To The Victor...

If not---”Buuuffy!! You gots some ‘splaining to do!”

Quickly she strode towards Sunnydale’s downtown district. The tips of her ears were burning as she made her way towards Angelus’. This would be the first time that she went to him and it made her feel...icky. And not in a good way. But then again, was there ever a good way?

Thinking back to dinner she felt her entire face flush. To think that she had actually done that in the bathroom! And liked it too, at least until it was over. Crossing the street she jumped up onto the sidewalk, before slowing her steps. But if she had been shocked by their illicit activities, then she was completely blown away a few minutes later.

Coming out of the bathroom Buffy calmly walked down the hallway, pushing the events of the last ten minutes from her mind. She had be clear, focused, and most of all INNOCENT around her mother. By no means could she betray the fact that she had been on her knees in the mens bathroom with a man old enough to be grandfather at least four times over. Euw! Thinking of it like that is too disgusting!

As she cleared the doorway, the young waiter was there by her side. “Are you okay? Did you get your make-up fixed?”

Pasting a smile on her face Buffy inwardly groaned. I’m the last person you should be talking to. “I’m okay, thanks. It’s just this mascara that was buggin’ me, that’s all.”

“I can walk you over to your table...” he tactfully noted, the earnestness of his emotions an undertone to his politeness.

Scanning the room she looked for Angelus but did not see him anywhere. Where is he? Glancing back at the young man Buffy shook her head and murmured “I’m pretty sure you’re really busy here. I don’t want to take up a lot of your time---”

“It’s what I’m here for, it’s not a problem!”” he assured her, his arm reaching for hers.

Buffy neatly stepped to the side, avoiding his touch, while she firmly declined “No thanks. I’ll be okay.” With that she walked back towards her table. He probably thought her rude but it was better that than him not being able to think at all. As she rounded the corner she abruptly stopped. There was Angelus---sitting with her mother!

Buffy’s first reaction was one of panic. Is it telling her what we did?! What I did?!! He wouldn’t be that stupid! But he’d be that spiteful!!! Oh God! How do I explain this? At any moment she expected her mother to either dump her wine over his head or stand up screaming her name like a enraged lunatic. Grabbing hold of herself Buffy rethought the situation. No, it would be too easy if he did that. Angelus wants to drag this out. He knows I’ll be freakin’ out once I see him. I’m not gonna give him the satisfaction of knowing he was right!

Focusing her gaze back upon the table she began to see things in a different and unnerving light. The two were obviously having a pleasant conversation. Her mother was leaning forward, a brilliant smile on her face. She was idly playing with her winestem while completely engrossed with whatever Angelus was saying. There was even a slight blush on her mother’s cheeks, softening her skin with a glow much like that of a younger woman.

Immediately Buffy felt a frisson of irritation and threat. She wasn’t attracted to him, was she? She better not be or else--- Mentally shaking her head Buffy reined in her wayward thoughts. It was her mother for crying out loud! You know---good old Mom? The one who bakes cookies every now and then. The one who is, you know, a MOM! She probably doesn’t even look at men anymore. Besides, for all her mother knew, Angelus was way too young for her.

But still, Buffy didn’t quite trust it. She better keep an eye out, just in case. Although it was Angelus she didn’t trust, because, well---her mom just didn’t do that stuff anymore! And he was obviously angling for something, there was no doubt about that. The question being: what was he after now?

Taking a calming breath Buffy prepared herself for whatever game Angelus was playing. He wants to play games, fine by me. He won’t win so easily this time. she silently swore. Her determination was great even though her body desperately worked against her. Again. Her inner Eve had not wasted one moment before silently rejoicing at seeing her lover again.

Never mind the fact that he had left her unsatisfied. Never mind the fact that he had insulted her by calling her a whore. Never mind that his sole purpose had been to humiliate her. Her body simply did not care.

However, Buffy did.

Casually she strolled to the table just as both occupants broke out into laughter. Seeing her daughter Joyce held a hand to her chest as she gasped “H-Hi honey, I’m sure you know Angel. He stopped by to say hi. Did you get your problem fixed?”

Before Buffy could answer Angelus stood up and queried “Problem? I surely hope not.”

Turning towards him Joyce answered “She had a problem with her eyes watering. It was her mascara---what we women do to look our best!” At the end of her statement she girlishly giggled, her gaze becoming unfocused for a moment. Looking back at Buffy she straightened in her chair and waved her towards her seat. “Our main course just got here Buffy, so it’s still hot. I tried to convince your tutor here to eat with us but...”

Charmingly he said “I just ate, if I had known you would be here I would’ve gladly taken dinner with you both.” Fixing his false smile Angelus warmly said “Hello Buffy. I hope you’ve been studying your lessons. I’d hate to see you literally on your knees again from frustration, we worked so HARD our last session.”

Ooh you sneaky slime!

That’s the way of it darling. Hate me with your eyes, it makes this all the more fun.

Lifting her lips in an equally faux grin she brightly said “How could I forget? You went out of your way to explain the feudal system to me. But I’m sure I’ll score when it really counts. On the tests that is.”

“Preparation is the key Buffy. Over-confidence will make you slip up and then---all your good intentions go out the windows.” he softly countered.

Ha. Ha. Good one lover.

“I don’t think I’ll forget the difference between a serf and a slave.” Glancing back at her mother she noted “I think my favorite part was the chapter on the uprisings. Rather bloody, but then again, that is the way of war.”

Catch my drift Angelus DEAR?

War. My favorite pastime. I grant you this point darling. But the question is this: can you defend yourself while underseige?

Smoothly Angelus pulled Buffy’s chair back, awaiting for her to seat herself. Staring straight ahead she politely thanked him while plotting her strategy. Unfortunately she had never really been any good at games. She never won in bingo, always busted in blackjack, poker---ha! forget about it. Games---no she had never been a champion, but she sure as hell was going to try!

However, Angelus loved playing games. It made his unlife more than a mundane existence of feeding. He never lost. Despite her previous promise of victory, Buffy knew that if she was ever going to win, she had better learn to play catch-up. Quick.

And being the master that he was, Angelus wasted no time in playing and winning the next move.

After pushing Buffy’s chair in, he discreetly trailed his finger down her back before moving to the other side of the table. It was only with extreme determination that she had held herself perfectly still. Outwardly she appeared almost negligent about her “tutor’s” presence. On the inside---she had turned into pure liquid warmth.

While his expression never registered her reaction, his eyes wickedly danced in dark merriment. Ever so slightly Angelus allowed his nostrils to flare before touching the tip of his tongue to his lips. Her mother never noticed.

But as intended, Buffy did.

Attributing the slight stiffness from Buffy as the natural reaction between tutor and pupil, Joyce brightly chattered about everything. About Buffy, about history, about her dropping grades in math (briefly looking at her daughter with a stern look in her eyes), and about her own work in art, before directing the conversation to Angelus. “So Angel, when do you graduate? Buffy did mention that you attend the local college.”

Congenially smiling (a smile that never reached his eyes, but only Buffy noticed) he apologetically clarified “Well actually Mrs. Summers, I’m not a student.”

Frowning in confusion Joyce looked between the two of them before asking “You’re not? I’m sorry, but I thought Buffy said you were in school.”

“I do take classes,” when he glanced at Buffy briefly, she could see a mocking gleam. “But I only take them for pure enjoyment. I’m a lover of knowledge in all forms.”

Most especially your daughter.

You didn’t get away with that you pig! Lover of knowledge---ha!

“Ah, I see. So what do you do?” her mother prodded

“Yeah Angel, what do you do?” Buffy subtlely goaded.

“You mean you don’t know Buffy?” Joyce quizzed.

His mouth tightened at hearing his lover call him by his rival's name. “No actually she doesn’t. I try to keep everything strictly academic, not very much chit-chat, but more on the instructive level.”

Like instructing her how to keep her goddamned mouth shut unless it's to say MY name.

Leaning back slightly he casually stated “Life’s been good to me, my...ancestors...were shrewd with their wealth and because of that I’ve been able to dabble here and there.”

“So you don’t actually have a job?” Joyce noted, a hint of dismay in her voice.

That’s right Mom, he’s a bum. A worthless demon bum. No job, no career, nada. But why do you care? He’s just my “tutor” as far as you know. What difference does it make? What? Are you sizing him up for yourself Mother-Dear?

Careful Buff---your jealousy is showing. To think that you’re threatened by your own mother! Don’t you believe in the bond of your familial love?

Flashing a devastating grin that swept both women he enthusiastically replied “But Mrs. Summers I DO have a job---teaching your daughter all she needs to know. About history that is.”

It might be fun to turn you both against each other. Mother and Daughter fighting over little humble me. Hmmm....maybe...

Back and forth it went. For every sentence she spoke he had one to counter it. Nothing every overly lewd, but he made sure she knew EXACTLY what he meant. And did she know. At first the persistent desire she felt for him was enough to keep her preoccupied---in order to keep it under control. All he had to do was flash her a look, a grin, a subtle rub of his leg against hers and she was on the verge of collapse, at least on the inside.

But as the time went on, she felt less and less amorous and more and more infuriated. While he wasn’t outrightly flirting with her mother, he made sure she received a few appreciative glances and a touch or two on the hand. As far as her mother could see, he only looked at Buffy as one would look at a child---friendly yet uninterested. The more he treated her as a child, the more sullen she behaved.

Was this more for her benefit or her mother’s?

Damn bastard! He comes into this restaurant, wrecks my whole dinner---which I can’t eat since it would be rude to eat in front of him, and now he’s giving out the "I’m available if you are" vibes to my own MOTHER!. And to top if all off, my mother is playing right into it! As her anger began to take control, even her blood could not hold it’s boilings for more than a few seconds.

Anger. What an intensely satisfying emotion to hide behind. How could she have ever forgotten?

At this point Buffy grew tired of his innuendoes, she grew tired of her mother’s silly smile, she just grew tired of it all and had simply told Angelus to go away. In very short terms.

Of course her mother had been embarrassed, apologetic, and extremely irritated all at once. She had apologized to Angelus profusely, hoping to make up for her daughter’s rudeness. Of course he was picture of understanding, saying all the right things: “No, that’s alright. I understand. She’s just had a long day and probably doesn’t want to be around her stuffy old tutor.”

“Old? You’re hardly old!” she exclaimed while brushing her hand against his. Oh-so-casually Joyce asked “Just how old are you?”

A hard glint flashing in her eyes Buffy silently dared him to tell the truth. What are you going to say lover? Twenty? Twenty-two? Or two-hundred and forty-two or is it three?

“Actually I’m twenty-seven.” he modestly replied, a devilish twinkle in his own eyes. Who says women are the only ones self-conscious about their ages?

Her mother let out a light, tinkling laugh which was very similar to Buffy’ s. Incredulously she slanted a disgusted glance at her mother. She never heard her mom laugh like that. I can’t fucking believe this! My mother has the hots for my boyfriend! I mean ex-boyfriend...oh whatever---the guy I’m SCREWING. He’s MY tutor and she has the hots for him. I can fucking feel it! That SLUT!

Before Angelus could say anything more, Buffy turned to her mother and curtly said “I’m not feeling well. Can we leave now?”

The ride home had not gone well at all. Her mother just kept prodding as to why she was being so disagreeable. Buffy just kept staring straight ahead, refusing to answer with anything other than a curt "Yes" or "No". At one point Buffy had almost come out and told her, before clamping down even further. She couldn't say one thing without having to say it all. So instead she stuffed her feelings down inside---something she was getting very used to.

Kicking a rock out of her path Buffy felt very alone. Just that afternoon she felt that her mother was her last defense against the world. Against Angelus. And now he had taken that from her. Angrily wiping her eyes she knew she couldn’t blame her mom for finding him attractive. Hell, you’d have to be deaf, blind, and dumb not to know it, but still...

It just didn’t feel right. She just never thought her mom would ever look at anyone in her life like that. Didn’t she know that guys associated to her, no matter their position, were off limits?

It was one of the cardinal rules that got passed along with how to feed and change your newborn baby girl: You see this is how you hold her head and always make sure you hold the bottle like this so that she doesn’t swallow air. Yes, that’s it. Now always make sure you wipe her from top to bottom. You’re doing great! Now this is the most important part, no not how to burp her, but this: You NEVER, EVER look at her boyfriend or ex-boyfriend, or tutor! Especially her tutor!

Although Buffy was hardly experienced, she had learned enough this weekend to see the light of interest in her mother’s eyes. She learned enough to read her mother’s fidgeting and laughter as more than just politeness.

And above all---she knew Angelus had read everything and more.

Now there was a barrier between them. Her mother might never notice it, but it was there nonetheless. Was there nothing in her life that he could not somehow soil? Man, chick---this just isn’t your weekend, is it? First it’s sex with your enemy, then it’s the disease of almost being turned---which, by the way, you’re taking with way too much ease. You need to do something about that. Okay, then public acts of lewdness and now you’re mom wants your demon lover.

Walking past the church Buffy briefly thought about going in before changing her mind. Even though she had found some peace yesterday, religion would do nothing for her now. She had made her choices. Walking along she saw a couple sitting in their car, locked in a passionate embrace. Her steps significantly slowed as she watched them. Her vision sharpened until she could see the fine hairs on the young man’s cheeks and the smudged lipstick on the young woman’s lower lip.

Buffy felt a sharp prick of envy and helpless wonder as she watched them greedily touch and kiss each other.

The emotions of love and lust between the two were so powerful, so strong. Pulling away from each other periodically, they whispered words of love that Buffy could hear as clearly as if they were whispered to her. I love you so much...I can’t live without you...I need you so much...

But no one would whisper those words to her anymore. The depth of their young love communicated itself to the Slayer, making her yearn for another taste of the elusive emotion.

She had known it once.

She had tasted it briefly, never having a chance to engorge herself in it. She and Angel never had a chance. They had really only had a scattering of hours before it all got snatched away. Tearing her melancholy gaze away from the fevered couple, she hardened her mouth into a tight line. Looking up she saw Angelus’ building ahead of her. Angelus the Scourge of Europe. He had destroyed and ravaged for almost two centuries and now he was here. Presumably to make up for lost time.

And she was going to him.

Briskly she forced her feet to continue on their self-destructive path. Reaching the glass doors she tugged at one before realizing it was locked. A glimmer of hope flared in her breast. Maybe she wouldn’t have to see him tonight. Afterall, she did try but if the doors were locked...

Looking through the glass she saw an older man dozing at the desk. Recognizing him as one of the men who saw her the other day in the lobby, Buffy made to turn around. She didn’t want him to see her again, it would just be too embarrassing. Her ears perked up when she heard the low hum of the phone. She didn’t have to hear the words of the man as he jumped up and answered it.

Angelus was on the line. He knew she was here.

Squaring her shoulders she waited while the man came to the door and unlocked it. Apologetically he murmured “I’m sorry to keep you waiting out there miss. I swear I didn’t even see you!”

Gently smiling she assured him. “It’s okay, I just got here.”

“Mr. Gryphon said to just come on up. He said you have the code.”

“Thank you.” Walking towards the elevator Buffy wondered if she really saw apprehension in his faded blue eyes or it was all in her head. Pushing the button she stepped in and waited for the doors to close. Once closed off she pressed the ornate “P” and then punched in the code once the keypad slid open.

Buffy’s hands grew clammy as she wondered what would happen once she stepped out into his lair. He had promised to take care of her later. She knew he wouldn’t forget, so just what was she in for?

As the door slid open the site that greeted her eyes was definitely not what she expected. Immediately her senses became overwhelmed by the laughter, the smoke, the music, and the buzzing of countless voices. Stepping out of the elevator Buffy saw several people milling in the large entryway. Looking about she observed people laughing and conversing in small groups. As she passed them, the strangers coolly glanced at her before diverting their attention elsewhere.

What? Do I look that out of place here?

Two young women sensuously danced with each other in the middle of the room. Both were tall and nubile and seemingly unaware of everyone else. Their bare feet moved on top of the tiled griffon, while their long gauzy skirts flashed glimpses of their fit and supple legs. Their light, curly hair floated in the air as they softly caressed each other. It was obvious they were lovers.

As Buffy slowly walked by them, she couldn’t help but feel another infernal flush creep up. This was the first time she had ever seen women together. On one hand, she wanted to pretend that she never saw one touch the other on her breast. On the other hand, she couldn’t help but want to watch. It was all so...

...different.

For a moment both women stopped their heated movements, turning to look at Buffy. Her steps involuntarily froze, she could not have moved even if someone yelled “Fire!”. Intently they peered at her, running their vivid green gazes up and down her body. Buffy’s flush grew brighter and her breathing uncomfortably quickened. Her temporary paralysis melted away, leaving her feeling much like a commodity.

Their slim hands began caressing each other again, teasingly, as the two women thoroughly inspected Buffy. Without any movement on their part they made her feel as if she had just been stripped completely naked. In defense she crossed her arms over her chest and said “Jeez! Did you get enough to look at?” The two women then let low chuckles of amusement before passionately kissing each other, effectively dismissing Buffy from their own world.

Quickly walking away Buffy felt disturbed that they had that affect on her. She had never been attracted to women and she wasn’t really sure if she was attracted now, but there was something so compelling about the two. Frightening and attractive. Strange...

Climbing up the stairs she noticed that the remains of Angelus’ doors had been taken down. Now it was simply an open archway---one that was filled with many bodies. Politely nudging her way through she wondered why he even wanted her here. It was obvious he wasn’t lonely. Picking her way down the stairs she stepped aside one seated couple after another.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs she casually looked around the room. People of all ages were everywhere. By the windows, along the walls, on the chairs and couches. Even his dining table was filled---a couple of women were lounging on its’ veneered surface while several men sat in the massive, intricately carved chairs.

Amazingly it wasn’t packed because of the size of the room, but there were still an incredible amount of people. Buffy finally gave up counting after seventy-five. In all this crush she felt lost. Where was he? She could feel him, but then again she couldn’t. It was as if she were trying to pinpoint one signal in a sector filled with hundreds.

Wearily she rubbed her temples. It was so overwhelming. The noises in her head came and went. At times she couldn’t hear anything and then suddenly she was flooded with ten different conversations all at once. Suddenly someone bumped into her, jostling her from the flood. Looking up Buffy absently murmured “Sorry”, thankful that the noise receeded. An older man dressed in a dark blue suit stopped and murmured “Pardon ma belle.”

Expecting him to move on she was surprised that he had stopped. Wow, he looks like a banker with that suit, what would he be doing here? And he speaks French too... Buffy thought as she said “It’s okay. I’m sorry but my french is tres mal.”

Charmingly the man bent over her hand and lightly brushed his lips against it. In a delightfully accented voice he replied “A beautiful woman need not have any trouble communicating to the lesser of the two genders. She need but smile like you and all is inconsequential.”

Pick-up line or what? Even so, it was definitely a change from the Hey baby, blah, blah, blah. Softly smiling she looked up into his eyes. What she saw there made Buffy inwardly draw back. While his manners were nice and even his appearance was pleasing, there was a deadness within the crystalline depths. It was as if there was absolutely nothing there: no fear, no love, no hate. Nothing. Even the demons she had encountered hadn’t been this dead. Watching the man’s lips move, she heard him ask “Would you like a drink ma belle?”

Stammering Buffy answered “N-no. I’m m-meeting someone. Thanks”, eager to put distance between herself and the french banker type. Before he could say another word she plunged her way through the shifting crowd, confident that the man would not bother following her. That would require emotion, something she was sure he did not have.

Soon Buffy forgot the strange man in the reality that surrounded her. Everywhere she looked someone was drinking, smoking, or snorting. Some did all three. Buffy felt horribly uncomfortable. Regardless of being a teenager, she hardly had the one-way pass to hard partying. The most she had ever done was drink one beer and even that made her sick. She had never even seen coke in person, nor had she ever seen someone snort it off of a woman’s thigh.

Just say no people.

Coming further into the room she listened to the music playing in the background. It had a throbbing pulse with an overlay of a husky french woman’s voice. She liked it, it was never anything she ever heard at the Bronze. Angelus and techno, who would have ever thought it?

Her musings were broken when a high-pitched laugh from far away echoed in her ear. Following the sound Buffy saw a stunning woman sitting on the lap of a handsome, muscular young man. They were striking and simply pleasurable to look at. The two looked like they could have hopped right off the cover of a fashion magazine.

The woman idly played with a long, luminous string of pearls while her ebony blunt-cut hair gently swayed with every movement. As she bent closer to her companion, the tips brushed against her beautiful cheek bones, emphasizing the delicate pallor of her skin. Her equally stunning blond, GQ model rubbed his broad hand against her bare thigh while he whispered naughty things in her ear.

Buffy’s mouth went a little dry at seeing the two so obviously aroused. They reminded her of how erotic the male and female body could be together. Mesmerized her gaze lingered on the constant motion of his hand on the smooth, white thigh. Flashes of heat touched her, making her wish that Angelus was right there by her side. Unwillingly Buffy’s hearing sharpened until she could hear the golden man huskily promise to “Fuck you in the ass until you come...”

Letting out a small squeal Buffy blindly looked elsewhere. Rapidly her feet moved away until their conversation became lost in the party’s. His words repeated over and over in her mind. Fuck you in the ass...Fuck you in the ass...Fuck you in the ass... Buffy was scandalized and horribly curious. She couldn’t believe that straight people did that. And what she couldn’t believe on top of that was that the dark haired woman liked it! Her parting words were a husky “Do you promise?”

Buffy just never knew that a man and a woman did that, she just naively thought men did that with each other. Apparently not just men---now she knew it for sure.

It frightened her. Not the act itself, but the fact that she was intrigued...

The crowd parted and swelled, enveloping Buffy with each shift. Aimlessly she wandered around, taking it all in and feeling more and more uneasy. Everywhere she looked she saw a mixture of beautiful people dressed in beautiful clothing. Not all where beauties in the classic sense, but in every person she looked at, there was some elusive yet alluring quality. Even in those that would be deemed ugly, there was a certain fascination that still held the eye.

Looking down at her own clothes Buffy felt horribly awkward. She wore black jogging pants, a dark blue tank top---all covered with a dark blue nylon jacket. Her careless ponytail seemed to sag with each second while she wistfully observed a head with lovely curled hair. While no one seemed to give her any particular attention, at times she felt as if a million eyes were boring into the back of her. Everytime she turned around---no one was watching. She tried to shake it off as nerves, but she wasn’t so sure.

The more time she spent here, the more she knew she was well out of her league. This wasn’t a hey my parents are out of town high school party nor was it even a party till we puke frat party. Compared to this, those were pretty tame. On the outside maybe not, but in the midst it all, there was an undercurrent that made Buffy feel as if the whole room shared a joke, and she wasn’t in on it.

Maybe she was the joke.

The drugs were harder, the drink was liquor not beer, and the vibe was of bored sophistication. These people had done it all and had probably invented a few things on their own. Rubbing her arms she thought I guess this is how Europeans party. Somehow her little quip lacked the lightheartedness.

Scanning the room she did not see Angelus. In the midst of all these people, Buffy felt lonely and lost. Biting her lip she fiercely missed Angel. He would never associate with these cold people, much less have a party with them, nor would he live in a mausoleum like this.

They would be patrolling together or maybe even relaxing in his apartment. He would be sitting across the table from her, being the perfect host and offering her tea. Her lips twisted in a sad smile as she thought I hate tea. I never had the heart to tell him.

Nonetheless, Buffy always drank it all. He made it for her and that was all the reason she needed. She missed his own awkwardness. She missed the shy smile he would sometimes flash her. Angel was safe. Safe. He helped make her world safe. He always tried to take care of her, even if she didn’t want him to. She wished she had let him do it more often. Now she had no one to take care of her. No one to save her from him.

Night and day. Good and evil.

Angel liked spending one-on-one time. He liked being on the edge of a crowd, not in the middle of one. Angel wore simple clothes, nothing too flashy and nothing that cost more than her mom’s mortgage. And certainly never Armani. Angelus on the other hand...

The crowd shifted for a moment when she finally saw the fallen one. Angelus was standing near the fireplace, under the life-size ballerina, obviously being amused if the smirk was any indication. His jacket and tie had been discarded, leaving him only in his shirt and pants. The gleaming white shirt was open at the throat, exposing the smooth, perfect skin underneath. His hair was slightly disheveled, with a couple of strands falling to brush against his forehead.

Buffy’s body immediately went into the familiar overdrive. A pain coursed and stung each of her pulse points, while her blood riotously began chanting for him. Her mouth went dry as her eyes feasted upon his dark beauty. He was the epitomy of masculine beauty: graceful, sleek and deadly. Despite her better judgement she would have crossed the room for him, pushing her way past countless bodies, in order to be with him.

However he wasn’t alone and that, only that, stopped her from making a fool out of herself.

In one hand Angelus held a cut-crystal glass, the deep amber of the drink occassionally flaring in the firelight. The other hand was casually draped across the shoulder of a petite asian woman. The lovely creature was even shorter than Buffy, her tiny height emphasized by Angelus’ broadness and height. Her skin glowed with a luminescent beauty against the strapless scarlet gown she wore. The occasional smile revealed perfect teeth and the hand that she placed on Angelus’ glass showed gorgeous manicured nails. Without complaint he relinquished the glass to the woman.

Looking down Buffy glanced at her own short nails. The nailpolish she applied was already chipped in a few spots. Compared to HERS’, they definitely had the look of an amateur home-job. Shoving her hands in her jacket pockets, Buffy instantly hated the woman. BITCH! Just as quickly her animosity fled. Why should she be angry with her? After all it was Angelus who was allowing her to drink out of his glass, it was Angelus who had his arm around her, it was Angelus who...

As she watched, Buffy felt a sickness twist and rend her stomach. Why should she care who he touched? Why should she care that he had just taken that woman’s lips to his own and obviously stuck his tongue down her throat? It wasn’t like he was her boyfriend. But then:

So what?!!

He’s still mine! I don’t want him being with someone else while he’s with me. Screw that! I don’t want him with anyone ever! He’s supposed to just want me... Turning away Buffy fought to control the desolation that suffocated her as she recognized the possessiveness she felt for Angelus.

It’s not supposed to be this way. Oh my God, it hurts. It HURTS.

It did hurt. It hurt seeing him with someone else. No one does that to me. No one. The anger sparked and flared within her breast, drowning out the pain, but not the sorrow. Shouldering her way through the crowd Buffy fled up the stairs, tears blurring her keen vision. Ignoring the speculative glances as she made way to the elevator.

I never, EVER want to see him again! It’s not enough that he got me on my knees for him, he let my mom flirt with him, he orders me to come here, and for what? To show off that he found someone else? Fleeing to the entrance she repeatedly pushed the elevator button. Impatiently she waited for the keypad to open. The silver surface finally slid open with a hiss.

She had only punched in the first two numbers before she felt a hand close over hers. "Leaving so soon darling? You just got here..." Buffy could feel a pair of legs brush against the back of her thighs, while an arm encircled her waist. Closing her eyes, for the briefest moment, she felt him gently kiss the back of her neck. For a moment, a tiny moment, her body arched against his, the pleasure she felt a highly visible thing. Then she remembered.

Wrenching away from him she turned around to face him before spatting “Don't touch me!"

"Too little, too late since I've touched you everywhere lover. Well, almost everywhere..." he drawled.

"Go to hell and stay there next time” she growled, angry at the carnal memories he awoke.

“My, my aren’t we a bitch tonight...” he coolly admonished.

Her eyes closed to the merest slits as she countered with “My, my aren’t we a slut tonight...”

Casually he observed the way Buffy held her body in stiff lines. Emotional pain just radiated from her, despite the fury that clearly caused her little fists to be clenched. Already my sweet, you’re pain is so delicious. Let’s see how much more we can taste tonight. One corner of his well-shaped mouth turned up in a cruel smile. “Why Buff, whatever do you mean?”

Her mouth tightened before she turned away from him. Buffy started to push the code in again. Softly he growled “Stop it.”

Ignoring him she pushed in the last buttons. He immediately hit a button that canceled the entire code. Firmly she gritted out “I told you to leave me alone.”

“But Buff, why would I ever do that?” he innocently asked.

Fury exploded within Buffy. Not caring if anybody heard or saw her, she spun around and shouted “Fuck you! I get the fucking point---now go back to her! It's obvious that you were having such a great time with her! I'm SO sorry that you had to leave her precious side!”

Laughing derisively Angelus said “Oh, I take it you mean my lovely friend in red. Baby---I never knew you cared!”

“I don’t!”

“You don’t? You mean this isn’t,” reaching out he captured one drying tear on her face, “because of jealousy?” Deliberately he sucked the stained digit into his mouth.

“No it's not!" she swore, never wanting to admit the truth to him. "I’m not someone you can treat like this. Bargain or not---I won’t let you sleep with me if you’re with her or anyone else.” Mimicking his words from nights earlier she said "I won't play Angel to your Lady Fiona."

“Buff---we’re not married nor are we going to get married. You’re not the little woman and I’m not your husband.” he spoke slowly, as if trying to reason with a toddler.

Buffy’s face flooded with heat as the fury pounded her with dizzying waves. The silver ring that she slipped on that night dug into her skin as her knuckles turned white. “I’m not having this conversation with you anymore. I see why you told me to come here---”

“Oh you do? What do you think you know?” he silkily asked.

Sneering she spat “Drop it lover! You’re trying to make me feel like a sex toy---a replacable one.”

“Aren’t you?” he smugly asked, his mouth drawn into his ever-present smirk.

SMACK!

Buffy slapped Angelus with so much force that his head snapped to the side from the force of her blow. Tears pricked her eyes as she gritted out “It’s over. Deal’s off. I’ll take care of my own, I never needed to fear you to begin with. The bargain’s over.”

All movement in the house seem to stop and watch their drama unfold. Buffy could hear the shocked gasps and could feel the avid curiosity from the spectators. His eyes grew hard with a cold fury as he gingerly fingered his cheek.

Buffy waited for the blow to fall. She tensed, her every muscle ready to keep him from harming her. Their eyes met and held for several long moments. Finally Angelus turned away from Buffy and gave a low bow to the room at large. “As you can all see, I do like my pets feisty.” The room broke out into titters as Buffy gasped with outrage. “However, if you’ll excuse us...”

With that he firmly gripped her arm and dragged her behind him. Up the stairs they went while Buffy pulled back, trying to free herself from his iron grasp. Spiteful amused glances burned into her while her dignity quickly began to unravel.

“You may not care that you look like an idiot right now, but I DO!”

“Let go of me now, I’m serious!”

“I’m not going to let you---stop it!”

Angelus merely dug his fingers into her wrist and lengthened his stride. Seeing the doorway, Buffy whipped her hand out and hung on. Her arm felt as if it were about to be pulled out of the socket as he kept walking, but she stubbornly kept hold. Angelus finally stopped and gave her arm a sharp tug while saying “Stop being a brat Slayer. Let go.” Mutely she shook her head and held on tighter.

Her Slayer skills seemed to desert her, even as she desperately tried to call them forth. There were at least six areas of vulnerability that she could attack but for some reason, Buffy could not bring her body to actively damage his. Sick dread settled within her as she intuitively knew the change was the cause of her weakness.

What will I do if I can’t fight him? Ever? Schooling her face to one of reason, trying to keep her fears at bay, Buffy calmly said “Angelus, you’re being a dork right now. I don’t want you near me, be a man, demon, or whatever, and accept that.”

He gave her arm a brutal yank, squeezing her hand tightly in his own. Gasping from the burning pain she looked up and changed tactics. “Okay, so you’re not into acceptance. Just let go of me and I’ll come with you on my own.” Yeah right

Before Angelus could reply, a bland voice suggested “You might as well let go girlie. He’ll have you whether you like it or not. Our Angelus isn’t known for patience, so why don’t you let go now, huh? Either that or you lose your arm. But if you’re too stupid, we can use the entertainment...” This was greeted by a chorus of agreement.

Buffy blanched at the bloodlust that flared up in those around her. The man who said those oh-so-encouraging words, held a martini glass in one hand while propping himself against the doorway that she held on to. Throwing a dark look his way, Buffy caustically said “Sorry buddy, but not this time. Why don’t you go find another drink you lush.” The stranger just held up his glass in a salute before draining it and making himself more comfortable.

What kind of people were these? Shouldn’t they be trying to help her? Instead they milled about, jostling to get the best vantage point to see what would happen next. The cold looks in their eyes belied the smiles and laughter. Buffy coud tell that they weren’t vampires, but then again, that didn’t mean they were human.

If so, these were the most fucked up people she had ever been around.

Looking away from the eager crowd, she looked back at Angelus. Mocking amusement gleamed in his eyes as he purred “Who looks like the idiot now baby? You should listen to them---many of them know me best.”

“Like your friend in red?” Bufffy’s chin went up in a gesture as she peered over his shoulder. “Looks like she not too happy right now. Why don’t you go make up with her? You’ll have a better chance with her than with me. At least with her you’ll score. Me? Never again.”

Looking over his shoulder Angelus glanced at the woman before turning back to Buffy. “You think so? Hmmm...who cares? She knows her place, she knows better than to interfere with my pleasure. Besides, I’ve already had her, it’s you I want now. What I want Buff, I always get. Always.”

Buffy blanched with the confirmation of his intimacy with the woman. Drawing in a shaky breath she felt an excrutiating pain pierce her heart. Oh my God, how can I hurt this much? I don’t love him. I don’t care about him. Only Angel. Only him.

“You’ve had her? And you’re stupid enough to just tell me?” Letting out a humorless chuckle she asked “Don’t you know how tacky it is to kiss and tell? What makes you think I care what you want now? The bargain’s off, that’s it.”

“You can’t back out little girl. Don’t you get it yet? We’re in this together Slayer, for better or worse. Don’t test me darling, you won’t like the results.”

“Or what? You’ll come after my friends or maybe my Mom? Oh that’s right, you’ll probably do that anyways. At least my mom.” she said in a saccharine sweet tone.

“Don’t begrudge your mother company Buff. She’s still an attractive woman, radiant and lovely, despite the obvious stress of raising a brat like you.”

“If I’m such a brat, then why do you even bother being around me? And it doesn’t matter how pretty my mom is, she’s still my MOM! Just because of that alone, you gross me out!”

“If I wanted your mother, you would both know it. But that’s not the case my little idiot. Paranoia doesn’t become you Buff, it makes you look desperate.”

“Paranoid? Isn’t that your middle name Angelus? And insecure---that one goes next. Angelus Paranoid Insecure...no wait, it should be Angelus Insecure Paranoid Demon Spawn. That has an evil ring to it, don’t you agree?”

“Aspire for something else Slayer, comedy isn’t your strong suit.”

“Look---why don’t you let go of my hand and you won’t have to see me at all. I can see what a busy demon you are---I don’t want to be apart of your swinging lifestyle. Alright?” I just want to go home and cry. AND I don’t want to cry in front of you.

Taking a deep unneeded breath Angelus patiently said “Buff. Slayer. Why is there the need for all this? Isn’t it enough that I want you? Just be a good girl and let go.”

“Are you obtuse?! I don’t care if you say you want me! It’s obvious that you want everyone BESIDES me. You were the one who left me in the bathroom. You were the one who preferred talking to my mother, treating me like some pre-schooler. AND you were the one who had a midget hanging all over you!”

Coming in closer, his other hand easily pried her fingers off the doorway while whispering in her ear “How’s it feel Slayer?”

“What do you mean?” Buffy gasped as he yanked her away, hauling her small body up next to his. They were now at the same eye level, one of his arms firmly around her waist, effectively trapping Buffy’s arms between them. He could have moved her from the doorway anytime he wanted. Why did she even bother struggling?

Easily walking down the steps with her in his arms, Angelus softly interrogated Buffy with “How does it feel to be made a fool out of? How does it feel to see the person who you share yourself with...share with someone else?”

The two questions struck her deeply with their veiled accusations. One would think that it was HE who had been betrayed, not her. Slowly she said “I’ve never shared with anyone. I won’t share. Not even something like you.”

“Don’t avoid the question. How does it feel to be betrayed? Does it make you want to puke? Does it make you want to lay down and die? Does it make you want to weep and wail before driving a stake through my heart?”

“I’d have to care about you first. And yes, you do make me want to puke, but only because I have to be this close to you.”

“The more you insult me, the more I know how much I really get to you. So if you want to continue this tough girl act of yours, tone it down baby.” Buffy mutinously remained quiet.

Holding her tightly, Angelus walked through the cavernous room, the throbbing pulse of the music forcing him to place his lips next to her ear. Continuing he questioned “What does it feel like Slayer? How does it feel to know that I’ve been with the lovely Lina? How does it feel to know that I’ve touched her in all the same places I’ve touched you?”

Unwillingly Buffy had an image of the two together. She saw their naked bodies sprawled against each other. She saw the now named Lina kissing Angelus’ body, giving him the pleasure that only belonged to her---Buffy.

Closing her eyes tightly she tried to keep the tears from welling. Behind her lids they burned fiercely, battling with the burning in her stomach. He was right. She did want to vomit. Thickly she asked “When?”

“Does it matter?”

New pain lashed through her. Her emotions were so close to the surface. Too close. No, I won’t let him know how much it hurts. I won’t let him know. A catch sounded in Buffy’s voice as she desperately asked “Why are you doing this? What are you trying to prove? Do you just want to fuck me, is that it? Fine. Do it. I don’t care, but just leave me alone!”

Relentlessly Angelus demanded “Answer me: how does it feel?”

Looking over his shoulder she focused on the people around her, wanting to put Angelus away from her. It was as should be expected: people were enjoying themselves. It was a party before she saw him, it was still a party now that she was being carried away by him. Across the room no one paid attention to them, but the ones immediately around her hungrily stared.

“Look at me.”

Shaking her head she said “No.” She couldn’t look at him, if she did, she was lost.

“Do it darling. Look---at---me.”

His command was so gently spoken, compelling her to obey him. Something inside of Buffy shifted, wanting to comply. I can’t look at him. He’ll know everything if I do. But...I can’t say no. The fear she felt tasted bitter in her mouth as she raised her eyes to his.

The crowd seamlessly parted, their gazes lingering on the human and vampire. The lust and pain between the two was so drawing to these damned creatures. They yearned for the perfection of human feeling, wanting to exploit it and drain it for their own hungers.

Many lusted after the blond, feeling her fear and her pain. Others craved the tall vampire, wishing he was holding them with such tender possessiveness. What would it be like to be apart of the tapestry of dishonor between them, the room wondered at large.

Buffy couldn’t see the crowd anymore. Helplessly staring into his fathomless eyes Buffy felt so vulnerable. She knew all the emotions he wanted to read were easily there for him to steal. She allowed her lids to close, hoping to keep her secrets longer. “Don’t shut me out! Open your eyes!” he ruthlessly growled, the gentleness completely gone.

She shook her head while whispering “No”. She could not let him see how much he hurt her tonight. She could not let herself be that vulnerable.

Goading her he taunted “You called me the slut, but that better suits you don’t you think? After all, you’re the one who allows others to sniff around you---like dogs after a bitch in heat.”

“How can you say that? I wasn’t the one who had his tongue shoved down someone else’s throat!” she tensely pointed out. Her face became cold, concealing the bleeding rivulets of betrayal inside herself.

“And that hurts you doesn’t it?”

“No! It’s just---” she desperately denied

“Just what?”

“Don’t you care how much of a neanderthal you’re being are right now? Carrying me off, when everyone knows I don’t want you. All your friends must feel real sorry for you” she snidely said, trying to anger him enough to stop this dangerous line of questioning.

“Why should I care? You belong to me. Everyone in this room knows it as well as I do.”

“I don’t belong to you! How can you ever think that anyone BELONGS to anyone?”

“Because you do. Your blood knows it. Your body knows it. Only you’re conscience is keeping you from acknowledging it. But you will. Tonight is just another night to prove it.” Hungrily he caught her lips with, nipping the soft flesh until it reddened. Drawing back he murmured “To prove that the Slayer belongs to a demon.”

Jerking her head away she stared at him in horror. “I do not!”

“The pain you feel is just one of a thousand links between us Slayer. The agony you feel when you remember that Lina and I have been carnal---”

Her stomach clenched at hearing his confession. Again. Fury immediately tore through her---she would not let him do this to her. Throwing caution to the wind, Buffy spitefully explained “I don’t care who YOU”VE been with. It’s just that I care about Angel’s body! I don’t care what YOU do, only what you do in his body---”

Finally angered he stopped in the middle of the room and gritted out “It’s all about Angel with you?”

“Always” she softly swore.

“We’ll see” he furiously promised. Before she realized what was happening, Angelus threaded his fingers in Buffy’s ponytail, yanked her head back, and sank his fangs deep within the side of her throat. An blinding explosion took place within her body. Excrutiating pleasure battled with the pain and humiliation of being fed on. Greedily he drank from her, his grip crushing. Her fingers dug into his side while her mouth fell open.

Buffy’s body erupted in orgasm as the feeding reached its’ pinnacle. Bright flashes of light flared behind her closed eyes as she clutched Angelus tighter. The ecstasy enveloped her, drowning her beneath a heavy flood of crimson blood and black pleasure.

The dull roar filled her ears, barely being recognizable as the sounds of sharp clapping and the crystal tinkling of many glasses coming together. Buffy could feel Angelus’ sharp kiss leave her while his arms left her also. Weakly she slipped against him, falling to the floor. Her breath came in sharp pants while she rested her head against his knee. She could feel him looking at her, waiting for whatever confession he needed.

One that she was unwilling to give to him.

She felt so ashamed and so confused. She was ashamed because she was the Slayer yet she allowed a vampire to feed off of her. She was confused because he made her feel so good. It was wrong, it had to be, but...now she was dying to have more of him. She felt incomplete, it wasn’t enough.

“Tell me lover, is it Angel who has you panting, or me?”

Mutely she lifted her head and looked into his darkly handsome face. “Please...” Please don’t make me tell. Please touch me. Please take me with you. Please take my choices away. Please give me what I want. Please...

“Is Angel the one who made you come? Is Angel the one who’s going to fuck you tonight?”

“No” she whispered, acknowledging that she needed him tonight, regardless of her promises.

“So it’s not all about Angel, is it?”

Buffy opened her mouth to speak before closing it. Instead she turned her head to the side and brushed her lips against his leg, uncaring that strangers looked on. “Not good enough lover. Tell me how it feels.”

Hanging her head down, she moved away from him. What does he want from me? Why does he want to hear how much it hurts me? Bringing her knees up Buffy laid her head down. “I don’t want to. I can’t" she mumbled.

Angelus stood there, his hands completely relaxed at his side, watching the Slayer break down. “One more chance baby.”

“What do you want to know?! I-I don’t feel anything for you. I don’t.”

Angelus coldly smiled. “Alright Buff, we can play this way too.” Lifting her up, he began kissing the spot that had recently nourished him. Buffy’s head fell back, giving him all the access he wanted. Hungrily he placed kisses all along her neck and jawline. Weakly she clutched his waist, feeling her body clamor for his.

His lips met hers, pillaging Buffy’s tender mouth with his tongue, forcing her to accept him. Standing on tiptoe she pressed her body against his, needing to feel more of him. Angelus reached up and pulled the rubberband out of her hair before plunging his fingers through her golden strands.

Within seconds Buffy was mewling against his mouth, desperate to be with him. “Angelus...I want you...please...”

In response he picked her up, causing her to wrap her legs around his waist. Clutching his shoulders, Buffy hungrily licked and bit his neck. Closing her eyes she moaned from the sheer pleasure of knowing the magic he would create using her body.

She soon felt him lower her body against a cold, flat surface. Her eyes flew open as she realized that they were not in his bedroom, but still in the midst of his party. “W-What---”

Placing his palms on either side of Buffy’s head, Angelus leaned down until his mouth was a few inches away from her own. “Since you won’t tell me how it feels, maybe you’ll show all of THEM.”

Wildly looking around her, she saw that she was lying on the massive dining table. People were still seated on all sides, the two women now lounging on the laps of two older men, their dead eyes a sharp contrast to their animated smiles and malicious whispers. Buffy felt the sting of fear wrap itself around her body. Looking back into Angelus’ cold face, she stated with disbelief “Not in front of them! You can’t do this!”

Entwining his hands with hers Angelus cheerfully said “Oh but lover---I am!”

Panicked she tried to buck him off of her, thrashing her body wildly. A large crowd gathered around the table, forcing Buffy to hear their words despite her terror.

“I’m so excited to see this...”

“I wonder if he’ll make her bleed...”

“Of course he’ll share her! Angelus is the perfect host...”

“You should’ve seen his palace in St. Petersburg...”

Clenching her eyes tightly she tried to force the crowd from her mind. She fought against Angelus with a desperate intensity while she struggled to keep their poisonous musings from suffocating her. Tears leaked from her eyes as sobs broke from her tightly pressed lips. He was going to rape her. Angelus was going to rape her in front of all these people.

I can’t move him! I can’t get him off me! He’s going to rape me and I can’t stop him! I CAN’T STOP HIM!!!

With renewed strength Buffy twisted and thrashed, her terror closing in on her body. “I’ll kill you! Do you hear me?! I’ll kill you if you do this!” Angelus didn’t answer her threats, just smiled as he easily kept her on the table. The murmur of voices announced their pleasure at seeing her fight a losing battle. How did this happen? her panicked-stricken mind shouted. Angelus merely held her down with his wrists, his strength hardly being tested.

Buffy continued to struggle for what seemed like hours, not giving up, until finally her body collapsed beneath his. Shutting her eyes tightly she began to cry silently, beyond caring that those around her would take joy from her tears. Tears were all she had left.

It took Buffy several moments to realize that Angelus was whispering his own words of comfort into her ear. “Ssshh...baby, there’s no need to cry....There’s no need to be shy...you have such a beautiful body...You won’t answer my question with words...answer me with yourself...Ssshh...”

Vainly trying to stop her sobs, Buffy gulped repeatedly. Between breaths she begged without threats, without pride “Angelus, I’m sorry...I’ll tell you whatever you want to know...I’ll say whatever you want me to say...Just don’t do this to me.”

Laying his head against her throat Angelus relished the feeling of her: so soft, so pliant beneath him. Her body’s precious fluid beckoned him, her taste never forgotten, but needed again. Dropping a light kiss on her misery tainted skin, he sorrowfully replied “If only I could Buff---but you left me with no choice. We have to see the end of this. The time for talking is over.”

“No! Angelus---I can’t do this! I can’t do this with all these PEOPLE watching. Please, I can’t!” she hoarsely whispered, her eyes pleading for a mercy that he did not possess.

Lifting his head up, he stared down into her wide frightened eyes. “You are SO fucking lovely when you cry, did you know that? One would be tempted to give you the world for just one of your tears.”

“Please Angelus...please...” she begged, hoping beyond hope that her abject sorrow would be enough for him.

Letting go of her hands Angelus stood up to his full height, fathomlessly watching every emotion flit across her face. Fear, hope, despair, need, hatred...FEAR. How he loved that simple emotion! Fear could bring down the mightiest, crushing all that stood in its’ path. Fear was almost as powerful a drug as sex itself.

Almost.

It was intoxicating to have the Slayer fearing him. The most powerful Slayer of recorded history feared HIM. But like all fine emotions, fear was nothing in itself without unwilling lust. Observing her disheveled figure Angelus felt a white-hot thread of fury stitch itself into him. Even now he could tell that she was wishing and praying for her Angel to save her.

Wishing that perhaps some of Angel’s humanity would force him to stop this. Praying for Angel to make him see how wrong this was. Tracing his eyes over her face, he noted the hesitant yet unshakable hope that he would relent. Thinking she still had a chance, Buffy softly whispered “Don’t do this to me. Anything but this” as crystal tears rolled down her cheeks.

Angelus could feel his jaw clenching until it ached. Try to manipulate him with her tears, while holding herself back from him, would she?! Let her wish and pray. Let her beg until her voice became raw. Let her plead with her lovely eyes until they rotted out.

No one was going to save her.

Buffy was going to pay for her indiscretions. She was going to pay for putting Angel above him. She was going to pay for not admitting how she felt about HIM. Like a stupid girl she thought she could play this game and not suffer losses. She would pay for so many sins against him. He’d been far too lienient with her. Already she was so spoiled and willful. She would learn and tonight’s lesson was just beginning.

Casually he began unbuttoning his shirt, his agile fingers removing his cuff links before tossing them onto the table with an audible clank. Wordlessly he tossed his shirt on the floor, his eyes boring into hers. She tried to reach him one last time. “Don’t do this. Not here.”

One side of his mouth lifted in a smirk. The crowd parted to let the crimson Lina stand next to Angelus. Silently she watched Buffy through emotionless eyes. She did not seem to enjoy the display but she did not seem to dislike it either. Buffy wanted to look away even as a new pain filled her heart. Lina was still holding his glass.

“Ah I see you’ve refilled my drink. You were always a thoughtful one Lina.” Taking the heavy crystal from her slender hand, he drank the contents in one gulp. Throwing the glass against the wall, Angelus laughed as it splintered and shattered. He flexed his shoulders in an unconscious gesture. “Do you think that her passion will overcome her shyness?” he musingly asked the revelers at large.

Immediately a wave of murmurs rose in assent. Horror glazed Buffy’s eyes. She could not believe what was happening. This was the real Angelus. Not the one who had tenderly nursed her feet. Not the one who had spent an entire night giving her pleasure. Not the one who had kept his word and spared her friends.

This was the REAL Angelus.

Seeing the inevitability of her situation Buffy closed herself off from him, from everyone around her. She retreated within, going to place where HE could not go. “No fair Buff. You’re doing that unemotional thing again! I want you to feel EVERYTHING.” Angelus jovially said as he first pulled her shoes and socks off, before yanking her pants down.

Docilely Buffy lay there, staring at the ceiling, while he slipped her jacket off. He can’t touch me...He can’t touch me... she silently chanted. She did not feel his hands enclose around her ankles, nor did she feel him pull her towards him. Blankly she stared at the ceiling, letting her vision swirl the burnished colors of amber and gold. Buffy did not feel his fingers trail up and down her slender legs.

Dimly she wondered as to how people painted the surface of the glass ceiling. Did they do it before or after it was fitted into place? It was really quite lovely. She never knew a place like this could be in Sunnydale. Buffy was deep inside herself, banishing all the ugliness of those around her. She did not feel him run his hands up her chest, lightly caressing her throat.

Fixated she stared at the sharpness of the whirling colors. Gleaming gold and rich amber danced an amorous ritual, swirling into each other only to break apart. How hypnotically they swayed! Around and around, together and apart. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Drops of vibrant green soon splattered into the seamless mixture, disrupting the enchanting order of the two colors. Where did the green come from? Suddenly it became very important for her to know.

Where did it come from?

Finding the source of the enchanting color of Erin would keep Buffy safe. It would keep her mind free from the defiling of her body. It would keep her sane. Sane until she was free to allow the insanity of rage take her. Free to be taken to a place where there was no compassion, no morals, no ethics. The only thing tangible would be rage itself. Clean in its’ destructiveness.

The glimmering well of colors began to shrink, only to expand again. Contract, expand, before contracting once more. Something was compelling her to look, to see the colors separate and apart of itself. Drawn Buffy allowed a tiny part of her mind to focus beyond herself, to find the source of the green, to understand how simple such beauty really was.

Suddenly she felt herself sucked away from safety, sucked away from the peacefulness of meaningless questions. Her ears became filled with the throbbing bass and mournful cry of the unknown singer’s music. Countless voices talked among themselves, their spiteful laughter interspersed with sighs and soft moans. Arching her chest in pain, Buffy saw Angelus above her. His face was tight with lust while his body moved against her own, reaching deep inside her.

The swirling colors she had seen were not the flat texture of paint, but the real clarity of his eyes. Demonic eyes that glowed with his hunger for her human flesh. This entire time she had been waxing about the beauty of his damned eyes! Fury racked her---there was no place she could go to escape him, not even the sanctity of her mind.

With an unwelcome awareness, Buffy realized that she was completely naked and being plowed by his body. She felt such an overwhelming sickness take her. He did it. He was using her on his table, exposing her to all the prying eyes in the world. What she held sacred and private, he flaunted to any and all who would see.

The wetness of tears rose to wash her eyes before being ruthlessly squashed and driven back. She would not cry this time. Not now. She would endure this. She would endure having him in her, and then she would happily endure the task of brushing his ashes from her. Change or not, the bonds of IT existing or not, Angelus would not live to see another night.

Contempt froze in her eyes, reaching out and stinging Angelus with frigidness. Slowing his movements down, he whispered in pleasure “Ahh, hate. I can FEEL your hate lover. Give me your hatred, loathe the sight of me...Hate ME.”

Silently she stared into his eyes, all feeling hidden into nothingness, not wanting to give him anymore pleasure than he had already stolen. “It’s too late Buff, you showed me your cards.” Sliding his hand down to grip her thigh he nuzzled the side of her face with his nose. “You’re telling me all I need to know.”

Closing her eyes, Buffy laid her head to the side, wanting an escape from his mocking tenderness. “You can turn away, you can try to shut me out, but I’m IN baby. I’m in you and I don’t mean like this.” Pulling himself out, Angelus slammed into her body, forcing Buffy’s body to arch in pain. Holding both of her unresisting wrists in one hand, he gently kissed her mouth. “Do you know what the opposite of love is?”

Unwillingly, even though she never wanted to speak to him (at least not until the moment before she impaled him with a stake) Buffy coldly answered “Hate.”

Purring against her neck Angelus held himself still, relishing the feel of her body and their audience. Lightly nipping the soft skin of her shoulder, he tasted the sweetness of his young lover, before laving the bite his tongue. “No darling. The opposite of love, the DEATH of love is not hate---it’s indifference. It’s not caring what your mate does, who your mate is, what your mate does with you. Or NOT with you.”

Raising up on his forearms he forced Buffy to look at him, to watch the fervent light glow in his eyes. “Hate is the twin of love, it is the reality of love. Love, LOVE Slayer, is the masquerade of HATE. It is the impostor, it is the fickle adulterer of human emotion. Why chase Love when you can trust in Hate? Hate transcends all. It is the air we breath, the lives we live, it is the true keeper of all that we are---human or otherwise.”

“What---are----you---saying?” she asked in a measured voice, already knowing his response.

“Hate me Buff. Hate me with every breath you take, but you will not be indifferent to me. Not because I command it, but because your soul demands it.”

“You want my love, don’t you?” Buffy asked in her coldest voice.

An unrecognizable emotion flickered in his eyes before being hidden away. “I don’t want your dishonesty. I want your truth.”

“I don’t care what you want. You wanted me, you took my body---but I choose to give you nothing.” Closing her eyes Buffy tried to force her mind to retreat.

Coming down Angelus whispered in her ear “You’re in pain, aren’t you? Even knowing what kind of man I am, you never thought I would do this to you. You could imagine me killing your followers, your Watcher, all the so-called innocents of this town. Even so, you still wanted me. You imagined me wanting your mother, and it infuriated you, but you still came here, didn’t you? But you could never imagine this, never this.”

“My question is: how could you not?” Lightly kissing the flesh of her neck he continued. “You know what I’m capable of, you’ve read what I’ve done, yet you’re still in pain. You can’t fathom how I can do this to you. You can’t comprehend why I would strip you naked in front of all my guests, spread you on my table, and fuck you.”

His words beat into her, lashing her with their intuitiveness. The hardness of the antique surface scored her flesh, prickling her to an unpleasant awareness of his body. She tried to stop Angelus’ words from reaching her, but they were as relentless as he.

“Don’t you see how I’ve given you a way out? Anyone else I’d fuck to death, but not you Slayer." Not yet. "Don’t you realize the honor I’ve given you?”

Buffy’s eyes flew open, angry disbelief shining clearly from their depths. “Honor? Honor? You call raping me an honor?”

Angelus looked down into her face for a moment before asking “Does it have to end as a rape?” Moving one of her wrists into his other hand, he stretched them above her head again. “Don’t you see how I’ve given you the chance to speak without words? To show me what you feel for me without awkwardness?”

“You’re insane!”

“Am I? Or is it perhaps everything I’m saying is complete and sane, and everything you’ve ever believed is lacking all sanity?”

Shaking her head Buffy whispered “You’re crazy! You’re absolutely insane!” In response Angelus moved against her, drawing his cock out before gently pushing in. Squeezing her hands into tight fists she promised “And you are SO dead.”

“Dead! Why Buff---you’ve just now realized it?” he wryly asked.

Tensing her body Buffy fought to control the revulsion and pain that she felt. She knew what he was! She knew what he was capable of! So why did it hurt so much that Angelus would do this?

"When are you going to stop being a victim?” he suddenly asked in a serious tone.

Taken aback she turned to look at him again. Placing his forearms on either side of her, Angelus completely enfolded her so that all she could see was him. His eyes were once again dark brown, their cold depths snapping with impatience. “Look at you: a fucking martyr! You lay here, suffering me, all the while thinking prattle like How can he do this to me? Oh! Woe is me!”

“What would you know about me? You don’t know shit Angelus!”

“I know all I need to know about you Slayer. In fact, I’d gamble to say that I know you better than yourself.”

Her eyes were like frozen pools of ice as she silently stared up at him.

“It makes you feel better to think that you have no choice in this. You can blame me for being stronger, for being more evil or whatever, but you’re completely to blame you know.”

“Yeah that’s what every rapist says.”

Ignoring her bitter words he lightly stated “You could’ve been honest and welcomed me but instead you forced me to punish you.”

“Punish me? This is what you call it?”

“Punishment for being dishonest.”

“Dishonest about what!?”

“How did it feel lover?”

“What do you want to know? WHY do you want to know?” Buffy cried in frustration.

“Admit what I mean to you. Admit how I’m not just Angel’s body, but a man in his own right. Admit that you want ME!”

“You’re not a man Angelus. You’ll never be a man. You’re just a demon.” she archly stated, cold triumph evident in the small smile that curved her pale lips.

Disbelief stamped itself across his face. Was she incredibly brave or just incredibly stupid?

Angelus thrust against her leisurely, causing her to wince in discomfort, while spitefully promising “I may never be a man, but at least I’ll always come out on top Slayer. Especially with you. Or should I say ON you?”

In response Buffy closed her eyes and allowed her head to roll to the side. I'll make him pay, somehow I'll make him PAY!

“You’re a coward Slayer. A fucking coward!” An angry scowl settled over his face, while his fingers dug into the skin of her wrists. “Fine, lay there then! Lay there like a helpless fool! Cut yourself off from me, make a lie out of who you are. Show everyone in this room what a pitiful lay you are! Let Lina laugh at you! Let her see what a weak, sorry excuse for a human you are! Let this room full of God’s abominations gloat over the fallen Slayer!”

“Aren’t you already doing that? What difference does it make what they think?”

Her brittlely spoken words made him pause. Easing off the brutal pressure from her wrists, Angelus began to softly massage them with his thumbs. In those two sentences Buffy thoughtlessly let him know exactly where she was emotionally. I’m almost there. I can feel it. Knowing that he was close, Angelus held the gloating tone in. Instead he unemotionally asked “Why do my actions mean more to you than theirs?”

Moving her head Buffy opened her eyes to look squarely at him. “Finish so I can leave.”

Goading her he coaxed “C’mon Buff, give me a better fight than this...”

“Fight! You don’t want a fight, you want me weaker than you. You want to---” Buffy’s voice became husky with tears as she tried to control the trembling in her voice. “Y-You want t-to do this.”

“Aww, look at the poor little girl cry. You’re breaking my heart, really you are” he cruelly exclaimed.

Finally she snapped.

Furious Buffy spat between gritted teeth “You want me to tell you how it feels? It makes me SICK to have you inside me! I can’t believe that there was a time when I thought you felt good! I can’t believe that I thought I would DIE if you didn’t touch me!” Leaning forward she finished with “Now I know that YOU will be the one dying for touching me like this!”

“You want to see me dead?”

“Yes!”

“You want me to die for forcing myself on you?”

“Yes!”

“You want to kill me for kissing Lina, knowing, FEELING you were here?”

Tears of fury glittered in her eyes as she shrieked “YES! I hate you for it! I hate you for fucking her! I want you both dead!”

Pure triumph shined in his eyes as an unholy smile transformed his face to pure masculine beauty. “Baby...” he crooned as he sought to cover her lips with his own. Enraged she jerked her head away. Determined he patiently followed her until his mouth settled over hers. Buffy bit into his mouth; this only caused him to moan with delight.

She could not understand this turn of events. What was he doing? She didn’t want him to do this to her! It was too late to kiss and make up. He raped her in front of all these damned people. Did he think that a peck here and there would make it all better? Listening to him purr with pleasure Buffy hissed as he bit down on her sensitive lower lip. But then again, he didn’t care about making things better with her---so what did he want now?

Pulling away from her reddened mouth Angelus delicately kissed the line of her jaw before traveling to her vulnerable throat. Buffy stared at the ceiling, desperately working at keeping her abused body from acknowledging his tender ministrations. Her forehead became damp as she unwillingly felt him caress her breasts, taking the soft nipples into his mouth before tenderly scraping his teeth across them.

“Stop it!” she cried out, not expecting him to comply.

Laving her hardening nipple with his tongue, he brought his head back to Buffy’s mouth. Gently kissing her cheek he whispered “Do you want to be the victim some more? Or do you want to play?”

“I don’t want you on me, I’m not interested in playing anymore of your fucked up games!”

“Buff, do you want everyone in this room to remember you as the little blond that I screwed on my dining room table, or do you want to be remembered as the first human to walk away from me alive?”

Buffy felt a shiver of fear at his veiled threat. He couldn’t kill her, could he? Not because he gave a damn but because of the prophesy. Buffy he might have almost killed you once. You don’t know exactly what Acrymydion is coming after---a Slayer or something else. Lifting her chin up she coldly asked “Is that a threat?”

Smirking he fervently denied “No, I wouldn’t threaten you Buff! Do you wanna play or are you going to forfeit?”

How can she just go along with this? How can she even contemplate this thought? Especially after what he’s been doing to her! “I can’t play anymore Angelus, what you took---”

“Does the Slayer break this easily?” he taunted.

She felt so helpless, so trapped. Wordlessly she stared at him, feeling her hatred rise again. He claimed that hate was the sister of love, she didn’t believe him. If she could give into her hatred he would explode into ash right now.

He would, but after it was over, then what would you do Buffy? You would scramble trying to keep his ashes together, before wanting to die yourself. her inner voice spoke with disquiet. His choice was simple if devastating: respond or die. Her choice was this: none.

“Let go of my wrists” she ordered.

Giving her a measured look Angelus paused before evilly smiling. Releasing her wrists he allowed his hands to travel down the length of her arms. Teasingly he scraped his nails against the smooth skin of her breasts. Harshly panting Buffy tried to control her body’s trembling, a trembling not borne out of passion but fear.

She tried to force the memory of his violation away, tried to make her body feel pleasure but it was an impossible task. How could she? How could she ever feel anything but loathing for him? He used her in front of his guests, showing them what should never be shown. He took away her choice and used her for the enjoyment of all these people.

Their enjoyment was a tangible living thing..

All the surrounding revelers were barely holding themselves in check. The combined scent of their arousals permeated the air. Focusing on the people seated a few feet away from her, Buffy felt so exposed, so humiliated. One woman’s hand was underneath the table, obviously doing naughty things if the the man’s expression was any indication.

“Let go of your inhibitions.” A soft voice floated towards her through the pulsing music and buzzing of the decadent crowd. Moving her eyes towards the source Buffy’s gaze locked with Lina’s. Her lips barely moved and the voice was hardly that of a whisper but Buffy heard her clearly. “Angelus is showing you mercy by giving you this choice. Don’t be a stupid girl holding on to foolish pride. We’ve all seen you and there’s nothing to change that.”

Buffy’s voice was just as low as she replied “He raped me, there’s no mercy there Lina.” Angelus hungrily nuzzled her neck, hearing her words and those of Lina’s but with no intention of interference.

“There are worst things than that---” came the emotionless response.

Angrily cutting in Buffy hissed “Like what?” Angelus began nipping the small shell of her ear, causing goosebumps to stand out all over her body.

“He could’ve tied you spread-eagle on that table and allowed every creature here to take his pleasure of you. But he did not, he kept you for himself. He could have taken your body and sliced it to ribbons for your infidelity---”

“Infidelity?! I was nice to a waiter! That was it.”

“Any time you keep yourself from your lover, anytime that you acknowledge another as a sexually being is an infidelity to him. Haven’t you learned that yet?”

“Why do you care Lina? Shouldn’t you be glad that he’s doing this to me? Don’t you want him back?” Angelus chuckled at Buffy’s words, moving up her body to lightly kiss her cheeks before claiming her mouth. Teasingly he thrust his tongue in and out, mimicking what his body would do later. Tearing her mouth away she found Lina again, determined to hear her answer.

A sad smile flitted across the smooth, unlined face for the barest moment. “I had him once or rather he had me. I was foolish and I lost. So believe me when I tell you that he’s shown you more mercy than he’s ever shown to any other.”

“So you’re telling me to just forget about it. To just let him win. I can’t do that.”

Lina digested Buffy’s words. Carefully she walked closer until she was less than a foot away. Crouching down she was soon on level with the surface of the table. "You have such power, don't you see?" Angelus stopped his lazy caress of Buffy's body and pinned Lina with an enigmatic gaze. Wordlessly he looked away from her and continued scraping his teeth across Buffy's collarbone.

Lina's eyes cautiously glanced at Angelus before looking once more at Buffy. “No, I’m telling you SURVIVE. I’m telling you to fight, only then do you have a chance. Live or Die. It’s your choice little one. You can’t beat him, not now...maybe not ever. But you must try. You can hold onto your pain, nurse your wounds, but you must put it behind you. For tonight. Tonight you must survive. If you cannot---Angelus’ mercy will end and you will no longer be considered worthy enough to fight. Do you want that?”

“How do you know so much Lina? What are you?” Angelus dropped a soft kiss on her forehead, before turning his body slightly. He laid his head on Buffy’s so both were watching the lovely dark-eyed woman.

The beauty stood up, silent for a moment, a yearning flaring deep within her eyes, before disappearing behind a shell of indifference. “I am something that is tied to her crime and her weakness for eternity. Don’t be foolish like I once was.” With that she turned away and melted into the crowd. Buffy felt the finger of pity touch her as she thought about Lina’s words. She had as much admited that she was a demon of some sort. But there was no maliciousness in her. Weren't all demons malicious by nature?

“She was always quite wise, even for her age. Pity things ended the way they did.”

Angelus' negligent voice broke into her thoughts, causing her to move her head from his. “And how was that Angelus?”

Raising himself up again, he ignored her question and asked one of his own. “Are you ready to play or not?”

Buffy glared at him, hating him for being what he was. She hated him...

Yet Lina's words of warning couldn't be ignored. Survival was what she encouraged, and she was right. Live to fight another night.

“Ahh lover, I’m so pleased to see you’re back in the game.”

Use him like he used you. It won’t mean anything she silently commanded herself. Leaning forward Buffy pressed her lips against his, forcing her tongue into his mouth. Empty passion made her link her arms around his neck while the crowd announced its’ approval. Few made their way closer to the table, sighing with want. To see one of their own humiliate a human had been sinfully pleasurable, but to see the same human respond despite it all---pure divinity.

Angelus felt the headiness of his triumph almost overwhelm him. He could still smell her fear, her could still feel her pain. Her tiny hands lay about his neck, not fisting his hair as was her wont, but placed limply. He knew her passion well enough to know that this was not a true showing, but he did not mind. The fact was simply this: he won.

He played and won. There had been a chance that he could have taken this untried girl too far tonight or that he could’ve lost his control and completely ravaged her body beyond repair. But he did not. He did not feel the same call of the century before to destroy the offering under his body. He did not feel the sway of the crowd manipulate him to damage Buffy. At least physically. He had kept control and he had won.

Ah, the glorious moment of now...

The Slayer was forcing herself to put aside his past actions, to put aside her feelings and her morals. The little human beneath him was putting aside her ‘fucking’ pain just so she could fuck him now. Buffy was forcing herself to want him, even though it was the last thing in the world she wanted to do, and all for what?

Because he would kill her? Because Lina gave her a pep-talk?

No, not his Slayer. She forced herself to this degradation because she wouldn’t be broken yet. She was too stubborn to be broken so early. It pleased him immensely simply because he could play with his beautiful toy a little longer. This was the first test and she had survived. Now it was just a matter of how much would the Slayer suffer for her tormentor.

Feeling himself thicken inside her, Angelus gave a growl of arousal. Buffy flinched against him but she continued to caress him with her lips. That’s a good girl... Even now he could feel her strength returning. Pulling his mouth away from her he began nuzzling the sweet skin of her neck, taking in all the exquisite emotions that flavored her.

Buffy’s mind was still so strong, even if she did not yet realize it. He had raped her. Not seduced, nor coerced her. He raped her. The worst crime a man could commit towards a woman, yet for Angelus---his most merciful. Finding her open mouth again, he tasted the soft misery that was Buffy Summers. Yes he had hurt her, yet she was still here complete and whole in mind and body. No other way could he visit his wrath upon her without leaving her incapacitated for a day or two. He had to weaken her pride, he had to punish her for tonight.

And he HAD, but there was still one other pesky matter left...

Still accepting Buffy’s tribute Angelus looked across the crowd in front of him, dismissing the salivating idiots who were rapidly losing their illusion of humanity. Intently he searched until finally he found what he sought. The sight that greeted his cold eyes was just the one he desired. Angelus smirked against Buffy’s mouth as he began to fiercely devour her. Silently he gave his command to the two who served him before returning the warm body that belonged to him. He had no doubt that all would be as he wished it. Hadn’t he already proven it twice tonight?

Partial victory was sweet, but total success would be rapturous.

Covering her with his body Angelus kept himself still, resisting the completion of this act. Buffy tightened her arms, running her fingers through his hair for just a moment, before dropping them about his neck once more. She was still kissing him with purpose but if he wasn’t mistaken---her lips had softened just a bit.

Now it begun...

The past two days had not been one of his control, matters had taken a different turn, but he was not displeased. The Slayer was now connected to him much the way those he sired were. Only this was much more powerful than anything he had ever experienced.

She was tied to him by body, blood, and spirit. Buffy could feel him now, much the same as he could feel her before. Not entirely what he would’ve planned (a trifle bit embarrassing to explain to any higher-ups) but this development could only be turned to his advantage.

And IF he had to be honest, he would have to admit that he had liked hearing her heartbeat quicken when she looked at him after her uninhibited dance. He had enjoyed seeing her squirm with arousal at just his one touch during her family dinner. He had adored the pulse of his name on her lips as he drank from her tonight. And her blood---the most exquisite concoction has yet to be dreamt of.

But ONLY IF he were honest to himself would he acknowledge all this.

Releasing her mouth Angelus saw himself in her sorrow filled eyes. He was the entire world to her at this moment. He could see it as clearly as if he could see into her heart. I WILL be your entire world. Beyond this moment, beyond tonight, beyond the past Slayer. I will.

Removing himself from her, he tucked his cock back into his pants. Standing up he watched as her eyes followed his every movement. He felt when she heard a certain guest comment on the lushness of her pubic hair. He read the modesty of her body as she tried to cover herself with her hands. He saw the shame that caused her arms to go limp and knew the acceptance that Lina’s words were true. They all saw her.

Casually he picked up his shirt. Reaching out with one hand he gently raised Buffy up until she was sitting. Warily she locked her eyes with his, afraid to know what was coming next, but determined to face it. Running one finger down her throat Angelus watched in fascination as her pulse began to slightly throb. He murmured “Lovely little brave girl...” before placing his open mouth on the sweet spot of her jugular.

“Angelus---” she neutrally began before he silenced her with a finger. Shaking his head he gave one last kiss before standing back up. “Later Buff.” Surprisingly Buffy remained silent. Fixing her eyes level with his chest she waited. Now was not the time to try her strength against him. Tonight was not the night. So she waited and prayed she would survive.

Carefully he lifted one of her arms up and slid it into his shirt. He repeated the same with the other before closing the shirt up. Buffy watched him in disbelief as he bent his head to the task of buttoning each tiny button. Pulling her hair out of the collar, he smoothed it over her back. When he would have turned up the sleeves she shook her head “no”. Angelus then left the shirt alone and began playing with a lock of her hair. Wrapping her arms about herself Buffy felt the confusion of the moment almost overwhelm her.

She was so sure that he would continue using her body until he was finished. She had prepared herself for it, had been ready to accept it, but now this turn of events completely left her unnerved and off balance. Looking into his emotionless face Buffy stopped herself from asking why. The whys would not change the past nor would it keep him from being in her future.

Wrapping his arms about her in the appearance of tenderness, Angelus allowed his lips to kiss her temple. “I had to prove a point to you. The point’s been proven” he softly murmured in answer to the unspoken question.

“Point?” she whispered in disbelief.

Stepping back he arrogantly said “I’ll be back for you in a moment. Do not leave this table until then.”

“Point?!” she demanded in a louder voice as he turned away.

Angelus continued to stride away, the crowd parting for a moment before enveloping him within its’ swaying depths. “Point?!!” she yelled in fury, her fists clenching so tightly that Angel’s ring cut into her skin. A few of the creatures around her turned their attention to each other, dismissing her now that the entertainment was over.

But many more continued to slyly observe her, obviously hoping for her to break down. Buffy’s cheeks quickly became stained in her anger. They already saw more than they deserved, she was not going to have a nervous breakdown just to make them happy. Defiantly she glared at those around her until they began to feel uncomfortable under her threatening stare. Satisfied in watching them turn tail and run Buffy finally looked away.

Feeling a prick of pain in her hand she absently glanced down. Opening her hand she saw the seeping of crimson blood snake it’s way down her palm onto the white shirt. Before her eyes the tiny cut rapidly closed up, boldly reminding her of what she was now. Which is what Buffy? Something that was of Angelus’ creation it would appear.

Breathing in measured breaths Buffy stared across the room, ignoring the decadent crowd and loud music, trying to keep her rage under control. He had to prove a point to her. A point. A point in reason. To her. From him.

He raped her. He humiliated her. He abused her. For a point. A fucking point.

“You can leave you know.”

Slowly moving her head to the side Buffy coldly stared at the speaker. It was the charmingly-handsome-dead-in-the-eyes-french-banker-type. “It’s true, you can leave.”

“I can leave?” she asked in an emotionless voice.

“Of course you can leave ma petite. You can leave, never to see this beast again. You can be free from his odious and barbaric attention forever. I can see to it.”

Wordlessly Buffy continued to stare at him, her growing hostility evident from the tightness of her mouth.

“We can leave now, he won’t stop us. He probably is finished with you now. Come.” Holding out a hand he reached for her, fully expecting for her to fall into his arms in gratitude. Any other girl might have, but...

“Look you creep---GO away.”

The depths of his eyes never wavered nor hinted at any emotion. “Don’t be foolish, you can’t possibly want to stay with this monster. I’m offering you freedom from Angelus---”

“Freedom? In return for what? A place in your bed or maybe on your wall?” she blithely asked. By this point many diverted their attention back to Buffy, malicious curiosity evident in their faces. A slight murmur traveled back and forth as many wondered if their colleague could actually be this stupid. Could he actually be so unbelievably idiotic that he would try to take what was clearly not his? Especially from a vampire like Angelus?

Apparently he was.

Dispassionately the older man allowed his eyes to flicker over her disheveled figure. Blandly he stated “There is always a price to be paid in this world.” Gripping her wrist in his surprisingly strong hand he finished with “Anything would be better than what you will find here.”

Pointedly looking down at his hand on her Buffy took one last calming breath. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

“Why? Because your protector wouldn’t like it?” Tightening his grip he smiled, the slight wrinkles around his eyes emphasizing their beauty and their deadness. “You’re just a piece of meat to him, a meal to be played with. Whereas with me...well, I wouldn’t eat you.”

Pausing for a moment he allowed his smile to vanish. “Where is worth now, little Buffy? You’re weaker since your dealings with Angelus, you won’t kill him, so what value do you have as a Slayer? You’re obviously not his paramour anymore, he didn’t even finish his pleaure of you.”

His words were the final nails in his coffin. She had been pushed around for the last time. She may be having problems of submission with Angelus, but she’d be damned if she took any garbage from this guy! Angelus. Damned bastard. The banker wouldn’t even be trying to give her freedom if it wasn’t for her unwilling show. A dull roar filled Buffy’s ears as rage overtook her. Buffy’s conscience and compassion became buried as she focused on the newest target for her fury.

“Come before I change my mind” the Frenchman demanded, completely underestimating the girl in front of him.

Before he could even manage to pull her off the table, Buffy punched him fully in the throat, forcing him to release her. Staggering back the man held his throat with both hands. Sliding off the table she stalked him for several yards. “I told you to go away. But no, you HAD to be a knight in rusty armor.” Reaching him she backfisted him one time, watching in satisfaction as his head snapped to the side.

“In case you haven’t noticed---tonight is a BAD night for me!” Grabbing his collar, she smiled in cold satisfaction as his nose crumpled right beneath the fingers of her other hand. “I’ve had to take a lot of shit this week-end, so I’m running pretty low on the patience meter.” Holding him up she dug her fist into his belly, listening to his groan of pain. “I told you as nicely as I could, but like a guy---you thought you knew best. Typical.” The surrounding people drew back, to keep away from her wrath or to accomodate it was unclear.

Shaking him once she falsely asked “Had enough? Yes?” Weakly the man nodded his head. “Really? Well here’s what I think...” Again she allowed her fist to land in the softened flesh of his stomach. A muffled groan echoed in the Slayer’s ears. “Learn the lesson yet? When I or anybody else tells you to go away---you go away. And I do have value you freak. I’ll ALWAYS have value, something like you won’t take it away from me.” Dropping him to the ground Buffy stared down in disgust. “AND I don’t take crap from things like you.” The last word of her tirade ended with a well-placed kick to the gut.

Two idle guests nudged the fallen man with their heels. “It seems that Angelus’ pet has more spirit than we thought.” Looking at Buffy one saluted her while the other clapped. “Bravo darling!”

Pinning them with her most lethal stare Buffy snarled “Shut-up! I’m not in the mood to deal with you two either.”

“She’s right you know. She doesn’t take crap from anybody, only me. That’s purely why I cherish her so.”

Angelus’ mocking voice broke through the haze of rage that consumed Buffy. Whirling around she watched in amazement as he prowled towards her, the muscles of his bare upper body flexing with each measured step. The world flooded her with Angelus. In this one unguarded moment of pure emotion Buffy felt herself calling for him, her hate running a thin line with her compulsion. Mesmerized she watched him.

The music pulsed and pounded, straining towards the culmination of where it ceased being music and instead became everything inside: the heart, the blood, the soul. The music befitted Angelus as he deliberately walked one step after another in time with the drowning pulse. It was deafening yet she heard him.

She heard him and she remembered him.

Buffy tamped down her wayward, contrary feelings. It was all a point with him, one that she had to pay for. Gaining control Buffy defiantly waited for him to do his worse. She had gotten off the damned table and beat the crap out of one of his oh-so-precious guests, he was sure to be displeased about it.

Her eyes then noticed a flicker of steel. Quickly glancing across the room she saw that one of the rapiers was missing. He could have taken your body and sliced it to ribbons for your infidelity... Tensing her body she searched for any weapon she could use against him. He had the advantage again but she couldn’t roll over and die. Not now.

Negligently he allowed the tip of the blade to rake across the marble floor, the hissing sound screeching in Buffy’s ears. Relentlessly he stalked closer and closer until he stood an arm’s length away from her. Fisting her hands Buffy waited, relaxing her body until it needed to arch away from his deadly blade.

Angelus charmingly smiled at his lover and remarked “Felt good, didn’t it? It felt good to beat the shit out of him; to take all your anger for me and make him suffer. I knew you always had it in you babe. Always knew it.” Deliberately he paused before allowing his voice to become husky with feeling. “I bring the best out of you Buff, don’t forget that.”

Blankly Buffy stared at him for a moment. Of all the things she expected him to say, this was not one of them. Felt good, didn’t it? Actually it did. Then his statements registered inside of her. Numbly looking down at her feet she saw in what condition she left Mr. Banker in. Now that the mindless rage no longer consumed her, Buffy felt a little shocked at what she had done.

Never had she just blown up at someone or something like this. When she was slaying, it was a part of her job. Find, stake, release. She didn’t let her personal problems interfere or color her role. It wasn’t like “Argh, Mom grounded me! Take that bloodsucker!” She never let her own feelings take over like that, ready to destroy because of her own fury.

What was it with him? How did he have her so twisted and wrapped up like this? Only after two days he’s made her a complete mental case. He gets into your head, it’s what he does. You should know that by now. The man coughed in great, hacking breaths, bringing Buffy’s attention back to him. He deserved it, he really did. So why did she feel so weird about it now? Why did she feel as if she did something that was bad? Maybe it was because she ripped into him without the slightest shread of compassion or remorse.

I bring out the best in you.

Recognizing the wariness in her stance Angelus slowly came closer until he stood next to her. Looking down he gallantly requested Buffy to stand aside while “I teach my guest here how to treat others.” When she didn’t move Angelus quickly wrapped an arm around her waist and moved her behind him. “You can stay or you can go to my room, I’m sure you’ll know which one. It’s the only one that doesn’t have people fucking. Yet.”

Turning away from her he paused before turning back once more. “Better yet: stay. I want you to see this.” Playfully he brought one finger to his mouth and made a “shushing” noise, fully confident that she would be right where he left her. Buffy didn’t want to stay, yet she was also morbidly curious to what he was going to do. Compelled beyond reason she stood there and silently watched.

Dropping his smile Angelus’ jaw clenched while his eyes blazed with barely controlled rage. “Now as for you Henri...” Laying the tip of the newly sharpened rapier under his throat, Angelus forced the man up onto his feet. “Henri, is this the way you treat your host after all the hospitality I’ve shown you?”

Even though he was obviously in danger of dying Henri calmly replied “I don’t know what you mean.”

The tip went in a bit causing him to wince with pain. Wolfishly grinning Angelus said “That is the bitch of being in one of these bodies, isn’t it pal? You get to experience all the joy but you have to feel the pain of their weaknesses.” Heavily sighing he grieved “The price of sin. I guess it’s worth it though. Oh, that’s right---you can’t feel anything REAL can you Henri?” Expressively waving a hand he apologized “Sorry to bring that up, I know it’s a sore spot for your kind.”

Bringing his ringed hand up to his chin Angelus innocently asked “How does that work again Henri?” The man slowly blinked his eyes while remaining completely silent. “Oh I remember now. Sorry, I’ve been behind on my demon terminology and custom for about a century, so if I’m wrong---cut in, won’t ya?”

Coming a little closer Angelus forced Henri to take a few steps back, the people behind quickly moving out of their way. The party continued yet every eye was now on this corner of the room, silently watching and judging. Human entertainment happened at every gathering, others more brutal and more enjoyable than tonight’s, so not everyone had watched what happened to Buffy earlier.

But now...

Rarely did partners in crime, so to speak, slay each other at these functions. Humans yes. Each other rarely. Tonight was obviously going to be one those irregularities.

“In spirit form your breed can feel even the most smallest sensation a thousand fold, but you can’t do anything about it can you? You can’t hurt each other, you can’t love each other, hell you can’t SCREW each other. Nothing. You’re just a group of clouds or something, right Henri?”

“We’re far more superior than something so mundane as what you describe.”

“Hmmm. My description was too mundane.” Withdrawing the steel tip from the man’s throat Angelus waved his rapier in curling patterns. “You’re right, it was too mundane.” Deliberately he stabbed the sword into Henri’s shoulder, watching in satsifaction as a dark, sticky liquid quickly stained the blue material of his suit. “Getting a little antsy? I would be if I were you. Now where was I? Ah, I remember now.”

“You can’t do anything in spirit form so you need a body. This is where it gets a little ironic, don’t you agree Henri?” Pulling out his weapon he tapped it against the floor while Henri held his injured shoulder with one hand. “You feel so much out there but when you steal flesh, nothing. You can’t feel a damned thing. Nothing. It’s all gone, just the memories stay. So what do you do? You suck everything out of any human you can get.”

Looking over his shoulder at Buffy Angelus casually stated “If you had gone with our Henri here, he would’ve had you sucked completely dry baby. All your pretty human emotions gone until you were nothing more than some bumbling idiot. Then he would’ve left at the side of some river or highway so that you could either drown or get smashed on the asphalt.”

Turning her gaze from him Buffy stared at the banker type named Henri. That was why he was so dead in the eyes. He couldn’t feel emotion. He wanted to however. He wanted to feel it badly, so it was an unbreakable cycle with him. He would continue to try and try again, hoping to feel something that her species could: feeling.

“Look at me you shit!” Angelus suddenly roared, causing Buffy to jump. The music suddenly cut off, leaving the room in heavy silence. Running her eyes across the crowd she observed that all movement stopped and all eyes were locked upon this sordid scene. Looking back at him she fully expected to be the object of his verbal rage.

Instead he was completely focused on Henri. The man slowly turned his gaze from Buffy, settling his sight on Angelus again. Holding the rapier inches from Henri’s face Angelus snarled “Knowing that you’re going to die, you still look at what is mine. Knowing that you’ve betrayed and offended me, you still have to look at her. You still want to taste her feelings. You want to taste her.”

Settling his crystalline gaze upon Buffy again, Henri softly replied “She feels so strongly, so deeply. She finally might be the one for me---”

His wonderfully accented words ended abruptly before giving way to a gurgle. Angelus had given a low growl before skewering the eyes of his guest with the rapier. Henri fell to his knees, clutching his head as blood seeped out from between his fingers. Buffy felt repulsed and shaken at the sight. Even though she had felt such rage against him earlier, she received no pleasure at watching this. Her mind screamed at her to use this time to run away, to leave this place and shut out tonight’s trauma. To run far away from this place, to leave before Angelus could touch her with those hands.

Instead she had to stay and watch. She had to.

Flicking the bloody orbs on the floor, Angelus deliberately ground each one under his heel. “You should’ve taken better care of your body Henri buddy! I mean, it’s the vehicle you travel in, without it you’re nothing.“ Wiping his blade on the fallen man’s suit Angelus mused “If I were you, the LAST thing I would’ve done was looked at another’s woman. Especially my woman!”

Moving until he stood next to Henri, Angelus gripped his shoulder and leaned down. “You know what I can do. Hell! You saw me in action just this morning, so any other creature would’ve rather been staked in a hundred places and left out to rot in the sun before even THINKING to look at my human.” Slapping his back Angelus moved away. “But not you Henri, you like to walk dangerously don’t you?”

Glancing at Buffy Angelus noted the paleness of her skin, the shock and horror mingling in her eyes. Her breath came rapidly while her hands continuously clenched and unclenched. He knew that she wanted to leave, but he could sense that her need to stay overpowered her baser fears. Good. Another lesson that he hoped for her sake she learned was this---the immense power he held over the world around her would never go away. All lived and died by his decree, not hers.

Keeping his back towards the swaying Henri Angelus quietly stated “She is MINE. Do you understand me this time? MINE!”

“Is she?” he foolishly rasped.

Losing the patience to tease and taunt Henri any longer Angelus whirled, lifted his rapier, and easily separated the head from the body. Crimson blood flew everywhere as Henri’s eyeless head sailed across the room while his body hit the floor with a muffled thud. Before Buffy’s shocked gaze she saw a thin wispy cloud float from the decapitated body and then vanishing like so much smoke.

“Mine.”

Tearing her eyes away from the blood splattered floor Buffy felt Angelus weave his hands through her hair. Firmly he pulled her head back while ferociously staring into her face. “You are mine Slayer. All mine. After tonight, you won’t ever forget it again. Every little piece of you belongs to me Buff, every piece.”

Loosening his grip on her hair Angelus bent his head down and allowed his mouth to touch hers. Numbly she allowed him to taste her, all the while thinking How did tonight happen? Is anything real? Am I real or is this some strange nightmare caused by food poisoning?

Helplessly she felt her eyes drift down towards the fallen body of Henri while Angelus continue to sipp from her mouth. The blood from his gaping neck was rapidly pooling on the marble floor in an ever widening circle. The dark splatter of his fluids made grotesque patterns as people began to walk across him, no longer amused by his death. It seemed obscene that he should lay there while everyone continued as if he never existed.

“It shouldn’t bother you Slayer. You do this every night, don’t tell me that now you have a conscience” Angelus cruelly mocked.

Shaking her head Buffy whispered “I don’t do this. I don’t torture them in front of a crowd. I’m not like you”

“I’m glad you’re not like me. The world can only handle one model of perfection such as myself.” Grabbing a hold of her arm Angelus murmured “I’ve got a little something to show you Slayer, wanna see?”