Heath was feeling better the next morning and was up early to go into town with Nick and pick up supplies. They got what they needed and headed for home but, as they reached the fork in the road that would take them there, Heath started down the other way.

"Where ya goin' Heath?"

He flicked the lines to move the team into a slow gallop and gave a careless shrug. "Oh Jarrod asked me yesterday to drop some papers off for Mrs. Johnson to sign on our way home and see if she needed anything."

Nick scowled and shifted uncomfortably, "why didn't ya tell me that before we left? I woulda' stayed home and got Charlie to go with ya."

Heath eyed him and raised an eyebrow, "what difference does it make Nick, you got some reason you don't wanta' see her?"

Nick turned his head and watched the passing landscape and tried to squash the way his stomach turned over when he realized he'd be seeing her again.

"No, no, I got no reason I don't wanta' see her."

"Good."

They covered the remaining distance in silence and Heath smiled to himself, 'yep ol' Nick isn't as over her as he thought, so I'll just help him along to see that.'

Nick's mind was replaying the time he had spent with Layle, helping her fix the house, the moonlight supper, holding hands and talking and the joy on her face when he gave her the pup. He had fallen in love with her almost from the first time he had seen her in town. Then he had found out she was married. He hardened his heart as they approached the small farm, maybe she wasn't as young and pretty as he remembered her. Maybe she had gotten old and worn out following her bounty hunter husband from place to place. Yep, I can see her again and not feel a thing for her, that's all in the past.

Heath pulled up in front of the well kept little house and jumped down as Nick stayed where he was staring straight ahead. The door opened and Layle came down the path. She was careful not to look at the man sitting stiffly on the wagon seat as she held out her hand to the handsome young man in front of her. He tipped his hat, took her hand in his large one and shook it gently as she greeted him.

"Hello, you must be Jarrod's younger brother Heath. He said you'd be coming by sometime this week to see what repairs need to be done on the house." She smiled up at him as he let go of her hand, "I didn't get to meet you last time I was here, but he described you perfectly."

Heath tilted his head and gave her a lop-sided grin. "He tell ya to look for a dusty, dirty ol' cowboy did he?"

Her musical laugh had Nick whipping his head around to watch her smiling at his brother. She was as beautiful as ever, more so even. Her blond hair was loose around her shoulders and the smiling eyes were as blue as the sky. His heart gave a queer little lurch of feeling and he stamped it down ruthlessly.

"No, he said to watch for a big, tall, strapping young man with eyes of blue and a smile that could make a woman swoon. As I said, he described you perfectly."

Heath blushed furiously and waved his arm at the wagon, "you remember my brother Nick, Mrs. Johnson?"

Her smile faded and she nodded to the man scowling down at her. "Nick, it's good to see you again."

He just nodded back and answered shortly, "Mrs. Johnson."

Heath wanted to go over and strangle his pig-headed brother for the coldness in his tone but instead he pulled the papers out of his jacket and held them out to her.

"Jarrod needs you to fill these out and return them as soon as you can Mrs. Johnson. He said to see if ya needed anything too."

She laid a hand on his arm as she took the papers, "call me Layle, and why don't you come in and have a cup of coffee. I'll fill them out right away and you can take them with you, if that's all right?"

"That'll be fine Layle." She nodded and turned to go back to the house.

Heath rested his hands on his gunbelt and jerked his head at Nick, "c'mon Nick, let's go in and get a cup of coffee while we wait."

He stared at him with narrowed eyes until his brother finally climbed down with a growl and started to follow them to the house. A whirlwind of black and white came racing around the corner and launched itself at the unsuspecting cowboy. Nick stumbled back and wrestled with the animal before Layle finally put a halt to the match by shouting in a scolding tone.

"Lance! That's enough, get down now you bad boy."

The dog left Nick and threw himself at Heath next, another tussle ensued and Layle threw her hands up and went into the house thinking, 'boys and their dogs!'

Nick and Heath gave him a final pat and he was off again chasing rabbits or anything else that dared to move. They went into the house and had coffee while Layle filled out the papers. Nick didn't have much to say as she and Heath talked about a variety of subjects. Heath had always been very observant though and he saw how Nick's eyes followed her as she moved around the room and his face flushed every time she looked his way. As they were leaving, Heath told her he'd be by the next day to replace all the missing and broken shingles on her roof and fix a few other minor problems he had noticed. Nick just nodded and muttered goodbye.

