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You're scaring me.  I want to go home.
Screw this.  I want to have some fun.
Must have another drink.
Time to blow this joint.


The Wall

The story: Those two crazy guys, Red Beard Shanks and Mihawk were having a few drinks while playing cards at SaDIstiC TaNUki.  Shanks happened to lose the first hand and when Mihawk went to the bathroom, he pulled out a marker and wrote on the wall.

Mihawk: I wish I was a pimp.

Mihawk returned, saw the comment, but refrained from laying waste about him with his broadsword.  He waited until Shanks went up and ordered another beer and then wrote on the wall.

Shanks: Red Beard is so formal.  Call me Skanks.

Shanks returned and said, "Hey, I never said that."  Mihawk said, "Well, I never said THAT."  It might have gotten ugly but Skippy Mitchell, heroic bartender, made a command decision and called 'Drinks on the house,' which subsequently defused all hostilities and brought the Mihawk/Shanks relation back to its usual Cold War détente level.
So began the tradition of the Wall.  Patrons are encouraged to leave their mark and insult whichever pirate or Marine that they so choose.  It is not recommended to sign your work with your real name - sometimes the patron in question doesn't get the joke...

Wall Submission Rules:
1) Families do come to this establishment.  Try to keep the graffitti decently clean.
2) Repeats or similar jokes aren't funny the second time around.  Read the Wall before you write on it.  Management has the right to paint over your submission if it has been done before.


Got your marker ready?  Sign here.

Sanji: Ew.  Girls.  Cooties.

Luffy: No thank you.  I'm not really hungry right now.

Zoro: There can be only one!

Zoro: My name is Zoro Roronoa.  You killed my father.  Prepare to die.

Usopp: I cannot tell a lie.

Vivi: What?  Alabasta?  Don't we have time to stop at the outlet mall?

Smoker: Tashigi!  Get your butt over here!  And bring me my Nicorette patches!

Chopper: I'm getting angry. You don't want to see me angry…. (roars and transforms into his monster form)

Shanks and Crew (singing): Wasting away again in Margaritaville…..

Luffy:  It was the one-armed man!
Shanks (off camera): HEY!

Contributed by anon:

Nami: Here!  Take my money!  I'm taking an oath of poverty!

Nami: I'm giving all our loot to a charity organization I heard of ten seconds ago!

Coby: I'm quitting the Marines.

Morgan: I'm just like everybody else.

Kuro: Take your time.

Arlong: Humans and mermen! We should live in equality!

Jango & Fullbody: We don't like to dance.

Yosaku: I hate Johnny: Johnny: I hate Yosaku

Buggy: I like it when people say that I have a big, red nose.

Mouji, Gaimon: I hate animals.

Kabaji: Circus acts are so stupid!

Alvida (slim): I miss my old figure.

Mayor in Luffy's hometown: I hope Luffy finds One Piece.

Ace: I hate sleeping on the job.

Contributed by Chou:

Luffy: I want to be the Pirate QUEEN!

Lucky Roux: I'm not fat, just big boned.

Bellamy (singing): A slinky, a slinky! What fun!  It's a wonderful toy!  It's fun for a girl and a boy!

Saakisu (with Australian accent): You wanna see a knife?  Now this is a knife.

Nami (looking at Miss All-Sunday's clothes): Let me guess.  Stevie Nicks fan?

Mr. 3: I'd like a beer please.
Miss Goldenweek: Me too!  (tosses her senbei) And pass me some beer nuts.

(The volcano erupts.)
Brogy: Of all the rotten luck!
Dorry: Right in the middle of our soaps!

Luffy (earnestly): We're gonna find One Eyed Willie's treasure and save our town!

Nami (looking at Miss Doublefinger's outfit): Let me guess.  Scary Spice fan?

New Additions


Contributed by Rikki Walter
Luffy and Crew: We are the Pirates... Who don't do ANYTHING!

Luffy: Who cares about One Piece? I'm after the One Loofa.