In the morning, Vincent is in his shower singing "Magic Carpet Ride".

Vincent: (singing) You don't know what we can find, why don't you come with me little girl, on a magic carpet ride. You dont know what we can see--(At that moment, Cid breaks down the door.)

Vincent: Aaaah! (grabs a towel and covers himself) Knock on my door! KNOCK!
Cid: Uh, sorry Vincent, but Tifa wanted me to ask you if she could borrow your convertible to go shopping with Aeris.
Vincent: Yes! But get out of my shower, NOW!
Cid: Aaah! (runs away).

Fifteen minutes later, in the kitchen...

Vincent: (fully dressed) Geez Cid, the least you could do was knock!
Cid: Sorry, but Tifa was scaring me.
Vincent: Did Cloud forget it was her birthday today?
Cid: Yup, he barely got out of here in one piece.
Vincent: Good thing I gave Tifa her present before I took my shower.
Cid: What did you get her?
Vincent: This ticket I won for a week long trip at Hawaii.
Cid: Wow, thats pretty nice of ya.
Vincent: I suppose, but then again, I couldnt have gone anyway because I don't tan, I burn. Thats the main reason Im so white, I stay out of the sun.
Cid: I noticed...
Vincent: ...
Cid: Uh, anyways, want to know what I got her?
Vincent: Sure, why not?
Cid: I got her some gift certificates from her favorite stores.
Vincent: Thats kind, but how did you know which were her favorite stores? (Vincent shudders as he remembers a previous shopping trip he was once forced to take with Tifa).
Cid: I asked Aeris. I guess thats one good thing about that zombie.
Vincent: *Sigh* Will you never accept her?
Cid: Only if she proposes to me.
Vincent: Ill take that as a no.
Cid: Yeah...Hey!
Yuffie: (walking in) Hey Vincent, can I ask you a question?
Cid: (snickering) This ought to be good.
Vincent: Quiet you! What do you wish to ask me Yuffie?
Yuffie: Are you a vampire?
Cid and Vincent: What?!
Yuffie: Well, you can transform into other creatures, your eyes are red and they sometimes glow, and youre a night person.
Vincent: I'm not a vampire Yuffie.
Yuffie: Then how come you can do all that stuff?
Vincent: Because the Shinra experimented on me.
Yuffie: Then how do you know they didnt turn you into a vampire?
Vincent: (leaning forward) Because there are no such things as vampires.
Yuffie: Aaah! Hes gonna suck my blood! Help! (runs into the living room).
Vincent: Not good...
Cloud and Cait Sith walk in from living room.
Cloud: Vincent, Im very disappointed in you. Scaring Yuffie like that, what's wrong with you?
Cait Sith: If you have problems, my therapist is veryunderstanding. Want her number?
Vincent: I didnt intend to scare her at all, and I do not have any problems!
Cloud: Then why did you try to suck her blood?
Cid: He didnt, you stupid #%^$% !
Cait Sith: Aaah! My virgin ears are burning! Aaah! (runs into kitchen).
Cloud: Great, just great, now I got 2 nutcases in my house.
Cid: Your house? Last time I heard this was Tifa's place.
Cloud: Shut up!
Vincent: Fine Cloud, we will leave your house. Come on Cid.
Cid: Why do I have to go?
Vincent: Because I said so.
Cid: (sweatdrop) OK. But how can we go anywhere? Don't forget that Tifa has your car.
Vincent: That may be, but Elena has a Hummer.

Later, at Elena's house.

Vincent: So Elena, could we borrow your Hummer?
Cid: Please?
Elena: Sure, but can I go with you?
Vincent: Sure.

Later, as they create their own highway with the Hummer (heh, heh).

Cid: Hey Elena, for how much would you sell this beauty?
Elena: I can't, it was a Sweet Sixteen present.
Cid: That must have been some party.
Elena: Yeah, it was...(gets a dreamy look in her eye, but then notices Cid and Vincent staring at her) uh, nevermind. Where are we going, anyway?
Cid: Wherever we want! Woo! We're party animals!
Vincent: What have I told you about watching 90210 ?!
Cid: Oops.

A police car starts to follow the Hummer.

Elena: Damn, it's the cops.
Vincent: Allow me. (when the car stops, he steps out and heads to the cops car).Did we do something wrong officer?
Cop: I need to give you a ticket.
Vincent: Are you sure you want to do that? (his eyes start to glow)
Cop: Uh, well...you were speeding.
Vincent: (calmly, even though he now has a crazy look in his eye) How could we be speeding? We aren't even on a road.
Cop: Well, uh...sorry to bother you then.
Vincent: No bother at all. (turns and walks back to the Hummer as they continue their mini-adventure).
Elena: How did you do that?
Vincent: (innocently) Do what?
Elena: Mess with his mind.
Vincent: Oh, that. I just got my eyes to do that glowing thing.
Elena: Cool!
Cid: Would anyone mind if I sang something?
Vincent: Depends.
Cid: I'll take my chances. (starts singing Born to be Wild) I like smoke and lightning, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind, and the feeling that I'm under...
Elena and Vincent: (continuing) Yeah darling gonna make it happen! Take the world in a loving embrace.
All: Fire all of your guns at once and explode into space!
Vincent: Like a true nature's child, we were born, born to be wild...
Cid: We can fly so high, I never want to die!
All: Born to be wild! Born to be wild...

