A thousand dawns

A Thousand Dawns

by Kal

kal1@ignmail.com

Happy Birthday to me.

As I open the lid of the coffin, and the putrid air fills my lungs, I realize that another year has passed by. As you grow older, time seems to go faster. It feels like only yesterday I returned from my greatest adventure.

No, I don´t talk about the adventure that ended at the Northern Crater. Some historians and scholars call that period of my life "The Sephiroth War"; or "The Meteor War". To me, it was simply a war. In my long life I´ve seen three wars. More than anyone should witness ever. In the first, I was just a kid trying to gain a name. In the second, all that I wanted was to fully pay for my sins. The third one, the most devastating, involved the greatest menaces that me and my friends faced ever: The General and his army, Jormungand, Jenova, Joshua and his disciples. And the one person responsible for all the misery in my life, and that of others: Hojo.

I climb the stairs up the secret passage at the Shinra Mansion. As I walk to the window, I know what I´ll see. The world has changed a lot since I first waked up in the coffin, and stared at the people that helped me to pay my sins.

The buildings grow up to the sky; their roofs losing themselves in the clouds above the city. I marvel every time I see what has changed since the last time I got out of this mansion, four hundred years ago.

I descend the stairs, and direct my steps to an empty room, with only a piano on it. As I sit to play it, I remember my past. It´s the only thing that keeps me from descending in the dark pit called madness.

"You´re gonna kill yourself, Vin." Cid said.

"No. I bet you a carton of Lucky srikes you will dance over my grave, Cid."

"Ha, ha...cough, cough... are you trying to cheer me? Because if this goddamn sickness doesn´t kill me, your jokes will."

"So, tell me, is there any good news?"

"Damn doctors say it has receeded. But they´re stupid if they think I don´t know what´s going on."

"What?"

"Don´t play fool with me Vince. I saw you talk with that kid, Dr. Siegel. This is the end for me, isn´t it?"

"Of course not." I said, not soundig convincing enough.

"Ha. I´d know you for, what? sixty fucking years? You can´t lie to me Vin."

I just sat there, not sure of what to say. Cid had been sick for many months now. The lung cancer was consuming him before my eyes. I felt like this when I saw Lucrecia suffer from the Jenova cells injected to her by Hojo. I though I would never pass through this again.

"Why did you say I would kill myself?" I asked him, trying to divert his attention.

"C´mon, Vincent. Since Barret died three years ago, I noticed you became more distant. I was like that when Shera died. I was afraid of being alone. All I wanted was to die; so I could be with her. You look exactly like me back then."

"I do not fear anything, and the only thing I´m afraid of is you surviving just to harass me for another sixty years."

"Don´t fear that Vin. This old man´s airship is about to land in the Promised Land. I don´t feel bad for me, at least I´ll be with Shera and our friends. But I fear for you."

"Why?"

"Because when I leave, only you and Cloud will remain. You seem to be forever stuck being young. But altough Cloud doesn´t seem as old as he should, he looks older than you. And when he leaves, what will happen to you? You either will go mad or you will try to kill yourself."

"It´s true that my life has enough things that would drive any person mad. But I like to think I am strong enough to resist it."

"Well,....cough, cough, cough... Could you give me the damn pills? They are in that drawer."

I opened the drawer´s box. I was surprised by what I saw. I turned to see Cid grinning. I took the box out. It was wrapped in a light blue paper; lots of tape holding it together with a red ribbon tied on top of it.

"Happy Birthday Vince."

"How...?"

"I sent a nurse down to the gift shop. I wrapped it myself, don´t you see? So just open the damn thing, and stop looking dumb. It ruins your "dark guy" image."

I opened it using my claw to cut the paper, trying not to damage whatever was inside. I opened the box, and smiled when I saw what it was.

A wooden pipe, with my name carved on it, by Cid obviously.

"You´re a hundred Vince. So, what else would an old man like you want else than a pipe?"

"I´m one hundred thirteen years old, Cid, but that doesn´t means I´ll start smoking on a pipe, or chasing girls that could be my dau... grandchildren."

"Just put it on your mouth. Once. Just to see you use it."

I put the pipe on my mouth, and Cid began to joke as how "distinguished and intelligent" I looked. Then I got up, since it was almost time for leave.

"I´ll come back tomorrow Cid. Thanks for the gift."

"See you tomorrow. And make sure you bring the pipe. I´ll teach you how to use it." Cid said, then he reclined his head on the pillow and closed his eyes. I got up, and walked outside the room, closing the door silently.

Cid didn´t teach me how to smoke with the pipe. He died that same night. I grieved his lost for a long time; he was the only person in the world I could talk about my past. He supported me when I tried to find Lucrecia, with no avail, after we came back from the Norhtern Crater. I still ask myself if she could be alive in this age. But if I wasn´t been able to find her six hundred years ago, what chance could I have now?

After that, Cloud and I spent our days visiting each other. Cloud, being the adventurer he was, ocasionally accepted a job as a mercenary, that way adding a new tale to the hundreds he told to the people who came all over the world to learn from him how to be a mercenary. He received them with pleasure, since they broke the monotony he was accustomed to. But after a while, the job requests stopped coming in, as the people looking for Cloud did.

It was an August morning, of my one hundred and thirty year, that Cloud told me he was leaving. He was going to travel all around the world. He didn´t answered me when I asked him when would he come back.

After that, an obssesion began to form in my head. If Cloud and I had survived until now, could Lucrecia be still alive? The doubt was powerful enough to drive me out of Nibelheim, to search for her.

In the coming years, I travelled all around the world, from Nibelheim to Wutai, to Midgar, and to the Northern Crater. I searched until, in the summer of my fourth hundred and fifth birthday, I realized I could never find her. I returned, with my soul full of sadness; and I recluded myself in this mansion.

From time to time, I received messages from Cloud, telling me about his travels, his adventures, and the new friends he had made. But after some years, the messages stopped coming. That meant only one thing...

Since then, I have been in this mansion, waiting for the day I will finally able to rest in peace. I stop playing the piano; and as I go back to the basement I have called home for the last millenia, I wish that, this time, when I close my eyes to sleep... I will not open them again.

Happy birthday to me.