After talking to AJ, I make up my mind to leave the tour and do some work for Rolling Stone. Maybe a little distance between us will help him to forget about me. I brought the topic up a couple of times with Brian but we always end up either getting interrupted or arguing. I know that Brian wants me to stay with him on tour but I’m getting restless. I need to be doing something and I hate the feeling of being reliant on Brian. I hate having nothing to do except wait for him to finish working. I need to do my own thing. I don’t really think Brian understands that I feel this way. He takes my leaving as a personal insult. I’m leaving the tour next week and Brian is not happy with it. He rarely lets a chance go by to ask me to stay with him and I’m starting to really resent it. AJ on the other hand is visibly relieved that I’m leaving. He had agreed with me that it was the best thing when I’d told him. That hurts because our easy friendship is now practically non-existent.
“Do you HAVE to leave girl?!” I whine and she rolls her eyes.
“Not you too! I already have Brian whining at me every moment he gets!”
“We’ll miss you,” I defend. “And we only got like a MONTH left. You could wait! I mean, it’s not gonna kill ya.”
“It might do,” she says and then laughs. “I’m just bored Ali.”
“Fine,” I cross my arms with a sulk. “Leave me then. See if I care.”
“Okies,” she says lightly and giggles as I shoot her a glare.
“Things ARE ok though Jade?” I get serious and she looks at me carefully.
“Sure.”
“Nothing’s happened to make you leave? I mean, Brian hasn’t done something?”
“Brian’s the same guy as ever,” she smiles.
“So somebody ELSE has done something?” I guess and she sighs. “I knew it!” I exclaim. “When were you gonna tell me?!”
“Uh, never?”
“Jady…” I start wheedling. “I’m your best friend…”
“Fine,” she sighs. “It’s AJ. He thinks he’s in love with me.”
“Still?!”
“Ali, he was NEVER in love with me before. He just gets confused.”
“Trust me, he loved ya big time,” I say. “I think I know my cousin.”
“Well, whatever,” she shrugs. “He broke up with Sarah and things are so awkward lately. I mean, he knows I’m with Brian but… Ugh.”
“He actually tells ya stuff about him lovin’ you?”
“Uh huh. He’s not heavy or anything but I just don’t know what to say to him.”
“So you’re leaving?”
“Yeah. I figure, a little space might help him. He thinks so too.”
“I guess that makes sense,” I admit. “But I hope your relationship with Brian doesn’t suffer cos of it. I mean, he is so pissed you’re leaving him.”
“I know he is. But if that’s all it takes to end our relationship, then I guess we never really had anything worthwhile.”
“Ok, I’m gonna go get my picture taken and get it blown up life-size,” Brian tells me throwing his schedule down on the table. “Cos lookin’ at this thing, you’re gonna forget what I look like.”
“Aw, is it bad?” I walk over to him.
“See for yourself,” he hands the schedule to me and I check it over.
“Owch,” I say.
“Exactly.” He leans back and rests his head against my body. “Do you REALLY have to leave me next week?”
“Sorry honey, but I have a job to do.”
“But I’m gonna miss you so much.”
“I’ll miss you too. We’ve been lucky these few months, with the book an’ all. But it’s finished now and I need to go home and work,” I walk around and sit on his lap. He wraps his arms around my waist and kisses my shoulder.
“You could stay with me Jady… I mean, it’s not like you HAVE to work anymore.”
“Huh?” I look at him.
“Well, I got more than enough money for the both of us.”
“I can’t believe you just said that,” I stand up and walk away from him. “It’s not about money. It’s about me doin’ a job I love. It’s about self-respect.”
“What about bein’ with me?”
“It works both ways Brian,” I say.
“Oh c’mon!” he stands up. “You know I have to do this stuff!”
“Yeah, so why can’t you understand me havin’ to work too?”
“It’s different!”
“Oh right, so my job isn’t as important as yours?”
We glare at each other and then he walks to the door.
“I’m gonna go before this goes any further,” he walks out and slams the door.
I drop onto the bed with a frustrated yell. I close my eyes and breathe deeply to calm myself down. I am seriously angry with Brian now. There’s a knock on the door and I cross the room quickly to open it.
“Hey Jady, you ready to go to the filming?” asks Ali.
“Huh? Oh the unplugged thing? I’m gonna give it a miss I think.”
“Why? It’ll be great!”
“Cos I don’t think I could watch Brian strutting about,” I say.
“Whoa… What’d he do?” I fill her in quickly and she leans against the door. “Whoa. What a S.O.B!”
“Exactly!” I say angrily. “He’s totally stuck in the last century. I want to do my job. I enjoy it! It’s not just about money! I mean, I know I don’t exactly NEED it anymore cos of Brian but…”
“Whoa,” Ali says. “Hold up. Unless he’s giving you his credit cards, you need money still. At least until you get married.”
“Uh yeah. I know but he doesn’t get that!” I grab my bag and head to the door.
“Where you going?”
“To the unplugged thing. I’m not gonna sit here gettin’ all mad at him when I could get mad at him in person.”
“Is that wise?” Ali follows me.
“Oh relax! I’m not gonna yell at him on stage!”
Around twenty minutes later, we’re inside the studios where the unplugged session is to be filmed. They Boys are going to do an hour set in front of a hundred competition-winners. Right now they’re rehearsing the solo sections. As we walk in, Brian is just finishing his song. He jumps off the stage as AJ steps up to the microphone. I walk over to him and he barely acknowledges me.
“I think we need to talk,” I say before turning and walking into an empty room.
Brian follows me and shuts the door. “What do you wanna say?”
“I cannot BELIEVE how pissed I am at you right now!”
“What?! Because I want you to stay with me?! Well, excuse me for caring!”
“You KNOW why I’m pissed!” I yell. “I LOVE writing and interviewing people and you just totally dismissed my job!”
“I did not dismiss it. I just don’t understand why you would rather do that than be with me.”
“I wouldn’t rather! I’ve been with you on the road for the past few months! I totally gave up my life for you! And now I want to get a little of it back and you’re denying me that.”
“I’m supposed to be your life Jade! I’m your HUSBAND for God’s sake!”
“You really want me to become this sad wife who tags after you all the time?”
“No! I don’t want that…” He sits down on a chair and sighs heavily. “But I don’t want a wife I never get to SEE!”
“Well I’m sorry but I’m not gonna spend my life following you from concert to concert,” I march to the door.
“What’s that mean?!” Brian stands up as I wrench open the door. Ali is stood outside.
“It means I’m leaving tonight Brian,” I walk out, almost bumping into Ali who seems rooted to the spot.
“Fine!” Brian yells after me.