(To the tune of I'm Too Sexy)

Mike’s too sexy not to love, too sexy not to love
love’s going to find him

Mike’s so sexy with no shirt, so sexy with no shirt
So sexy it hurts
And he’s too sexy for Salem, too sexy for Salem
and all its women
And Mike’s too sexy for their party
Too sexy for their party
No way he’s doing romancing

Mike’s a doctor, you know what I mean
And he does his healing act on the patients
Yeah on the patients, on the patients yeah
He does his healing act on the patients

Mike’s too sexy for his work, too sexy for his work
So sexy as Roark
And he’s too sexy for his date
Too sexy for his date, and he’s going to be late

‘Cos Mike’s a lover, you know what I mean
And he gives his loving heart just to Carrie
Yeah just to Carrie, just to Carrie yeah
He shares his loving touch just with Carrie

Mike’s too sexy for his, too sexy for his, too sexy for his

Mike’s so sexy in his tux, so sexy in his tux
Poor Carrie, poor Carrie looks
He’s too sexy not to love, too sexy not to love
Love’s going to find him

And Mike’s too sexy for this song!

August 7, 1998