They came in as the grandfather clock was striking eleven to find their mother sitting in front of the fire. She had asked Jarrod and Audra to go upstairs, knowing her two sons would be upset and emotionally spent, unable to deal with anything more that evening. They tossed their coats on a chair, crossed the room and bent to kiss her cheek before sitting on the marble table shoulder to shoulder, black clad leg pressed against tan as they faced her.

"Are you all right?" The question was addressed to both of them. She could see they had been crying, blue eyes and hazel both bruised looking and filled with sadness.

They both shrugged and grimaced and Nick cleared his throat before answering, his voice rough and low. "We talked, about a lot of things. We've decided to just live each day as it comes." He glanced at Heath who nodded.

"We don't want to go around miserable, waiting for..." He waved his hand and left the words unsaid.

Heath reached out and picked up his mother's hand, "I want to go out and work every day just like I always have. I don't want to be treated like an invalid and have everyone coddling me. I ... I couldn't stand that Mother."

Her grey eyes filled with tears as she looked into the pleading blue eyes of her youngest son and nodded. She would do anything to make him happy... she loved him, he was her son and he so rarely asked for anything.

"All right Heath, if that's what you want. But I'm your mother so you'll have to put up with some coddling. That's what mother's do, it's our right."

He squeezed her hand and gave her a lop sided grin, "ok, but just a little, and I promise I'll stop when I'm tired and rest." He nudged Nick's arm and gave him a wink, "besides, I'll have brother Nick here watching over me like a hawk."

Nick picked up his mother's other hand and looked at her intently, "don't worry Mother, I won't let him over do it. He's my little brother and it's my job to look after him."

She reached out and cupped his weathered cheek, "you can't take this all on yourself Nick. We're a family, we're all in this together and we'll help each other, all right?"

He lowered his head and nodded, "we talked about Heath maybe backing off a bit so I'm gonna' tell the men in a couple of days." He glanced at Heath who nodded his head in agreement, "we figure they should know."

Trying to lighten the sombre mood, he flashed them a grin, "we can't have them thinkin' I'm lettin' my partner here slack off none, now can we?"

"No Nick, we can't have that." She looked at Heath and he winked as they both said it together, "THIS IS A WORKING RANCH!" They both laughed as Nick scowled at them.

Victoria knew they were both exhausted and hanging onto their emotions by a thread, so she sat back and changed the subject. "Heath, we were going to tell you tomorrow but now seems like a good time."

He raised an inquiring brow and she smiled at him and said, "Audra and Carl have decided to move their wedding date up and it will now be at the end of this month."

Heath started to protest, "Mother, I don't want them rushing the wedding on account of me."

Victoria caressed the back of his hand, "it's what she wants Heath, she wants her brother there."

Nick cleared his throat and added, "it's what we all want."

Heath smiled, "it's what I wanted too, I'll thank her in the mornin'." He stood up and slapped Nick on the back, "I'm about done in big brother, time to call it a night. You comin'?"

Nick stood up and stretched his back, eyeing the lines of tiredness around his brother's eyes. Heath wanted to live a normal life and he would abide by his wishes, to a certain extent.

"Yeah, we gotta' finish roundin' up them strays tomorrow. Then later, after you have a nap..."

"A NAP!"

"We'll head into town for that poker game at Harry's."

"A NAP!"

"Yeah, a nap. Now let's get goin', we gotta be up early." He bent and dropped a kiss on his mother's hair and Heath placed one on her cheek.

"Goodnight Mother."

"Goodnight boys."

She watched them as they strode out of the room and wearily climbed the staircase side by side, then went back to staring into the fire, looking for answers which weren't there.

Heath came down the back stairs earlier than usual the next morning to find Silas sitting at the kitchen table, his hands clutched around a bowl of eggs. He walked up behind him and laid a hand on the old servants shoulder before taking a seat beside him.

"Silas?"

The elderly black man stared straight ahead and spoke slowly, his voice filled with despair as Heath turned sideways to look at him.

"Mrs. Barkley says you gonna' die Mr.Heath. She say ya got somethin' wrong with yo' heart."

"That's right Silas."

"It ain't right Mr. Heath, y'all just a boy." His tone betrayed the anguish he was holding inside and he turned to look at the young man who had brought such joy to this house. "How this family gonna' go on without ya? Tell me that. An' what 'bout Mr. Nick? Why, this gonna' break his heart."

Heath's stomach twisted as he looked into the sad dark eyes, "I know Silas, but we can't pick when it's our time, ya know that." He shrugged, "it'll be like when my mama died. I missed her so much, I didn't think I'd be able to go on without her, but I did. And, after awhile, the pain got better until all I had were happy memories of her. I hope everyone will remember me with happiness, I don't want them to be sad when they think of me."

