Immediately after sending that one important e-mail, I got off the
computer and picked up the phone. Hitting my speed dial button number three,
I heard the phone ring on the other end.
"Hello?" She sounded preoccupied.
"Ryan?" I asked hesitantly. Right now I needed to talk to somebody
about what I'd just done, and I couldn't think of anyone better than Ryan.
She had always been there for me through thick and thin, and she was a master
at giving advice.
"Oh, hey Becks!" she said. "Sup?"
"Not too much," I said slowly. I could hear people yelling in the
background. "What's going on over there?"
She answered, "Oh, my brother's just having some of his little
friends over. So how's it going?"
"All right. But I wanted to ask you something."
"Hit me," she said, cracking her gum.
"You'd better be careful," I joked. "I just might take you up on that
later. But seriously, I just did something and I'm not sure if it was right
of me to do or not."
"What did you do this time?" I could hear Ryan typing something in
the background.
I leaned back in my chair and propped my feet up on my desk. "Well,"
I began, "somebody in the chat room private messaged me and said that they
had AJ's real e-mail address. So I pretended I knew somebody who worked with
an internet company that could find out if it was real or not. So the girl
gave me his email addy. Then I sent the so-called 'AJ' an email. See, I
don't think I should have lied to that girl, and I also don't think I should
have sent that e-mail. What if it's some random stranger? They'll think I'm
a freak. And-oh, God-what if it's really AJ?" I finished uneasily.
"Well, first off," she said confidently, "It's not AJ. The odds of
that are about a billion to one."
"I know," I said miserably.
"Secondly, you probably shouldn't have told that girl that. But,
it's too late now, and unless you got her e-mail address, there's nothing you
can do about it, like apologizing, et cetera. So don't worry yourself about
it."
"I'm trying not to," I said, "but it's hard. I just feel so
guilty...even if it was some total stranger. And what about the guy who gets
the e-mail?"
"Who cares?" Ryan said nonchalantly. "If they e-mail you back and
ask you what the hell your problem is, or something like that, you can just
delete it and never talk to them again. It's that easy."
"You're right," said, sighing like a weight had been lifted from my
chest. "Thanks."
"Any time for my buddy." I could hear her smiling.
"I miss you so much, Ryan," I suddenly wailed. Ryan and I had gone
to school together since pre-kindergarten, until she left Berkeley in ninth
grade. She now went to a public school.
"I miss you too, girl," she said sympathetically. "I keep
remembering all the stuff we did together in middle school. We had so much
fun!"
"I know!" I related. "Remember that time, in eighth grade, when we
buried that orange peel right next to the sidewalk, made it a tombstone, and
gave it a funeral?" I laughed out loud.
"Of course I remember that!" Her voice squealed with excitement.
"And remember when Mr. Yarnell threw a desk at Ian? I thought he was going to
explode!"
I started giggling. Yes, I, Becky Hammer, giggle. Who would have
guessed? "And all those times with Mr. Piccone," I groaned.
Ryan went into hysterics at this point. "We all know you were in
love with him!"
"I was not! He was twenty-nine years old and he was my English
teacher."
"Then why did you fall asleep on his shoulder in San Francisco?"
"I did NOT fall asleep on his shoulder!" I protested. "I am not
gonna argue with you, girl!" I was annoyed, but there was still enough humor
in my voice to assure her that I wasn't angry.
"Oh my gosh!" she interjected. "Turn on your radio. Right. NOW."
I turned on my radio and flipped it to 93.3. Blasting from my
speakers was the new Backstreet Boys song. I screamed and started singing
along, regardless of the fact that I knew none of the words. I waited until
the song was over to talk again.
"That is the best song in the world," I said, out of breath.
"I know!" Ryan exclaimed. "Hey, on the subject of the BSB, remember
that girl Rachel that I thought was Nick's girlfriend? She's an impostor. I
busted her so badly! She didn't even know Nick has a sister," she spat with
disgust.
"See, I knew all that useless Nick info you have stored in your brain
would come in someday," I laughed. "And another thing I had on my list to
talk to you about was to warn you not to believe Rachel. People are never
who they pretend to be on the internet." Little did I know how ironic that
statement truly was...but I would find out soon enough.
"I've been thinking a lot about Nick," Ryan sighed.
"What else is new?"
"Seriously, Becky," she said in a solemn tone. "I know it's crazy to
say this, but...I feel like I know him. I mean, I know all about him. I
know his favorite color, hobbies, everything. And I know it's wrong to love
someone you don't know, but I am absolutely positive that I ever met Nick, I
would fall head over heels for him."
I was impressed by the raw honesty of her speech. I could tell she
really meant what she was saying. Ryan was falling in love with this man. I
felt a tug in the corner of my heart, though. What she was doing was so
dangerous-she would never meet him, and she was only setting herself up for
heartbreak. Wait a second, I thought to myself. Becky, you're talking about
yourself. I realized that I was slowly falling for AJ, a goddamn Backstreet
Boy. I wanted to stop myself, but things like these simply cannot be
prevented. I silently cursed myself for putting myself in the same position
as Ryan. Stupid, I told myself. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I brought our conversation to an end and hung up the phone. As I
placed the phone in its cradle, my hand lingered there and I stared at it.
What was I getting myself into?
Go..
