Rehumanized

by Sadistic Paperclip

Author's Note: I have no idea where this came from.

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: Yaoi, Angst, Rape, and Drugs.

Dedications: P-Chan, Ray-Chan, Rin-Chan, and Mab, thanks For your insanity!

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em.

Part One

Capture is something I have never considered. Maybe because I often portray myself to be invincible to the dangers of war, maybe I've even led myself to believe I actually am. That was a dumb move Maxwell, a really dumb move. I sit here now in what seems to be small OZ prison facility, praying nightly that someone will come to save me. Anyone…hell, I'd take Heero. That's a laugh. He won't come, he warned me of my recklessness, and I didn't listen.

Flashback…

"Duo get out of there!" Heero's voice rang over the intercom, a mixture of anger and panic.

"I got it man! I got it! Grab Trowa!" He hesitated, almost as if he had something more to say. Then he was gone. He had for once followed my suggestion.

Leos surrounded me and my chances of killing them all were slim to none. But I fought; by god did I fight and Quatre's voice was the last thing I heard before there was a blinding light and darkness.

"Duo? Come in! Duo!"

I woke up in small white room with cameras in every corner. I had no idea where I was, but I had a feeling I would soon find out. A young man came into the room and pressed a small button on the wall. That one small button turned on some rather huge blaring lights.

"What is your name?" He asked, his voice monotone.

"Like I'm going to tell you."

"I already know Maxwell. I simply asked to ensure that there was no permanent brain damage, but since you are capacitated enough to be a smart ass, I will assume you are alright." He walked over to me and examined me closely then smirked.

"You took quite a beating in that Gundam of yours."

"No shit."

"It will do you no good to flaunt your sarcasm here."

"Speaking of here. Where am I?" I could tell he was amused by my confusion, the sick bastard. He proceeded to explain to me that we were on an old colony called BetaQuadrant269-k. The Federation had proclaimed it a dead colony after there was a communication drought. It was dead, but then OZ supposedly took it over, and turned it into a base.

"And you have the pleasure of being our first out of town visitor."

"Gee. Don't I feel special? What are you going to do with me?"

The man placed his clipboard under his arm. "If you cooperate, we will release you in 72 hours. If you don't then we will eliminate you."

"Do I get any options?"

He smiled wryly. "No." He turned to leave and over his shoulder he gave me the one piece of information I would never forget.

"My name is Phaze."

The present…

I haven't seen him since, and believe me, I don't want too. All I've seen in the guise of human contact has been the boy who drops off my food. Man I wish I had something or someone to at least bitch at.

Perhaps I am a loud thinker for at that moment he walked in.

"Good evening Maxwell."

"It's evening?"

"You didn't know?"

"Windows aren't really in this decorum are they?"

He moved closer to me and pulled a small needle and vial from the folds of his coat.

"What are you doing?"

No answer. I pushed myself to the wall, my eyes darting in every which direction looking for an escape.

"Cooperation Maxwell."

Cooperation? He was about to jab me with a needle and he was asking for cooperation?

"Look…w-what ever you are trying to do…I'm not going with it."

His eyes became cold and distant, like strange pools of darkened jade. His ultimatum was the needle or the gun, which by now had been pulled as well.

"The needle is painless, the gun is not."

Our eyes met for a few moments, that few moments was all it took for him to grab my arm, and inject the mysterious drug into my blood stream. Ever try to fight an orgasm? You can't. I couldn't fight this, and it was not nearly as pleasant as an orgasm.

Part Two

I could feel fingers, fingers and moisture. How euphoric.

"Maxwell?" His voice echoed through my mind.

"Maxwell."

"I have a name you know." No wonder I felt so lovely, he was putting lotion on me…wait…I'm naked!

"What are you doing to me?" Besides rubbing my abdomen. Going a little lower would be nice.

"I bathed you. I figured I would send you back to whence you came in better shape then how you arrived."

His persona was stoic and cold, but his hands were so warm and comforting. This was not a good time for me to be getting aroused, but I was. Heero was right. I am such a fuck up. He continued his massage, going over all the spots of pain and filling my brain with waves of pleasure.

"You are enjoying this." Duh. He continued downwards, his fingers dipping into the crevices between my thighs and groin. His gaze was so intense. Through lowered eyelids I caught him looking at me lustfully. He wanted this just as much as I did. I should have been trying to escape. Instead I was allowing myself to be rubbed and fondled by this strange, and I mean it, guy.

