Chapter 11 - Loyalty

From Timber Irvine Kinneas and Quistis Trepe boarded a train back to Balamb, the current location of the Balamb garden as well as the Galbadian garden. The Trabia garden was in the process of being repaired but it was expected to join the other two once it was complete. It was a good thing that Timber was no longer under Galbadia's control because all travel between Galbadia and Balamb had been cut off due to the possible onset of war.

The two SeeDs entered the special SeeD suite but neither noticed the superfluous luxuries in the room on this grim day. Quistis sat down and folded her arms. She had a distant look on her face, as though she was contemplating something important. Irvine sat down on the plush leather couch and pulled his hat down to cover his eyes.

"What's going on between you and Seifer?" Quistis asked, suddenly, startling Irvine.

"Nothing." He muttered. "Why?"

She shook her head. "It's obvious Irvine that something has happened. Tell me. What is it? You were more of a hothead than Zell back there."

Irvine waved his hand in a gesture of dismissal.

He pulled his cowboy hat lower. *Stella.* That name. He felt like someone was lighting matches in his chest. He couldn't believe that he had forgotten that name for so many years. He had sworn that he never would, no matter how powerful the GF was. But he had, hadn't he? Irvine replayed the events in his head. He knew he would do this all the time now, so that he would not forget, never again forget.

* * *

He was adopted by a family of three when he was nine. They took him from Edea's orphanage to Timber where he lived for five years before he enrolled in Garden. He never really considered himself to be from Timber, or rather he had forgotten much of what happened there. His foster mother, father, he couldn't remember for the life of him, yet he did remember one. Her name was Stella, she was his new sister. She had short perky blond hair, the color of Quistis' and the style of Selphie's.

And the strangest thing was that she had an obsessive fascination with cowboys. She dressed in a leather vest, short shorts and laced boots. She always had an old dirty cowboy hat on, usually she stuck the blue feather of a Thrustaevis in it. Men loved her. She was like sunshine. A dancing figure straight of a music box. But the best thing was that she was all his. He was always her favorite dance partner, her cowboy partner and her "little man" as she called him.

He remembered during their father's funeral she had sat there on the side of grave, feet tucked under her, with a smile on her face and told the priest that their father probably would have been bored to death by this tedious sermon. "He would never have wanted us to sit here serious and uncomfortable. He would have wanted us to dance and laugh." She told them all, shocking the best of them. A simple child of ten back then, he had clapped his hands and hugged her because her speech made perfect sense to his young mind.

She was his sister the way Ellone was Squall's. But she was so happy. Even when Galbadia invaded Timber and established military rule, she somehow still managed to hold the wildest parties and dance till dawn while he fell asleep beside the bar, her hat on his head, covering his eyes like a real cowboy.

"I don't know why people live the way they do, " she told him "as though life was a contagious disease. It's ridiculous. Promise me Irvy that you'll never turn into a stuffy serious adult. Life is good for making love and getting drunk. Why work so hard for future happiness when you can have it now?"

He had giggled. "Yeah Stelly," he had said. "I'm going to be a cowboy just like you."

She had laughed, placed her hat on his head and taken him, sitting oh her shoulders to the little room underneath the bar where the Laughing Hyenas held their meetings. She twirled around flirting with the boys in the tiny resistance group, while her spunky hair bounced and shined in the dim light of the fading single light bulb.

Of course, then there came the day when a group of soldiers rushed into their bar and began to harass the people, claiming that they were harboring terrorists. Everyone stood mute while two men and a women were dragged away, accused of poisoning the drinks of a few notable government officials. With that Stella stepped forward. She walked over to the blond general and told him promptly that she would not allow him to arrest her costumers.

The general had stared at her in surprise, then humor. "Young whore, get out of my way before you degrade my presence."

Stella stared at him with fire in her eyes. "Let them go or you'll regret it."

With that the general pulled out a gun and shot one of the men in his custody. The man's chest exploded in red and he fell, dead. The general smirked at Stella.

"Yes? Or what?"

Irvine was hiding behind Stella's knees where he watched the man fall. He began sniffing, petrified with fear.

Stella pulled out her gun and promptly pointed it at the general's forehead.

She smiled. "See you in hell, Shojora. I've been waiting for th-"

Bu before she could finish her sentence, her chest exploded. A sniper, hiding behind the door of the bar had picked her off. Her blood splattered all over Irvine as she collapsed onto the floor. He ran over and knelt beside her.

"Stelly, no! No." He had whispered as he held her head with his tiny hands.

She stared at him, her eyes open and glossy in death as the soldiers puller her body away. He had knelt there, that was all that he remembered, kneeling there, forever and ever, watching the blood splattered wood floor.

He enrolled in Garden three years later. He was going to avenge her, his beautiful Stella. He knew the general's name was Shojora. That had been his dream. To stand infront of Shojora, holding his gun, and to say Stella's last words. But two weeks into his schooling, Shojora was lost in combat. From then on Irvine forgot about Stella. He didn't want to remember, how he would now never be able to avenge her death. He became a sniper, guns and women, the two most prominent aspects of his memory. But even though he forgot the events themselves, he always hesitated before he fired his gun with the intent to kill. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that someone's life will be changed forever by the life he took, maybe it too was a little boy who wanted to be a cowboy.

And the memory stayed beneath the tides of his consciousness until he learned of Shojora's illegitimate child during his visit to Edea's Orphanage after Ultimecia died. He had gone with the intent of finding out who his own parents were but instead he found out that of someone else's.

The records there told of Shojora's mistress, Laura Almasy.

Mother of Seifer Almasy.

* * *

"Irvine, wake up!" Quistis yelled into his ear. Irvine jumped up in a fright.

"What? I wasn't sleeping!"

Quistis laughed. "Yes you were. Come on, if you stay here they'll take you back to Timber." She laughed at him again. He pulled his hat closer to his head and rubbed his hands together. "I bet all the lovely ladies at garden have missed me terribly. The poor things. There is only so much of me to go away."

Quistis shook her head. "Come on Romeo let's go. I wish you would tell me what you have against Seifer."

"I don't like his haircut." Irvine replied playfully. "It looks like it belongs to a ten year old." He knew that couldn't confide in her. He had never told anyone about his Stella or about his grudge against Seifer. Quistis might have been a good place to start but the words stopped at the end of his tongue. He had never been the serious kind.

Quistis playfully tugged at Irvine's pony tail as they exited the train. "Yes this looks terribly mature."

Irvine followed her off the train into the Balamb station. He watched her tight vest hug the small of her waist as her leather covered arms swayed gently at her side. Her Save the Queen dangled at her waist. Queen Quistis. He couldn't think of a better title for her.

"Hurry, Irvine."Quistis said waving to him.

He nodded and followed her.

* * *

Quistis ran into the conference room, formerly Headmaster Cid's office, to find Xu and a small group of SeeDs there.

Quistis's glance skipped from one mournful face to another. It was as though someone was dead. A girl was sitting in the corner sobbing quietly. Xu was looking down, her arms folded, face downcast. The aura of sorrow pervaded the tiny room. No, please don't let it be Squall.

"Squall, Xu is there any word on Squall. Is he okay?" Quistis asked with an unconventional urgency.

Xu shook her head. "No there is no word on Squall but . .."

Quistis secretly breathed a sigh of relief. As long as it wasn't Squall. If anything ever happened to Squall, why she'll go insane.

"What?" Quistis asked, slightly calmer. "Tell me. Simon? Nida? Drew? Tell me what's going on."

They all looked down. Xu was the only one to meet her eye.

"Quistis, Galbadia just declared war on Garden."

Quistis nodded. "I know."

Xu shook her head. "I guess our diplomatic efforts didn't go off well."

"No Deling never had any intention of diplomacy. We were right. He just wants to annihilate Garden. He thinks we are group of terrorists hazardous to the health of his Galbadia."

Quistis studied the gloomy room. "I don't understand, didn't you expect this? A fight with Galbadia is inevitable. How long do you think we could keep aiding resistance groups before they would catch on to it?"

Silence.

One of the SeeDs, named Drew, finally looked up at Quistis. "If only Squall didn't snatch that sorceress away. Who does he think he is anyway? Plucking that girl away like Paris and Helen. Now we have to fight a war so that he can keep that girl in his bed? And where is he? Shouldn't he be fighting with us? He just disappeared like some coward off the face of the earth."

Quistis was overcome with fury. She had never attacked a member of Garden but at that moment she wanted to gorge Drew's eyes out. She was so furious that she could hardly speak a word in response.

"How dare you. Never in my life have I heard anything so slanderous. Squall saved Garden from Edea, he saved the world from Ultimecia, he saved you, all of you from complete annihilation. What do you do but sit here and complain, you half witted idiot. If I didn't respect the sacred significance of this room I would rip out your tongue and feed it to a Mes-"

Quistis was cut off by Xu who stepped between them to intervene. "Stop," Xu begged, "Please let's not fight amongst ourselves. At this time more than any other we need to pull together. Please, Quistis, Drew. Stop."

"I'm not the only one who thinks this way!" Drew yelled in response. "More than half the garden thinks this war is ridiculous. Who is Rinoa anyway? She's that bloody Caraway's little whore, possibly Deling's illegitimate daughter. Squall need to keep his mind in his head and not in his pants all the time. Any respect I had for him during the Sorceress war is irrevocably gone."

"Fine!" Quistis yelled. "Get out, get of Squall's garden. You are all exiled for treason. I'll fight this war, even if I have to do it myself. Even Seifer was better than you. At least he did it for a dream. You? You are just a bloody coward, slandering a man who is a thousand times as noble as you."

"Please no! No one is exiled for treason. Stop it Quistis. Squall is somewhere, he must have his reasons for not contacting us. We can't fight the Galbadians alone. Quistis, there aren't as many people who would give up their lives for Squall as you may think." Xu stated.

Quistis stared at Xu in absolute shock. "You too, Xu?"

Quistis continued sadly. "I thought that if I had one ally in this room it would be you. What happened to "Squall, I'm behind you 100%? Or was that only for when you knew that it was his job to take of everything. Are you just a fair weather friend, Xu? Turning your back as soon as he is the one in need?"

Xu shook her head, sadly. "Quistis, don't say that. You know I love Squall like a brother. If he needed my right arm I would give it to him without hesitation. But this is Garden. Cid's garden. If you choose to fight Galbadia I'll be right beside you even if it is a losing battle. But I can't order Garden into this. I can't."

Quistis stared at all of them with tears in her eyes. "I see."

"I see more now than I ever saw before. Thank you Xu, thank you Drew. I used to believe that Garden wouldn't forsake its members. I used to believe that we were all one on a mission to crush tyranny and injustice. I believed that I was sending my students off to glorious noble lives. Now I see behind all the masks. I'll fight this war. I'm not just fighting for Squall and Rinoa. I'm fighting against the oppressors of freedom who would choose manipulate the minds of innocent people. Do you really believe that Galbadia desist if you surrender? Just wait for the next trivial matter which Deling chooses to use as a springboard to war. You'll see then, oh you'll see, as I see now."

Quistis ran out of the room. Two SeeDs tried to block her way but she shoved her way past them.