Meanwhile, at the mall with Aeris and Tifa.

Aeris: Sorry I didnt get you a birthday present, Tifa.

Tifa: Don't worry about it. After all, how could you have gotten me a gift, you were dead until yesterday.
Aeris: Good point. Did Cloud get you anything?
Tifa: No, however Vincent gave me a nice present.
Aeris: What did he get you?
Tifa: A ticket for a full-expense trip to Hawaii that he won in a contest.
Aeris: That's pretty nice of him.
Tifa: I suppose, but I think he got them only because he called me a slut.

Theres no place like home...or bar in this case.
Yuffie: So what youre saying is that there are no such things as vampires and even if there were, Vincent would not be one?
Cloud: Thats what Im saying.
Yuffie: You sure?
Cloud: Of course!
Yuffie: If you say---Hey! Thats my line!

Meanwhile, in the Hummer...

Vincent: Thanks for driving us home, Elena.
Cid: (mouth full of french fries) Ahd thunks fur da fuud.
Elena: Huh?
Vincent: I think he just thanked you for the food.
Elena: Youre welcome, just remember, that bottle of ketchup is glass, not plastic.
Cid: OK.
Vincent: Bye Elena.
Elena: Bye guys, dont forget to call me if you want to do this again. (drives away).
Cid: (walking up the steps of 7th Heaven) Pass the ketchup, Vincent.
Vincent: Catch. (throws it up to Cid, who fails to catch it. It falls to the ground and breaks as ketchup flies all over the place, including Cid's neck and Vincent's face and hands).
Cid: D'oh!
Vincent: Lets go clean up before anyone sees us.

As they walk inside, luck would have it that Yuffie sees them. She stares then starts screaming as if there's no tomorrow.

Yuffie: I was right, he is a vampire! *GASP* And he got the old man! Run for your life! Aaah! (runs into her room).
Cait Sith: (who walks in) Whats all the yelling about--Oh my gawd! Aaah! (runs into his room).
Cid and Vincent: Damn!
Vincent: Jinx!
Cid: %^$# you and your &^%# jinx crap!
Vincent: Ha, ha!
Cloud: (who enters) What happened?
Vincent: Cid broke a bottle of ketchup.
Cid: Did not!
Vincent: Did too!
Cid: Did not!
Vincent: Did too!
Cid: Did not!
Vincent: Did too!
Cloud: Shut up!
Vincent: (glaring at Cloud) Did you just tell me to shut up?!
Cloud: Uh, well...uh....
Vincent: Nevermind, I dont want any real blood on my clothes. So how are we going to convince Yuffie that I'm not a vampire?
Cloud: I suggest you guys get cleaned up first.
Vincent: Good idea, Ill go shower.
Cid: What about me?!
Vincent: She doesnt think youre a vampire, so you can wait.
Cid: Grrr...

Later, after Vincent had an uninterrupted shower, he walked out of the bathroom inhis crimson red robe and was drying his sexy long black hair [OK kiddies, if anyone asks, I never said "sexy long black hair", OK? Thanks] with a black towel.

Vincent: I think Ill go see what Yuffies up to...(walks to her room and knocks).
Yuffie: Whos there?
Vincent: Me.
Yuffie: No vampires allowed!
Vincent: Yuffie, Im not a vampire. What you saw was ketchup from a bottle that Cid broke.
Cid: (from the bathroom, across the hall) Did not!
Vincent: *Sigh* Hes got good hearing for an old guy...anyways, I am not a vampire, Yuffie.
Yuffie: Prove it!
Vincent: Test me.
Yuffie: Huh?!
Vincent: Since you know so much about vampires, do a few tests to find out if I'm really one.
Yuffie: OK, but I need to get some stuff, meet me outside, before breakfast.

The next morning...

Yuffie: OK, you passed the first test, sunlight. Now for number 2, eat this pizza.
Vincent: Uh, OK. (eats the pizza) *Ack* Its cold!
Yuffie: Yeah, its from last night, anyway, you passed, the garlic didnt kill you. Test number three, wash your hands with this. (gives him a bowl of water).
Vincent: OK (does it).
Yuffie: Your hands didnt melt.
Vincent: Huh?
Yuffie: It was Holy Water. Now for the final test, look into this mirror. (hands him her compact).
Vincent: OK (looks into it and fixes his hair a bit).
Yuffie: Neat, you passed all the tests, which proves you are not a vampire.
Vincent: Glad to see youre convinced. Can we get some breakfast now?

At the kitchen counter...

Cloud: So Yuffie, youre convinced that Vincent isnt a vampire?
Yuffie: Im convinced, no matter what Cait Sith says.
Everyone: ...(except Vincent, who is glaring at Cait).
Cait Sith: (nervous chuckle) Uh, anyone for coffee?
Cloud: That wasn't very nice, Cait Sith.
Vincent: (menacingly) Yeah, that wasn't...very...nice...
Cait Sith: Uh, bye! (hops outside).
Vincent: (Furious) Come back here you little...*ROAR*! (runs after Cait Sith where the cat is heard screaming for mercy).