Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the Gundam Wing boys (although I wish I did *sigh*) or anything related, they are all property of those big bad companies I forgot the name of, so PLEASE DON'T SUE! I DO NOT HAVE TO MONEY! If I did, I would be buying all anime stuff anyways!

Warnings: Yaoi hints (3x4), foul language, a bit citrusy, humor, and RELENA BASHING!(YESSSSSSS!),Self insertion (2ice), and Karoke. Oh my geeze.... the scaryness.... *Odie bows politely and walks off the stage*

Note: Odie is me. Short for Odayaka.

Road Trip

By Odayaka

Duo, Heero, and Wufie all sat around Quatre's Big screen TV discussing what they should do for summer vacation, which was right around the corner. Trowa and Quatre came out of the kitchen with snacks and set them in the middle of the circle. Quatre sat, leaning against Trowa and Trowa put his arm around the Arabian pilot.

"Ok, the floor is now open for ideas." Heero said monotonically.

"I say we all go and see 'Sailor Moon on Ice!'" Quatre exclaimed. Trowa gave him a strange look. "Or not....."

"I think not." Heero said.

"What do you think Wu-Man?" Duo chirped.

"INJUSTICE! My name is WUFEI, not Wu-man, or Wu-Chan or any of the other shit you guys call me!" Wufei said crossing his arms and leaning back in his bean bag chair.

"O.....k, guess that means you don't have any ideas." Duo sighed as he balled up a piece of paper and flung it at Trowa. "say something." he insisted.

"........"

"I agree, Trowa. But I don't think they would like to go to the flower store and make nice window boxes too much" Quatre said to his silent friend.

"He said all that?" Heero asked, a bit surprised.

"yup"

"I GOT IT!" Duo exclaimed "ROAD TRIP!!!!!!" he shouted standing up.

"Oh Lord Maxwell......" Wufei mumbled.

"Hey.....I like it!" Quatre chirped.

"............." Trowa said.

"I agree Trowa, it DOES sound like a good idea!"

"......Duo, I think you actually had a good idea for once." Heero said.

"Thanks" Duo said, flashing a toothy grin.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

About a week or so later, after they had rented a Winnebago and stocked up on snacks and gas, they prepared to leave.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeroooooooooooooooo, you can't leave me Heeeeeeeeeerooooooooooo!" Relena cried.

"Aw, Hell woman..." Wufei mumbled as he pulled out his gun and cocked it. Heero snatched it from his hands.

"Wufei, you know better than to shoot someone that loves you......"

".....Heero?" Wufei asked in disbelief at what his comrade was saying. An evil grin swept across Heero's face.

"You know that you're supposed to let me do that!" he said as he shot Relena, not even looking at her. "hmn, well now that that's over with....." he said dropping the gun at Wufei's feet. Wufei just stared at him with a blank expression.

They all boarded the bus, except for Wufei. Quatre stuck his head out the window and yelled at the Chinese pilot.

"Wufei, c'mon! You're gunna get left behind!" He yelled. Wufei stood there and crossed his arms.

"There is no way in hell I am getting on that-that thing! Where is the justice?!"

Duo leaned out of another window in the back. "oh SAAAAAALLY!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. Sally Po appeared out of nowhere and put her arms around Wufei's waist.

"oh good, you get to stay behind with me! We will have so much fun!" She said, winking. Wufei's eyes got a big as dinner plates.

"AAHHHH! THE INJUSTICE!" he screamed as he scampered tward the bus.

With that, they were off. Quatre and Trowa found a spot up by the driver and read books together. Duo was somewhere in the back, there was a curtain pulled, so no one knew WHAT he was doing, or if they wanted to know. Heero closed his eyes on a nearby chair and Wufei sat in a corner sucking his thumb.

"Wide, open spaces......wide, open spaces...." he mumbled. Seems that all those years insode the tiny cockpit of Nataku made him a bit claustrophobic. Suddenly, faint moans could be heard coming from the back. Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to look at the back. It was totally quiet on the bus, with the occasional faint moan every now and then. A few minutes pass and Duo emerges from behind the curtain shutting it quickly. His hair is down and ruffled a bit, most of his clothes are on backwards too. He flashes a cheesy grin at everyone and heads for the cabinet. He get's a bottle of champagne and two glasses and heads for the back.