Heath was out loading shingles into the wagon the next morning when Nick appeared at the barn door and stood watching him silently. 'This is just great', he thought, 'Heath is goin' over there alone to fix that roof when I don't want him working so hard and what if something happens? Who's gonna' help him if I'm not there? Darn him anyways, why's he always gotta be helping folks'? He heaved an irritated sigh and yanked the last bundle of shingles from his brothers hands and threw them in the back of the wagon before climbing up and settling on the seat.

Heath pushed his hat back a bit and rested his hands on his hips as he looked up at him. "What'cha doin' Nick?"

"I'm goin' with ya, what's it look like?"

"But I thought ya didn't want to go there again - least that's what ya said yesterday on the way home."

Nick scowled down at him and tried to think of a good reason why he was going. "Yeah, but it's my job to look after ya Heath, and I can't do that if you're there and I'm here, now can I?" He thought that excuse sounded plausible and, for the most part, it WAS the reason he was going.

Heath pulled his hat back down to hide his grin, "nope, that would make it a might hard I reckon." He climbed up beside Nick and picked up the lines, "well let's go then."

As they got under way Heath let out a whistle and gave Nick a wink, "boy howdy Nick, it sure is a pleasure to be goin' to see a fine lookin' woman like Layle instead of all them dusty cowhands out on the range."

Nick narrowed his eyes at him and growled, "you just keep your eyes to yourself Heath. Ya don't need to be lookin' at anyone. We're goin' there to fix her roof, then we're leavin', understand?"

"Gotcha' Nick, fix the roof, then leave."

Heath shrugged after a moment, "can I have a cup of coffee and piece of apple pie before we go? Layle said she was gonna' make me a pie today." He glanced at the storm cloud he was creating beside him, "just as a thank you for fixin' her roof is all."

Nick gave in with ill grace, "ya can have your pie, but then we're leavin'. We've got enough work of our own to do, we got no call to be helpin' everyone who comes along."

Heath figured he'd push a little more, "maybe I'll ask her if she'd like to go to the dance in town with me Friday night."

"SHUT UP HEATH!!" Heath was sure he heard a thunderclap as Nick glared at him.

"Or maybe I won't."

They arrived at the small farm shortly after eight and, after a wave in greeting to Layle as she stood in the doorway, they set immediately to work on the roof. They got most of the repairs done before Nick called a halt around eleven when he saw Heath was starting to get tired.

"We can finish this tomorrow Heath, it's time we were gettin' home anyways."

He waited for the argument he was sure Heath was going to give him, but none came. After washing up at the trough, they went to the house and knocked on the door to tell Layle they would be back the next day to finish. She pulled the door wide and invited them in with a wave of her hand.

"I made you that apple pie I promised you yesterday Heath and there's fresh coffee on if you'd like to come in."

When Nick started to tell her they had to be getting home, Heath shouldered him aside and took a seat at the table where a freshly baked apple pie resided.

"Layle made me an apple pie Nick and I intend to have some. If ya don't want your share, I'll eat that too."

One glance at the stubborn look on his brother's face had Nick heaving a sigh and joining him at the table. Layle smiled and put a large wedge of pie and a cup of coffee in front of both men. As he picked up the steaming cup, Nick tried his best not to watch her, tried not to remember how good she felt in his arms, how sweet she smelled. He had to get out of there. Heath ate the last bite of his pie and was about to ask for more coffee when Nick jumped to his feet.

"Let's go Heath."

He snatched his hat off the chair beside him and tugged it down low as he made his way to the door and jerked it open. Lance was sitting on the stoop and capered beside him all the way to the wagon trying to get him to play. Nick ignored him and climbed onto the seat with a grumble as Heath came out and walked with Layle to the gate.

He stopped out of earshot of his brother and looked down at her. "Do ya still care for him Layle? I don't want to see him hurt again." He was relieved when she gave a small nod and smiled at him.

"I love him Heath, I always did." She spread her hands in a helpless gesture, "things just got out of control so fast and I didn't know how to fix them. I can't blame him if he never forgives me."

He bent down and dropped a kiss on her cheek as he whispered in her ear, "it'll be all right, don't ya worry now. I know how to handle my big brother."

