My alarm wakes me up at 8am and I grab a quick shower before starting to pack my bags. I’m not sure who I’m packing them for. I guess I just hope it’ll suddenly hit me halfway through folding up my clothes. Dumb I know but nothing else has worked. I pack slowly, running through my options in my mind. I can go meet JC at 10am, Brian at 11am or I can just catch the first flight back to Tampa or Atlanta on my own. I think about each option separately. There’s Brian, the guy I have all this history with. The one who makes me feel safe and protected. I love him, I know I do. I’m just not sure if it’s the kind of love that will make me happy. I like passion and arguing and making up. Brian is too easy-going for that.
~ Flashback ~
“Hey, honey,” Brian grins at me and holds out a bunch of flowers which he’s obviously just picked from a neighbour’s garden.
I take the flowers with a laugh and stand back to let him come in. “Thanks.” I shut the door and turn to face him. “You didn’t have to come over.”
“I wanted to,” he pulls me close for a kiss and wraps his arms around me. “My girlfriend tells me she loves me for the first time, I wanna be with her.”
I smile and kiss him deeply. “I love you.”
“I love you too Jady,” he runs his fingers through my hair and pulls me closer to him.
“Do you believe me Brian?” I ask, worried that he might think I was only saying those words out of fear of losing him.
He smiles into my eyes. “Baby, all you have to do is look at me the way you do and I believe the moon is made out of cheese and that elephants can fly.”
I giggle. “But they do. Didn’t you ever meet Dumbo?”
He grins. “Ah, I forgot about Dumbo.” He kisses me. “Can I stay?”
“Of course you can,”
~ End flashback ~
Then there’s JC. I barely know him but I so want to. When he kisses me, I feel like my heart is going to explode from beating too fast. He’s passion and danger, the unknown. I know it might not last but could I live with never finding out?
~ Flashback ~
“So, you have a real girlfriend somewhere?” I ask JC.
“No,” he shakes his head slowly and pulls me back into his body so that my head is on his chest again.
“Why?”
“I haven’t got the time right now I guess. Plus, the only girl who comes anywhere close is with somebody else,” he kisses my head softly. “But that’s ok cos tonight you were my girlfriend,” he whispers and kisses me again.
“I bet there’s lots of girls just dying for a chance with you,” I grin.
“Hardly. Most of them just want to be with JC NSync. Not me.”
“And who are you?”
“Joshua Chasez,” he replies and I smile, looking up at him.
“Well, I like you Joshua Chasez.”
“I like you too Jade….?”
“Oh, you’ll laugh.”
“I won’t. Promise,” he swears.
“Jade Greene.”
“Jade Greene,” he repeats slowly and I can see he’s struggling not to laugh.
“Told you.”
“It’s cute,” he smiles.
“It’s dumb,” I roll my eyes.
“Well I like it so I guess I’m dumb too,” he smiles.
~ End flashback ~
Or I could leave on my own. I don’t like that idea so much. I would lose everything – Brian, JC, Ali, AJ, Justin… It would just be me, on my own and I don’t think I’m brave enough for that. I finish packing and shut my case firmly. I pick it up and check the clock. It’s time and I’ve made my decision. I open the door and walk out.