The surgery to remove her injured organ was performed one week ago and had been successful. When Sue was well enough to talk, she explained about her fall down the pile of rocks. The doctor had surmised that when she landed on the rock, the blunt force of the fall had damaged her spleen. The vicious hit from Varner on her back had not helped either. Dr. Swenson was pleased with the progress of her surgery to remove the spleen, but still concerned about her leg. The bullet from Varner’s gun had lodged in the bone. Removing it from the bone had been difficult.

Glancing at the leg encased in splints and hanging by some contraption to keep it straight and steady, Nick rubbed his thumb across her palm. He was deep in thought remembering the conversation, when the doctor had explained to her the importance of keeping the leg straight and allowing the bone to heal.

“Can’t you just plaster it, doc?” asked Sue quietly.

“Not yet. The plaster will need to cover your whole leg and the bullet wound has to heal first before we can do that.” explained Dr. Swenson patiently.

Turning her head to look out the window, Sue sighed, “Then?”

“Then after the plaster comes off, you will have to rebuild the strength in that leg by exercises.”

“I’m gonna limp, huh?” inquired Sue while Nick squeezed her hand.

Smiling tenderly, Dr. Swenson said, “No one can predict the future, Miss Weston. I think with your active lifestyle and determination, you’ll do fine.”

When the doctor had left the room, Nick waited for the tears or anger to come out, but none was forthcoming.

“Sue, you okay?” whispered Nick concerned with the silence.

Looking into his hazel eyes, Sue nodded and simply stated, “Guess we won’t be dancing at Jack’s wedding, Nick.”

Sue opened her eyes and was rewarded by the sight of the handsome cowboy by her bedside.

Smiling, Nick greeted her with a kiss and whispered, “Hi, my chameleon.”

Sue winced at a twinge of pain and grinned back at him. “Hi, Nick.”

“I got a telegram from Jack.” said Nick propping pillows behind her so she could sit up.

“Thanks.” smiled Sue gratefully. “What’s it say?”

“It says and I quote..
Rustlers caught
Fred says Sue was right
Congratulations
Hope to see you soon.”

Laughing and grabbing her side as the twinge flared again, Sue gloated, “Told ya’, Barkley!”

Sitting beside her, Nick asked innocently, “What are you talking about?”

Gesturing wildly, Sue rolled her eyes, “Don’t give me that innocent look, Nick Barkley! You laughed as much as Fred when I said those rustlers were taking the cattle through the mountains that were central to both Stockton and Modesto. Admit it!”

Grabbing the flailing hand, Nick smiled, “The only thing I’m gonna admit to is that I love you very much.”

Yanking her hand back, Sue stared into the hazel eyes, “Oh no, you don’t! Don’t be thinking you’re getting off that easy. Come on, just admit it!”

Leaning forward, Nick softly kissed her eyelids and lips, “Make me.”

With her heart palpating, Sue whispered. “With pleasure.”

Holding his face in her hands, she pulled it to her and gently kissed his lips. Sue deepened the kiss while Nick groaned from the desire aroused in him. Both bodies heaving from the loss of breath as they stared into each other’s eyes. Kissing her tenderly, Nick caressed her cheek.

“Nick, you’ll have to plan the wedding.” stated Sue.

Laughing outloud, Nick snorted, “I’m not planning it. That’s the woman’s job!”

Crossing her arms, Sue smiled, “Nick, I asked you to marry me. It’s only fair you plan it! Whenever the man asks, the woman always has to plan it. Turn around is fair play, don’t you think?”

Jumping up from the bed, Nick blustered, “HONEY, YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS!”

Waiting for him to stop complaining, Sue gestured him over. Looking at him, Sue said, “Nick, I can’t plan it in my condition. I can’t even get out of this bed til the doc plasters my leg. Darling, it doesn’t have to be anything fancy, just a small ceremony.”

Staring at her as if she had two heads, Nick rose, kissed her and walked out of the room muttering to himself, “Nothing fancy, just a small ceremony. What the hell do I know about weddings.”

Watching the retreating back, Sue grinned as she listened to his ramblings on the way out. “Sue Weston, you are so bad!”

Heath and Tom looked at Nick when he walked into the office and sat in the chair with a dazed look on his face.

“Big brother, did you see Sue this morning?” asked Heath.

Nick nodded a response to the question as the conversation kept rolling around in his mind.

Waving a hand in front of Nick’s eyes, Heath teased, “Nick, you in there?”

Slapping the hand, Nick growled, “Very funny! Of course, I’m here.”

Tom grinned at the two and shook his head, “What’s the matter, Nick? You seem a little out of it. Anything to do with your fiancee?”