Xu sighed as she heard Quistis's footsteps disappear down the hall. She had no doubt that Zell, Irvine, Selphie were behind her as well as a good portion of Garden. There was no way to win. Either way, Garden would be destroyed. She just wished that Cid was here. He would know what to do. And most of all, Squall. Where was he? How could sit by and allow this to happen? She knew sadly that Drew and his fellow dissenters were holding a meeting to choose a new commander. At first she was opposed to it but she was beginning to believe that it would be for the better. Squall just wasn't leader material, if only Quistis would see that.

* *

Zell and Selphie walked into the dormitory to see a sight they never thought they would see, the cold level headed instructor was crying.

Selphie ran over to Quistis and placed her hands on the instructor's shoulder.

"Quisty, what's wrong?" Selphie asked, squealing in surprise.

"Yo, Quistis, tell us. Was it those Galbadians? Is it Squall? Is he okay?" Zell asked.

Quistis dried her eyes and stopped tried to best to get her calmness back. It was terrifying to Zell to see her this way. She was always their older sister, the one who knew that was going on. Today, she had broken down. It was like the sky was falling.

"I'm fine," Quistis ordered, and gently pushed Selphie's concerned hands away.

They heard footsteps and the door behind Selphie opened.

"Zell! Selphie! I came right away. I heard you are bac - . . . what the Quistis have you been crying?" Irvine asked, just as surprised.

Selphie motioned for Irvine to shut up. "Is it Squall and Rinoa, Quistis? Just tell us yes or no."

Quistis wiped her eyes with the back of her bare hands. Her gloves were lying in her lap.

"There is no word from Squall. Galbadia has declared war on Garden and . . . " Quistis trailed off and began to twist the gloved in her left hand.

"What?" Zell asked impatiently.

Selphie glared at Zell. Quistis did not notice. She continued where she had left off.

"They .. , the garden is divided. They think Squall dragging us into a fight for selfish reasons. . . . they are going to choose a new commander."

"What?!" Zell yelled. Selphie gasped. Irvine raised his eyebrows.

" No! Yo that's just wrong in a thousand ways." Zell exclaimed.

"That can't be true!" Selphie yelled. "I don't believe it. I don't know anyone here that doesn't look up to Squall. They don't always say it but I know. Everyone in Garden loves Squall. That just can't be true."

Irvine shook his head. "Sometimes when a small minority believes something strongly they can sway the opinion of an unsure majority. We need to find Squall. If he shows up chances are this issue will disappear. You two, any news?"

Selphie looked at her feet and Zell looked confused.

"No," Selphie whispered. "We looked everywhere. No sign of them. It's like they disappeared off the face of the earth."

"We visited Matron and Cid though," Zell added helpfully.

Quistis shook her head and closed her eyes. She looked like she was suffering from a migraine headache. Irvine nodded at Selphie and Zell but he looked just as lost.

"If Squall wants to keep his place as commander he better to show up soon." Quistis whispered tiredly. "They are choosing a new leader this evening."

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Author's Note: please don't get insulted over the chapter on Irvine. I only wrote it to explain why Irvine is such a hothead to Seifer. If you hate it just pretend its not here. It has no affect on the rest of the story.

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Chapter 12 - The Choices Of One

The shades of dawn had already passed as Squall Leonhart walked over the rocky ground of the Winhill bluffs. Birds fluttered by disturbing the quiet solitude of the path. Squall walked on tirelessly, not unlike the way he had trodden through the desert during his near encounter with death.

Rinoa, he had left her asleep, there in that abandoned house. She had looked so peaceful as he tucked her under the covers. He knew the sorceress was coming. That seemed inevitable now. It didn't matter. He needed to take a walk to clear his mind.

*"It's just beyond that hill."*

Laguna, Squall thought, if only you could see me now. It has been only a few a days ago when he had hiked down the same path beside that man. How things have changed since then. *Except the fact that you are still not my father.* Squall thought to himself. *nothing, no sorceress from the future or monster in deep space can change the fact that I will never be your son.*

Squall walked up to the tombstone. He had always wondered what his mother was like. He was glad that she had been a strong women. One who resisted Laguna's childish charm. He would have liked her - Raine Leonhart, she seemed like the type of person who could understand him. But she was dead. Disappeared just like the rest of them. He could talk to her now, but she would not answer back. It was tragic irony, he had found his mother only to realize that she was dead. He wasn't much better off before when he was still looking.

Squall crouched down beside the tombstone and traced the letters with his gloved hand. Raine Loire. Raine Loire. Raine Loire. Why had she agreed to put that? What was that man's name on her monument to eternity when she had named her son Leonhart? What a mystery that had died with her.

Raine, mom, I've never spoken to you before, at least not by name. I came to ask your advice today. I hope you can hear me, despite the fact that I'm not talking out loud.

He took his hands off the tombstone and turned his glaze from the horizon back to the slab of marble in front of him. Is this what it was like to sit with your mother? He wondered. All through his life he had seen people praising their mothers. He could only grasp that abstractly, by faith, the way you had to have faith that the desk was made of molecules although you could never see it. He had to have faith that there was such a thing as unconditional love, one which no one can take away.

Mom, I'm lost I don't know what to do.

Raine Leonhart. Raine Leonhart. Beautiful Raine. What would it feel like to be hugged by her? Did she love him when she held him for the last time? Or maybe he was just a burden, just a momento her lover had left her after all the romance was gone. But she had named him Leonhart hadn't she? So surely there was some degree of love, of possessiveness.

Garden or Rinoa. Mother, which one should I choose?

What would she think if she saw him today? Did she know that he had his father's eyes? Would she praise him for hating Laguna, the man that had abandoned them both?

Mother are you going to answer me?

Maybe she was just dead and there was nothing after death. The entire illusion of having a mother was no more real than the room on the other side of a mirror. However, for a moment amid the lingering colors of dawn, he wanted to step through that mirror. It was a place where there were no sorceresses. No paradoxes. Where you did not have the burden of a nation on your shoulders. The stories made it seem so simple. Rescue the lady and save the world. What if you can't have both? What then?

Mother, I'm so lonely. I wish I could lay down there in the deep earth beside you.

I never wanted to be the hero, Raine. I just wanted to be loved by someone. To never be so painfully lonely. I wish I could have lived my life beside you in this tiny village. I wish I had never seen the wide wide world and all its evil. I wish I never knew the meaning of rival, of death of Garden. For that I would give up all my skill, my pride, my victories.

If it was my choice, mom, I would choose to be with you.

Suddenly he heard a voice behind him, a female voice.

"Squall, it's me."

* *

Rinoa felt the sorceress awaken inside her. It wasn't like last time when she simply went out cold. She could feel the sorceress spreading inside her, through her right arms first, then her left. She could still move her toes of her own will by the time it was taking over her neck and chin. It was like being paralyzed. She was able to wiggle her toes as much as she wanted but it was impossible to move her mouth to take a breath. Pretty soon, her toes stopped moving too and she couldn't will them to start again no matter how hard she tried. The sorceress began her moving now. Rinoa felt her legs swinging over the side of the bed. Her fingers reached down to put her shoes on. She tried as hard as she could to resist but it was like a dream when her body got heaver and heaver as the monster came closer and closer. She couldn't budge an inch.

"Stop resisting me." The sorceress ordered.

Rinoa felt a jot of surprise. She could talk to the sorceress.

"Where are we going?" Rinoa asked her, through her mind.

"To find my prince," the sorceress answered.

"You're not going to harm him are you?"

The sorceress thought that was funny.

"I'm going to help him, Rinoa. So he won't be so unhappy."

Rinoa felt her body getting up now. Slowly, unsteadily, her body began to take step by step towards the door. The body tripped over the rug and fell upon its knees. Rinoa could see herself in the mirror across the room. She looked like she was drunk. It was terrifying to see herself, a body she recognized so well, but to realize that it wasn't her inside. It was worse than meeting an evil twin.

"Steady Steady," the sorceress whispered to herself.

"You're not like Ultimecia," Rinoa thought but said as well since there was no longer any

difference between thinking and saying. "She was better at it than you."

"I know," the sorceress replied. "She was a powerful witch. My powers are but a fraction of hers. That's why I'm not wasting my strength knocking you out this time. You can stay with me until I find him. Then I'll have to talk to him alone."

"What do you want with him . . Alexandra?"

"I want him to love me. He doesn't love you, Rinoa. Haven't you figured that out yet? You're not good enough for him."

"Child," Rinoa began sadly, "Squall is a man, you're . . a child. A child without a body. "

The sorceress was quiet.

"I'm going to send you away to dreamland soon, Rinoa. But just wait. I'll show you. You'll see."

Rinoa felt herself gaining speed. She ran down the stairs and out onto the street. It was fast, she was afraid that she would fall. But the sorceress didn't. She kept running, down the bridge, over the chocobo crossing and outside the village into the bluffs.

"I know where he is." The sorceress said triumphantly. "He went to visit Raine."

"Please stop." Rinoa begged the sorceress.

"I'm sorry, Rinoa," the sorceress said. "I need him. I need to be with him. I'm so alone. I need your world. It is the only place where I can be happy. My world so barren. This place is like a fantasy world. The great and final fantasy."

"This place is my reality and you are destroying my life. Can't you understand that? Give me back my body, please. This is not a game."

The child was quiet, as though she was contemplating what Rinoa had said. Rinoa felt her legs picking up speed as they went over the last hill and she saw Squall kneeling there beside his mother's grave. So he had come here, she thought.

"I knew he would be here," the sorceress said.

Rinoa felt her mouth move.

"Squall!"

Rinoa saw Squall turn around. At the sight of her there was an intense look of annoyance on his face. His thin delicate brows arched and he stood there stiffly waiting for the sorceress to catch up to him. So he knows too, Rinoa thought. At least he knew and she won't trick him. Alexandra was annoyed by his unhappiness to see her. Meanwhile, Rinoa began to fade out to "dreamworld" as Alexandra promised. I trust you Squall, she thought as she went into oblivion.

* *

"Squall!!"

Squall turned around to see Alexandra running up the Winhill bluffs. He knew it was Alexandra. Rinoa was gone. He watched her coming, her long legs skipping over the rougher rocks.

"It's me." She said, out of breath.

Squall stood there with his eyes on Alexandra. She waved at him. It wasn't hard to pretend that it was Rinoa running towards him. That it was Rinoa's raven hair blowing in the damp morning wind. That it was really Rinoa's smile gracing that pale oval face. That it was Rinoa's long swan like legs carrying her towards him, into his embrace.

But it wasn't.

He had to remember what was real.

As long as he still had a gripe on reality the sorceress would have no power over him.

"Squall, so you've come to visit Raine?"

` He shrugged, turning back to the tombstone, ignoring her.

She crouched down beside him, the way Rinoa used to. It was irritating him to no end.

"You left without me. I was worried."

There was a moment of silence before she spoke up again.

"I miss my mother too. We are alike aren't we Squall? Two orphans lost in time."

She sighed and flicked her hair back, away from her face.

" There is no one we can depend on to pull us out of trouble, no one to care whether we are dead or alive."

She paused, watching the ground and the red letters etched in stone. When she spoke next it was in a quiet sincere voice, the same one that Rinoa used to use.

