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Bar Wench Vs. Master Thief
(Party's Bar. Nami has been driven temporarily insane by the innuendoes between Ben, Makino and Shanks.)
Nami (with tequila shot in one hand and bottle in the other): It's gone too far!
Shanks (still ignoring Luffy): What's gone too far?
Nami (throws back the tequila shot before continuing) Those horrible innuendoes! Stop talking around the subject and spit it out! I can't stand it anymore! Say what you mean, say what you mean!
Ben (turning to Shanks): My gun is not dirty. I use carbon cleaner on it and I have the cleaning kit to prove it. Powder is a normal part of shooting weapons, Mr. Clean.
Makino: It's not like powder burns are a permanent stain on your hands. It comes off with lava soap.
Ben: Skin-so-soft works too.
Shanks. But it never comes out of white silk and these shirts are expensive.
Ben (grinning lasciviously): Then don't practice in your shirt.
Nami (facefaults): You mean…that was all about firearms?
Makino: What'd you think it was about? (makes a face) Ew, you thought -
Shanks: Sicko.
Ben: Pervert.
Makino (sees what Nami is doing): You better be paying for that tequila, kid.
Nami: I'm a thief. I don't have to pay for anything.
Makino: Like hell you don't!
Nami (breaks out her bo): Come on, bar wench.
(Makino considers the challenge. Instead of engaging in a physical fight with the pirate, she relies upon ancient bar lore to save her liquor.)
Makino: Hey, free shot of whatever you want to the first person who can get Nami away from the hooch.
(Vivi hears this. She looks over Sanji's shoulder.)
Vivi: What was that, Nami? You wanted to talk to Sanji?
Sanji (glomps on the object of his affection): Nami-san!
Nami (muttering under the glomp): I'm going to kill her…
Sanji: I'll do whatever you want, Nami-san! Just name it!
Nami: Get off of me!
Sanji: Except that. Come with me to the kitchen! I'll make you and Vivi something to eat. (the cook drags Nami off. Before Vivi saunters into the kitchen after them, she turns to Makino.)
Vivi: I'd like a Vulcan Mindmeld, please.
Makino: Coming right up.
Luffy: Shanks, are you paying attention to me?
(Shanks, who hasn't been paying attention to Luffy for about an episode and a half, turns as red as his hair.)
Trailer: What will Shanks do? Will he convince Luffy that he was indeed paying attention? What goes into a Mindmeld? Will Nami escape the nefarious clutches of Sanji? Will this fic ever get a plot? Does anyone care?
next smut home
================ Terms Explained: Lava soap and Avon's Skin So Soft work wonders on powder, though everyone has their own preference and you will hear many different opinions on what is the best. But no matter what anyone says, do not soak your hands in carbon cleaner. And it is not recommended to practice shooting firearms without a shirt on, no matter how dead sexy you are without one on.
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