The hideous buzzing of Buffy's alarm at 6:30 AM erupted a swift, pounding movement by her fist crushing down on the OFF button, as an aggressive growl spurred deep from within her throat. The morning sunlight softly emitted its genuine warmth through the thin, white curtains in Buffy's room as she bleakly noted its harsh brightness. Her red, dry eyes squinted in weary succession, dimly trying to gain awareness. The fact was she had been awake long before the alarm had a chance to do its bidding. Besides her mind being extremely vigilant for any movement made by Angelus, her brain had been relentlessly pounded by torrents of conflicting thought till the wee hours of early dawn. She was alternately consumed by sensible, rational judgments of how demented and depraved Angelus was, hence cruelly hoping the sun would come soaring through her mother's, thin, living-room curtains and burn his arrogant ass to dust, to which she would merely calmly vacuum up off the couch before Dawn awoke. However, the next minute her corrupt mind would submissively retract her ardent hatred and rational sense, and wickedly immerse her in erotic whims of how she longed to have him right beside her, holding her, touching her, kissing her, whispering sweetly in her ear as his fingers slid sinfully up her thigh to where her…
She bolted upright with a vexed growl and raucously stomped her feet to the floor. Angelus was not going to lure her with his dark passions! He wasn't going to modify her to his vulgar, indecent charms! He was out today! Buffy would make sure of it! She boisterously got up out of bed to start her morning routine.
* * * * * *
After Buffy's morning wont, she gracefully made her way downstairs. But not before stopping at Dawn's door to see if she was up. Once she heard the sound of the closet door being opened from Dawn's room she finished her way down the stairs. She suddenly noticed with much surprise that the wall picture she so distraught about last night was…gone… It simply wasn't there. //Where would it be? And who would have taken it??// Dawn. That little brat. She always had complained to Buffy after their mother's funeral that she wanted the photograph to be in her room, not in the hallway. Buffy inwardly sighed. She would have to make sure Dawn put it back on the wall after breakfast.
As she made her way to the front foyer she indiscreetly paused at the opening of the living room. She hesitantly peaked in; half expecting to see a sleeping Angelus lolled out on her mother's couch with a smirk stuck to his handsome face even in deep sleep. What she found were the sheets and blankets neatly folded, as the pillows gently lay on top of them, all immaculately aligned in a pile at the end of the couch. She pouted her lips in confusion. //Where can he go when the sun is out??//
//Why, are you disappointed at his absence, Sweetie?// Her mind snidely echoed in her head.
She subtlety lifted her chin and cleared her throat as she quickly thought of something else. //Better go make breakfast for Dawn. Yea, that was a good distraction…// As she made her way into the kitchen she was halted right in her tracks, while appalled outrage stunned her into stillness as the swinging door came back and bumped her from behind.
"Morning Sunshine," Angelus mockingly spurt.
There he was nonchalantly leaning back into the stool, reaching for his cup of freshly-made coffee on the counter, looking just as lewd and spiteful as ever, yet still indescribably exquisite all at once.
"Ooh, you look like you didn't sleep a wink all night. Something keep you up, Baby?" His concerned, tender tone dripped with extreme insincerity.
When she merely continued to eye him in icy silence he breezily carried on with his epilogue.
"Perhaps you're like the princess in the fairytale, 'The Princess and the Pea'." His sparkling eyes never left her as he took a sip from her mother's favorite, novelty mug. "Although, in your case I believe the pea wouldn't have been in your mattress." His head moved slightly to look directly at her with an impish smirk. "It'd be in your libido…" He finished his statement with a ruthless smile while flashing his brow up at her.
"I hope you made arrangements to leave here," Buffy simply, but roughly ejected, choosing to ignore his little critique of her sleeping habits. She walked over to the coffee maker and began to pour herself a cup of coffee as she prepared to make some breakfast for Dawn.
"Ooo, I guess lack of sleep causes you to be a little tart, eh??" Angelus pointed out with a solemn lift of his brow.
"No, just you being here is enough to do that." Buffy spat back arrogantly with a false smirk.
Before either one of them could utter another disgrace at each other Dawn came in through the kitchen door.
"Morning!" She announced as she ran straight over to Angelus to give him a sincere hug.
"Morning precious, how'd you sleep?" Angelus' evil, cat-like grin caught Buffy's eye while he put his arms around her little sister.