" Rinoa can't understand your loneliness, Squall, or your despair. What does she have to be afraid of? Her general father will always be there to pull her out of trouble. But what about you Squall? If you were to fall who would catch you?"

"I have myself." He whispered. "And my friends, Ellone, Rinoa, Quistis. I'm not alone. You are the only one who is alone, Alexandra, there is no place for you here."

She nodded. "You have no place here either. You wander amidst them but you feel like you can't touch them. Night after night, trapped in a glass box, screaming out loud but completely silent. Weren't those your own words Squall? You compared it to being wrapped in layer after layer of flannel. But when she asked you what you were thinking, you lied. You lied because you knew that she could never understand. She came from a sugar coated childhood of lollipops and flowers. You can from a sun cracked desert, devoid of tenderness or love."

He glared at her. "How dare you intrude on my thoughts. You witch. I won't give in to your illusions. I'm not Seifer."

"You're right, you are not Seifer, but you wish you were. You want his brashness his confidence and his immaturity. You wanted that because your thoughts brought you so much pain so you choose not to think at all, just like Seifer."

"You lie. Stop playing with my mind. Shut up."

"Really I lie? Tell me, why is it that you love Rinoa? Why were you so eager to have her despite the fact that she was so much trouble and so distant. You choose her because she was Seifer's. You want to be him, even during the Dollet exam, you were looking for a way to have his approval. That is why you gave him that scar so that you would be identical. His dream was always to be a great warrior. You claim never to have wanted that yet unconsciously that is the goal you accomplished - a great warrior you are, the end product of Seifer's dream."

"The circumstances made me this way. I just did what was needed to be done. I won't be manipulated by your sorcery, Alexandra."

"I pity you Squall. You are better than them, all of them. Yet you choose to be like them.

Seifer is nothing but a shell, he is a thousand mirrors, living up to a standard that doesn't exist. That's how my mother was able to control him. But not you, I could never manipulate you. I only seek a friend. Someone to understand my loneliness. Do you know Squall what it is to be truly alone?"

"Don't, Alexandra." He whispered. "Don't use my own weaknesses against me. I won't have it. I won't be your knight."

She frowned and reached over to touch his shoulder in a gesture of sympathy. He angrily shook her off.

"You won't be my knight but will you be Rinoa's? You will keep on walking through the play of life reading Seifer's script? Seifer choose her for you, Squall. You said that you didn't want to be a puppet anymore well the time has come for you to make a choice. Don't say simply what you think you think the leader of SeeD would say. I'm Alexandra not Ultimecia. I'm your friend not your burden. A child not a monster. I'm just alone, so bitterly alone that I came back in time to find you, my prince."

Squall shook his head. "Do you really expect me to believe that Alexandra? That you are not evil? That you are just lonely? And even more preposterous - that you are here for me? This is my mother's tombstone. Don't desecrate this place by telling me any more lies here. I love Rinoa, I love her of my own will and nothing you say will change that."

Alexandra chuckled. "Then why won't you tell her the truth? Why do you keep lying to her? You told her that you would be waiting for her in the meadow yet you never showed up. Squall, the truth is that you never loved her enough. You went back in time to seek your childhood instead. If these are lies then why do they sound so true? And if it is really love than why does it feel so fake? I'm only a child Squall, and even I can see that what you two share is not love. She's nothing but an accessory to your mask."

Squall got up and turned away from her. He stared at the stretch of grassland before him as the wind ran its fingers through the his hair.

Mother, what is the truth? He wondered. Do I really love her? Or is it just another illusion. The good illusions and the bad. It was so hard to tell sometimes. What was love really? Did he even know? Maybe Alex was right and he was just playing a role all along. But it was all just illusion. A web of dreams.

"I don't believe you, Alexandra."

Alexandra nodded and stood up.

"All right, Squall, since you won't be persuaded by my words. Let me show you my true power."

Squall turned around and his mouth fell agape in surprise.

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Author's note: Alexandra comes from Alexandros, another name for Paris who kidnapped Helen and started the Trojan war.

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Chapter 13 - Divided.

Caraway stood at the large oval window behind his desk. He pulled back the red velvet curtains as he frowned in contemplation at the nighttime skyline of Deling City. The wound he bore from Seifer's sword felt like a shard of glass stuck deep in his chest. It was not about to heal soon.

"General Caraway," the young messenger interrupted softly, fearfully.

Caraway merely ignored him.

"General Caraway, the president wanted me to inform you that to take advantage of Garden's weakness. We should strike immediately."

Caraway pulled his worn age weary hand up to his chin. He said nothing, seemingly deaf to the young man's pleas.

"You may go now," Caraway finally replied.

The young man eagerly turned to leave. However, Caraway interrupted him as he came to the threshold of the door.

"Tell Jim to come in," Caraway said, softly as though he was thinking of something far more tender than war. "Jim Wallace, he should be right outside the door."

The young man glanced back for a second across the dark room. It was like the kind of room that vampires and goblins dwelled. Where the raven would sit on his bust and quote nevermore. The young man just wished that four decades of war wouldn't bring him to the same state of mind as Caraway, to enjoy living in such a room.

"Yes, sir!" The young man said, far less tense now that he was a step away from the safety of the hallway.

He stepped through the door with a breath of relief.

"Stand up straight soldier," someone ordered from behind him. The young man jumped to attention.

"Jim Wallace? Mr. Wallace? I'm sorry I didn't realize you were -"

"Shut your trap soldier," Wallace ordered. "Here in the military I'm General Wallace to you. Remember that if you ever plan on going home to your mama again. Now get out of my sight."

The young man nodded swiftly and obediently. He walked stiffly to the stairs and scrambled out of the mansion once he was out of the range of the two men. Compared to the horror stories he had heard, that meeting had gone quite well.

Wallace respectfully stepped into Caraway's office. He removed his hat and held it infront of him in a gesture of respect to his old friend. The room was musty and dark, the way it had been since Julia Heartilly died. Wallace still remembered the days when he would see little chubby Rinoa sitting in the corner of her father's office playing with her dolls. Then you would hear the tend strands of the piano form the parlor where Julia sat like day and night playing her haunting melodies. It used to be a place full of warm and laughter. But that was then, Julia was dead now, dead and buried in the Deling graveyard underneath a magnificent marble angel. And Rinoa, well Rinoa, the poor misguided child. Wallace could only hope that she would realize one day how much her father truly did love her.

"I'm afraid this a war we have to fight," Wallace stated.

"Garden, the complete annihilation of Garden" Caraway mused, his voice hoarse but calm. Caraway looked like he had aged twenty years in the last five days. His skin appeared to hang from his face. Wallace shook his head.

"Tell me what it is old friend. You never used to hid so much from me."

Caraway shook his head. "I am an old man without a country. This is a war which I cannot win." Caraway allowed his hand to slide over the wound over his chest. Ah, what lovely pain that was. How he deserved that pain, yet it was nothing compared to what he had suffered that day when the sea of metal swallowed his wife Julia. Rinoa was but five back then. He still remembered the screams. A tear, crept down his cheek. It traced the wrinkled on his cheek, outlining cracks and crevasses. And each tiny fold in his age worn face marked a place where he had tucked a painful memory.

"Caraway," Wallace said once more. "I will go in your place to Garden, if it is your wish. I will so what Deling asked of you. There is no need for you to go. These past days have been hard on you."

Caraway nodded, with an air of total resignation. "All right Wallace, I will leave Garden to you. But have mercy, remember they are only children.not much different from your Chris and my Rinoa. We are fighting a war against children." Caraway said with bitterness in his voice.

Wallace nodded. "Deling has agreed to work with the leader of Neo Garden, has he not? It will be far easier. I heard that their fighting spirit is waning. After all their leader is gone. I expect this war won't last long with few fatalities."

Caraway folded his arms over his chest. The beautiful pain came again. Like a flower of pain blooming in his chest. A flower for Julia.

"Don't underestimate the power of the Garden and its SeeD," Caraway warned Wallace. "They have spirit and loyalty, it is an admirable trait in those so young."

Wallace shook his head sadly. "If I didn't know better I would almost say that you felt something positive toward those scoundrels. Do you think that young imp that slashed you across your chest had 'spirit and loyalty.'"

"Seifer Almasy." Caraway mused quietly. He reflected on the deep scar he had seen on the SeeD which his daughter had brought to Deling. Almasy was no good. Caraway would have shot him without a second thought. "If he shows up, terminate him, Wallace. He is a menace to society, I don't think you need me to tell you that."

Wallace nodded. "I will see to that." After a few moments of silence, Jim Wallace stepped closer to Caraway. He gestured to the painting on the wall, a old portrait of Rinoa, who was then a tiny eleven year old when her mother died. "Tell me Caraway, why this sudden gloom over the splitting of Garden? In the old days we would have rejoiced happily over the disbanding of these terrorists. Why this sudden change?"

Caraway slowly turned his head away from Wallace. He sighed, a sound filled with resignation and despair. When he spoke next it was with a tenderness that he had spared only for Julia and Rinoa. "The old commander, the one which Deling has been mock pursuing.The truth, the truth Wallace, is that I've begun to like that boy."

Wallace frowned. "Did I hear you correctly, general? He's the leader of a band of terrorists, no better than the king of thieves. Rinoa, poor misled Rinoa, don't let her do this to herself. Surely you must be joking."

Caraway nodded. "Deling is plotting my death at this very moment, Jim. I know he is. When garden falls that is my death toll. I'm not going to try to avoid it. I've dedicated my life to Galbadia. I won't die nameless in some cowardly hiding place. I don't fear Deling, I just despise him.

Wallace shook his head and looked down. "Don't say that. Deling would never do such a thing."

Caraway chuckled, sighing sadly. "The boy, he watches over Rinoa the way I've always done. If I were to go I want to know that I would leave my only child in good hands. If he shows up Balamb, Wallace, spare him. Let him live, that is all I ask of you as a friend. He will soon be Rinoa's only caretaker."

Wallace stared at Caraway in annoyance. "Stop it, don't talk like that. I won't have you talking about death. Deling is just a greedy bastard just like his brother. He needs you to plunder his towns and to keep his people under his fat thumb. As for Garden, if Rinoa comes, i promise to escort her safely back to you. I make no promises about the boy." Wallace bowed respectfully to Caraway and turned to leave. He watched Caraway standing at the window overlooking Deling City. Poor Caraway, he's losing his mind. Leaving poor helpless Rinoa in the hands of a terrorist leader? The poor child. Her father just never understood people, perhaps that was what that had driven her from him. Wallace looked at the portrait of Rinoa sadly once more, before he left the room. To Garden.

* *

The quad was filled to the seams with students as Drew Gains and Quistis Trepe stood on the small stage. Drew had a sympathetic smile on his face while Quistis had her lips pressed tightly together in a look of absolute hatred and annoyance.

The room quieted down as Drew raised his hands for silence.

"My fellow students and SeeDs, this is a grave time before us. As you know Galbadia has recently declared war on Garden. And now I ask you, what incentive do have to fight this war? What incentive do you have to go into that bloody field and risk your lives?"

"For commander Squall!" one of the junior classman yelled, suddenly.

Drew laughed.

