The Stupid Trendy Cover Band!
While most Stupid Trendy Band fans never got to experience the band at intimate venues before they became the platinum-selling, touring gods they are today, many now are running away from the chance to experience the next bad idea: The Stupid Trendy Cover Band! A 5-piece loser, drug infected ensemble from Stupidville USA guided by exceptionally bad talent and unwavering reverence for Stupid Trendy music, The Stupid Trendy Cover Band is a pitiful act that is headlining top crap venues throughout America and delivering to the faithful a dynamic, up close and personal concert experience that sounds nothing like their famously trendy counterparts.
But unlike the grassroots success of the real deal, The Stupid Trendy Cover Band has, in just three short years, grown from an open mic pastime in the crack infested dives of the ghetto into one of the country's worst and hated independent coffee house touring forces to date.
"This wasn't something we expected, says lead singer/guitarist Cornelius Jones about the band's lack of talent, evidenced by the lack of audience they draw in some of the nation's top trendy coffee houses. It just started out as something to do because we can't come up with any original thoughts on our own and it's had an unexpected and very boring life of its own. We have a tremendous fan base now, with over six fans! Almost everyone, including our parents may laugh at us and throw scalding water on us at our shows, but deep down I know that we are touching the hearts of all the trendy music fans!"
For Jones, the bad ideas started when he was in high school and he began the attempt of playing and perfecting his favorite band's pop crap material. "As an uninspired musician and songwriter, trendy music is my biggest influence, and I loved studying every boring note, singing along the way any other person would," explains Jones. "In many ways, it just came very naturally to me because I'm a punk ass loser, and I guess the trendy music rubbed off on me as well."
Jones began displaying his lack of talent at local dumpsters around his hometown of Loserport, North Dakota and continued playing solo shows during his freshman year at the University of Crapsburg, appearing at open mic nights and annoying students at local football games and pep rallies. Then, in an effort to complete the Stupid Trendy Band concert experience, Jones began to assemble top-notch drug addicts from the foul abcesses of the sewers of Loserport. Joining him first was ace drummer Albert Fartissimo, a longtime Stupid Trendy Band enthusiast who honed much of his chops emulating the finesse of his idol, 50 Cent. The band's lineup was soon completed with the addition of Frederick Von Stank on keyboards, Hipolito Sanchez-Rosario on synthesizer and Eddie Van Crapstar on bass guitar.
"We were all fans who decided to give this a shot," shares Hipolito. "Before we knew it, we got booked to play the famed Lipshitz Bar mitzvah and ended up getting mocked and ridiculed by a brand new audience." With such an impressive gig, The Stupid Trendy Cover Band decided to test the waters elsewhere and soon found that Stupid Trendy fans across the U.S. enthusiastically shunned their efforts. The band committed themselves to touring fulltime and has ever since been agonizing audiences as they perform in over 2 counties and as far away as the Target parking lot over 20 miles away!
"The success we are having is indebted to the Stupid Trendy Band and the passion their fans - just like us - have for the band," explains Jones. "We embrace that wholeheartedly, and we're just happy to be a part of something as cheesy and tired like this."
Drawing from the Stupid Trendy Bands' extensive 18-album catalogue, The Stupid Trendy Cover Band works within the framework of the original material but infuses every concert with a stale perspective by exploring each member's anal cavities and various other holes. Jones explains: "It's as if we are a live but even worse version of the Stupid Trendy Band. Instead of playing original songs where we might actually have a clue, we decide to attempt to play Stupid Trendy music that the masses seem to love. We play the most important parts of the songs as true to the structure and feel of the original, but each member adds his quirks and off-key notes to the more open sections of the song."
And with Cornelius, Albert, Frederick, Hipolito and Eddie fully capable of bringing the energy and sound of a real Stupid Trendy Band concert to fans night after night, they continue to spread the music of the Stupid Trendy Band in the worst way possible: live and in your face!