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The Second Janice Springer Show!!

**camera shot pans across a loudly cheering audience and to a stage. Janice comes out**

Janice: Hello, and welcome to my show! Today is our second half of our GW special! Isn't that exciting?

**the audience cheers**

Janice: The center of today's show is the much negelcted character Wufei. He's kind of the odd one out with the two abiguosly gay couples sharing the spot light of his show. Thus, he often ends up in three-somes with the other gundam pilots or two-somes with the not-so-major characters. Sometimes, he even ends up in three-somes with not-so-major characters. This is obviously an insult to the poor boy's dignity! Today, we hope to clear up Wufei's love-life. With that said... shall we bring him out, audience?

**half the audience cheers, the other half is awakened by the cheering after having fallen asleep during Janice's mono-louge**

Janice: Come on out, Wufei!

**Wufei enters, nodding at the wildly cheering crowd. He sits in one of a row of chairs.**

Wufei: **looks at Janice** Woman, why am I here?

Janice: **shrugs** I dunno. Why am I here?

Wufei: Well, why are you here?

Janice: **shrugs again** Its a living.... Anyway, Wufei, do you know why you're here today?

Wufei: **exsasperated** That's what I just asked you, woman!

Janice: **sweatdrops** Oh, yeah. Well, today we've brought you here to clear up your love-life, Wufei!

**audience cheers**

Wufei: Wha-what? **makes choking sounds**

Janice: That's right! No one seems to know who to really pair you with, so today we've brought all the possibilities together!

**Wufei colapses, twitching**

Janice: Shall we bring out the first possibility? **looks at audience**

**audience cheers**

Janice: Come on out, Treize!

**Treize enters, waves, and bows. He sits nexts to Wufei, offering the shocked boy a rose. The audience cheers (duh).**

Treize: Chang-kun... take this simple flower as a sign of my affection. Though it is no rival for your beauty, I hope you will except it, as it is a humble gift from this unworthy soul. Perhaps in exchange you will give me a kiss? Though of course I am too bold, so delicate a maiden as you would not so readily surrender her lips to a cad such as myself. Forgive my uncoth behavior, my sweet little dove.

Wufei: **looks like he is going to be sick**: Tr-treize! Have you gone nuts? Where did you get that speach, Kuno Tatewake? Yuck!

**audiences 'ohhhs' and some one yells 'just kiss him! we all know he wants you to!'. Treize smiles, tilts Wufei's head back, and kisses him deeply. The audience goes wild, and Wufei passes out from shock.**

Janice: *eeps* Um, and now for a commercial break! Be here when we come back and find out that Wufei isn't Treize's only love!

**audience cheers, clip of Lady Anne and Zechs coming on is shown, and a commercial palys**

Janice: Welcome back! Now Treize, we have some people back stage who would be very interested your interest in Wufei. Is there anything you'd like to tell Wufei before i ask them to come out?

Treize: **looking up from the prone form of Wufei that he has been trying to revive** I'm a strait-forward man. If my little Wu-chan was awake, I'd tell him everything.

Janice: **mutters** Well, good thing he isn't, 'cause my ratings would drop... **speaks up** Let's bring out Zechs and Lady Anne! Come on out!

**Audience does their bit as Lady Anne and Zechs enter from oppisite sides of the stage. They both smile and wave, then simultaniously saunter over to Treize.**

Lady Anne: **in her "peaceful" form** Treize-sama.

Zechs: **bends on one knee and offers Treize a yellow tulip** Oh Treize, my black stallion

(author1: good one, author2! (she gave me that stallion bit, even tho I'm supposed to write this part))

of a lover, accept this blossom that bloomed like our love has. Remeber this moment, keeping this in your mind forever...the perfect bloom. In your memories, it's elegance will never fade or crumple, but remain whole, like our love that is so true.

Treize: Ahh, my... um... bird-like masked lover!

**Lady Anne trembles. Treize smiles, helps Zechs to his feet, and the two kiss. Wufei awakes just in time to have Lady Anne faint on top of him. He glares at Treize in defiance.**

Wufei: **pushing Lady Anne off of him and standing** Tre-treize! You defile me by confessing your love and then kissing that-that--**points finger at Zechs** Waterfowl wanna-be!

**audience choruses 'fight fight fight!'**

Zechs: Wha-what!! You can't insult me like that! You're the boy who looks like he has a stick shoved up his *beeep*!

Wufei:Why you little.....!!!!!

Zechs: Who are you calling little!?!