"If he is your beloved commander then where is he now when you need him the most? If he truly cared about Garden's well being he would be on this stage now, not me. But he is not here. He has forsaken you. I like most of you, am greatly saddened by Cid's serious illness and his inability to communicate with Garden anymore. However, had he been able, I'm sure he would tell us that he never intended for Squall to lead garden permanently. Squall is a SeeD, SeeDs fight sorceress, he has broken that code. How can he lead an organization for fighting sorceresses when he himself is in love with one? It is ridiculous."

Quistis spoke up. "Listen to me, don't let him persuade you with his vile lies. These are times that try your souls. Remember that you will not be fighting this war for Squall, you are fighting for the meek and the weak. You can choose to be a coward and surrender to Galbadia but I assure you that sooner or later he will make life unbearable to you, all of you. It is common for a person to choose to suffer injustices rather than correct them. In my short career of teaching I have always believed that Garden trained students to fight and not tolerate. Please don't prove to me what all my expectations were lies."

"But where is he?" A male student suddenly yelled from the back of the room. "Where is Squall, Quistis?"

"Yes, Quistis," Drew said, "where is he?"

Quistis looked at the giant crowd sadly. "He's somewhere, doing what needs to be done. I trust that. I trust Squall. He'll come when we need him the most, I know he will."

Drew snickered sarcastically. "We need him now Quistis. If he's going to be so stingy with his presence I say we choose a new leader, one who will be here, where he is needed."

"Like you?" Quistis asked angrily.

Drew smiled and nodded. "Yes, what a good suggestion Quistis, I would have never expected it from you." With that Drew raised his arms to the crowd. "If elected the new commander I will prevent this war with Galbadia. I will make sure the sorceress is handed over to Deling where she belongs."

There was absolute silence in the room. Quistis stood there practically shaking with anger. For a second she almost wished that Zell and Irvine were here so that they could beat the living crap out of the likes of Drew Gains.

"You can't do this," Quistis whispered shakily. "How can you even tolerate listening to this snake faced liar? Please, listen to me. This is wrong. This is so wrong." She trailed off into nothingness.

"Fine," Drew stated. "Those who would like to fight the war, leave, go and die on that bloody battle field for a petty squabble over your commander's girlfriend. I pity you, in your blind loyalty. Those who would like follow me, stay."

Quistis stared in absolute shock as not one member of the audience left.

Drew laughed.

"This is the dawn of a new era. Neo Garden, I am your new commander."

* *

In a tiny run down bar in Dollet a female reporter spoke from a flickering television.

"Today, Balamb Garden has split into two sectors, Balamb Garden and Neo Balamb. The other Gardens are expected to follow. Recently elected leader of Neo Balamb, Drew Gains, stated that his sector of Garden will join Galbadia to capture the sorceress from Garden.

'The sorceress is evil,' Gains stated today, ' We have provided her a sanctuary long enough. It is time for Garden to hand her over and allow justice to be done.' Until that occurs, we, Neo Garden, will aid Galbadia in every way possible.'"

The young blond boy who was sitting infront of the television appeared to have heard enough. He swept his eyes over the bar in one haughtily glance then strolled out, with shining blood wetted gunblade in hand. He walked across the street to find the hotel where him and his comrades were staying. However, as he walked into the room, he realized that only one was there - Fujin.

"Seifer," she said, nodding in quiet greeting.

"Pack up, Fujin, We are going to Balamb," Seifer said.

She nodded. "Now?"

Seifer scratched his head. "Yes," he replied. For a second he thought she would question his sudden change in disposition, but she merely got up and walked across the room and commenced to pack. He was slightly startled by her obedience but quickly quieted his surprise.

"Where's that fool Raijin?" he asked her, while glancing out the door down the hall. He tapped his gunblade against the door frame, breaking flakes of plaster loose and unto the carpet in tiny showers, minuscule, and unnoticed.

"Left." She replied.

He nodded. "That fool never says where he is going huh? I guess we'll have to go around town wasting out time looking for him."

She walked up to him, studying him with her single eye. Pressing her lips together thoughtfully, she nodded.

They found Raijin on Dollet beach practicing his special move. Seifer laughed. He couldn't help it. As Raijin had his back turned Seifer easily stepped toward and tripped the large man, making him fall on his face in the wet sand. Fujin suppressed a small laugh.

"Wha? What did you do that for Seifer?" Raijin demanded getting back onto his feet. "You two keep picking on me. It gets annoying, ya know?"

Seifer smirked happily. "Stop complaining, you complain more than a girl."

Raijin glanced at Fujin and back to Seifer. "Are we going somewhere?" he asked.

"Balamb," Fujin replied.

"Wha?? Balamb? No Seifer, no not this time. All the gardens are there. They are going to crush us like tiny bugs," Raijin said, placing his index finger a inch from his thumb, to emphasize his point.

"Aw shut up, I'm the leader of this posse. I decide where we go." Seifer said.

Raijin shook his head. "This has nothing to do with the garden splitting has it? That's Squall's business, ya know. I don't want to get involved with that."

"Fool." Fujin said vindictively.

"Yes," Seifer said, "listen to Fujin. Come we need to get going."

"It's that sorceress isn't it Seifer? She's the one you are looking for." Raijin asked, not budging.

Seifer frowned. He did not like being placed on the spot by one of his subordinates.

"Yeah so what?" Seifer asked, turning back towards Raijin. "I just wanna find her and kill her, that's all. So no more sorceresses can appear tampering with my head."

"Why? She ain't bothering you Seifer. She's with Squall. Let her mess with his head."

Seifer growled under his breath. "If you don't want to come Raijin then stay. I don't give a chocobo's ass either way."

Raijin looked at Fujin, hoping that she would talk some sense into him.

Fujin looked down. " Seifer, is this for Rinoa?" she asked, her voice hardly above the softest of whispers.

Seifer glared at no one in particular. "Rinoa, Rinoa is a sorceress, I kill sorceresses, there is nothing more."

Fujin looked up, looking significantly less gloomy. "Let's go then, to Balamb."

"Wha?" Raijin asked. "I don't get it." The two members of his posse turned their backs to him and began to walked down Dollet beach to the docks. Significantly agitated, Raijin gave up. "Wait up!" he yelled as he kicked sand into the air, running after them.

Chapter 14 - Sorrow of Heaven

Squall stood there, in the rain, letting the tears of the sky wash over him. It fell from the gray heavens, onto his head, down the tiny channels of hair, sliding drop by drop across the smooth dark skin of his eyelids, cheek, and lips. It was so cold. Rain can be colder than ice when it wanted. He was drenched through. Rain, the gray brain colored droplets, that drenched his clothes transforming them into heavy weighs and prevented him from moving. How evil it was, dripping from the sky drop by tiny beautiful drop mesmerizing you with its beauty until the bitter cold breaks through your skin and bring death.

Squall slowly opened his eyes, disturbing the droplets of water so that they hung tenderly from his eyelashes. It was a gray and barren landscape, a cemetery, and in front of him laid a grave. A hug marble angel stood there frozen in a pose of victory. Her leg, through the smooth round wet drapery showed her to be stepping forward. Her winds flared out as though she was about to take flight. What irony, that she would spend all of eternity on the verge of moving.

However as strong as the marble angel was, she could not withstand the pelting rain which bore her down little by tiny little until she was disfigured and worn. Rain, the deceptive evil rain that bore the lightening flashes rumbling through the wrath of heaven.

Squall stood there watching the face of the marble angel. She had her arms stretched upwards as though she was trying to embrace the sky. It was a bittersweet look on her face, almost one of acceptance, on love for her tragic fate. The storm was growing more intense. The lightening struck the ground close by, burning craters into the cemetery garden. Yet Squall did not move his eyes from the marble angel. He cared nothing for the dangerously close bolts that snaked to the ground in fiery sparks. He knew somehow that the thunderstorm would pass soon.

Yet suddenly, the marble angel began to move, her head turned from the sky and rotated down until her empty white eyes were fully upon him. Watching me? You can't save me with yours eyes alone. Squall opened his mouth and reached forward in shock as a huge bolt stabbed straight through her. The lightening passed through him, into his arms first, grabbing his limb in death hold. He pulled his arms back in shock.

"Ouch!" Someone yelled as he hit something soft.

Squall opened his eyes, light, blinding white light. He sat up straight in a compulsive jerk.

"Squall."

Squall rubbed his eyes, his arm felt numb. It wasn't the lightening, he must have slept on his arm. It didn't matter. Just a dream.

He felt someone tugging him from behind pulling him back down into a sleeping position. He laid back down, forearm over his eyes. He knew it was either Rinoa or Alexandra but for a moment he didn't want to know which one it was. He had his reasons for wanting to avoid both of them.

"I think you might have a fever, Squall," she whispered quietly, pulling the covers back over him. Rinoa, yes he was sure, it was Rinoa. He was getting better at this.

He removed his arm, squinting in the light. He gently pushed her hands away. Beside his side he felt her soft weigh leaning against him.

"I'm fine, just leave me alone . . Rinoa." He glanced at her, seeing her concerned face watching him. Her bangs fell into her eyes in tiny strands. A tiny frown bent the rose that was her mouth. She reached over and stroked the side of his face with the back of her fingers.

He closed his eyes feeling her gently fingers on him. But his body wouldn't give him a moments peace as he suddenly felt a wave of nausea pass through him. He felt her fingers gently exploring his hand where the skin was still raw. Was it the marble angel that had done that? No, but that was a dream, dreams stopped at the boundary between sleep and wake. He was awake now, or was he?

His head throbbed with pain like there was tiny tumor growing underneath his skull. No matter how he shifted his head on the pillow he could name make that pain lessen. But suddenly he felt a horrible felt a feeling at the back of his throat. He pulled himself up and vomited into the waste basket nearby. He choked silently. Rinoa's hand was on his back, patting him.He pushed her away again. As he pulled back he caught sight of her face. A mixture of sadness and worry, a blur of pale skin.

He remembered holding her in his arms, her grabbing his wrist and him blacking out. Did she bring him back here? Alexandra? Or Rinoa?

"Don't worry, Squall." She whispered to him pushing him back into a sleeping position. "Rest, I'll take care of you."

* *

"Stop it with your illusions Alexandra, you have gone too far." Squall whispered harshly as he saw the long haired women standing there on the bluffs, her face turned away. He knew exactly who she was though, or who Alexandra wanted him to believe she was. Raine.

Alexandra was kneeling on the ground her hands folded over her chest. She did not answer him. Her head was bent down in an intensely compact pose. As though she was trying to draw herself into one core.

The woman on the bluffs spoke instead. "Squall," she said. "You've come to talk to me."

Squall glared at Alexandra one last time. "Stop it," he insisted, in a far less confident tone.

He took a few steps toward the female stranger. He eyed her suspiciously. No she couldn't be Raine, Raine is dead and gone. Yet she looked exactly like the women he has seen in Laguna's flashbacks. He frowned at her. Alexandra could read his mind, who says that she couldn't draw images from his mind and project them into the object world?

"We don't have long Squall, if you with to speak to me, I won't be able to answer back for long."

Squall merely watched her.

"How do I know you are really my mother?" he asked her suspiciously.

She frowned. "I would think that my son would know his own mother."

She sighed and gestured to Alex. "She brought me here."

Squall glanced at Alex whose hair had began to send off red sparks.