Hearing the word fiancee, Nick jumped up startling the two men, “SUE SAYS I HAVE TO PLAN THE WEDDING! JUST CAUSE SHE PROPOSED TO ME!”

Stifling a grin, Heath nodded, “Well, it does kinda make sense, Nick.”

“I agree with Heath.” smiled Tom sipping his coffee.

“I think this Texas heat must dry up people’s brains.” groaned Nick sitting back down and holding his head in his hands. “What the hell do I know about weddings?”

“Nick, ain’t ya ever been to a wedding before?” inquired Heath incredulously.

Rolling his eyes, Nick snapped, “Of course, I’ve been to a wedding!”

“Then what’s the problem?” asked Tom innocently.

“GREAT! YOU TWO ARE NO HELP!” shouted Nick slamming the door behind him.

Looking at each other, the two burst out laughing until tears rolled down their cheeks. Heath wiped his eyes and stood up, “I better go see if she’s really gonna put him through that.”

“I’ll be by tonight to play poker.” replied Tom as Heath left.

Dr. Swenson greeted the man of the cloth, spoke softly to the padre and shook his head. Walking in, Father Martinez smiled at the young woman laying in the bed.

“Father, how are things at the mission?” asked Sue with a shake of his hand.

Sitting in the chair by the bed, the Father replied, “The children keep us very busy and entertained.”

Sue nodded, “I can only imagine. Thanks for taking care of Petey, Doc tells me he’s home and doing much better.”

“I am only too happy to help.” smiled Father Martinez. “How are you doing?”

Watching her face carefully, Father Martinez caught the fear quickly flicker and vanish in the emerald eyes.

Sighing, Sue shrugged, “I’ll be better once I can get back on my feet. After that, well, we’ll see.”

Leaning forward, he patted the hand laying on the bed and said quietly, “We all bear burdens in our journey through this life until we all meet in his kingdom. How we carry them is up to us.”

Smiling slightly, Sue shook his hand and replied, “Thank you, Father. I’ll come out to the mission to see you before I leave for Stockton.”

“Anytime, Miss Weston. We’ll look forward to having you visit us.” smiled Father Martinez.

Heath nodded and spoke to the departing man in the hallway for a few minutes before entering the room where Sue was looking out the window and her face awash with thoughtfulness. Heath approached the bed and sat beside her.

“Sue.” said Heath quietly.

Hearing the soft voice breaking through her thoughts, Sue reined in her emotions and looked at her friend, “Heath, I didn’t hear you come in.”

“Boy howdy, you were a million miles away.”

“Just thinking, sorry.” said Sue softly. Glancing at Heath, she asked, “Did you see Nick this morning?”

Heath grinned, “You’re not really gonna have Nick plan the wedding, are ya’?”

Sue replied, “Why not? Do you think just cause I’m a woman, I’d know anything about planning a wedding?”

Heath sighed, “I guess not. This is gonna make Nick crazy and I have to live with him!”

“As someone told me recently, Heath. We all bear burdens in our journey through this life.” said Sue in a serious tone.

“I don’t think that means having to listen to Nick while he’s planning a wedding.” said Heath rolling his eyes at her chuckle.

“Don’t worry, you can tell him I was only funning.” stated Sue and then groaned. “What the hell do I know about planning a wedding?”

“Thanks!” Kissing her forehead, Heath stood, “I think I’ll find that brother of mine and let him know.”

Walking to the doctor’s office, Nick stopped and greeted the doctor as he was leaving the office.

“Doc, how’s your patient?” smiled Nick.

Dr. Swenson sighed, “I have to admit, Mr. Barkley, I’m worried about her.”

Puzzled, Nick asked, “You mean about her leg?”

“No. I’ve known Miss Weston for a few years now and she’s taking it all a bit too, well, too quiet.” stated Dr. Swenson.

“She was a little quiet the other day when you were discussing the treatment.” admitted Nick with a frown.

“I can see it when I examine her, she’s afraid. Mr. Barkley, try to get her to open up and talk about her fears. Father Martinez spoke with her this morning and he thought she was a little quiet, too.” explained Dr. Swenson.

Nick nodded, “Okay, Doc. I’ll do whatever I have to.”

Patting Nick’s shoulder, the doctor smiled, “I know you will. Anything you can do to alleviate any extra stress or burden will help. I’d like her to stay focused on the rehabilitation of her leg as much as possible. I should be able to put the plaster on next week. Miss Weston’s gonna need all the support and love you can give her during the wait for the bone to heal.”