The dark eyes opened wide, "no one could ever think of y'all and be sad Mr. Heath. Ya brung such joy to this here house." He laid his hand on Heath's arm, "I'll miss ya Mr. Heath, and I'll be sho' and only think of ya with happiness."

The half grin Heath flashed him warmed the old man's heart.

"Thank you Silas."

"HEATH!"

The sound of spurs coming down the stairs had Silas squeezing Heath's arm and rising to pour their coffee as Nick reached the bottom step.

"There ya are. Why ya up so early?" He slapped his gloves and hat down on the table and eyed him closely. "Ya all right?"

"I'm fine Nick, just wanted to talk to Silas for a minute."

"Oh."

Silas brought the two cups over and set them down, "y'all sit down, I'll have yo' breakfast ready in a few minutes, Mr. Nick."

"Thanks Silas, I'm hungry as a bear." He looked at Heath and made a motion with his head to indicate Silas who had turned away and was breaking eggs into a skillet. He silently mouthed the words, 'does he know?'

Heath gave an affirmative nod as he picked up his cup and sipped the fragrant brew.

Jarrod stopped at the partially open door to Nick's room late that night and sighed as he watched them sprawled across the bed, adding their poker winnings to the amount they had dumped out of the sock. Maybe their way is best he thought, just go on as before and be glad for every day you're given. He watched the two for a moment longer, dark head and blond bent close together as they counted their money and bantered back and forth about what they would spend it on. He closed the door quietly and made his way to his room with a heavy heart.

The men were all sitting around the bunkhouse after supper Sunday night, playing cards or talking when the three brothers came in and said they wanted to speak to them.

Heath singled out Billy and jerked his chin at the door, "Billy, come with me, I want to talk to you in private."

The youngster looked at his friend with worried eyes, and thought, 'have I done somethin' wrong? Why does Heath want to talk to me alone instead of with the other hands?' He put on his coat and hat and followed Heath out the door and over to the barn.

The men all looked at each other as Jarrod crossed his arms and leaned against the big table in the middle of the room. Nick sat on it, put his feet on the seat of a chair and rested his forearms on his thighs, his black hat hiding his face as he stared at the floor.

Jarrod nodded at the men and said, "everyone take a seat, Nick and I have something to tell you."

Eyes darted around the room as the men took seats on bunks and chairs knowing it must be something important because Jarrod rarely came out to the bunkhouse. He left the running of the ranch and the handling of the men strictly to Nick and Heath.

Nick waited until everyone was settled then cleared his throat and raised his head to look at them, "we've got somethin' to tell ya and it won't be easy." He cleared his throat again, "when Heath got trampled by them horses, it did more damage than we first thought."

A murmur started amongst the men and Jarrod raised a hand to quiet them.

Nicks hands spread in a helpless gesture, "it damaged his heart." His deep voice was getting rougher as his throat started to close up and the men all looked at him wordlessly, hoping he wasn't saying what they thought he was saying. Jarrod gripped his shoulder and Nick dropped his head to stare at the floor, his fingers laced tightly together to still their shaking as he tried to go on, "and ... and Doc Merar says he's gonna'... he's gonna' ..."

His voice broke and he jumped off the table and strode to the door, yanking it open and slamming it closed as he went out.The men all looked at Jarrod, none of them capable of saying a word until old Charlie got up and came forward.

"Mr. Barkley, was Nick tryin' to tell us Heath is gonna' die?"

Jarrod heaved a sigh and nodded, "I'm afraid so Charlie. Dr. Merar isn't sure how long he has but it could happen anytime and we thought you men should know."

"But how can that be, Heath's as strong as a bull. He can out work any of us." The men all nodded in agreement, none of them willing to believe what they were hearing. "Why just the other day he was throwin' around hundred pound sacks of feed like they was feathers. He can't be sick."

Jarrod shook his head and tried to explain, "he's not sick Charlie, his heart has been damaged. He'll be as strong as he ever was right up until the end. He'll just get tired more quickly and that's why we wanted you men to know what's going on. Heath doesn't want anyone's pity and he won't put up with being molly-coddled, but we want you all to help us keep an eye on him. Don't let him work too hard. Make him stop when you see him getting tired. He wants to keep working and Doctor Merar doesn't think it will hurt him, as a matter of fact it'll be good for him. It'll help keep him strong, maybe give him more time. We just don't want him to over do it to the point where he's exhausted."

His gaze took in everyone in the room, "as you saw, Nick isn't handling this very well and you've all been with us long enough to know what happens when Nick is upset about something." The men all grimaced and nodded, Nick's temper was legendary and no one wanted to be on the receiving end of it if they could help it.