"What the hell is going on back there Duo?" Heero asked.

"Oh, you could hear? Sorry we'll keep it down." he said as a huge sweatdrop appeared on the back of his head and slid down a little. Just then, a young woman, about 15 or so, poked her head out from behind the curtain. Her medium length, brown hair fell messily around her shoulders and her blue eyes shimmered.

"Are you coming Duo?" She asked sweetly.

"Oh yeah, Shinigami is back from hell!" he said as he dashed tward the back, flashing another cheese-eating grin at everyone before dissapearing behind the curtain. Everyone just stared at the back of the bus. Finally Wufei broke the silence.

"THE-"

"We know, the injustice....." Heero said, rolling his eyes. Wufei snorted and went back to sucking his thumb.

"Next stop, that woman is history." he mumbled.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

That evening, Duo layed on the floor of the bus, whimpering.

"Shut up Maxwell, I did us all a favor."

"Wufei, you didn't need to leave her all alone at that rest area," Quatre said sympathetically. "even if she IS a girl."

"Well, I WAS gunna leave you too, but Trowa wouldn't let me.." Wufei said coldly. Heero elbowed him in his side. "ow."

Quatre stuck his tongue out at Wufei as Trowa comforted his friend. All Duo could do was whimper. Heero kicked him in his side.

"Hey! Can't I mourn without being harassed?! SEXUAL HARASSMENT! he laughed as Heero sweatdroped. Quatre nearly choked on his drink hearing this, which served to make Duo laugh harder.

"I guess hes over her..." Quatre said, trying to regain a good breath. Duo stood up and headed to the pantry.

"Must have sugar." he said as his eye glazed over, seeing all the sugary goodies in the pantry. All the pilots excahnged worried glances. In a second, all of the boys were sitting on the struggling boy. "Oof" he said as he struggled to get free. "Please guys, just one sucker, or a bag uf gunny bears, please???"

"NO!" they all shouted in unison.

"Fine, just get off of me so I can get up." he said

"Why don't we play a game. That should get his mind off the sugar." Quatre suggested.

".....That's a good idea little one....." Trowa said. Everyone but Trowa and Quatre gasped.

"Trowa, you said something....." Duo said astonished.

"....yeah....where have you been?"

"Back to the game, what kind of game do you guys wanna play?"

"I wanna play poker." said Heero.

"Any other suggestions?" *crickets chirping* "Ok, then it's settled"

"Can it be strip poker?" asked Duo, laughing.

"Any oppositions?" Heero asked. Wufei raised his hand.

"Too bad Wu-chan." Duo said laughing.

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!!!!!"

"Wu-chan, Wu-chan....."

"THAT DOES IT!!!" Wufei yelled, jumping at the braided baka. Heero caught him in mid jump. Duo, in the confusion, had run to the pantry and got a jar of chocolate spread. He opened it and stuck his fngers in.

"mmmmmm, chocolate"

"Let me at him! I'll rip him apart!" Wufei said, Heero was trying his hardest to restrain the angry chinese boy.

"We shouldn't be fighting at all!" Quatre mumbled. Wufei, in his effort to attack Duo, stepped on Quatre's feet. His big green eyes watered up. Trowa brought the whimpering boy to his chest and stroked his blonde hair.

"....it's ok little one" he said, as he gave Wufei a death glare. Heero was losing his grip on the angry boy, so he let go of him. Wufei flew at Duo, who had been eating the chocolate spread like it was going out of style. When Wufei attacked him, it knocked the jar of chocolate spread out of his hands and sent it flying, landing on Trowa's head. As the chocolate dripped down Trowa's face, Duo was about to cry, not only because of Wufei was beating the snot outta him, but beacuse he had lost his beloved spread. Heero once again tryed to restrain Wufei.

