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An ASS of U and Me

An ASS of U and Me


Everybody had been out of Hogwarts for quite a few years now, and the majority of them were happily married.

The Slytherins and Gryffindors managed to stop fighting and most of them even paired up. This is what the couples ended up being, and currently are to this day:
Ron and Hermione, Neville and Luna, Dean and Seamus, Crabbe and Goyle, Blaise and Viktor, Ginny and Pansy, and last but most assuredly not least, Draco and Harry.

Every year since they graduated they all spent New Years Eve together. This year the party was planned to be at Draco and Harry’s house. This is where our story begins.

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Ron and Hermione were making their way up the front path to Draco and Harry’s place when they heard someone calling to them.

“Hey bro! Wait up!” Then they could hear the pounding of many feet.

Ron rolled his eyes even as he turned around and smiled.

“You know it still creeps me out when you call me that Pansy.”

Pansy laughed as Ginny proceeded to glomp onto Ron, saying “Why do you think she still does it, brother dear?”

Then she laughed and jumped back before Ron could swat her.

“Oi mate! Are you…”

“Attacking our baby sister?” The twins asked as they came up the walk at a slightly calmer pace, with Blaise and Viktor shortly behind them.

“Baby demon, maybe.” Ron muttered loud enough for everybody to hear him.

“Ronnie dearest, my Gin is definitely not a baby demon, if anything she is a full-fledged demon.” Pansy said while ducking behind Blaise as Ginny tried to playfully strangle her.

They all laughed at this, then proceeded up the walk.

Hermione rang the doorbell and a few seconds later it seemed to open on its own.

“Err…Ahem…Yous are all please following Dobby, yes?...Thank you.” Dobby squeaked out cheerfully before turning and walking down the hall.

They all followed Dobby into a large sitting room with a nice fireplace and more than enough sofa’s and chairs.

Once they were all seated comfortably Dobby left for a couple second then came back with some tea saying Draco and Harry would be out in a few minutes.

They all sat in moderate silence sipping their tea calmly before there was a sudden crash from down the hall and Draco and Harry’s voices drifted into the room.

“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry Dray!”

“Sorry doesn’t make it hurt any less you ninny!”

“Would it help if I kissed it better?”

“…It might help a little…”

There was a pause then Harry’s voice came again.

“There, how’s that?”

“It’s…fine.” Draco said stubbornly.

The group in the sitting room all snickered at that.

There was another pause, in which Crabbe and Goyle, and Dean and Seamus showed up.

Once they were settled silence descended again and it wasn’t to long before they could hear Draco and Harry’s voices again.

“Try this Dray!!”

There’s a short pause then they here Draco’s voice. “Mmmm…Harry that is so good!”

The group in the sitting room all just looked at each another, and Gred and Forge started snickering.

Harry chuckles and says “Well, I’m very glad you liked it.”

“Hmmm, I did indeed. Oh, you should try this Harry, I really like it!”

“I know that Dray, I’m just not so sure I will…” They could hear the weariness is Harry’s voice.

“Please Harry? You promised…” They could hear sadness in Draco’s voice.

“Okay, okay. I guess I could try it. You didn’t have to start crying you twit.” Harry said both affectionately and annoyed.

There was a longer pause than before then they heard Harry suddenly coughing.

“I’m sorry Harry! I didn’t mean to!”

Harry coughed a couple more times before responding.

“No, no it’s alright. I’m sorry Draco, I just really don’t like the white stuff.”

Ron paled a bit, Hermione turned really red, Gred, Forge, Seamus, Blaise, Pansy, and Ginny all fell over laughing, and Dean and Viktor just looked at each other then started to chuckle.

Once they finally got a hold of them selves Gred and Forge called into the kitchen:

“You gents are aware…”

“That you have guests waiting…”

“Right?” They finished together.

Everybody else just laughed at this.

A couple second later Draco and Harry walked into the sitting room and sat on one of the unoccupied sofas.

“Sorry guys, we were really busy in the kitchen and forgot that Dobby said you were here.” Harry said apologetically, blushing a little at having forgotten they were here.

Everybody laughed and Ron turned red before asking nervously “Um. So what were you doing in the kitchen Harry?”

“Well, we’ve been working on getting cookies and brownies and stuff ready for tonight. I was just taking the brownies I made out of the oven and was putting them on the table when I accidentally elbowed Draco in the back. I offered to kiss it better. Then after that he tried one of my brownies, which he really liked by the way.” Harry stopped talking for a few seconds to catch his breath.

“Then Dray tried to convince me too try some of his…” He was suddenly interrupted by Dobby popping into the room.

“Does Harry Potter or his friends need anything?”

“No thank you Dobby.” Harry says.

“Yes sir Harry Potter sir.” Dobby popped out.

“Harry…” Hermione started in a disapproving tone.

“Hermione…” Harry says, his tone slightly mocking, “We’ve talked about his ‘Mione. Dobby likes working for Dray and I.”

“Alright. I know that Harry its just hard to remember someti…”

“Hermione, we love you darlin’…”

“But let the man finish!!” Ginny and Pansy interrupt Hermione.

Hermione grumbles a little and Harry just chuckles before continuing.

“Anyway, Draco wanted me to try his favorite PowerAde, which happens to be the white one.”

“Then when he was taking a sip I went to take the cookies out of the oven and I ran it Harry’s stomach with the tray. He ended up not liking the powerade, which is unfortunate ‘cause its really good, but anyway. Then after he stopped coughing we heard the terrible two calling us and remembered we had guests. And here we are.” Draco finished.

Everyone just sat there in an awkward silence before Harry asks “Why? What did you think we were doing?”

Everybody turns really red as Ron manages to stutter out “Well, with the…words...and the sounds….We jus t thought…”

Harry and Draco look at each other and burst out laughing.

“You all thought we were. Hahaha…And with you here!! HAHAHAHAHA!!” Draco says in between laughs.

“Well you would have too!!” Hermione says indignantly.

This just serves to make Harry and Draco laugh harder. Pretty soon everyone else starts laughing too.

After roughly five minutes everyone slowly regains their composure and the laughter trails off.

“Well, this just goes to show you should never assume.” Harry says once he’s caught his breath.

“And why is that Harry?” Pansy asks.

“Because to assume is to make an ass of u and me.” Draco calmly states.

Everyone thinks on this for a few seconds before the twins start snicker and everybody starts laughing again, not a hard though.

Once everyone stops laughing again they go and have supper, then proceed to have a really fun evening, ending it shortly after the midnight countdown.

After the countdown everyone leaves, planning to start discussing next years party the next day.



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