Our Carrie's troubled, not sure what to do
Saw Mike with Ali and she's feelin' blue
She can't figure out just what's causin' her to pine
She could use some help from -
Love Potion Number Nine

She's so caught up that she can't even see
An angel sneaking in so gingerly
To set down unnoticed on the counter there behind
A fresh brand new bottle of -
Love Potion Number Nine

Her heart is achin' and her mouth's gone dry
She feels as though she is about to cry
She had to have a drink so she grabbed what she could find
She picked up the bottle of -
Love Potion Number Nine

In such a hurry she just took a sip
She felt a tingle spread across her lip
She looked at the label, panic flew across her mind
When she saw that she drank some -
Love Potion Number Nine

Her body's shakin' and she felt a flush
Not once before had she had such a rush
She saw Dr. Mike and she thought she'd lose her mind
It must have been that helpin' of -
Love Potion Number Nine

She bent down an' turned around an' gave a big blink
She said I'm gonna have more of that potion I think
It smelled like turpentine and looked like India ink
She held her nose... she closed her eyes...
She took a drink

She didn't know if it was day or night
She didn't care if it was wrong or right
She knew there'd be no stoppin', she just had to cross that line
All because she drank that -
Love Potion Number Nine

Her pulse was racin' and she had the sweats
She felt so hot 'cause that's the way it gets
She said "I need a doctor, I know who I have in mind
Thank goodness that I drank that -
Love Potion Number Nine"

She made a beeline straight for Dr. Mike
She looked at Ali and said - "Take a hike!"
She knew what she wanted and she would not stand in line
She really felt the power of -
Love Potion Number Nine

She grabbed his shirt and pinned him to the wall
She lost control and she began to maul
She said "I love you madly, will you promise to be mine,
Or do I have to give you some -
Love Potion Number Nine?"

Now Mike was speechless just to say the least
He'd never seen her act like such a beast
He blurted out "I love you and I want you to be mine!"
He didn't need a drop of -
Love Potion Number Nine

She dragged him to his office down the hall
She locked the door and said, "No time to loll!"
They've been in there for days and they are NOT in there to pine
All thanks to that bottle of -
Love Potion Number Nine

Love Potion Number Nine
Love Potion Number Nine...