Only in Britain...

... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

... do Supermarkets make the sick people walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.

... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and put our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

... do we buy hot dogs in packs of ten and buns in packs of eight.

... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

... are there disabled parking places in front of a Skating rink.

... 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

... 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

... 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

... 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

... 19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

... British hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.

... 101 people since 1999 have had to have broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

... 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouths.

... a massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

... 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scaletrix cars.

and finally....

in 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet!

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