Lance came over and sat beside them, tongue lolling as he looked up at Heath hopefully. He wrestled with the dog for a minute before waving goodbye and taking his spot beside his scowling brother.

"We'll see ya tomorrow Layle, so save me a piece of that pie."

"I will Heath. Goodbye you two." She was hurt when Nick didn't even look at her or say goodbye. Heath just shook his head and gave her a wink.

Nick was in a bad mood all the way home. He had felt an irrational stab of jealousy when Heath had kissed her and she had smiled at him. He told himself quite firmly that it wasn't because he wanted to kiss her himself and have her smile at him. No, that wasn't it at all. He pulled his hat lower and scowled as Heath settled beside him. Heath decided he'd let him be for now. He could see Nick still cared for Layle but he was just so stubborn and pig-headed that he had to figure it out for himself.

Heath had a little chat with his mother later that night and went to his room whistling a happy tune as Nick passed him on the stairs and gave him a suspicious look.

The front door banged shut as Nick crossed the foyer and looked around impatiently.

"HEATH??...HEATH??"

Heath came down the stairs buttoning the cuffs on a clean shirt and he shook his head at the frown on his brothers face. "What are ya yelling about Nick?"

Nick made a disgusted sound, "I've been lookin' all over for ya, where ya been?" He didn't give him time to answer as he waved his hand towards the door, "let's get goin', I wanta' get that roof finished today and get back to the branding. We shouda' been done by now."

Heath picked up his gunbelt from the table and started to put it on, "I'm not goin' Nick."

"What do ya mean, you're not goin'?"

Victoria came down the stairs and stopped in front of her glowering son, "I asked Heath to drive me into town today, so you'll have to go over to Mrs. Johnson's alone Nick."

Nick's waved his hand towards the kitchen, "get Silas to take ya Mother, I need Heath's help today."

She pulled on her gloves as he frowned at her, "you can manage on your own and I want to spend some time with my son." She stared at him, "or do you have a problem with that Nicholas?"

His eyes dropped to the floor at the mild reprimand. "No Mother."

"Good." She raised an eyebrow at him as he threw a pleading look at Heath, "hadn't you better be on your way then?"

His shoulders slumped and he nodded in resignation and went out the door.

Heath put his arm around his mother and dropped a kiss on her hair, "he doesn't look too happy Mother."

Victoria rubbed his shoulder and smiled, "your brother is so stubborn, he just needs a little help to find his way sometimes. It'll work out, don't worry. He wouldn't be so reluctant to go if he didn't still care."

She picked up his jacket from the marble table and handed it to him, "well, we told him we were going into town, so that's exactly what I think we should do. We can pick up Audra and maybe get Jarrod to take us to lunch. What do you think Heath?"

He put on his hat and offered her his arm, "I think that's a mighty fine idea Mother, we wouldn't want to lie to him, now would we?"

Layle came out as Nick rode up and dismounted in front of the house. He tied his horse to the hitching post before going around, yanking his saddlebags off and throwing them over his shoulder.

"Hello Nick." She leaned on the gate and looked down the road, "where's Heath today?"

His reply was short and brusque, "he's spending the day with our mother."

He turned from her and strode angrily to the back of the house before she could say anything in response and she sighed in regret and went back inside, knowing now that he had no intention of ever forgiving her.

Nick finished up the roof just after noon and came to the door to tell her he was done and would be on his way now. She pushed a wisp of blond hair behind her ear and his eyes followed the movement as he told himself to turn around, get on his horse and leave quickly.

"You look cold and I just made fresh coffee if you'd like to warm up before you leave?" Her blue eyes looked at him hopefully and he couldn't say no.

He took off his hat and frowned at her as he came in and shut the door. "All right, one cup then I gotta' get back."

He threw his hat and gloves on the table and watched her go over to the stove to fetch the pot. She was nervous knowing he was watching her and her hand shook as she reached for the coffeepot. The towel she was using to pick it up slipped, and her fingers touched the hot metal.

"Owwww..." She sucked in her breath shook her stinging hand as tears came to her eyes.

Nick was across the room in three strides to turn her around and pick up her hand to assess the burn. He didn't know why, but as he lifted her small hand and saw the angry red fingertips, it seemed the most natural thing in the world to lift them to his mouth and suck on them to take away the sting. She stared at the sight of her fingers in his mouth before she looked up and caught her breath at the look in his hazel eyes. He let go of her hand and she dropped it to rest against his chest as he pushed the loose wisp of blond hair back then cupped her face and rubbed his thumb over her soft cheek.