Squall nodded. Whatever she was doing, she wouldn't be able to do it for much longer. Suddenly he felt Raine touch his arm. She was slightly shorter than him so she was looking up at his eyes. "I always wanted to tell you this Squall. I left you. I know I abandoned you. My illness was too severe, I couldn't hold on, even for you. But I wanted to tell you for so long that there is nothing wrong with the way you are. Your disposition is completely like mine. You turned out just fine."

Squall nodded. Yes, only a mother like his would think of that to tell him. Anyone else's first words would probably be something utterly useless like "son your mother loves you."

She ignored his silence. He felt her fingers reaching up to stroke his shoulder.

"I don't care what you choose with Garden. I see you inherited your father's lust for war. Well, I guess no one is perfect."

He frowned at her. Actually he was beginning to see the truth of what she said about him inheriting her disposition. She was utterly honest, to the point of brutality, just like him.

"Did you hear what I was saying to you before?" He asked her, tentatively.

She nodded thoughtfully. "Yes, I always hear what you say to me although it hurts me that you would call out to Ellone far more. I do answer you Squall, I always answer you. Just think of the most selfish, self benefiting answer to your problem and that is my answer. I don't care about the rest of them, I just want you to be safe, and Ellone too, but she has Laguna doesn't she?"

He nodded to Raine, studying her. Her eyes were large and oval, beautiful and honest. Her hair was pulled back in a hairband, completely neat and efficient.

"Laguna, you asked me about him too didn't you? I think I might have made a mistake with Laguna. I wonder why I fell in love with him. He was just so warm and energetic. I admired him for that because I wanted to be so happy . . . like him. But now I think I'm beginning to see. Squall, don't be like me. Find someone who will understand you, not someone you have on a pedestal, someone who won't run away when they see past your strength and beauty."

Squall nodded at her. If this was an illusion then he was the willing fool. He didn't care anymore. He wasn't strong enough to resist. He reached over and hugged her, more whole heartily perhaps then he had ever held Rinoa. She was one of his kind. Yet in his arms she began to melt, to flicker, to disappear. Alexandra was covered in a red aura, it was clear that she was in pain. Raine noticed it as well. She looked at Squall one last time sadly.

"Farewell my son," she whispered, as the wind blew her to dust.

Squall stood there alone on the windy bluffs contemplating what he had saw. Finally he decided not to think about it. He turned toward Alexandra and walked over to her. She was barely breathing. He reached over to see if she was all right and then suddenly drew back his hand in pain. Her skin was like fire to the touch. He frowned and cast and weak ice spell on her. He held her in his arms and waited for her to come back to life. In a few minutes her breathing was quickening. She reached over and took his wrist and held it.

"I'm sorry, I'm so weak" She whispered, as she tightened her grip and began to draw the life out of him.

He blacked out.

* *

Rinoa was by herself in the kitchen when she found a dusty old cassette in the worn stereo. Turning the ancient artifact in her long fingers she realized that the tape was labeled "eyes on me."

Her mother's song. What a coincidence. As she placed it back in and pressed Play, the familiar cords of the piano erupted int the room. She smiled and hummed the song as she continued to do the dishes with newfound vigor. The haunted dusty room seemed less threatening as her mother's voice soared with emotion, telling her the familiar story of that last night.

She could still hear the lyrics faintly as she stepped into the bedroom. Her mother was still with her. Her words came all the way to her from the bottom of the sea across time. Her mother Julia whispering how she loved his peaceful eyes on her. Who was "he" exactly? She had always dreamed of some handsome dark stranger carrying a long sword perhaps, quiet and shy watching the lovely pianist from across the room. But now whenever she tried to see it in her mind she saw Squall, sitting in that bar.

Rinoa tiptoed into the room where Squall laid fast asleep. He was sleeping more calmly now that the nightmares had stopped festering him. She sat at the side of his bed and studied him. His damp brown hair laid flopped haphazardly on the pillow. His brows were knit even in sleep as though he was mad again. His breathing was heavy but it did not qualify as a snore. It was more like a small sigh, His ungloved hand laid on the pillow beside his cheek.

My last night here with you Squall is coming isn't it? She asked no one in particular.

And Garden, how worried he must be about Garden. Did they worry about him and her? But she was not worried about Garden, she had no doubt that Xu or Quistis could take over for a while he went on his prolonged "vacation." His leadership wasn't really vital in this time of peace anyway.

She studied his burnt hand and wondered what Alexandra had done to him to put him in such a state. Yet as she looked on at his sleeping posture, she knew then that she would never love another. That he was her final fantasy.

She yawned sloppily and curled up beside him on that bed. If Alex can do it why can't she? Anyway, it felt so warm so safe. With her cheek against his strong shoulder and her mother's haunting voice raising faintly still fromt he kitchen, she began to feel something close to happiness.

____________________________________________________________________

Author's note: notice Squall's dream. It is full of symbolism in it about Squall's reaction to what Raine told him in relation to his feelings about Rinoa. It is a very important harbinger of Squall's motivation for the rest of the story.

______________________________________________________________________

Chapter 15- War on Garden.

Jim Wallace stepped into the conference room to young freckle faced young man with reddish frizzy hair sitting there with two associates dressed in Neo Garden uniform.

The young man reached forward to shake his hand.

"Hello, General Wallace I presume. I'm Drew Gains, commander of Neo Garden."

Wallace nodded. He estimated the boy's age to be around seventeen. Maybe Caraway was right and they were really fighting a war against children.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Gains. May I ask about how many still remain under the command of Squall Leonhart?"

Gains grimaced, "enough to make this a war far from an easy win. But they can be taken down. They are weak disorganized and lacking in confidence. As you know the old commander, has went into a cowardly hiding place. He leaves his subordinates to fight the war for him."

Wallace contemplated what the boy had said.

"Deling has ordered me to find the sorceress and to punish the gardens for hiding her. You have agreed to aiding me, or so I've heard.

Drew nodded. "But I do have assurance of the safety of my people after Balamb is captured don't I?"

Wallace nodded. "You signed the treaty with Deling, Deling does not go back on his word. Is there anything else you would like to know?"

Drew shook his head, "no."

Wallace paused, wondering if he should open his mouth. Drew nodded looking like he was preparing to leave.

"Wait, Commander Gains, I was just wondering, what are the odds of Leonhart showing up during this war?"

Drew scowled. "Leonhart is gone. He won't show up. I can promise you that. He doesn't care, he never cared about anything but his own safety."

Wallace nodded. "All right, then farewell until victory is ours." Wallace reached over and shook Drew's hand.

* *

"Quistis, I've told the Junior classmen to take refuge in Balamb like you asked me," Selphie said to the blond haired instructor.

"And you, Zell?"

Zell shook his head. "They've landed on the beach. They are gathering their forces. Qusitis, they outnumber us four to one!"

Quistis nodded sadly. She looked at the rest of the room where there was a gathering of SeeDs. She knew then that she would need nothing short of a miracle to pull Garden through this war.

Irvine spoke up. " Trabia Garden has been detained by a thunderstorm. It looks like the storm is heading this way. We might have a chance to stall."

Nida stepped forward. "We recently received a message from General Wallace, Quistis. He said that he'll have mercy on us if we hand over the sorceress and commander Squall immediately."

Irvine chuckled bitterly. "Nida, tell him to shove that offer up where the sun don't shine."

Nida frowned. "Drew's garden is providing them with supplies and shelter. I don't think they are planing to prove any sort of aid in combat."

"Xu," Quistis said, "where is Xu? Is she with them too?'

"No," Selphie said. "I saw her this morning. She was a wreck. She took the chipmunk and went to Edea's house."

Quistis nodded. "Perhaps it is better that way."

"You are the temporary leader Quistis," Selphie said "uh-hmm until Squall comes back."

"You don't believe Squall will show up Selphie?" Quistis asked. "I have faith in Squall, despite all that has happened I still do. He has never let us down before, not until now."

"We can't talk about Squall right now, Quistis, we need to think about Galbadia." Zell said.

Quistis nodded thoughtfully. "All right, we need set up a defense. We are in the Garden, we have the advantage of fighting a defensive strategy. I want you to take out as many Galbadians as you can before the physical fighting begins, which means missiles and bombs. Once you see them appearing over the hills, use the firepower to weaken their attack forces. Meanwhile, Irvine, Zell, I want you to infiltrate Wallace's camp and find out as much as you can. If we are lucky, the thunderstorm will delay their attack. They are camped out on the beach, the storm will be far worse for them then for us."

The group in the room nodded or showed some form of assent. The meeting was dismissed and Zell and Irvine left in a hurry.

After half the room was gone, and the rest milling about aimlessly, Quistis turned to her right. "Joe, you were always my mentor when I was becoming a SeeD. Will you lead the attack at the Quad, while I lead those at the front gate?"

Joe nodded. "I expected that you would ask me that. All right, I'll be at the Quad. Take care of yourself Quistis."

Quistis nodded and saluted Peterson. "We'll make it right, Joe? Then we'll sit at the Garden Festival in a few months, with Squall and we'll all be laughing at this nonsense"

Joe laughed. "We will be laughing but not Squall, he'll probably be frowning in a less irritated manner."

Quistis nodded, "yeah, that's right. Take care of yourself."

* *

It has half past noon when the Galbadian soldiers appeared over the horizon. As they came in a dark mass like a cloud passing over the land. By air, by machine and by foot, they came. A mass of ants heading toward the large peppermint colored Garden that was surrounded by mountain.

The first Galbadian to fall was Vincent Vicks, he was picked off by a bullet and slumped to the ground dead. He had been a secret lover of a married women who was waiting for him in a small town near Deling. He would never return to her now.

The Galbadians pressed forward, losing men rapidly but it did not matter, there were far too many of them in number.

As they reached the entrance to Garden, the physical fighting began.

Quistis was in the thick of it, like some mad goddess, taking down men in a fury. The first one she killed was named Link Ocar, he had come from a tiny village to the south of Deling. He had been heralded as a hero for a long time. Sent off to war by his beloved sister Zeian, he died swiftly at a blow from Quistis' Save the Queen. He would be the hero of time no more.

Selphie made a path of bodies as well through the mass of indigo. She received a tiny nick on her shoulder from a Galbadian named Ash Kazama, in fury she attacked him with a meltdown spell. He collapsed easily. Nida cast curaga on her shoulder healing her completely.

She then went on to attack a burly man named Barret Lawrence. He went at her in a fury, shooting his bullets at her. Selphie ducked and from behind him, Quistis attacked him with a lightening spell. Meanwhile Ash's war buddy, Pikatle was tugging at his body, trying to prevent him from getting trampled. A student named Joe Leon took him down with a lightening spell.

Quistis glanced beside her at Selphie who was busy drawing from a foot soldier in front of her. A SeeD beside Quistis was having trouble with a Galbadian named Nanaki Cosmo. Quistis came to her aid by roughly slashing the Galbadian across the head with her Save the Queen. She then bent over and helped Fifi back to her feet.

"You all right?" Quistis asked as she drew a few Life spells from one of the Galbadians to her left.

Fifi nodded as she picked up her sword and cast a fire spell on a Galbadian who was sneaking up on Quistis. "Thanks Quisty, I'll watch your back, you watch mine."