"All right then, you know what to expect. His temper is going to flare up for no reason and he'll spend a lot of time hollering and yelling." They nodded again, "I'm asking you to be patient with him because as much he's losing his brother, he's also losing his best friend and partner."

Heath walked into the barn and sat down on a bale of straw, motioning Billy to take a seat opposite him. He pushed his hat back a bit as he tried to find a way to start.

Billy took his off and crushed the brim as his green eyes looked at Heath worriedly, "have I done somethin' wrong Heath? 'Cause if I have, ya just tell me and I'll fix it."

Heath waved his hand and shook his head, "ya ain't done nothin' wrong Billy, I just have somethin' to tell ya and I want ya to listen to me carefully before ya say anything."

Jarrod had left the bunkhouse and was crossing the corral in front of the barn when the door burst open and Billy came racing out and sped past him. Heath came over to stand next to him, hands in his front pockets, hat pulled low as he looked at the ground and scuffed his boot in the dirt.

Jarrod eyed his brothers slumped shoulders and said, "I take it that didn't go very well?"

Heath shrugged and muttered, "ya could say that, he's blamin' himself and I can't make him see it was an accident."

"You can talk to him again in the morning, maybe he'll be ready to listen then." He slapped him on the arm and tilted his head to look under the Stetson, "I don't know about you, but after this night I'm more than ready for a drink!"

Heath lifted his head and gave him a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, "yeah, me too."

Monday morning saw a sombre group of ranch hands gathered in front of the bunkhouse as Nick and Heath gave out the work assignments. Charlie came out of the barn and stepped up onto the porch next to Heath.

"Heath, Billy's gone."

"What do ya mean gone?"

Nick planted his fists on his hips and demanded, "GONE WHERE?"

Charlie shook his head, "don't know Nick. He musta' left during the night, bed hasn't been slept in and his horse and gear are gone. All he left was that fishin' rod ya gave him Heath, it was layin' on his bunk."

Heath stepped off the porch and headed for the barn with purposeful strides and Nick hurried to catch up to him. "Where ya goin' Heath?"

He stopped and gave Nick a look that dared him to interfere, "I'm gonna' find him and bring him back."

"All right, all right, but I'm goin' with ya."

"Fine."

They rode into Stockton and began their search at the shack on the edge of town. One look inside showed them old man Watkin's passed out drunk across the bed and no sign that Billy had even been there. They went to the livery stable and found Mac in the end stall and when Heath asked Jeb when Billy had come in, he said he hadn't seen him. He told them Mac was there when he came in that morning and there was a dollar for his board tacked to the partition.

They checked every store and were about to give up when they spotted him crossing the street

"Billy!" They dodged a loaded wagon as they ran across the street calling his name. He was about to slip down an alley when a strong hand grabbed his upper arm and jerked him to a halt.

Heath pulled him around to face him as Nick stood there, thumbs hooked in his gunbelt, a scowl on his face.

"Billy." Heath tightened his hold as the boy jerked his arm and tried to pull away. "Billy, I want to talk to you. Now how about we get Mac and go back to the ranch.?"

The young man jerked his arm again and kept his head down, "let go of me," he spit out in a low voice.

Nick made a disgusted sound and came over to stand beside Heath, "now you listen to us boy, you go get your horse and ..."

His words were cut off as Billy lifted his head, stared at Heath and enunciated each word slowly through clenched teeth. "Take your hands off me ... NOW!"

Heath's hand dropped and his stomach twisted as he looked into the green eyes staring back at him. Where once they had been sparkling with life, now they were just cold and empty, devoid of feeling.

He couldn't give up, he had to try again. "Billy, just let me talk to you."

"We got nuthin' to talk about, now leave me be." His thin shoulders hunched forward and he turned away, "I don't ever want to see ya again, ya hear?"

He started to walk away then paused for a moment and looked over his shoulder. Heath's stomach twisted again as the green eyes touched his. For a brief moment all the blame and regret Billy now carried with him was there for Heath to see before the cold, closed look once again hardened his features.

"I'm sorry I ever met ya."

He started across the street, away from this man who had meant so much to him, who had taken a chance on him when no one else would and now was going to die because of him.

Heath was about to go after him when Nick grabbed his arm and stopped him. "Let him go Heath, there's nuthin' ya can do. Just give him some time, maybe he'll come around."

Heath's shoulders slumped as he watched the boy who reminded him so much of himself at that age, cross the street and disappear around a corner. "No he won't." He stepped off the sidewalk with a sigh, "let's go home Nick."

....Continued