“Okay, thanks, doc.” said Nick quietly as he opened the door and walked down the hallway to her room. Pausing outside the door, Nick leaned against the wall and pondered the doctor’s words. Seeing Heath coming down the hall, Nick silenced him with a finger to his lips. Taking a hold of Heath’s arm, Nick pulled him outside.

“What’s the matter, Nick?” asked Heath. “Did you two have a fight?”

Tapping his gloves against his leg, Nick said quietly, “Heath, does Sue seem to be taking everything a little calmly?”

Tilting his head, Heath thought on Nick’s words. “Yeah, but you can never tell with Sue, why?”

“Well, the doc seems to think she’s taking it too calmly. Has she said anything about concerns with her leg?”

Shaking his head, Heath replied quietly, “No, she hasn’t. She say something to you?”

Frowning, Nick shook his head, “Come to think of it, whenever I bring it up, she changes the subject.”

“Maybe she’s just trying not to get all worked up about it.” suggested Heath.

Nick sighed, “Well, the only one way to find out is to have a little talk with my wife to be.”

Turning to leave, Heath looked back and smiled, “Nick, she said you didn’t have to plan the wedding. Sue said she was only funning and she’d take care of it.”

Remembering the doctor’s words, Nick grabbed Heath by the shoulder, “Doc also said to alleviate any extra burden and stress on Sue. I’d think planning a wedding would be a burden, don’t you little brother?”

“I guess so. I know Sonja has been all worked up about it.” said Heath with a tender smile as he thought of his own fiancee.

Putting his arm over Heath’s shoulders, Nick smiled, “Little brother, we’re gonna relieve my chameleon and your friend of that burden.”

Looking at Nick in surprise, Heath snorted, “It’s your wedding, Nick. Count me out.”

“Heath, I need your help. Sue needs your help.” pleaded Nick sincerely.

As he stared into the worried hazel eyes, Heath found himself nodding in agreement. “Okay.”

“Thanks, Heath.” whispered Nick pulling his brother into a quick hug. “I’ll see you at Tom’s later.”

Heath left and wandered back to Tom’s house. “Boy howdy, what a brother won’t do for another.” thought Heath with a sigh.

“Nick, I..” said Sue quietly as Nick sat beside her.

Putting his fingers on her lips, Nick took her hands, smiled into the red rimmed emerald eyes and said softly, “Suzanne Weston, do you know what I love about you?”

Sue sighed slightly, “Nick, I was only teasing about you planning the wedding.”

“I know, but really, do you know what I love about you?” asked Nick as he kissed her fingertips.

Looking at him curiously, Sue teased halfheartedly, “My mind?”

“I do love your mind and your body. But, most of all I love your passion for those you care about. Your generosity. Your sense of justice and fairness. Your sense of humor. Your love for the land beneath you. I even love your temper, especially when we make up afterwards. I love each and everything about you.”

Tears welled in her eyes while her heart swelled with love for this man beside her. Squeezing his hands, Sue whispered, “Nick, I, I don’t know what to say. I’m at a loss for words.”

Caressing her cheek, Nick said quietly, “I love you and I don’t wanna lose you.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“When you don’t share your fears and thoughts with me, you’re going someplace else in your mind.” explained Nick. “Don’t keep your fears inside and shut me out. I couldn’t go through that again.”

Memories of his tormented soul, while she traveled through the snow packed mountains assaulted her and Sue shook her head, “I don’t mean to shut you out. I’d never want to hurt you like that again.”

“Sue, talk to me.” urged Nick softly.

“I am worried, Nick.” admitted Sue softly. “I know that even if my leg doesn’t heal correctly, I can still ride and ranch. I just keep trying to tell myself it’ll just be an inconvenience, but I’m scared.”

“I’ll love you no matter what happens.” replied Nick with a smile. “I’m here with you, honey.”

Touching his cheek, Sue smiled, “I know. I’m ashamed that I’ve been having such vain thoughts. There’s lots of other people that deal with worse things than a limp. As Father Martinez said, ‘It’s up to me how I deal with the burdens life brings’ I’m sorry, I worried you.”

Brushing his lips against hers, he gently kissed her. “Whatever the future brings, we’ll deal with together. Okay?”

“Deal.” Sue whispered before kissing him back. Feeling his response, she deepened the kiss and welcomed the breathlessness between them. Passions flaring, his lips and tongue burned the skin of her throat. Working his way down her neck, he left a trail of intimate kisses down to the valley of her bosoms. Pushing aside the material of her undergarments, he seared her skin, her soft moans of desire and need floated to his ears. He reluctantly pushed the garments back in place. Guiding his lips to hers, she tenderly kissed him.