I sat up and grabbed his wrist. We stared at each other, our breath coming out in uneven rasps and bringing his fingers upwards I planted each tip to my lips. He placed his fingers in the hair at the nape of my neck, and pulling me forward, he captured my lips in a soul-searing kiss. What was I doing? Why couldn't I stop him? Even when one of his hands drifted down to my arousal, all I could do was moan and thrust my hips into his ministrations. The growl that erupted from his throat was animalistic and only served to fan the flame in my belly.

His lips traveled down my neck, resting momentarily to bite the flesh and then give it a reassuring lick. He pushed me back onto the table and climbing almost gracefully onto the table, he kneeled between my legs and lavished my nipples with the affections of his tongue. Damn him. Damn myself.

His hands traveled all over my body. Every sensation flooded my senses at once. Guilt, anger, resentment, and pleasure all marred my vision as he took me into his mouth.

No damn it! I can't do this! I can't…I can…and I am.

"Please…" he was teasing me. Testing to see if I would beg for my climax. He looked at me and in his eyes I saw an emotion I couldn't place, but he granted me my wish, and soon my hands were in his hair, guiding him to fulfill my desires.

My hips lifted off the table, I needed more, and I needed it now. I felt him shift and sit up.

"May I?" Does he even have to ask? I nodded dumbly and watched in perverted fascination as he wet one finger with his tongue and slid it between my buttocks. I felt it's penetration, which for a moment was unpleasant, but soon the liquid feeling of ecstasy washed over me, and there was no room left for coherent thought.

His pants and undergarments disposed of he nestled himself between my thighs and kissed me soundly. Then spreading my legs further for access, I felt the tip of his member at my entrance.

"Relax."

Another request I gladly granted. He slowly entered and allowed me time to adjust, then wrapping my legs around his waist he began a series of steady, but mind altering thrusts. This was perfect, he was perfect, and I was in heaven.

I lost all control, and allowed my body to be ravished. Each moan that escaped my lips, each time I moved upwards to meet him, was my subconscious reaction. It was if I was hovering above the scene watching.

His pace quickened, and the scent of sweat-dampened skin filled the room. Please God forgive me. He leaned forward and buried his face in the crook of my neck and shoulder. The penetration went deeper, the rapture increased and I reached my release. He stiffened, the only sign of his completion, and exhaled what seemed to be an ever-held breath. He collapsed on me for a few minutes and then rose silently. He traced smooth circles on my stomach while telling me to go to sleep. My awareness did slip, but I was receptive enough to feel the familiar prick, and then fall into that all encompassing darkness.

Damn.

Part Three

:: :: Denotes Phaze

"Duo?"

"Huh?" Am I dead?

"Duo? Are you alright?" My eyes focus and Quatre comes into view.

"Wha? What happened?"

"We found you laying at the bottom of a hill about 2 miles from here." Trowa answered, appearing to my left.

"We received a distress signal and went out to find you." Quatre's eyes brimmed with tears.

"I'm fine Q-man. See? Nothin'" I plastered my joker façade on my face quickly and sat up.

"There were no injuries or bruises on your body. What happened?" The ever factual, and brutal voice of Heero Yuy made me cringe. I felt even more sullied as the seconds ticked by.

"They knocked me around a bit and let me go. I wouldn't answer their questions so…ya know. They don't want a pilot dead." His glanced turned from mild nonchalance to calculation in an instant. With a rather dignified snort, he left the room.

"Maybe you should just rest?" Quatre asked, placing his hand on my shoulder.

"Naw Q-man, I'm okay. I think I'll go for a walk." He nodded and allowed me to leave. It felt strange to walk down these halls, and at every corner I expected to see Phaze. I knew Heero did not buy that story. He knew OZ to well, and any soldier can tell you that they don't just 'let you go' if you refuse to answer questions. Generally a good ass whooping is received and then maybe…they let you go.

"You're a horrible liar Duo." Shit Heero, stop sneaking up on people like that.

"O-of course. I'm Shinigami. I run, I hide, but I never tell a lie."

"Then what possessed you to tell one just now?"

I froze.

"What?"

"You and I both know they didn't just let you go. You came here with no injuries, not even a scratch."

"I was lucky." I tried to leave. I didn't need him asking me to illuminate for him something I couldn't explain to myself. Grabbing my shoulders he forced me to look at him.

"Don't lie to me Duo."

:: He's angry. ::

"Phaze?"

"Who?" I snapped back to reality.