"I think he's had enough" Heero said, struggling to keep Wufei from getting away again. Wufei's eyes glowed with rage.

"I'll tear him apart! Let me at him!" he screamed. Duo retreated to his corner of the bus, behind the cutain. When he emerged, he was carrying a large model of Deathsythe Hell Custom.

"The God of Death has returned from hell!" he shouted and dove at Wufei, knocking him to the floor and shoving Heero into Trowa and Quatre. By the time the bus driver stopped at a hotel so they could get sleep, the boys were a crying, screaming, cursing, yelling mass of chocolate, arms legs and other body parts.(Get your minds outta the gutter!!)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next morning, Heero and Wufei came out of their separate rooms, Quatre and Trowa emerged from the room next to Wufei's. He saw this and his nose began to spurt blood. Quatre and Trowa both blushed and sweatdropped.

"We thought it would be cheaper this way." Quatre explained. Heero and Wufei exchanged the same look.

"Quatre, you practically have an endless supply of money, why would you need to save?" Heero asked. The boys blushed harder and Wufei's nosebleed worsened. Duo walked sleepily out of his room, rubbing his eyes. He wore only his black silky boxers.

"Mornin'" he said as he rubbed his eyes. Heero and Wufei looked away in disgust.

"Duo! Get some friggin' clothes on, for the love of Crayons!" (Editor's Note: The Love of Crayons? This need much explaining!! Authoress!!!) Heero yelled. Duo looked at himself and turned about 20 shades of red. He dashed back in his room and came back out moments later wearing his usual, preist-looking attire. Wufei was shoving tissues up his nose to stop his nosebleed.

"Dab it aw to 'ell!" he shouted.

"LAST ONE TO THE BREAKFAST HALL IS a......um.....RELENA PEICE-OF-CRAP!" Duo shouted as he took off down the hall. Trowa and Quatre ran shortly after. Heero walked fast, and Wufei brought up the rear, continuing to shove tissues up his nose.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After a *ahem*cheap*cough,cough, choke, gag, wheeze* (Duo: dun die! Me: I won't! *pelts Duo with a can of chocolate spread* Duo: OW!) continental breakfast of muffins and juice, the boys were on the road again.

"I'm hungry....." Duo whined, hanging from one of the bunks "....and bored......but I'm more hungry....."

"Stop whining Maxwell, we'll stop in a couple of hours for lunch." Wufei said, nursing his nose.

"Hours?!" Duo squeaked as he fell off the bunk and landed on his head. "Owch."

"It's only 9 o'clock, Duo, we're stopping at 11 to eat lunch, I think you can manage."

"No I can't, you don't understand!" he said as he ran to the pantry. He threw open the door and proceeded to look for something to tame his appetite. As he rummaged through the clutter that was the pantry, he came across a small white mouse. "hmn..." he said examining the mouse. He picked the helpless rodent up by it's tail and swung it around, holding it out from him.

"OOOOOOOOH, cool! Rodent fan!" he shouted!

"Put the poor thing down" Quatre pleeded. "it's probobly scared enough!"

Duo didn't listen to Quatre as he hung the thing above his head and looked at it.

"Duo, you wouldn't...." Heero said. Duo just laughed and opened his mouth and proceeded to place the helpless animal in his mouth. First he just set the mouse on his tongue. Everyone on the bus gagged, including Heero. "That is sooo gross Duo!" Heero shouted. Duo then put the small mouse in his mouth and closed his mouth around his tail.

"EEEEWWW! that's icky Duo!" Quatre whined.

"......you are very screwed up....." Trowa commented.

"Maxwell, you are an ass......" Wufei said shaking his head. Duo only shrugged. Then he opened his mouth, and tried to spit the rodent out of his mouth, but it had a death grip on his tongue.

"Ith batin' meh!" he stammered.

"It's biting him! We need to get it off of him!" Quatre shreiked. "I'm not touching it." he said looking at the rest of the boys. They all shook their heads as Duo ran around the bus screaming and pulling on the mouse.

"Geh ith offa meh!!!!!" he shouted.