"Layle."

He couldn't help himself and his voice came out in a groan as he wrapped his arms around her waist and gathered her to him. Her arms crept up around his neck as his lips met hers and he plundered their sweet softness, drinking in her tiny mewls of pleasure as his hands caressed her back and her fingers twined in his hair. He tore his mouth away after a moment and shook his head as he took a heaving breath and laid his forehead against hers.

"I can't do this ... not now."

She felt sick. He didn't want her, he was just punishing her for what happened before. She tried to break away from the arms that were still around her, holding her to him. "Let me go Nick, I won't let you use me."

He tightened his hold and waited until she looked up at him, her blue eyes full of tears. "Listen to me Layle."

She shook her head and pushed against his unyielding chest."No."

He reached up to wipe away a stray tear with his thumb, "listen to me...please?"

She stopped struggling at the pleading tone in his voice and searched his eyes. He took a shuddering breath and kissed her again gently. "I love you Layle. I did right from the first time I saw ya and I never stopped."

She stared at him intently, she had heard the 'but' on the end of his sentence. "I love you too Nick, but I couldn't be with you then, don't you understand?"

He crushed her to him before pulling back and taking her hands in his. "I know that, and I understood it then too." He shrugged and took a deep breath, "now I need you to understand why I can't be with you now, why I might not be back for a long time - maybe never."

Nick knew he was going to need a long time to heal, knew he was going to be plunged into a dark hell soon. He remembered what he was like after his father died and knew this time would be much worse. The black moods, raging temper, the need to be alone and hopefully find himself again. He had done it once but it had taken a long time and he didn't know if he could do it again. He wasn't sure if he even wanted to try. He had been twenty-two then, with a huge ranch and endless responsibilities suddenly thrust upon his shoulders. He had had no choice but to eventually pull himself together and go on with his life. Now he was nearly thirty-three and all the joy and happiness he had finally found in work and play with Heath by his side was about to be cruelly snatched away from him by the hand of fate.

His father had been his idol, but Heath ... Heath was his heart and soul and life without him seemed to stretch before him like an endless, empty black hole. He could see the confusion in her eyes, he had just said he loved her but couldn't be with her.

"I don't understand Nick."

He squeezed her hands and tried to explain. "Layle, right now I need to be with Heath. All the love I have, I need to give to him." His voice was becoming rough and low as he thought about what was to come and his throat constricted. "I need to be with him every minute I can before he's gone." He took a deep breath and shrugged, "I just can't handle anything else right now."

Her heart dropped at his words and she asked the question she was afraid she already knew the answer to, "what are you talking about Nick?"

He told her and she held him tightly and grieved for the big, tough cowboy in her arms and the handsome young man with the laughing blue eyes and lop-sided grin who had brought them back together.

It was late afternoon when Nick rode up to the barn to find Heath leaning against the door watching for him. He dismounted and walked over as his brother came to meet him., a wary look in his eyes. Nick scowled as he stopped in front of him and planted his fists on his hips.

"Layle sent ya pie."

Heath jammed his fingers into his back pockets and nodded. "That was nice of her." Heath knew pie wasn't what Nick wanted to talk about.

Nick waved his hand at him and stated, "you set this whole thing up, didn't ya Heath?"

Heath just gave him a defiant look and said nothing. Nick already knew the answer though, Layle had told him as much as they talked the afternoon away. All of a sudden the pure goodness of what his brother had tried to do brought a lump to his throat and Nick didn't care that some of the hands were standing on the porch of the bunkhouse looking their way. He no longer cared what anyone thought about tough Nick Barkley showing emotion. He grabbed his brother by the shoulder and pulled him into a crushing hug that Heath returned wholeheartedly. The men, far from thinking Nick soft, turned away to allow the brother's their moment of privacy. They knew how close the two were and would never think of teasing either one about their open display of affection. In their minds, it was almost like they were losing a brother themselves or, at the very least, a good friend.

Nick pulled back and gave Heath a smile that cut deep grooves in his rugged cheeks and he squeezed his brother's arms. "Thanks little brother."

