All Things Transparent

(The Honou Toys R' Us.  Saionji and Zoro, in their ill-planned attempt to revenge themselves on the author, are looking at the boy's toys as they determine their next move.)

Saionji (looking around): I wonder if the stock boy knows how to get to Ohtori.

Zoro: It can't be hard to miss.  We just go north the big hill.

Saionji (sighing as he tries to catch the stock boy's eye): Do you mean 'up' the big hill?

Zoro: Same difference.

Saionji (faces the display): Oh crap.  It's Wufei.

Zoro (looking around): Where?

Saionji (whispering): Stop it!  He'll see you.  Act nonchalant.

(They examine the reissued He-man action figures nonchalantly.)

Wufei: Hey guys.

Saionji (nonchalantly): Hello Wufei.

Wufei: You both look very…nonchalant.  Whatcha doing?

Zoro: Looking at… (picks up the nearest package and reads the label)…. Skeletor.  We're very busy.

Saionji: It's an exhausting job - looking at Skeletor.

Wufei: I meant - whatcha doing together?

(They look up to find that Wufei is leering suggestively at them.)

Zoro: Not more yaoi.

Saionji: As if you could expect any less when a Gundam boy shows up.

Wufei: WHAT'S that supposed TO MEAN?

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(Touga and Shanks are playing cards on the balcony of the Student Council Headquarters.  Shanks stares at his cards intently.)

Shanks: You're so transparent, Touga.

Touga (tosses his hair pointedly): I know. Isn't it lovely? I can look cool and still see.

Shanks: That's not what I meant.  You are trying to distract me because you know that you are losing. 

Touga (brightly): Why do you say that?

Shanks: The balloons, the train, the baseball game, the parade, the sudden appearance of a thousand chairs…

Touga (blankly): I don't understand.

Shanks: What do you mean you don't understand?  They did a press conference right in front of us!

Touga (confused): 'They?' Are you okay?  Should I get a doctor?

Shanks (exasperated): Never mind. Go Fish.

(The sounds of a huge explosion rips through the air.)

Shanks: What the hell was that?!  And don't tell me you didn't hear it!

Touga (picks up a new card unconcernedly): That?  It means we're having curry for lunch today.

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(Underneath the Castle of Illusions.  Luffy and Usopp are pondering the advice of Cousin ChuChu.)

Luffy: What could possibly be up there?

Usopp: Cool people don't live in upside down houses.

ChuChu (exasperated): Chu.

Luffy: Hey!  Don't swear at us!

Usopp: Even if it is in your stupid made up language!

ChuChu (bounds away): Chu.

Usopp: We don't care what's up there.

Luffy: Whatever it is, it's stupid!

ChuChu: Chu.

Luffy: Whoa!  Traveling by a beam of light!  Coolness! (races after ChuChu)

Usopp: Wait for me! (races after Luffy)

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(The music room.  Miki and Vivi are playing chopsticks.)

Vivi: It's so nice to have someone at my intelligence level to talk to.

Miki: What about that other girl?

Vivi: Nami? She's smart; but only when it concerns money.

Miki (sighing): Yes, everyone here is cunning.  Not what I would call smart though.

(Suddenly Kozue, Miki's evil twin, appears in the doorway.  She looks ominous.)

Kozue: What are you doing with my brother?

Miki (playing): We're playing the piano, Kozue.

Kozue (frowning): Is that what they call it these days?

Miki (exasperated): That's what they've always called it, Kozue.

Vivi (still playing): Hi!  I'm Vivi, Princess of Alabasta!  Nice to meet you.

Kozue: Go to hell.

Vivi (to Miki): She dyes her hair, doesn't she?

Miki: Of course.  There is no way that shade is natural. (looks up from the piano) Okay, sis, can we get on with this?  Insult Vivi, try to kill her, or come on to her.  You pick one and then we can move on with our lives.

Kozue (lower lip trembles): Why are you being so mean to me?

Miki (slams his hands on the piano keys, resulting in a pointed discordant cacophony): Because I'm a blue haired genius and I'm sick of your crap.  Now let us play the piano in peace!

(Kozue is completely taken aback by her twin brother's new forcefulness.  She runs away crying.)

Vivi: I'm so glad that I'm an only child.  I never had to put up with that whole 'sharing toys, competing for attention, my sibling is an evil little monster' schtick.

Miki: You don't know how lucky you are, Vivi.

Vivi: Nope.  After that scene, I most certainly do.

Miki (closing piano lid): So now that I've ruined my sister's self-esteem, what should we do?

Vivi (pondering):  Hmm. Let's make others' feel as inferior as they truly are!

Miki: Yes.  Let's.

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Random Quote Analysis:
Nothing good can ever come from staying with normal people. - Harry McDougall, Outlaw Star.

Zoro (derisively): And Harry is definitely an expert on 'normal.'
Sanji: Doesn't that guy have green hair?
Zoro: No one asked your opinion, Sanji!
Sanji: Oh yeah?  OH YEAH!? (inhales deeply from his 'cigarette') You're right.  No one did.  My bad.

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