"Fine," Dawn spoke as she grabbed the empty stool next to Angelus and sat down. "Was the couch comfy enough?" She turned to face him.
"You bet," He winked at her. "In fact, I was just telling your sister how last night was the best slumber I've had in a long, long time and I owe that all to you, Dawn." His charming smile captured a sweet, innocent grin from the young girl as Dawn felt the pride go straight to her head. Buffy merely rolled her eyes in disgust.
"In fact, I'm just counting the minutes and seconds till I sleep on that couch again tonight." His dark eyes slowly sought out Buffy's in deliberate sarcasm, as his smile grew even wider.
Buffy's eyes widened in and out until in a fit of rage she spun around to face the kitchen sink, flinging her unfinished coffee down the drain in an emotional display of frustrated hostility.
All this went completely unnoticed to Dawn who merely started her familiar gossip with Angelus.
However, much to Angelus' immense disgust he *did* happen to notice Buffy's bitter, whining, little fit. //It's very much like a three-year-old having a temper tantrum.// Angelus sourly perceived. While he did want her to suffer beyond any doubt, her childish behavior gave him more fury than anything else she did. Her little, babyish responses and stupid, emotional upheavals irked him to the extent of him longing more than anything to slowly choke her to death. Her repulsive bellyaching was gnawing dangerously thin on his last, restrained nerve.
Politely, she had welcomed in Spike without question, and Riley, or even that insolent vermin, Xander, who could come in on an oafish whim whenever he pleased. Yet, once *Angelus* decided to have a cup of coffee and stay for a few days with her sister and her, to more or less protect them from anything unfit, she would take girlish pleasure in treating him like a loathsome, repugnant parasite, counting the days when she could throw him out?!?!?! Oooooh, how he would make her scream! He would bring the bitch to her knees!! //Today's your day, little girl. Go on, keep it up, baby. Push me to the brink, to where your little heart can't take it anymore. You'll be the one to bleed for it in the end by my own, merciless hand…// Angelus' diabolical gaze followed her every gesture of movement, catching how her conceited manner completely ignored his presence. //I wonder what she'd do if I threw this hot coffee in her face to burn some sense into her…//
"…So I was wondering, can you help me on my history report, Angel??" Dawn's sweet voice was chattering up a storm. "I was getting help from Spike, but…well, I think you'd be better at this sort of thing… Plus, I wouldn't have to decipher the British tongue like I do with him. I mean Spike wants me to turn this into a 'Hail-Britain-And-All-Its-Glory' paper. At least with you I'd know I'd be getting the actual facts. You were *there*, seeing it all with your own eyes."
Angelus merely smiled proudly in acknowledgment.
"I mean, I can't very well ask Buffy…" Dawn gestured with her hand towards Buffy's direction, as if shooing a petty fly away. "Her history skills are sadly lacking, and that's just putting it mildly." Her pitiful tone lightly jabbed at Buffy's indignity.
Both Dawn and Angelus began to snidely chuckle in their mild bantering, as if they belonged to a secret clubhouse that simply excluded Buffy.
She despised both of them now, narrowly eyeing Dawn's almost-now-burned eggs, glumly wondering why she even bothered making breakfast for the little rodent. //I should have just given her the scraps in the garbage.// She coldly contemplated. //Then I could just take the trash out, with both of them along with it.// She smiled in satisfaction as she imagined Angelus incessantly cursing at her while she stuffed him into the trash can. Suddenly, the whole mood of the delusion shifted with a blink of an eye as he jumped out of the container much to her surprise and roughly grabbed hold of her by the shoulders. He then continued to rip off her blouse as he viciously sunk his teeth into her neck while his one finger traveled up her skirt.
"Buffy!!" He cried sweetly in her ear.
"BUUFFY!"
Dawn's enraged voice jarred her back to reality with a sudden jolt.
"Huh??" She looked over to Dawn, still trying to repress her now-flaming arousal spinning out of control.
"You've burned them! Angel, just look! She burned my eggs! I hate burnt eggs!!! She knows I do!" Dawn's griping tone was becoming more than aggravating as Buffy merely grabbed a plate and flipped the eggs on the dish, setting it in front of Dawn's view.
"Eat it!" Buffy's tone was to the point of vexation.
"I won't!" Dawn turned her head while closing her eyes in severe stubbornness, as she lifted up her chin.
Buffy suddenly caught Angelus' immense, heavy stare watching her in keen consideration. