Part Eleven

Buffy hurried to Giles' house before Riley could tell the others her secret. She was walking faster and faster and praying the whole time that they would be willing to listen to what she had to say on the matter. Soon she reached his house and went inside. She was about to call his name, but stopped in her track when she saw everyone in the living room waiting for her. And from the look on their faces told her that they knew. Riley had told them and now she was in big trouble. She expected someone to break the silence by screaming at her, but knew they were probably too angry with her.

"So, sleeping with the demon, ah Buffy, that's new," Xander, said it coldly while staring at her. Buffy slightly winced at his cold words.

"It's not what you think. You have to let me explain," she begged.

"I think it's little too late for that, don't you Buff? I mean for so long you have quite forgotten what the truth is, or what is important," he added.

Buffy looked at Giles and he couldn't even look at her. What did she expect anyway? They hated her now because she had been lying to them, betraying their trust. But she wanted to make them understand why she did it.

"Please Giles, I know I don't have any excuse for what I did but you have to understand . . ." she started but was interrupted by him.

"I don't want to hear it, Buffy. It's clear that you lied to all of us from the moment Angel lost his soul and I will never understand the reason. When you protected Angel when he came back even then I had hard time understanding. But this is Angelus we are talking about Buffy," he said it with anger.

"I know that Giles, but it's not what you think. He doesn't hurt people. He didn't hurt me or you guys," she explained.

"Oh, it's so great that he didn't attack and kill us all, Buffy this time, so we are supposed to forget what he did before." Xander said.

"He is right Buffy. May I remind you that he was the one who tortured me, hurt us all and killed innocent people? How could you defend him after he did? You went behind our backs and lied to us continuously each time you were with him."

Buffy looked at Willow who was remaining silent entire time. "Will, please tell them to listen what I have to say . . ." she begged her best friend, hoping she would be on her side or tried to understand her.

"Buffy we are best friends, and I understood the things that you did with Angel. But I don't get it with Angelus. I am your best friend and you lied to us all. When I told them that I lost the curse, you didn't even defend me or try to understand me by saying you were the reason for making him lose his soul. You hurt Riley by cheating on him and he loves you, Buffy." she said.

"So the entire time you made the excuses you made so you could be with him, right Buffy. I loved you and you have a funny way of returning that love," Riley said with anger.

"I never meant to hurt you. I can understand why you don't want to listen to what I have to say but at least give me few moments to explain why I did. That's all I'm asking" Buffy said in sad tone.

"All right Buffy. We are listening," Giles said.

"Well when I woke up the next morning after what had happened between Angel and I, I was scared. I realized that I made the same mistake I did before and now everyone else was going to pay the price for it. I wanted to get the hell out of there and tell you so Willow could curse him again. But when he told me about the curse being gone, I freaked. I didn't believe it and all I could think about what him hurting the people that I cared about. I knew what he was capable of and he would make sure to hurt you guys more. And then he said that if I made this deal with him . . ." she was cut off.

"What deal?" Xander asked.

"He said he wouldn't find ways to hurt you and other people if I gave him what he wanted." Buffy added.

"Let me guess, that would be the sleeping with him right whenever he wanted," Giles said.

"Yes. I just froze when he told me what he wanted in return. I had to make a decision fast and as I said before all I could think about was protecting all of you. He also told me if I told anyone of the deal we made then it would be off. I just didn't want him to hurt me or you guys. And I thought that was the only way to protect you from him. After all I was the only one who had to lose. I should be the only one to pay the price for making the mistake again. So I agreed and there were millions of times when I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't take the risk. I couldn't see any other way. The curse was gone forever and I knew he would have taken advantage of that situation," Buffy said, while hoping they would understand her.

The gang listened to her explanation and it did make some sort of sense. "Well Buffy, we understand why did you do it but that doesn't mean we are forgive you or trust you anymore. And things can never go back to what it was like before," Giles said to her.

"I know that Giles, but please you have to give me second chance. I made a terrible mistake and I know saying I'm sorry isn't going to fix it. But please just give me another chance to gain your trust. I'll do anything you say, just, please I don't want to lose you," she said while trying not to cry.

"Ok, Buffy we would give you a second chance but you have to follow the rules," he said.

"Just tell me what to do and I'll do it," she answered.

"First of all you break off the deal with him," he said, shocking her.

"What?" she said in small voice.

"If you want this to work then you have to stop seeing him," he said.

"But then he would attack us and try to hurt us," she said.

"I am well aware of that Buffy. But you have to stop seeing him. You don't talk to him. You don't let him near you in any circumstances. From now on you will not patrol alone. Someone will be always there with you. You are not allowed to go alone anywhere until we feel that we can trust you. You will do the uninvitation spell to your house. If you happen to see him, you will have to fight him. And from now on you would have to tell us what is going on. If you agree to these terms then maybe we'll be able to forgive you or eventually trust you again," he said.

Buffy was shocked. Not to see him or talk to him. That would mean never ever to feel his touch, the touch she craved the most. Her mind wanted to scream NO because she didn't know how to survive without him. How was she supposed to make them understand that if she didn't see him then she would die? But she had also her slayer duty. She needed to gain her friends trust back. So she had to agree to their rules.

"Ok. I will do what you asked for. But we have to be careful from now on," she said it with sadness.

"Look Buffy I know you think this is harsh, but it's the only way," Willow said.

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