have really missed being in one place long enough to do laundry, and going running without security close behind. I like being in my own bed again, eating when I want to eat and what I want to eat.
“Hey Jade?” a voice snaps me out of my thoughts.
“Uh huh?” I look up at my friend Faye. I’m in the editorial office at Rolling Stone. I’ve handed in a few pieces and Faye is reading them through.
“These are good girl,” she smiles.
“Thanks Faye. Do I get paid then?” I ask with a grin.
“Always,” she laughs and we both stand up. “You seem in pretty good spirits, considering.”
“Considering what?” I ask warily.
“That article in the Enquirer.”
“What article?”
“Oh, you didn’t see it?” she asks and then makes a look like she wants to go find a gun and shoot herself. “Ah, it’s nothing Jade.”
“It’s obviously something,” I say. “You have a copy here?”
“No, we uh…”
“Faye, I can just go out and buy it,” I remind her and she sighs.
“Fine,” she reaches down and pulls a magazine out from under her desk. “Page 39,” she hands it over and I flick through to the right page.
“Oh,” I mutter as a big picture of Brian hugging a blonde stares back at me. There’s a smaller picture by it and she’s squeezing his butt. Another picture shows them laughing together. The headline reads Backstreet Boy Has Busty Blonde Affair, says it all really I think. I read the first paragraph.
Backstreet Boy Brian Littrell stunned onlookers in a small San Diego bar when he flirted with a busty blonde beauty. The Boy, often seen as the innocent one in the chart-topping group, indulged in a spot of dirty dancing with the blonde before leaving the club with her. Littrell had obviously forgotten his fiancée of two years as he bumped and grinded with the beauty. An onlooker said “They couldn’t keep their hands off each other and it was obvious he was real into her”.
I refuse to read any more trash and throw the magazine down on Faye’s desk.
“It won’t be how they say,” she tells me softly.
“They have PICTURES!” I tell her angrily and walk out of the door. I am seriously fuming now. I swear if life was a cartoon, smoke would be coming out of my ears. I dial Brian’s number on my cell and pace angrily in the street as it rings.
“Hey,” he answers, sounding a little tired but like I care about that right now.
“You seen the Enquirer this week?”
“Uh no. I don’t buy trash.”
“Well, you’re in this week’s trash,” I tell him angrily.
“I am?”
“Uh huh. You look to be getting pretty damn friendly with some blonde slut!”
“I do?!”
“In San Diego? Some bar?” I prompt him. “Aw c’mon, you must remember the night you CHEATED on me!” I finish off yelling, making a few passer-bys stare.
“I haven’t cheated on you! Not EVER!”
“Well, they got pictures of you guys hugging and she has her hand on your butt!”
“My BUTT?!” he exclaims. “Oh fuck, I remember now.”
“You remember huh?! I can’t believe you did that to me! Were you so mad at me you figured you’d get back at me by hurting me?! Well congratulations, you succeeded!” I yell and hang up. My phone rings almost immediately and I answer.
“Nothing happened. I swear. You can ask Marcus – he was there the whole time!”
“Marcus? Marcus, the guy who’s on your payroll?”
“You know Marcus doesn’t lie about stuff.”
“He might do for you,” I say.
“Jade, I swear to you – nothing happened. I went to the bar cos I was so mad at you for leaving. I had too much to drink and I got chatting to that girl. I only talked to her for like ten minutes before I left!”
“So how did her hand wind up on your butt?!”
“She asked for a hug just as I was leaving. She said she was a fan so I hugged her and she wouldn’t let go. I guess she knew there was a photographer there!”
“Pretty convenient,” I admit the possibility that he might have been set up.
“Exactly,” he says. “Jade, I love you. I would never do that to you.”
“I’m sorry,” I murmur. “I just saw those pictures and I went mad. I should’ve calmed down and thought it through instead of yelling you out.”
“It’s ok. You DO believe me?”
“Yeah, of course I do.”
“Good,” he sighs. “I miss you Jady.”
“I miss you too.”
“Why won’t you come back?”
“Let’s not argue,” I say and he sighs heavily.
“Fine. But I still don’t understand.”
“I better go,” I hang up quickly. I’m tired of arguing with him about the same old thing.