Treize: ** dantily puts hand to mouth and talks in a southern accent** Oh my. Are you two fighting over little o' me?

**Treize is ignored as WuFei reaches for his sword (which um... "someone", had been messing with. Don't ask who. We don't know. It wasn't us!). What Wufei pulled out wasn't a sword, but a boquet of flowers.**

Zechs: Oh! WuFei! I never thought you felt this way!

WuFei: eh? What is this!?!?!

**WuFei begins to yell while waving around the flowers.**

Zechs: WuFei, dear, if you wave them around like that they'll be damaged.

** With that Zechs hugged WuFei**

Treize: Oh! Two of my loves! How beautiful!

** Treize couldn't hold himself back any longer, and he throws himself at Zechs and WuFei.**

Janice: Um... Well, shall we go to a commercial break?

**As you could have guessed, they were commercials of flowers and amunition.**

**Janice had managed to get the three men seated. Well, two. WuFei isn't a man yet.**

Janice: Welcome back! Now, shall we bring out our first yuri couple of the etire two episodes!?!

**Audience cheers furiously.**

Janice: Come on out, Noin and Sally!!

**Noin and Sally come out smiling. They take their seats.**

Janice: Now, ladies, would you like to explain why you were brought out here?

Noin: Well, I do care deeply for Sally, but I also have feeling for Zechs.

Janice: Zechs, how do you handle so many lovers at once?

Zechs: Well, you see, aside from fighting, I have hobbies of my own. And collecting lovers just happens to be one.

**Audience sweatdrops.**

Treize: Zechs!?! Does... does that mean that you.. *sniff* that you don't love me!?!

Zechs: No! Treize, my love!! That's not true! I DO love you!

**Zechs threw his arms around Trieze hugging him and squishing WuFei between them.**

Janice:Um, yeah. Sally, why are you here?

Sally: For WuFei.

**Treize's and Zech's faces turn to look at Sally. Their arms slide down to wrap around "their" Wufei protectively.**

Zechs and Trieze in unison: You stay away from our little dragon!!

**Sally glares at them.**

Sally: Well, Noin's much better in bed than WuFei is, so I guess it's not too big of a deal.

WuFei: NANI!?!?!?!


Janice: What on earth was that!?!

mysterious voice: How dare you!!!


mysterious voice: How dare you insult MY WuFei!!


Janice: Oh dear god!!!!!

**Shenlong appears on the stage.**

WuFei: **With stary, school girly, love struck eyes.** NATAKU!!!!

**WuFei brakes free of Treize and Zech's hold and bounds over to Shenlong.**

Janice: Um.....

**WuFei glomps onto Shenlong's foot, having trouble jumping any higher (don't ask me why) and rubbing his face against Shenlong.**

WuFei: OH, Nataku, I have missed you so!

Treize and Zechs (in unison (again)): LITTLE DRGAON!!!

** The two sat huddled together crying at the loss of their beloved "little dragon".**

Janice: Well, um...hey! Where'd Noin and Sally go?

**Suddenly there was a crashing noise from back stage.**

Janice: Um... I think we should let those two be.

**On a forgotten part of the stage, lady Anne pushes a pair of glasses up the bridge of her nose. She gryns, then pulls a gun out of her coat. Evil Lady Anne holds up the gun, aiming at Zech's head.**

Lady Anne: Damn you Zechs!!!You took my man!!

**Treize and Zechs looked up. The two of them screemed in a high pitched feminine way, clutching to each other even tighter.**

Janice: Um.. ummm.... SECURITY!!!!

**Security was busy at the moment, observing the acts between Noin and Sally (Perverts!!!)**

Janice: Um... umm..... someone call 911!!!!!!!!!!!

** Lady Anne was now running around the room, chasing and shooting at Zechs, while Treize ducked under his chair, and the audience running for dear life.**

Janice: Um.. See you next time!!! When.... when...aaahhhhh!!!

**Bullets fly by and the screen goes black.**

Quatre: ^.^ Hope you enjoyed!! And I hope this wasn't too much for you! Have a nice day! ^.^

Duo: That was sycotic. Now boys and girls, I hope you have learned your lesson...never let two fangrrrls stay up til a quater past three writing GW parodies. We get hyper. Very hyper. And we did this one when we were at seperate houses, talking thru aol im... scary, ne? I think so....

~owari? I think not! Watch out for an "omake" within the next month!~

You wanna go back to that weird place? Well, suit yourself...