Lifting his head, she moaned and stared into the fiery eyes, “Nick, let’s not have a long engagement, okay?”

He tenderly kissed her and groaned, “How about four months?”

Holding onto him and kissing his weathered cheek, she moaned, “That’s too long!”

Chuckling, he grinned, “In one week, you’ll have the plaster on, we’ll be back in Stockton shortly after that and then I’ll finish what I started here.”

“Promises. Promises.” whispered Sue her eyes holding a promise of passion that would not be denied in the near future.

Sue woke the nurse shortly before eleven that night in pain and screaming for help. Dr. Swenson ran into the room from a sound sleep.

The next morning, walking into the room, Nick stopped at the pale face that greeted him. It was lined with exhaustion and tears were streaming down her cheeks. Taking her hands, Nick became alarmed at the tremble in them.

“Sue, what is it?” asked Nick softly.

Nick heard the anguished whisper. “I don’t know how to tell you. I should’ve known. I don’t know why I didn’t feel it.”

Fear grabbed Nick’s heart and held it in it’s grip, “What’s wrong? Honey, tell…”

Putting up her hand to silence him, Nick watched the tears trickle down and heard the shaky breath she inhaled, “I lost our baby, last night. I didn’t mean to, I just didn’t know. ”

Her tormented words shocked him to the very core of his soul. ‘A baby. I was gonna be a daddy.’ Sobs of pain and guilt reached his ears. Tears of loss streamed down his face, and he wrapped his arms tightly around her.

His gentle voice quivered with emotion, “Honey, you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not your fault.”

Embracing the strength he was offering and tightening her hold, Sue whispered between sobs. “I’ve always wanted to be a mother. I failed you. I’d been having pains, but I thought it was from the surgery. I’m sorry, I didn’t even know I was pregnant. Please forgive me, Nick.”

Rocking her gently, he stroked her hair and shushed her softly, “Sue, there’s nothing to forgive. You didn’t fail me. It wasn’t your fault. It’ll be alright, you’ll see.”

Laying her back onto the pillows, Nick wiped her tears. “I love you. I’m here with you, right by your side. Loving each other means sharing the good and the bad, no matter what.”

“Nick, I’m so confused. How could I not know?” whispered Sue hoarsely. “I just don’t understand how I didn’t know.”

“Shhhhh. Close your eyes and after you rest, we’ll talk to Dr. Swenson and get answers to your questions. Please honey, rest.” said Nick softly.

Closing her eyes, the spent woman fell asleep to the feel of Nick tenderly caressing her cheek. ‘Was it a boy or a girl’ his mind echoed over and over as the loss chilled him to his soul. ‘I was gonna be a father.’

Blinking back the tears that threatened to start again, Nick raised his eyes and sent a silent plea upwards. ‘Please, she’s been through so much already. Just give her the sunshine she deserves.’

Rising on shaky legs, Nick slowly made his way to the home of Sheriff Watson and entered the living room. Heath’s gut twisted at the look of anguish on Nick’s face, “Nick, what is it? Is it her leg?”

Stumbling over in a daze, he collapsed into Heath’s arms and deep sobs of grief wracked his body, “Sue lost our baby last night.”

Kneeling on the floor and tightly holding him, Heath’s tears mixed with Nick’s as he rocked him gently, offering what comfort he could to his distraught brother.

The sobs slowly ebbed out of his grieving brother and Heath helped him onto the sofa. Going to the bar, he poured two drinks and put one in Nick’s trembling hands. Bringing a chair over, he sat down in front of the shaking man.

“Drink it, Nick.” ordered Heath quietly.

Taking a swallow, Nick welcomed the burning sensation as it went down his strained throat. Running his hand through his hair, he quietly told Heath of the events of the morning.

Nick voice choked with guilt and grief was barely above a whisper, “I should’ve been there for her.”

“If you’d known Sue was with child, you would’ve been there. But neither of you knew. Don’t feel guilty, Nick. You didn’t know.” explained Heath quietly watching the hazel eyes fill with unshed tears.

“I keep wondering if it was a boy or a girl.” stammered Nick. “It could have been a little girl who looked just like Sue. What a beautiful baby that would’ve been.”

Squeezing the black clad shoulder, Heath said softly. “I’m sorry, Nick. You two would have been wonderful parents.”

“Heath, I didn’t consider what you’d think about this.” Wiping his eyes, Nick looked warily into the blue eyes, “I know it’s a shock. Are you angry with us?”