"Weak onna..." Wufei muttered. "You shouldn't have been doing that." he said with a sigh.

"We warned you Duo." Heero said as he stood up and walked to Duo. "Now this is gunna hurt." Heero warned him. Duo braced himself on two bunks on either side of the bus. Heero took a strong hold on the mouse and tugged it hard, pulling it off, not harming the mouse. Although, I am not able to say the same for Duo......

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWCCCCCCCCHHHHHH!!!!" he screamed. People in the cars passing by, swerved off the side of the road, hearing the God awful shreik coming from the black bus. "That hurt!" he said, holding his now bleeding tongue.

"I told you it would" Heero chuckled and handed to mouse to Quatre. "Baka, I told you not to, but you didn't listen to us. You got what you deserved." he said as he sat back down. Quatre stroked the shaking mouse to calm it down.

"Animals can sense kindness in people, Quatre...." Trowa said as he watched the Arabian play with the little creature. He patted Quatre on the head and kissed his cheek lightly. A small stream of blood came from Wufei's nose.

"Oh God...." he mumbled as he went back to Duo's part of the bus and drew the curtain. Trowa and Quatre proceeded to make out in the front of the bus, the mouse scurrying off to the back of the bus. Duo went back in the pantry, this time going to find the First Aid Kit.

"Use Salt water on that cut..." Heero mumbled.

"We don't have salt....." Duo whined.

"Then you're shit outta luck, aren't ya? It'll stop bleeding in a little bit." Heero said, picking up a big stick and poking Quatre and Trowa. "You two, cut it out!" Trowa reached up and took the stick, and hit Heero over the head with it. "Hey!" Quatre and Trowa, then proceeded to make out. Heero and Duo, both disgusted, joined Wufei in the back.

"What are we gunna do now?" Duo pondered.

"Well.....we could play poker now."

"What do we have to bet?"

"True....." Heero said as he sighed. "What do you suggest?" They all sat around thinking in silence. They sat there for about a half an hour and thought.

"We could do karoke when the two lover boys get done up there." Wufei suggested. "My karoke machine is up there." he sighed.

"We need something to do now...." Duo whined.

"Well Mr. Know-it-all, why don't you suggest something..." Wufei mocked. Duo smiled and reached into a drawer that was hidden behind his pillow. He pulled out a lava lamp, a disco ball, a kitchen sink, until he found what he was looking for.

"ah HA!" he said as he pulled out a small color TV with VCR attached. "All we gotta do is plug this baby in!" he said happily. He plugged it in and the TV came to life. "What movie you guys wanna watch?" he asked.

"What movies you got?"

"Anything comedy." he said proudly.

"Well........what about Major Payne. that's what Heero is" Wufei snickered. Heero shot him a death glare as he rummaged through the drawer.

"Damn, Duo, how much stuff is in here?" Heero asked, astonished. Duo sweatdropped and smiled.

"Oh, just the essentials..." he said rolling his eyes innocently as Heero pulled a 12 pack of shampoo from the drawer. Heero looked at him blankly. Duo shrugged. "Just in case you guys run out?" he laughed. Wufei and Heero sweatdropped.

"You are really something thing Maxwell...." Wufei said smiling and shaking his head.

"Thanks!" Duo said proudly. Heero emerged from the drawer with a movie.

" I don't know what this is, but let's watch it." he said, handing it to Duo. Duo examined the tape.

"I always mark my tapes, must be someone elses.......wanna see what it is?"

The boys shrugged. "Sure" they chorused. They were just glad they weren't up in the front. Duo popped the tape in the VCR and hit "play." The screen was black for a few minutes, then there was some talking.

"Take off the lense-cap!" said a woman.

"Oh, heh." came a man's voice. The lense cap came off and was pointed at a wood panel floor.

"What in the hell is this?" whispered Wufei.

"shhhh!" shunned Duo. The camera pointed up at a small child laying on a blanket in the nude, he had short, messy brown hair and prussian blue eyes. Duo's eyes widened and a huge smile swept across his face. "It's Heero's baby video!!!!!!" he shouted. Heero blushed and reached for the "stop" button. Duo and Wufei, both cracking up, smacked his hand away.

