LOST IN THE VORTEX!

(Makino has decided that she better get the pirates back - plus she needs the ice maker for the grand re-opening of her bar.  She is currently calling Washuu's Wonderful Invention Technical Help Hotline.)

Voice: Hello.

Makino (juggling the phone and the ice maker with the dimensional flux option instruction manual): Yes, I'd like to -

Robotic Uncaring Voice: Welcome to Washu's Wonderful Invention Technical Help Hotline.  If you'd like to extend your warranty, please press 1. If you'd like to know how to program a VCR press 2 -

Makino: Damn.  I hope the guys don't mind being flung into random alternate universes for awhile.

==========

(The pirates find themselves floating in a strange place.  Imagine a purple lava lamp; now imagine you've dropped acid and you think you're inside the purple lava lamp.  It's kind of like that. The laws of gravity do not appear to apply here.)

Shanks: What the hell was that?

Chopper: Where are we?

Sanji: What is this place?

Ben: It's obvious.

Nami and Vivi: Of course.

Luffy (trying to swim in a different direction): Don't float so close to me, Ben.

Ben: We're in the interdimensional vortex between all existing realities.  When we get close to the probability node of a universe that can accommodate us, the universe expands and takes us in -

==================

(The pirates are in sailor fuku.  Luffy is dressed as Sailor Moon, Nami is dressed as Sailor Mars, Vivi is dressed as Sailor Mercury, Usopp is Sailor Venus. Chopper is dressed as Sailor Chibi Moon and Ben is dressed as Sailor Jupiter.  Sanji and Zoro are dressed as Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune respectively.  Shanks is Tuxedo Mask.)

==================

Ben: - and then spits us out.  The length of our stay depends on how much the universe must stretch credibility to accommodate us.

Shanks (wistfully): I liked that universe.

Zoro: No wonder we were in that universe such a short time.  Everyone knows I'M the butch one.

Sanji (to Ben): But I remember doing all that OOC stuff!

Usopp: It was like I was a different person.

Ben: We have to follow the universe's rules - so our memories are initially wiped clean while we are there.  The more 'in character' we act, the quicker we'll be flung back into the vortex.  Try and fight it, everyone!

Nami: Makes perfect sense to me. 

Vivi: Good job Ben.

Chopper (closes his eyes and recites): I don't want to remember, I don't want to remember!

Luffy: Do me a favor, Chopper.  You float here; between Ben and I.

Chopper: No!

Usopp: The first universe was cool. Let's go back.

Zoro: I want out of here right now - so Mr. Genius, you better start thinking fast!

Ben: I'm assuming that Makino's tampered ice machine is the cause of our current dilemma.  She has our fate in her hands.

===================

Makino (sipping an iced drink and reading People): Have they picked up yet?

F.O.Z. Girl (who's been stuck with the job of staying on the phone): No.

(Makino raises an eyebrow.)

F.O.Z. Girl (obediently): No, Makino-sama. We're only at option 1146 - how to get a rebate for the toilet seat warmer with pocket universe option.

Makino: Press the button!  I bought one of those too!

==================

Random Quote Analysis

Let's drink.  Until our hearts stop. - Space Ghost

[Since Sanji and Zoro have been flung into a vortex, Kohza will be hosting the Random Quote Analysis with a very special guest.]
Kohza (eyes closed): Oh lord.
[Please give a round of applause to - ]
Kohza (praying): Not Bon Clay, not Bon Clay, not Bon Clay�Elt;br>[SHU SHU the Wonder Dog!]
Shu Shu: Wan!
Kohza: A dog?  Well that's not so bad.  Hi, there little fellow.
(Kohza reaches out to pet Shu Shu.  Shu Shu latches onto his hand.)
Kohza: My brain is going to feel this in three, two, one - GAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

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Terms Explained
Ah!  The colors!  The colors!
Makino's quest for help is devoted to all those hours I spent waiting for those *&#@ing 'technical advisers' to pick up - Sprint - Satan's Cell Service..
The next few billion episodes of the Smut Garden will lampoon whatever fangrrl thing I happen to latch onto.  For a few of our readers, they may be confused or unfamiliar with the lampooning.  I'll try and include short summaries or relevant links in Terms Explained to make it clearer.  Or not.  Depends on my mood.