Parenting Humor
Sunday, 22-Aug-1999
My son was 2 years old when I had my first pacemaker put in, well the nurses had him come up to the hospital so they could explain why his Mommy had to spend so much time in the hospital. This really neat nurse put him on my bed and explained on the level of a 2 year old that they were going to put a battery in my chest to make my heart stronger, so that I could come home and play with him like before. He handles it pretty well.....he went home and told the kids in the neighborhood that the doctor was going to put batteries in his mommies chest so she wouldn't get tired anymore.....out of the mouthes of babes. A few months after coming home I was having a really hard day, very tired. Jon wanted to play and I couldn't, so he disappeared into his room and came out a short time later with one of his favorite toys that had batteries in it. He said Mommy let me change your batteries so we can go out and play, I don't need this toy...I need you!!!! So I proceeded to pretend to place the batteries in the pacer pocket......who could refuse something like that??? Children never cease to amaze me......if we could only all have the mind of a child....things would seem so simple.
Elaine
September9,1999
When my daughter was about 8 years old,she had just gotten home from school,I was on the phone in my room with the door shut,as my daughter loved to listen and repeat,lol.As I'm talking all the sudden I hear her yelling"FIRE",I dropped the phone and ran,well she was so hysterical she couldn't say where,finally she said"kitchen',I go to the kitchen,and find a paper towel smoking in the sink,she looked at me and said"I didn't know what to do so I poured water over it",I noticed my lighter by the sink,it was warm.I asked her"What happened?"she said(shrugging her shoulders"I don't know",as I conitnued to question her she said"Melanie was in the kitchen climbing on the counters,next thing she knew,the paper towel was on fire",I responded"So,what your saying is Melanie,lit the lighter and suddenly the paper towel was burning?"She shrugs her shoulders,looks straight in my eyes and says"I don't know,I was in the other room,I just came into the kitchen and saw this,and Melanie was in here".There are certain things mothers know,I knew she was so scared she would never play with a lighter or matches again,but I wanted to be on the safe side,as this could have been a disaster.I called the fire department,and got someone to come over and talk with her.She was so embarassed she looked like she wanted to crawl into her chair.Well it never happened again,she is now a teen.BTW,Melanie is one of our cats.RuthB
Wednesday, 25-Aug-1999
When my daughter was losing her teeth, we bought her a book about the tooth mouse - it would collect all these teeth that children no longer needed, and take tham away to continue building the city that the mice lived in.
Romane
Friday, 27-Aug-1999
Ok here is kind of a funny story. I went to get my son's hair cut at a new place that we had never been before. Well he gets this pretty young girl and he is used to a man. So he is quiet for awhile and then he starts to chat her up. He is telling her that he has a Sega and a Nintendo and a Playstation and he has all these games...yada yada yada..... He is bragging away trying to impress her. Then when he gets off of the chair with his new haircut he thinks he looks really good and starts running his fingers through it and prancing around. I am killing myself laughing (inside of course) and another customer looks at him and says "He knows he looks good." Well if he isn't putting on a show for everyone in the store now! Well I let him pay and give the lady a tip and as soon as we get outside he is yelling and crying because he has to get in the car to go home! I think he wanted to go impress someone else with his new haircut. He was showing everyone for a week! I wish my haircuts made me feel that good!
Nicol
Sunday, 22-Aug-1999
The two children were in the bath,age 4 or so. "Did you know" said one "that if daddys sperm hadnt met mummys egg you wouldnt be a human being?", "Really" said the other, "what would I have been, a fairy?"
Dont read on if you have a squeamish stomach.
One day, I was surprised that the twins were having such a long sleep. They would have been about 12 months. Anyway I soon heard tham happily playing with each other, so being a sensible mum I left them to it.My husband arrived home a little later with a friend who has vowed never to have children. We went to get the children only to discover that they had spent the last hour or so painting the bedroom wall with poo. Needless to say our friend is now more than ever determined not to have children.
anna
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