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Sample Chapter
"Who invented this place, Dr. Suess?"
Marco demanded.
We were miles in the air. Miles from the ground, which we could see just over
the edge of the platform. The platform with no railing, no warning. The platform
that just stopped suddenly.
Below us was a twisting, leaning, propped-up-on-gigantic-support-beams
structure of other platforms. Floors, I guess, all stuck here and there,
sticking far out and not so far.
Above us was more of the same, till you'd swear the monstrous construction
would reach the moon, assuming the Iskoort had a moon.
All of this was built of brilliantly colored blocks or bricks or segments.
Imagine that someone starts with all the Leg-os in the world. Add in all the
Duplos and cheap bargain Duplos and let some humongous kid assemble them all
into a tower a hundred miles tall.
Assume that no sensible adult ever becomes involved, except to come along
occasionally and wedge in what looks like crutches the size of skyscrapers.
The floors could have been five feet apart, five hundred feet apart, or five
miles apart. It was like no one figured it out till they built it.
I jumped back from the edge, feeling my stomach lurch and my heart stop. I
had to push the Iskoort away to get safe, but I wasn't worried about politeness.
I was trying not to take a fall that would last a couple of hours.
"Back up!" I yelled.
But now a whole gaggle of Iskoort were rushing us, honking with the diaphragm
in their bellies and yammering thought-speak, pushing us, shoving us by sheer
mad exuberance toward the edge.
"Rachel!" Cassie cried.
I spun left just in time to see Rachel windmilling, her heels back over the
edge of the platform.
"No!" I yelled, as she lost the fight and toppled backward.
I caught a blur of movement. When the blur stopped it was Erek, his hand
holding Rachel by the arm as if she weighed no more than a candy bar.
Erek pulled her back up onto the platform.
"Did I mention I've always wanted you along on this mission, Erek?"
Rachel said shakily. "Get back, you stupid jerks!"
This last was directed at the press of a dozen Iskoort, all yammering
incessantly.
<I will buy your memories!>
<Come visit my execution parlor!>
<Give me your clothing and I will give you credit!>
<Here! Eat this larva! Let it gestate and we'll split the proceeds between
your heirs!>
<You stink horribly! I will cleanse you!>
And to Ax: <Become my partner and we will sell your fur as a gachak
poison!>
"What is this, Planet of the Salesmen?" Marco demanded. "Back
off! All of you, back off!"
"Man, I thought there were a lot of salespeople at Nordtrom's, but this
is nuts. I'll take care of this. I know how to get rid of pushy
salespeople." Rachel stepped out front, hands on her hips. "We're just
here to use the bathroom. Can you tell me where the ladies' room is?"
The Iskoort stared, goggle-eyed. Several of them wandered away. The others
continued staring at us, waiting to see if we'd loosen up and do some business.
I looked at Cassie and we both sighed at the same time.
"Now what?" she wondered. "What do we do? Stand around till
someone tries to kill us?"
I looked around, trying to get a grip on this bizarre place. There was no
making sense of the structure itself. Our floor was a roomy one. At least a
hundred feet separated our floor from the floor above. Back from the edge the
small buildings began. They looked like clusters of igloos: blue and gold and
white and green and red. Some were jumbled into piles several layers tall.
Others were free-standing.
The Iskoort themselves came and went, in and out of the colored igloos, up
and down the twisted, arched stairways connecting floors. They all looked busy.
All in a hurry.
They were not the most frightening-looking race we'd ever encountered, but
they were definitely not even slightly human.
They had heads like vultures, thrust forward on long necks. The necks
protruded from shoulders that were a sort of oval platform, flat across. From
the shoulders dropped two arms, one on each side, each arm jointed three times,
ending in a hand made up of one very long, tentacle-like finger, and two
smaller, hooked, sharp-clawed fingers.
They walked in a way that made it seem they were crawling on their knees.
Backwards. Not that they went backwards. They went forwards. They had two thick
legs, maybe two and a half feet long. Then came what looked like knees, followed
by calves that extended forward, lying flat against the ground. Those ended in
feet, each with a single long prehensile toe and two smaller claws jutting from
the sides of thick pads.
Their mid-section was bare of clothing and looked weirdly like an
accordion--an accordion made of veined, pink flesh. It moved, wheezing out a
sort of running commentary on their thought-speak.
It was the sound of a whine. A grating, annoying whine that rose or fell,
depending, evidently, on how excited or mad or agitated they were.
"'The Nanny,"' Cassie observed.
"The what?"
"That sound. It sounds like Fran Drescher, the woman who plays the lead
in 'The Nanny.' No offense to her."
<I don't think Fran's probably around here to overhear you being rude,>
Tobias pointed out.
Iskoort faces were, like I said, not attractive. They were roughly triangular
with the point toward the top, which left no room for a pair of eyes to fit. So
their eyes, pink as a rabbit's, were stuck on short stalks. They had mouths, but
didn't use them to communicate. They sat shut, opening only every few minutes to
suck in air and reveal a fat, blue tongue and tiny, blue-tinged teeth.
Rachel said, "You know how you meet some people and right away, before
they even say anything, before you have any idea what they're like, you don't
like them? I mean, on sight you can't stand them? And it's not that they're ugly
or anything, it's just something about them that sets you off?"
"No," Cassie said. "At least, I didn't know. Now I do."
A new assault team of Iskoort was quick-crawling toward us, heads thrust
forward, eyes goggling.
<Forgive us, strangers!> the leader of this crowd said. <We did not
expect off-worlders today. Welcome to the City of Beauty! Do you require a
guide? Do you wish to sell your memories, or perhaps any unneccessary body
parts?>
His diaphragm whined as he thought-spoke, a low, grating sound that rose and
fell like a bagpipe blown by a man with too little wind.
I sighed. I was on the verge of suggesting Rachel morph to grizzly bear and
get rid of them, but Cassie said, "You know, if they're serious about a
guide..."
"Yeah, you're right," I said, but I wasn't enthusiastic. "Um,
well, we could use a guide. You know, to show us around. Show us where to
stay."
<And what will you pay?> the Iskoort demanded, to the sound of eager
whining.
'Well . . . we don't exactly have any money," I said.
<I will give you an excellent guide. My own grub! In exchange for her
hair.>
He pointed one of his wormy tentacle fingers at Rachel. Or, more precisely,
at her hair.
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