"Let me go Heero."

"Who the fuck is Phaze?"

"Let me go!"

The flash of pain that exploded across my face was instantaneous.

"You aren't going anywhere until you tell me who that is."

"It's none of your concern."

"You come back from an OZ base, say a name, and it is none of my concern?" Slap two.

"Heero. Do that again and-"

"What? What are you going to do Maxwell?" The cold steel of a gun was pressed against my temple. "How do I know you haven't betrayed us?"

Tears? Why was I crying?

:: Do you dream in color? ::

This wasn't happening. Heero was not slapping me, I was not crying, and Phaze was not speaking riddles into my head. All of this was one twisted dream.

"…Damn it Duo!" Another crack across my face, and I no longer cared. Not even when I was forced to the floor.

I always knew Heero was aggressive. Who would of thought it was to this extreme?

:: I thought it was.::

I never noticed the ceiling until that day. I stared at it for sanity's sake as Heero filled me with venom and his semen.

When he finished, he cursed me again and even debated out loud whether or not he should kill me. Maybe I'm not even worth that. He grabbed his gun, and sticking it back in his pants, gave me one last look of disdain before leaving the room.

Broken toys are always left behind ne?

:: Of course. ::

No one questioned me further after the first day. It was assumed that my withdrawal came from just wanting to be alone. But everyday I heard Phaze's voice in my mind.

:: Wake up Maxwell. ::

: What do you want? :

:: You. ::

: Why me? :

:: Why not? ::

: Phaze? Phaze! :

There was no good bye, no warning. Just the silence that I had grown accustomed to. I'm on the path to insanity. How I wish I were walking faster.

"Duo."

"Yeah Trowa?"

"Mission…Beta Quadrant, Let's go."

Part Four

"…So if we destroy it quickly we can get to the next safe house."

"Destroy what?" Quatre glanced in my direction. "There is a base in the beta quadrant. We received reports stating that there have been disappearances because of that base."

Beta quadrant? But that's where…

"Our mission is to destroy it." Heero walked past me and looked at the blue prints that were sprawled on the table.

I walked over to stacks of paper and scanned them. It was the exact same base. I'd never forget that room.

"The scientists are worried that an experiment which was supposed to be top secret will leak and cause chaos in the Federation." Quatre looked at the faces of his teammates. We didn't even have to ask 'what experiment?' for he began the rather lengthy explanation.

Flashback…

During the pre-war years when the tension was high in the colonies, a group of scientists had managed to acquire a small base in the Beta Quadrant.

While there they began doing experiments on soldiers and drifters, and among these experiments was the yet to be approved Dehumanization process.

None of the test subjects survived. The scientists soon realized that they would have to start with a fresh slate, something pure. So they began cloning themselves and subjected the embryos to the brain and psyche altering drugs and stimuli needed for the desired end result to come to fruition.

This worked. The embryos grew and flourished. They were void of all emotion and conscience. They were the perfect killing machines, as their unfortunate makers soon found out.

Loyalty is an emotion so many take for granted, without loyalty…you are as good as dead.

Present…

"The creations killed their creators. How strangely ironic." From that comment I gained rather strange glances from the group. I had never used the word 'Ironic' before.

Quatre continued, " The 'Bio-hybrids' as they are called, became a somewhat sadistic race of being. Because they felt no emotion, they began kidnapping people and connecting them to a Psycho-amplifier."

"And that is?" Speak English Quatre.

"It's an emotion microphone. Whatever you feel, they feel with you. And the more emotion in one setting the better."

Trowa handed me a small bottle, and on the label were the words 'Mechadenozin Tripholyte"

"It's the drug they use to start the process."

"So you mean to tell me they became feelings junkies?"

"In a way. They are also telepathic, but that ability hasn't fully evolved, the drug weakens your mind enough for them to get in."

As soon as the information sank in, I was ready to throw up.

"…I have to go."

"What about the mission?"

"I'll meet you in space!" I ran out of the safe house and down the hill to the place where they had found me.

:: Why are you so upset? ::

: Don't talk to me. :

:: Maxwell…::

: You used me. :

:: As I said I would, cooperation or death. ::

: Why? :

:: Why not? ::

A dulled thundering shook the ground, signalizing the take off of the Gundams. As if it were any other circumstance, I made my way to mine and climbed in.

: We will kill you. :

:: That, I highly doubt. ::

Once in space, I found the darkness to be comforting. I was in no condition to fulfill this mission.