"NO WAY!" the shouted in unison. "We gotta see this!" Wufie shouted in the middle of a laugh. Heero blushed and stomped out of the back room. Quatre and Trowa both looked at him from the couch. Heero blushed harder and walked back into the back room.

"Miss us Heero?" Duo giggled. "Or shall I say 'Wittle Bitty Hee-chan'" he said pinching Heero's cheeks. Heero grabbed Duo's wrist and twisted it.

"Omae o Korosu....." he mumbled, letting go of Duo's wrist. He reached in the drawer and pulled out a portable CD player and headphones. He slipped the headphones on and faced the wall with his eyes closed, listening to the CD on full. No matter how loud he would turn it up though, he could hear Wufei and Duo laughing like hyenas at Chibi-Heero's nudity. Finally Heero got tired of it and took the tape out of the VCR and threw it out at Quatre and Trowa. "Times up!" he yelled at them. "Get your clothes on you two, we wanna have karoke, the stupid bakas in here are driving my nuts!"

"Not a far drive is it?" Duo mumbled to Wufei. Wufei started cracking up, Heero turned around and shot them both a death glare and they both shut up.

When the three emerged, Quatre and Trowa sat on the couch, sipping tea.

"Ready?" Duo asked.

"Yup." Trowa mumbled. "Who's going first?" Heero and Wufei sat on the couch as Duo went to the pantry. He came out with a big bottle of sake and 5 straws.

"We'll draw straws." he said, sipping his sake. Everyone reached for their own straw. they all showed their straws, Trowa had the shortest straw.

"I guess I'm going then....." he said, searching through Duo's endless supply of CDs for a good song. He picked one out and stuck it in Wufie's karoke machine. Backstreet Boys "Shape of My Heart" played, Quatre smiled. He turned with the microphone in his hand and winked with his one visable eye as Quatre. "Baby, please try to forgive me......Stay here, don't put out the glow......Hold me now don't bother, if every minute it makes me weaker, you can save me from the man that I've become...." he sang, Quatre stood up and sang with Trowa.

"Looking back on the things I've done, I was trying to be someone, play my part, I kept you in the dark, now let me show you the shape of my heart." they sang together. Trowa handed the mic. to Quatre, who looked at it for a minute before singing into it. "Sadness is beautiful, lonelyness is tragic 'cause, so help me, I can't make it warm......touch me now don't bother" he sang running his hands up and down his sides. "if every second it makes me weaker, you can save me from the man that I've become." Trowa leaned back in to sing with Quatre agian. "Looking back on the things I've done, I was trying to be someone, play my part, I kept you in the dark, now let me show you the shape of my heart!"

Just then Duo grabbed the mic. "I'm here, with my confessions. Got nothing to hide no more, I don't know where to start, but to show you the shape of my heartttttttt........" he sang, Trowa, knowing Duo had had too much of that sake, took the bottle and pushed Duo back down on the couch. By this time they were already off and Quatre was sitting on the floor crying because Nick was his favorite and wanted to sing his part. Trowa sat on the floor and held his litte Arabian friend.

"Now, ow, little one, it's ok, you can sing his part next time." he said stroking his hair. Quatre looked up at him with tear-filled eyes.

"You mean it Trowa?" he asked.

"Yes. Now let's sit back down, let the others get their turns over." he said, helping Quatre up and kissing him They moved over to the couch as the other boys fought over who would go next.

As they finished their turns, they all sat around on the floor, talking.

"What're we gunna do now?" Wufei asked, laying on his back with his legs up on the seat of the couch.

"I dunno........" Duo mumbled, stuffing his face full of pocky. "mmmmm, good."

"Duo, you're gunna end up so fat one day." Wufei muttered.

"I have a question....." Quatre stated, snuggling in Trowa's arms. "Where are we going anyway?" Silence. No one had thought of that.

"Well, let's go to Las Vegas!" Duo shouted. No one opposed the proposition so it was settled. They would head for Las Vegas.

~~~~~TBC