Heath reached out, gripped the back of Nick's neck and gave it the little shake that had become so familiar. "I can't stand the thought of ya bein' alone." Blue eyes held hazel seriously, "you're a good man Nick, you deserve more than that, you deserve to be loved, and she does love ya." He gave him another little shake before dropping his hand, "don't let her go."

Nick reached out and slapped him on the arm, "don't worry Heath, I don't intend to." He looked down at the ground and scuffed his boot in the dirt, "I just need time though, and Layle understands that so she's goin' to live with her sister in Dallas for awhile."

Heath didn't need to know that Nick had asked her to go. She had come back to see if he still cared for her and now he was sending her away with no guarantee that they would ever see each other again. He knew he couldn't give his whole heart to someone again, part of it would always belong to Heath and he wasn't sure he could ask her to settle for less than everything. She had said she would wait for as long as it took and take what he could give.

Heath started to protest, "Nick, don't..."

Nick looked up and shook his head, "no Heath, no. I'm not gonna' argue with ya. This is where I wanta' be, right here, right now. Nowhere else. Do ya understand?"

Heath's heart swelled with love for this man most people thought of as rough, tough and unfeeling. Heath knew better. Beneath that loud, tough exterior, his brother had a kind and loving heart that was easily hurt.

He gave a sharp nod, "all right Nick, all right, I understand. But life is short, and I don't wanta' see ya waste it." His blue eyes were filled with worry, "promise me ya won't waste it Nick."

Nick pulled him into another hug as he gruffed out a promise he wasn't sure he could keep."I promise Heath."

They tightened their hold for a moment before breaking apart and Heath nodded then tilted his head as he looked at him expectantly. "Soooo ... where's my pie Nick?"

Nick went to his horse and opened the saddlebags he'd used to carry tools in to fix the roof. He pulled out a cloth wrapped bundle, walked over and handed it to his brother. "There's your pie Heath, enjoy."

Heath opened the cloth and rolled his eyes. Between the ride home and being shoved in with the tools, what had once been a lovely piece of apple pie, was now a more than slightly the worse for wear mess of squashed fruit and crust. He shook his head and wrapped the poor thing back up as he gave his brother a dirty look.

"Thanks Nick."

The sarcastic tone was lost on him as Nick picked up his reins and pulled his grey mare forward, "you're welcome Heath, now let's finish here and get cleaned up for supper. I'm starvin'!"

They headed for the barn side by side and Nick threw his arm over Heath's shoulder and laughed loudly at Heath's suggestion that he would be willing to trade his apple pie for Nick's dessert that night.

Their mother watched them from the dining room window and thought, 'they're so different my sons, in looks and personality. One is so dark and brooding, the other so fair and bright'. Oh, she knew they both had a bit of the other's traits in them, but for the most part, that's who they were. Almost complete opposites - but somehow...somehow they had accepted those differences and made it work. She smiled sadly when Nick playfully tipped Heath's hat over his eyes and pulled him close. She would miss that sight most of all, the loving easy camaraderie of her two sons, talking, laughing and working as they went through life together. As they disappeared inside the barn, she knew with a sudden clarity that they wouldn't be together much longer.

Her hand went to her mouth to stifle the sobs that threatened to overcome her as her thoughts went back to the ride home from town after they had dropped Audra off at her place. Heath had driven the buggy up to Lookout Peak saying it was such a fine spring day that he thought it would be nice to stop for awhile and just relax, feel the warm, fresh breeze on their faces and maybe catch sight of an eagle soaring over the canyon.

He had lifted her down and they sat beneath the towering pine tree near the canyons edge and talked for over an hour. Heath told her things about himself that she hadn't known before, some of the things he had done as a child and young man growing up. He gave her only the happy memories, never once mentioning any of the bad. He told her how glad he was that she had accepted him and made him part of her family, made him feel he had always been a part of it. How happy he had been when she asked him to call her 'Mother' and how proud he was to be her son. He had kissed her forehead and hugged her to himself as he looked into her eyes and thanked her for BEING his mother. He told her, as he had Nick, that the last five years had been the happiest of his life and he wouldn't have given them up for anything.

He had put his arm around her and held her tightly as she laid her head against his strong shoulder and he had dropped a kiss on her silver hair and whispered softly. "I love you Mother."

Her tears spilled over as she suddenly realized that he had been saying ... 'goodbye'.

....Continued