Quistis continued to fight but as much as she was having success with the soldiers, the Galbadians were advancing. There was simply too many of them. She just hoped that Joe Peterson was having more luck in the Quad.

Five paces to the left of Quistis, a Garden student fell. He was from a town near the Cape of Good Hope. His parents had sent him to garden in the hopes that he would learn discipline and maturity. His mother had placed a piece of jade around his neck for good luck in battle. Now he feel swiftly from a gunshot wound to the stomach. A Galbadian soldier ripped the jade from his neck.

Across the battlefield a SeeD named Jane Heartlock impaled a Galbadian Lieutenant on her sword. She turned to see her friend, Cetri Earth having trouble with a Galbadian who had fallen from his chocobo. Jane came to her rescue and slashed the soldier across the neck, sending his blood squirting into the air, drenching those nearby as he hollered in pain.

Jane reached down to help Cetri to her feet.

She smiled at Jane sheepishly. "That was a close one, a second more and I would have needed a life spell."

Jane nodded, absently, sending a ice spell to a soldier that was advancing on them.

' " Stay close to me, Cetri, I'll watch out for you."

Cetri nodded, pushed her long brown hair back and pulled out her weapon, ready for battle. She absently checked the back of her head, to make sure that her pink ribbon had not fallen out of place.

Lindsey Meow, was a veteran of SeeD. She took down a few of the Galbadians beside her with her staff, She broke their ankles first then cracked open their heads. As she fought she absently glanced out of the corner of her eye, looking for her cowboy sniper. She had only seen him that morning, surely he was around here somewhere. A Galbadian tried to attack her from behind she sent her staff straight into his stomach. He fell down, having the wind knocked out of him. She raised her hand a drew a few tornado spells from him. Irvine, my dear, where are you?

Selphie growled as she began to feel tired and irritated from all the stinky Galbadian bodies she had to climb over to kill more of them. She had reached her limit.

"The End!" She cried out and took out a dozen or so Galbadians. Beside her, Nida whistled impressively.

"Do it again Selphie, you kick butt!" Nida yelled as he took down a Galbadian.

"We can't hold them much longer Quistis!!" One of the SeeDs cried out.

Quistis saw that he was right. She watched the mass of the dead under the dark cloudy sky. Bodies stretching across the landscape while rivers of blood ran between.

Quistis knew that if they fought any longer, the Galbadians would push into Garden. Slowly Garden was loosing the war, although each member took down a slew of Galbadians, there were simply too many of them. Squall, where are you? Quistis wondered. From the air, bombs began to fall from the Galbadian aircraft. The landscape exploded in red, taking out Galbadian and Garden alike. The sky was growing darker and darker as though some mysterious force in the sky was dreadfully angry that the petty humans had decided to wreck such havoc on each other.

Quistis, allowed her Save the Queen to dangle at her feet for a second and she stared absently at the mass of gore and knew that even if they won this battle they would lose the war. There was no way to stall it or to change that fate.

"Quistis watch out!!" Fifi yelled as she cast several thunder spells on the Galbadians that were advancing on Quistis. Being tripled Fifi easily protected the dazed Quistis from harm.

"We are going to lose," Quistis mumbled in awe. She was rudely broken out of her shock as cold droplets of water fell onto her tall blond head. It came slowly at first then started pouring down in buckets as thought the sky wanted to wash the land free of the bloody filth. Finally the sky began to rumble and lightening cracked open the heavens. Rain poured down from the sky onto Garden and Galbadian.

"Whoopee!" Selphie yelled as she saw the lightening strike the Galbadian in front of her.

The Galbadian general was ordering them to retreat as the lightening struck a few of the flying Galbadian airships. Faster than they had come, the Galbadians retreated over the hills, leaving the Garden members alone in the rain, scrambling back to Garden for shelter.

Across the field Jane Heartlock tried to shoulder her way through the mass of soldiers retreating. She searched for Cetri among the sea of men.

She twisted her neck around, scanning the horizon, while casting a few weak fire spells to take out a few more Galbadians and to light up the dark cloud covered landscape so that she could see.

"Cetri!" She called out, but caught sight the girl suddenly. That pink ribbon in her hair shown brightly against the mud she had fallen against. Jane ran over to where Cetri's body laid and held the girl's dead limp body in her lap. Cetri's eyes were blank, but still open, as though she had expected someone to save her.

"Jane!" a young SeeD cried as he came over to where she was kneeling.

He held out his long sword and defended her from the attack of the retreating Galbadian soldiers.

"Jane, forget her, we need to get inside."

Jane ignored him. She placed her hand over the wound in Cetri's stomach where she had been stabbed.

Finally the young SeeD got tired of being ignored. In a daring move, he reached down and scooped up Cetri's body and made a mad dodge for Garden with Jane following close behind. Selphie squealed as the rain began to fall, it drenched her hair and plastered it to her neck. Nida ran over, trying to cover his head with the back of his shirt.

"Come on Selphie, let's get inside. It's really coming down hard."

Selphie nodded, she looked over at the East searching for Quistis. She saw the many bodies that littered the ground and hoped that all her friends were okay. But before she could linger to see if she recognized any of the bodies, Nida grabbed her arm and began pulling her towards the Garden.

"Ouch! Hey I can walk," she yelled at him.

The Garden hallway was littered with the wounded as the students ran in. Some of them were bearing the bodies of their friends, unwilling to leave the bodies to be defiled by the storm. One of them was James Nibel who bore the body of Cetri, a student of garden. Her long brown hair was soggy and limp as James placed her on one of the benches. Jane walked over and sat beside her friend.

"Was she a good friend of yours?" James asked quietly.

Jane looked up at him, her long brown hair a terribly mess from the battle. She bore several shallow wounds on her arms but she appeared to be okay. One of the student helpers was handing out blankets. James took one and covered Jane with it.

"Why did you help me?" She asked him.

"I've been watching you for a long time Jane. For four years in fact, I've been watching you from afar. I was following you today in battle."

Jane nodded and turned her eyes back to Cetri.

"Thank you James."

As Quistis ran back into the Garden drenched. She looked around at the mass of injured. This was all her fault. She led them into battle. She heard the weeping and the moaning that came together in one terrible song of sorrow. It was for her, that song, dedicated to her and her stubborn pride. For a moment she regretted her decision. Was loyalty to one man worth the death of a thousand?

Quistis stood there as Selphie ran past her, hair no longer curling up. She was being dragged by Nida to one of the towel stations. Quistis did respond as Selphie waved to her.

"Hey, instructor Trepe, wake up!"

Quistis jumped slightly with shock as turned to see, Joe coming toward her. He held a towel in his hand which he handed to her for her to dry herself off with.

She took it slowly, moving a daze, and indifferently began to dry out her hair.

"Joe, I'm not so sure, anymore. Is it worth it? For Squall? All this?"

Joe shook his head. "No, Quistis, not you, I trained you to follow your decisions to the end. Don't back out on this. If you do then the students that died today, have died in vain. They died fighting for freedom, for garden, for pride not just for Squall. Squall is a good leader but even he cannot inspire such passion in his people. They fought this war for themselves Quistis, not simply for you."

Quistis nodded, significantly, comforted. "Joe, what will I do without you?"

He smiled. "We have work to do. They'll be back tomorrow."

She nodded as she watched Joe drying out his hair with a towel. He was drenched in rain and blood so much so that it was hard to tell which was which.

He smiled at her. "I'm glad you're safe. I was worried."

Quistis nodded, "But not for long. Tomorrow we might not have the advantage of a storm."

Joe nodded. "But you were right Quistis."

"About what?" She asked.

Joe gestured to the thunder storm. "We were saved by a squall."

Chapter 16 - Crossing the Stars.

Outside the window, Squall saw Alexandra waving to him. He frowned, wondering what she wanted. He slipped out of bed and reached for his jacket and shoes. His headache and vomiting had resided that morning, leaving him with just a slight dizziness. He stood up, taking a moment to glance at himself in the mirror. His hair was a fright. He had dark circles under his eyes and his lips were cracked. He frowned at himself and reached for a comb. He wasn't sure what would happen should he collapse out on the bluff somewhere. He looked like a living corpse.

He walked down the small flight of stairs, leaning against the banister, slightly, for support. He walked across the living room, a song was playing faintly. Some love song sung to a piano.

I never sang my songs on the stage . . on my own.

He frowned and pushed open the front door. The night air was cold and clear. He took a couple of deep breathes and began walking towards her. He say her standing there in the distance, walking toward the bluff slowly, so that he could follow. Why the bluffs? Why always the bluffs?

Was she bringing him to Raine again? After the price of the last experience he didn't believe that he wanted to go through it again.

However, regardless of his doubts he felt like he had to follow.

So he went after her, she always stayed a few paces away, sometimes waiting while he caught his breath. Walking was painful to him. And never in his life did his gunblade seem so heavy. As they reached the edge of the town, he leaned against a wall for support. He pressed his hand to his heart that was beating 200 miles a second. Never before did this walk seem so long and so painful.

After what seemed like an eternity later she stopped. She turned toward him and pointed to a small hill in the landscape was outlined by moonlight. She walked over and sat down, leaving room for him to sit beside her.

He walked over and collapsed beside her, catching his breath.

"Why did you bring me out here Alexandra?" He asked.

She watched the sky fondly. "No Squall, the question is why did you agree to follow?"

He frowned. "Don't talk to me in riddles. I know what you are insinuating."

She nodded. "Do you believe me now?"

"No," he said defiantly, "I never will."

She smiled at him. "You say that but you don't think it. I didn't bring you here tonight to talk about your feelings for Rinoa. I don't care really, she is nothing. I came to talk to you, about the stars."

He sighed. "What is there to talk about?" he asked gesturing toward the sky.

Alexandra watched the sky with longing in her eyes. She leaned back, supporting herself with her elbows. She bent her head back and closed her eyes. "Squall, your mother loves you. They don't come unless they do. You loved her as she did you, that's why I was able to bring her to you. "

He nodded. "Is that the criteria for your power?" he asked.

"A sorceress is born with the potential for many different breeds of power. Mine I've always used to lessen my loneliness. My mother never loved me Squall. She left me alone in her castle and told me to keep out of her sight. I had nothing but my toys to keep me company. When I was little I used to pretend that they were speaking to me, but one day they really started talking. My mother told me then that my powers will never be useful for anything. She told me that I was more useless than a human."

Alexandra paused watching the stars. She took a deep breath.

"I would have given anything to have her approval but I would always be the scrawny little rat to her. That led me deeper in my loneliness to develop my powers even more and to create bigger fantasies for myself. After . .after she passed away, I tried to call out to her. I tried to bring her back to talk to me, the way you talked to Raine."

Alex brushed her hair back away from her face and turned to him.

"But, but she never came. No matter how hard I cried for her to speak to me, she never did. That day, when you stood there before the tombstone, I could feel Raine's presence near you. When I called out to her, she came in a flash of a second. She wanted to be with you so badly. So badly. I guess such is a mother's love."

Squall heard she sniffing. She dragged her arm across her eyes. She look at him and the tears in her eyes sparkled in the moonlight. One slide down her cheek glittering like a glass diamond.

