Interlude Part 3: When the People Speak, the Eyebrow Must Obey

To Recap: Suddenly the camera swiveled on its tripod and did a bunch of cool effects to reveal someone standing in the doorway of Party's.  The pirates turned on their swivel stools to see this mysterious visitor.

Voice: Tadaima.

Makino (fake genki): Irrashaimase! (breaks out of OOC-OOC) Wait a sec.  What do you mean, 'tadaima'?  Are you a previous customer?  Do you have an unpaid tab?

Voice: I paid it off last time.

Makino (fake genki): Irrashaimase!  That means 'Please Come In And Spend Your Money' in case you don't speak Japanese.

(The mysterious visitor does and walks up to the counter.  Everyone is totally unimpressed and goes back to drinking.)

Shanks (glaring): What are you doing here?  Not that I care.  Let me make a big point about me not caring.

Ben (sheepishly): Dutch Pizza Guy and I had an argument.

Shanks: Oh really?  About what? Not that I care.  Let me make a big point about me not caring.

Ben: Well……..remember how you always call me your rock?

Shanks: I regret that I ever did, but yes.

Ben: Dutch Pizza Guy actually thought I was.  So I had to leave.

Shanks: Thought you were what?

Ben (turns red): The Rock.

(Natty Light sprays out of Shanks' nose and all over Ben.  One of the most feared pirates in the land falls on the floor laughing.)

Ben (dryly…but kind of wetly too): Home sweet home.

Usopp: You never told us you were the Rock, Ben!

Ben: I'm not the Rock.

Chopper: Do 'The People's Eyebrow'!

Usopp: Yeah, yeah! 

Chopper: The People's Eyebrow!  Puh-lease?  Come on!

Ben (bellowing): I'M NOT THE ROCK!

(Chopper and Usopp are stunned that their hero, the Rock, would yell at them.  Chopper begins to cry.  Vivi gathers the little reindeer on her lap and makes soothing noises while the rest of the pirates glare at Ben for making their mascot cry.)

Shanks (stands up and dusts himself off): You best do the eyebrow trick, Ben.  I think you owe all of us at least that.

Ben (indignantly): What do you mean 'owe you'?

Shanks: We could have used you in Ohtori, but you were off 'soul-searching' and 'trying your wings.'

Ben (laughs weakly): Oh.  You got the letter.

Shanks (glowers): Yes I did.  So why don't you give the kids "The People's Eyebrow" and then we'll have a heart to heart discussion where you apologize and I forgive you for all your flaws.

Ben: MY flaws?

Shanks: Don't worry.  My ability to forgive can encompass every flaw you have.  Lesser men would fall under the weight of the forgiveness necessary - but I'm strong like that.  No doubt that is one of the many reasons you returned to me.

Ben: What makes you think I returned because of you? (turns to Makino)  Amaretto Sour please.

Makino (hanging her head in shame): We only have Natty Light today.

Ben (in shock): What the hell happened while I was away?

(A very thick script drops onto the floor in front of Ben. He picks it up.)

Ben (flipping through the pages): It seems I missed alot. (to Sanji) What's this about you being a woman?

Sanji (who has left the kitchen and is serving hand made Krispy Kreme donuts): Don't even start.

Ben: And why are you wearing weights on your ankles?

(Sanji now has two chains and two ba… there is no way to describe it without giving people Ideas.  In any case, where there once was one, there now are two.  On his legs.  No where else.  Well, maybe somewhere else.  The Author is not qualified to comment on 'somewhere else.')

Sanji (smirking): What's this?  Is the Author, the orchestrator of the Smut Garden - a fine example  of evil fangrrlishness -  finding it difficult to discuss 'balls'?

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"Don't be frightened, my lord. 'It's only a boy from the kitchens.'" - Steerpike, Gormenghast

Sanji (looking up from his intense finger-dousing): Hey.  Is that supposed to be about me?  Er, guys?
(The Random Quote Analysis space is now decked out like a college boy's basement bedroom.
The trapped RQA guys now have a place to sit, a mini-fridge, a TV/VCR/DVD surround sound system and a few random posters on the wall - including the requisite '365 Holidays to Drink To' poster, the tattered blacklight Grateful Dead poster, and the half-naked woman frolicking on the beach poster.)
Sanji: Where'd they go?
[The clones struck a deal - their release in exchange for a new analyzer.]
Sanji: THEY ARE SO DEAD!
Voice: What's the matter, Sanji-kun?  Don't you want me here?
(Nami steps out of the shadows and glances at the quote.)
Nami: Hmm, it appears the Author has been renting questionable BBC productions again.  I believe this is statement on class systems and power.
Sanji: Nami-swan, sutekiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii na! (looks up and says solemnly) I love you, guys.
Nami (wrinkling her nose at the décor): I don't like it here.
(Sanji immediately begins tidying up, moving things around, etc.)
Nami: No, silly.  I don't like the RQA space.  I want to go home.
Sanji: I hate to disappoint you, Nami-san, but we can't leave unless we find replacements.
Nami (snapping her fingers like she just got an idea): Or we could get naked!


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Terms Explained
Natty Light; there's a famous quote about it.  If it smells like piss, looks like piss, and tastes like piss - it must be piss.