:: You should catch up. ::

: Get out of my head. :

"Duo. Hurry up." I stared at the com-link. Even after Heero's voice no longer played across it. How could he be so casual after…after…

:: He raped you? ::

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"

:: But you're mine now. ::

"Duo are you alright?" Quatre asked worriedly.

I turned off the link. This was between the enemy and I. No one need be involved but us.

:: How long before you break? ::

He was right. How long before the true insanity kicks in?

: What do you want? :

:: Must you be so redundant Maxwell? ::

I shivered as the Beta quadrant came into view. I watched Sandrock descend onto the surface. My turn.

:: I can't wait. ::

: Go to hell. :

The air was heavy and thick. The few clouds that existed were darkened, an ominous foreshadowing of what was to come.

All five of us gathered on the south side of the base.

:: Do you want me? ::

: Stop it. :

:: Come find me. ::

: NO! :

:: I'm in the same room we were in when we- ::

I blocked him out.

It meant nothing to him.

' What do you expect. You don't mean anything to anyone.'

Wufei had just laid out a possible plan for the mission, and judging from his triumphant expression, it had been accepted.

"You come with me Maxwell." I felt Heero's grip on my arm.

Wufei was to penetrate the east entrance, Trowa was to play look out for any attempted escapes, and Quatre stood by with the extra detonator. Mr. Destruction himself had the original. He dragged me inside the compound, his grip tightening with each step.

"Heero…you're hurting me."

He continued walking, never looking back. The detonator shifted from thumb to forefinger restlessly.

" That's what happened to you."

"I…"

"You lied to us. OZ never captured you." He then laughed, a sound that is for many, the last thing they hear. I tugged my arm frantically.

"Do you know what we do to traitors?"

"Heero! No!"

All the tears I had kept inside began to fall at that moment. This is how my life would end. Killed by someone I used to trust. He found a room that he deemed suitable for the purpose of murder and pushed me inside.

"Move from this room, leave this compound, and I will shoot you where you stand."

All I could do was nod.

Heero turned and stood in the doorway.

"You have 5 minutes." And he was gone. I gazed out of the window. I could try to escape-

"But what would be the point?"

"Go away."

"I can't. Where would I go?"

Part Five

Narration POV

Duo sank to his knees his once quelled sobs returning.

"Let me die in peace."

~~*~~

Heero walked through the halls of the compound, killing every bio hybrid he saw. He knew the others would question him on Duo's whereabouts, but to him, that no longer mattered. He had done what was required of him.

His conscience ate at him, reminding him of all the things that Duo had done for him, all the times he had received the smallest amount of joy from just watching his teammate.

But the scientists had contacted him before the others, telling him that Duo Maxwell had been rehumanized, given back his conscience and his will to love and remember. The ability to kill would become a hardship on him. He was no longer a suitable Gundam pilot and had to be destroyed.

Two days before the debriefing of the other pilots, Heero had changed the document information, as ordered. The drug's capabilities had been severely altered, to make the subject and the other pilots believe that this was a mission of honor and integrity. He was also instructed to sever any ties he had to Maxwell…by any means necessary.

The detonator tightly held in one hand and his gun in the other, he exited the base.

"I really did love you."

~~*~~

Phaze walked to the window and peered out over the horizon.

"How can you be so calm? Don't you see we are about to die?"

"Why does death scare you?" Phaze turned his icy gaze to Duo. " Have you not lived your life to its fullest?"

Duo's breath hitched. Had he?

"I have regrets…things I wish I could have done." He fingered the cross he wore remorsefully.

Phaze knelt in front of Duo and gathered him in his arms. "Death comes on swift wings, it is life which takes the longest to form."

"Phaze…why are you doing this?"

"Because you are mine."

~~*~~

"Heero where's Duo?" an out of breath Quatre asked, "It's almost time."

Heero stared at the young boy, and turned to face the building.

"Heero! Where's Duo?"

"1 minute and counting."

"Heero!?" Trowa stepped forward, only to find himself looking down the barrel of a Colt .45.

"30 seconds and counting."

"You will pay for this." Wufei hissed.

"10 seconds and counting."

"Oh god…" Quatre looked on in disbelief.

… … … …

"Mission accomplished."

~~*~~

"…Mine."

"Yours."

FIN.

Author's footnote: Ooooh baby, left you hanging bad didn't I? Sequel? Maaaaaaybe!

Pfft. Who am I kidding, this is probably one of my worst stories.