"I wish someone would love me, Squall, the way Raine loves you. I would give anything to have that, anything at all."

Squall shook his head at her. However she had penetrated his hard exterior. She was just a child, an orphan child. And he understood how she felt too perfectly. In an act that surprised even himself, he reached out and pulled her towards him. She folded her arms and leaned against him, squeezing a handful of his leather jacket in her clenched fist.

"Alexandra," Squall said emotionlessly. "Don't. You can't live in a universe of illusion. I know that because I too have tried. These dead that you talk to, they will never be the same as the living."

` Alexandra pulled out. She looked him in the face and leaned against his shoulder.

"Squall" she whispered in a hushed voice as though someone might overhear what they were saying. "Someone wise once told me that there is a way to bring the dead back to the world of the living. I've never tried but I know there is a way."

She glanced up at the nighttime sky. "Up there," she whispered. "They are all up there, the ones we loved and lost, beyond the planets and the stars, they are there. He told me that there is a river you need to cross guarded by eight huge gray dragons. Then there are eight lakes of fire and eight of ice. If you can cross over to the other side, you can bring back the one you seek but only if they are willing."

He frowned at her. "It's all myth, Alexandra. If it is true then how come you never seen anyone who came back from the dead? I never have. That's preposterous."

Alex spoke slowly and seriously. "It's true Squall, but they tests are too hard. No one has ever succeeded. No one made of flesh can pass those tests. The universe doesn't like it when people come back from the dead. When you die you are meant to stay that way."

Squall said nothing. "It's a horrible thought. That someone like Adel or Ultimecia could come back to life. You don't plan on going through those tests do you Alexandra?"

Alex pressed her cheek closer to Squall and spoke slowly, seriously. "I thought about trying, Squall. I thought long and hard about it. But even if I was willing, my mother, my mother won't be there, waiting for me. She doesn't love me. No one does. It have to be a mutual bond of love for it to work Squall."

Squall looked down at the dark haired girl lying in his lap.

"I'm sure someone out there loves you, Alex."

"You don't know that Squall."

"I do. . . I lo . .like you."

With that she stared at him first in shock then in happiness. A smile grew on her face.

"I knew you did. I knew it." She said and begun to laugh.

He pushed her away. "This was all a trick was it?" he asked in mocked anger and sincere irritation.

She giggled. "You are the first person to ever say that to me. I'm laughing because I'm so happy."

He shook his head. "I'm leaving."

She caught his hand suddenly. "Don't leave in anger, please."

He looked back her, down on her knees, looking up with the silver light glittering in her hair. He reached down and stroked her face.

"Destiny will never allow me to love you. Tragedy awaits those that cross the stars, Alex."

Chapter 17 - Redemption of a Warrior

Zell spat out a mouthful of Galbadian stew into the mud

"Gross!" He exclaimed to Irvine. "This tastes like chocobo dung."

Irvine nodded and scratched his neck where the horrible Galbadian uniform kept festering him. "It probably is chocobo dung. Now stop eating, we need to go do some serious spying."

Zell spat out some more of residue in his mouth. It had a coppery taste like rusted metal.

"How can we spy on anyone when the General has an airship parked fifty meters in the air?" Zell asked, vindictively.

Irvine shrugged. "Listen we need to find some information for Quistis. Garden needs our help, now can we get going?"

Zell shrugged. "Lead the way. But I'm not sprouting wings and flying to that airship."

Irvine chuckled. "Chicken wuss he muttered under his breath."

Irvine really hated wearing disguises, especially the disguise of a Galbadian soldier. Here he sat in the leaky tent cramped full of soldiers as the storm raged on outside. One of the soldiers beside him offered him some liquor they were passing around. Zell grimaced and stood up. Irvine looked at him strangely.

Don't attract any attention now,

However, the stench in the tent was horrible. It smelled of dried blood, sweat and urine. Zell didn't care about the thunderstorm that raged outside. Even getting burnt to a crisp by a lightening bolt was better then being in here. He walked outside, feeling the cold rain gathering on his helmet and shoulders. It was wonderfully refreshing for a second, after being in that hot stuffy room but soon he began to feel cold. No matter, he wasn't going back in there.

He walked up the muddy hill that overlooked the plains. He knew Balamb was in the distance. Balamb and all his friends that he had to save. He remembered his shy friend, Fifi, the girl who loved her pigtails. He smiled as he remembered her. Was she all right? He had asked Quistis to watch out for her today but Quistis had just ignored him. He hoped that Quistis kept his request in back of her mind somewhere because he did love her. Not perhaps, the dramatic way in which Squall loved his Rinoa. Zell knew he could never live up to that. He was no gloomy superhuman like Squall. He was just Zell, the flawed passionate Zell that lived an all too normal life. He ate hot dogs, punched air and loved Fifi. That was his life in a nutshell.

"Zell, do you realize that you are standing in the rain?" Irvine asked as he approached him.

Zell shrugged. "I'll take the rain any day over Galbadian slime."

Irvine nodded. "Thinking of lady Fifi Zell? Or of mistress hot dog?"

"I'm thinking about Squall and Rinoa."

"What about Squall and Rinoa?" Irvine asked.

"It just pisses me off that everyone is holding Squall and Rinoa responsible for not showing up to rescue them. What if Squall is the one that needs help? He's dealing with a freaking sorceress for Hyne's sake."

"You think Squall is in danger Zell?"

Zell looked down and shook his head. "Edea told me and Selphie that the sorceress would probably be using Squall as her puppet by now. Everyone at Garden is hoping that Squall will show up soon. I'm probably the only one that hopes that he won't. I'm afraid of what state he will be in when we see him next."

Irvine nodded sympathetically. He patted Zell on his shoulder. However the silence was interrupted as they heard voices behind them. It was a familiar voice.

"Quick, behind the bushes," Irvine hissed as he shoved Zell into the mud behind the shrubs.

"Hey watch out I'm covered in mu-"

Irvine rudely clamped his hand over Zell's mouth shutting him up for good.

"Seifer where are you going?" Fujin asked as the duo appeared in the clearing. Just like Irvine and Zell, the two were dressed in Galbadian uniforms. Seifer, was walking forward, disregarding the rain. He stepped over to the edge of the cliff and looked over the landscape.

"What is it Seifer? Was it what you heard outside of Wallace's office? About what they are going to do to garden tomorrow?"

Seifer paused and turned to her. "Fujin, I never told anyone this before. I hate Garden for denying me the chance to become a SeeD while they granted that it a wuss like Squall Leonhart, there is no doubt about that. But Garden has been my home for half of my life. I can't watch this."

Fujin stared at him, "I thought we were going to go fight the sorceress. What change is this Seifer? Are you dreaming of being a romantic hero again?"

Seifer looked at her fondly. "Raijin might betray me Fujin, but not you. You will help me tomorrow won't you?"

Fujin said nothing, finally she spoke. "I think you've lost sight of things again, Seifer. We can't go out of our way to fight the entire Galbadian army. We are going to get ourselves killed, this is utterly ridiculous."

Seifer sneered at her. "So you will leave me too Fujin? I will do it tomorrow, whether you help me or not."

"But why Seifer?" Fujin inquired desperately. "Do you think Garden will accept you as one of their own. Do you think they will forgive you for saving their petty lives? They won't. You are never going to get any recompensation for doing this. Don't do it, come back to Balamb City with me. We'll go and get drunk, like we used to."

Seifer shook his head, running his right hand through his short blond hair. "There is more to life then that Fujin. I don't think you understand me at all. When Wallace attacks garden at noon tomorrow, I'll penetrate his forces and catch him. Without his order, they can't send the missiles. I'll dispose of him, therefore sending the Galbadians into a confused mess. I led them once, I know how helpless they are without their leader. That will give the idiotic Garden punks enough of an advantage to take them out. I will save Garden, and I will get my redemption for my sins. Even if no one knows about it I will have my peace at last."

Fujin watched him with pain in her eyes. "This is one battle I don't think you can win Seifer. Don't sacrifice so much simply for the good of Garden. This is my last plea, please abandon this futile plan."

Seifer said nothing.

"It's been fun Fujin, while it lasted."

Fujin watched him, unbelievingly. She ran away with tears in her eye.

Seifer shrugged and turned is glaze back toward the direction of Garden. Then he turned and walked into the trees.

* *

It was midnight when Zell and Irvine made it back to Garden. Zell rushed into the former

master's office to find Quistis sitting there with Joe talking in low whispers with a map in front of them of tomorrow's strategy. Selphie was asleep in the corner with a blanket over her.

"Yo! Quistis!" Zell yelled as he ran into the room, skidding on the carpet.

Quistis stood up and nodded at Zell, then glanced at Irvine.

"Did you find anything?" She asked.

"Irvine!" Selphie yelled, suddenly wide away. She ran over and hugged Irvine.

"I was worried Irvy, did the evil Galbadians hurt you?"

"Hump," Zell said.

"Oh yeah hi Zell," Selphie said with a smile and small tap dance.

"Listen I really need to he-"Quistis began as Joe placed a hand on her to calm her.

"Zell, oh bad news." Selphie said. "Laguna called while you guys were gone. Maniac Athena was stolen! Can you believe it?"

Zell jumped in surprise."What? How? Who? Oh this is bad."

"What's Maniac Athena?" Irvine asked but was promptly ignored.

"Sir Laguna thinks that the Galbadians are behind it. He said that Mr. Odine is worried day and night about that weapon."

"Those Galbadians! Zell yelled furiously.

"What is going on?!" Irvine yelled.

This time he was listened to.

Selphie turned to him. "Maniac Athena is a powerful weapon that can allows the user to absorb the power of a sorceress and kill her. The Galbadians might be thinking about catching Rinoa and using it on her."

"What?!" Irvine asked, shocked.

"We need to get it!" Zell exclaimed. "Tomorrow, I bet that bastard Wallace knows where it is."

"Tell me, what do you know about Wallace, Zell." Quistis inquired loudly.

"It's something we overheard from Seifer," Irvine began.

"Here let me tell you the whole story," Zell interrupted.

* *

Wallace stood at the deck of his airship watching his army clash with the ones of Garden. Around him was his escort, about twenty or so smaller airships that would provide for his safety. The airships slowly sailed in a circle above the fighting men. The force field around them prevented any sort of bullet or firepower from hitting him. He stood there looking down at the bombs bursting in the green landscape. As arm, leg and limb went flying at each loud explosion of red.

As he watched his countrymen die, he felt little sadness, only triumph as the Galbadian army pushed forward deeper into Garden territory. He just wish that Caraway was here to watch this, the old Caraway who used to be his fishing partner. The one who used to laugh at all the many different ways to painfully kill those ignorant terrorists. But he had changed now. Perhaps it was Deling's fault, perhaps Almasy's or maybe Ultimecia's. It didn't matter. He had lost his friend.

Wallace glanced behind him at the many faceless guards that stood in the doorway. Seeing no response from them, he turned his eyes back to the battlefield. Yet suddenly his eyes lingered at terrace of Garden. There was a speck of blue there. He squinted, keeping his eyes on that blue figure. Was it a girl?

As the spaceship came slightly nearer, he was sure that it was a girl. A girl. Rinoa.

He turn and left the balcony.

"Prepare my private ship," He ordered one of the guards.