“No, I’m not angry. You are adults and sometimes things don’t go as planned. My own birth is evidence of that, but with you and Sue it’s different.” replied Heath quietly. “I know ya’ love her, Nick. You’ll be there for her. If you didn’t love her, you’d have to leave the country, one step ahead of me.”

“I love her more than life itself, Heath.” whispered Nick. “She thinks she’s failed me. She’s in so much turmoil.”

Grabbing the back of Nick’s neck, Heath gave him a little shake, “All you can do is be there for her. Sue’s strong in a lot of ways, but deep down she’s soft as a butterfly’s wings with a heart as big as Texas.”

Nick nodded, “I’m a lucky man, little brother, to have you both in my life.”

Flashing him a lop-sided grin, Heath agreed, “That you are, big brother, that you are.”

Pulling Heath into his arms, Nick tightened his hold and whispered, “You’ll be a wonderful father someday too, Heath. I wanna be there when she wakes up. Thanks, little brother.”

“I’ll come by this afternoon after Sue’s had time to rest.” said Heath patting his brother on the back. “Give her my love.”

“I will.” replied Nick closing the door behind him.

Sagging against the door, tears streamed down Heath’s face. His heart mourning for the niece or nephew be would never know. Closing his eyes, he prayed for his brother and his friend to help each other through this time.

“Howby doy, I feel fine.”

Nick shook his head and grinned at the drugged up woman on the bed.

Looking at the doc, Nick snorted, “I think you gave her too much pain killer, doc. She’s talking like she’s drunk.”

“Hmmm, she is a little happy. When we start plastering her leg, she won’t feel a thing. She’ll be asleep soon.” smiled Dr. Swenson as he untied the ropes holding the leg straight and lowered it to the bed.

Giggling, Sue smiled widely, “Ick, my leg moves!”

“I see that, honey.” said Nick patiently.

Dr. Swenson stifled his chuckle as he unwrapped the binding on the leg. Gingerly running his hand down the limb, Sue whispered loudly to Nick. “Don’t get angry, he’s a proflessional.”

Chuckling, Nick nodded, “I know, honey. You feel anything?”

Tapping his cheek, she smiled, “Just fluffy clouds!”

Kissing the hand, he breathed a sigh of relief, “Good.”

Looking around the room, Sue asked in a drowsy voice, “Heat?”

“Heat had to go back to work the ranch, remember?”

Laying her head back on the pillow, Sue replied sleepily, “Ranch walking.”

“Well, he could walk the ranch, but I think he’d feel better riding.” teased Nick.

Smiling at the handsome cowboy and trying to keep her eyes open, Sue whispered, “Yove la.”

“Yove la, too.” smirked Nick, caressing her cheek and watching the eyelids close.

“At least she didn’t suffer the hallucination side effect. Some patients have been known to see animals and other things when they get a higher dose of morphine.” Plastering the leg while his nurse held it in place, Dr. Swenson said softly, “You can take her home in a couple of days. Don’t worry, she’ll be fine.”

Nick watched the doctor continue the plastering and let his thoughts take him back. Over the past week, they had focused on helping each other deal with the unexpected pain and loss. Tears had flown abundantly along with discussions of their future.

When the doctor had asked Sue about her cycles, she and Nick had both turned a bright red at the line of questioning.

Shocked at the topic, Sue stammered, “Doc! That’s kinda personal, don’t ya’ think!”

“I’m a professional, Miss Weston. I realize this may be an uncomfortable topic.” replied Dr. Swenson. “Did you know sometimes a woman can be pregnant and still have a cycle?”

Sue shook her head and answered quietly, “No, I didn’t know that.”

“Do you know when your last one was?”

“They’re not on a regular basis. I just gotta think for a minute.” said Sue concentrating and thinking back in time. “It was after Sonja and Heath got engaged on New Year’s day. I’m real excited for Heath. He’s got a wonderful woman in Sonja. Then we got the new bull. Let’s see that was the first week in February and I had it one week later.” stated Sue quietly the embarrassment clearly showing on her face. Nick sat looking at the floor, trying to ignore the topic while squeezing her hand in support.

Dr. Swenson had advised the couple that he felt she was only a little over a month along when the miscarriage had happened. The trauma on her body from the mountain ordeal could have been a factor or sometimes nature knew something wasn’t right and would correct it on its own. Patiently, he answered all their questions, listened to their fears and handed out handkerchiefs to dry up the tears. In the end, he felt they should have no problem conceiving in the future.

Smiling, Nick’s thoughts focused on his little brother who he had turned to in his time of need to help him through the dark waters of the unknown and emotional path. Nick had relied heavily on Heath’s strength and calming presence.

....Continued