Amsterdam - Redux!

(Amsterdam.  The Luffy crew and company are there at the epiphinical advice of Vivi.  Sanji has been cured of his anorexia.)

Sanji (with mouth full):  I'm not anorexic!

(The other members of this farce are spread about Amsterdam, enjoying its many 'cultural' pleasures.  Shanks and Ben return with beers in hand.)

Shanks: Unlike you uncivilized stoners, we went sightseeing while in this fair city.  After all, Amsterdam's cultural and historical importance reach back to when the Dutch East Indies Company was the most powerful trading monopoly in the world, with a finger in every port.  Amsterdam was also host to numerous artistic movements, most notably the Impressionists.

Ben (a bit more genki than normal): And that was the best museum I've ever been to!  I want to go back as soon as possible!

Nami:  Where'd you go?  The Van Gogh Museum?

Ben:  We were going to go there, but the line was too long.  We went to the Torture Museum instead.

Shanks:  We took really good notes.

(Nami, ever so subtly, takes a step back.)

Ben:  Then we hit the Heineken brewery.

Shanks:  We had free samples!

(Nami takes one step forward.)

Nami:  Give me some then.

(She attacks Ben, who deftly fends her off.)

Ben:  Don't touch my Heinie!

Everyone:  Too late!

Vivi:  Is anyone hungry?  I ordered pizza.  I hope everyone likes mushrooms.

(Sanji, Luffy, and Vivi devolve into laughter.  Everyone gives them strange looks.)

Luffy:  Where's Makino?

Shanks:  She said something about hanging out across the river.

Vivi (choking on food): In the red light district?

(Dutch pizza delivery guy shows up.  He is a smashing Nordic beauty, along the lines of the infamous Hoffbraus House 'Pretzel God.')

Dutch pizza guy: Achtung!  Delivery!

Ben:  We're in Amsterdam.  Why is he speaking in German?

[Because, like most fan-gurls I'm too lazy to research the Dutch language but want to add a little 'foreign' flair in my fan-fic, so I abuse whatever scraps of language are at my disposal.]

Ben: Fair enough.

(Vivi hands the pizza guy the appropriate Dutch money, then passes out the pizza, mindful not to give any to Sanji or Luffy.  Nami invites the Dutch pizza guy, who is incredibly hot, to stay and join them.  He squeezes in between Ben and Shanks and immediately starts a Dutch conversation with Ben.)

Nami (in disgust and quoting Robbie Williams): All the handsome men are gay…

(Usopp and Zoro return from the bathroom.  Zoro is daubing at his eyes with a his black headcloth.)

Usopp:  So you see, it doesn't really matter about that at all.  It's about the skill.

Zoro: If you say so.

Usopp:  Here.  We'll eat some pizza.  You'd like that, right?

Zoro (sniffling):  'Kay.

(The Dutch guy keeps talking animatedly to Ben.)

Shanks:  What's he saying?

Ben: I have no idea.

Luffy (mumbling, while he chews):  'then after I rub the Vaseline over your quivering - '

Vivi:  You know Dutch?

Luffy:  Yeah, all people who eat the Devil fruit know Dutch.  It goes along with not being able to swim.

Ben:  Tell me what he's saying.

(Luffy inserts himself between Shanks and the Dutch guy.  Poor Shanks looks disheartened.)

Nami (stares at the half-eaten slice of pizza in her hand): These mushrooms taste a little off.

Vivi: (innocently) Oh really?

(Sanji and her cackle hysterically.  It is an ominous sign for the others.)

Usopp: Ominous? How can two stoners be ominous?

===============

Random Quote Analysis:
My fragile little mind! - Author's exclamation at finding out about the existence of Harry Potter slash fiction

Vivi:  Slash?  Harry Potter?
Zoro: What happened to the AA meeting?
Vivi:  Harry Potter?  Slash?
Author: It's to keep things interesting.  I find quotes and you analyze them.  Nifty, huh?
Zoro:  Out of all the people in the annals of history, you pick yourself and then, out of everything you've ever said, you pick this quote.  I can't believe it.  Sheesh, you're sheltered.
Vivi:  Harry Potter.  Slash.
Zoro:  This is a sad day indeed.
Vivi:  MY FRAGILE LITTLE MIND!

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Terms Explained
The Random Quote Analysis Section is inspired by the Utena spam-fic; Scenes from an Elevator. 
Everything Shanks said is true.  Also the Sex Museum, the Torture Museum, and the Heineken Brewery are places to visit in Amsterdam that no one tells you about except the dirty bus driver who brings you there.
The Dutch pizza guy is modeled off the German Pretzel God from the Hofbrau Haus in Munich - but the Pretzel God wasn't gay.  At least, not that night…nudge, nudge, wink, wink.