"General Wallace, is that wise?" Patricia asked him. She was Deling's watchdog. Wallace despised her and Deling's lack of trust in his judgment.

"I am the general here," Wallace stated. "You are here only to observe. Don't object to my commands."

She chuckled which infuriated Wallace all the more. He angrily left to the lower deck of the aircraft where he saw his private ship - Falcon, waiting for him. There was room for ten inside the compact sleek ship but he did not plan to bring many. He glanced over his shoulder and motioned for three of the guards to board the Falcon. He would have to kill them later, if it really was Rinoa that he was to rescue.

Wallace took the controls of the Falcon himself and took flight through the barrier over the noisy battlefield sky. He dipped low and came back up along the side of Garden. Their machine guns were too slow to hit the falcon with any sort of accuracy.

Little Rinoa, you owe your Uncle Wallace for this. In back of his mind he remembered her when she was four. Little chubby Rinoa sitting on his lap, bouncing up and down.

"Be gently, Rinoa," Julia had warned her. "Be gentle to Mr. Wallace."

He had laughed and hugged her then to his surprise, she bit him.

The Falcon was coming over the side of Garden now. The terrace would be in sight soon. This is for you Julia. For all your kindness to me after my wife died. I'm going to rescue your daughter from the clutches of these terrorists and bring her home.

The terrace was in sight now. Yet as he flew the falcon close he felt the steel blade of a knife at his throat.

"Almasy," he whispered. Yet he glanced over the terrace and with his last bit of resistance. It was a woman standing there, a women with one eye and gray hair, that stood on that terrace, watching and smiling, wearing Rinoa's clothes. She was the ugliest sight he had ever seen. And he knew then that he would never, for the rest of his lifetime, ever forget, that woman standing there, smirking at him.

"Land this ship, Wallace," Almasy ordered, he jerked his gunblade closer to Wallace's neck."Now!"

* *

Quistis stared at the giant ship that fell out of the sky. She jumped back, out of the corner of her eye she saw Zell shielding Fifi with his own body as he too stared at the airship curiously. Irvine rushed to her side as well, pointing his gun at the ship.

Then, to their surprise, Seifer Almasy stumbled out of the ship. His shoulder was a mess of bloody gore as he retreated from Wallace who stood there with his gun drawn.

"Almasy! Get up you dog before I shoot you like the beast you are," Wallace ordered, his voice booming so loud that some of the soldiers were shocked out of the fighting.

Seifer smirked at him. " You'll never destroy garden, Wallace, even if you were to kill me."

Wallace clicked off the safety valve of his gun.

"See you in he-" Seifer said but interrupted by a shot rang out then, so loudly and suddenly that the spectators did not realize that in fact there were two shots, not one.

Black blood dripped from Wallace's mouth and from the hole through his heart. His eyes rolled back and he fell. Onto his knees first and then face down into the mud.

Everyone looked to who had fired the shot, and there Irvine stood with fire in his eyes and smoke from his gun. And no one, not even Seifer, understood, why Irvine, had fired his gun, or why Seifer's words had touched him so.

Irvine turned and walked away, back into the depths of the fight, disappearing. The spectators left as well back to their fighting, except Quistis, who walked over to Seifer.

"So they were right, you did come back to help us."

Seifer smirked through his pain. "I didn't want to come back but I appear to have developed a condition called a conscience. I hope this malady will be passing soon."

Quistis shook her head and cast curaga on Seifer's shoulder.

"Get up," she told him. "You have your redemption, Seifer, your deed with not go unnoticed."

Meanwhile on the terrace, Fujin was watching Seifer being helped up by Quistis. Beside her, laid her sniper gun, which she had used to pick off Wallace.

She smiled.

The gullible Garden fools had fell for it.

Their plan had worked.

The sorceress was theirs.

__________________________________________________________________________

* Author's Note: In case you are confused, every moment in which Seifer and Fujin showed up in this chapter was a staged act, including the mock conversation they had in front of Zell and Irvine. If you read it carefully, you will see subtle signs that this would not be an actual conversation Seifer and Fujin could ever have.

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Chapter 18- One Girl's Love

The attic was covered with seventeen years worth of dust. Rinoa sat there looking out the single round window that graced the center of the attic. She kneeled there on the floor hugging herself, lost in deep thought.

In an act of habit, she reached up and put her hand around the two rings that hung at her neck. Yet today, she felt no reassurance from the double bands of white gold. She remembered back a few days ago when she was watching Irvine and Zell play triple triad in the Quad. How foreign that seemed as though it happened in a dream. Back then she had believed that standing beside Squall she can overtake any sort of danger. She had beaten the most powerful sorceress of all time beside her black knight. But now she knew what a fool she was. The worst dangers came not from the outside but from within. Squall had always carried within him a time bomb and all it took was one sorceress to light the fuse.

Alexandra. She was more evil than Ultimecia.

Rinoa stretched her legs and wrapped her arms around her knees, hugging them to her chest.

She heard footsteps on the stairs leading up the attic. She closed her eyes. She didn't want to see him, anyone but him. But of course, it was.

"What are you doing here Rinoa?"

Rinoa squeezed the double rings. Mother, give me strength.

She felt him coming closer.

"What's wrong Rinoa?"

He kneeled down beside her. She glanced at him, at his frown and at the dark slash between his eyebrows. In all of history, being cut across the forehead has been a symbol of wisdom, of intellectual ability and finally of godlike power. All the time she had known him, she had believed the second one the most. He was a cunning warrior, always a few steps ahead of the likes of Ultimecia. But now she was beginning to see that in fact, it was not the second, but the last that defined who he was.

He had such power over her that something as simple as her importance to him could be the definitive factor in whether she lived to see the next spring rainfall.

One person should not be able to weld such power. Power over a nation, power over her heart. Especially one who had such intellectual ability but no wisdom.

"What are thinking?" he asked her.

Rinoa bit her lip and remembered suddenly his response to the same question she had asked back in Deling.

***"What are thinking Squall?"

"I was thinking about how much I enjoy your company.".

"No, that's not it."***

She looked at him.

"About how much I enjoy being with you, Squall."

He was silent.

"About how I know you truly love me and that you would never lie to me. I know that although you never say it, that when I need you the most, you will come. That no other holds the place in your heart that I have."

She smiled sadly, "I know all of that even if you don't. Even if you have ceased to believe that what you felt for me was real. What does it matter what I feel, Squall? It is only one girl's love."

He said nothing and in doing so his silence said it all.

She fingered the ring around her neck.

"My mother sang a song once, Squall. It was the first song she ever sang, on the stage on her own."

Rinoa looked at him. He took his eyes off her and looked away with a faint degree of shame. Rinoa chuckled with a bit of irony.

"She called it 'eyes on me,' but she should have called it 'my eyes on you' because I know that even as I see your eyes watching me, you don't see me anymore."

She sighed.

"My last night with you had passed a long time ago. You're not here anymore. You are with her. Right now, across the oceans and deserts that separate us, I send you my love."

"Stop it Rinoa, I-"

"Squall," She interrupted. "Think carefully about what you choose to say, because I will believe every word of it, I always do, no matter how hard it is to."

He shook his head and looked at her.

"I've abused your love horribly Rinoa, and that is my confession. I can't ask for your forgiveness or for your affection. The truth is that the distance between us is too vast to cross. I'm standing here between two worlds. Alexandra's fantasy and your reality. I don't know which to choose. But you don't understand what I am saying do you?"

"Squall, I can never enter your internal world without being invited. I won't use my loneliness or my tragedy as an excuse to come in. I'm not Alexandra. If you ever want me to understand, it is not I that must change but you. And when you do, you will see that I am both fantasy and reality, child and adult, lover and friend. I will wait for you to come to that realization yourself, even if all existence turns to dust and time comes to an end first. I won't force you to love me. I want you to come willingly."

He was silent once more, lost in a reverie, seemingly.

"I can't Rinoa. You should stop, stop gracing me your love. I can't . ."

"I never stop loving someone, once I've begun. I want you to know, Squall, that if you want my life, I will give it to you, no matter how mislead I think you are. I will always stand by you. You see even more than I want to have you, I want the best for you. And if it is Alexandra that you have invited to dance beside you underneath the midnight moon, then I . . then I have no regrets."

With that Rinoa got up and ran out of the attic. She didn't look back to see if Squall's eyes were on her. Even if they were, it probably wasn't her that he was watching. The realization hit like a ton of bricks. He never loved her and worse yet now she knew that he never even wanted to love her.

She ran down past the bedroom and out the front door. She kept running, out of Winhill, over the bluffs, running and running watching the ground pass under her feet. She needed to get away from him. She ran even though she knew that she had no control over where she went. That she will be forced to live beside him, watching him love another woman, the woman that was inside her.

She collapsed somewhere on the bluffs, watching the blue grass wave in the wind. It was grassland surrounding her, petals flying in the breeze. She sat there and begun to cry. The landscape was a silent witness to her sorrow. It indifferently watched all the petty creatures that lived upon it live out their short lives. These beings made of flesh that strut and fretted away their short time on earth. They sing nothing but songs full of sound and fury, meaning nothing. And today the girl that kneeled there crying meant nothing. She was just another girl, another sad song. It was just the love of one girl.

Rinoa rubbed her eyes and hugged herself.

What was she going to do now? She couldn't return to Winhill, she could never return to Winhill. To see him, to see him lie to her over and over. Surely there was somewhere that she could go. Timber, Deling, Trabia, it didn't matter. As long as she was far far away from the town closest to hell.

"Stop crying, please." Rinoa suddenly heard someone whisper.

She jerked her head around trying to see who it was. When she saw no one she realized that the voice had come from within her. Alexandra.

"What do you want?" Rinoa asked, dragging her arm across her eyes. Yet she realized as she sat there wiping her eyes that the tears refused to reside. Sorrow gives birth to tears and sorrow, unlike energy, heat and matter, was not conserved. There was no set amount of sadness in the world and there was no bound to how much could be brought into existence. From that limitless bound of sorrow came her infinite river of tears. She knew then, that they would never stop flowing. That even if the water in her body were to drain away, the tears would never stop that from that moment on there will always be a part of her - crying.

"I want you to stop crying, Rinoa."

"Why should I. Do you understand my pain Alexandra? How can you understand such a thing. This is all a game to you, a fantasy game and we are your puppets. My life is your entertainment. What do you care if I cry?"

Alexandra was silent. The only sound was the whistle of the wind as it flew across the landscape blowing the petals and leaves into the sky. Rinoa's sobs grew into a tiny whimper. She wished that Alexandra would leave her alone, but even more so she wished that Alexandra would not force her to return to Winhill.

"Rinoa, get up," Alexandra finally said.

"Where are we going?" Rinoa asked as angrily as she could possibly sound despite her helplessness.

"To Deling City."

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*Author's Note: In Greek mythology Zeus was cut across the forehead to give birth to Athena. Therefore, in psychological terms, it is generally accepted that a slash across the forehead symbolizes wisdom, intellect and power. I don't make this up!

**Author's Note: Notice that Rinoa accuses Alex of playing with them as though their lives were a game. This could be interpreted as a parallel between our role as a player of FF8 and Alexandra's role in the story as a manipulator.

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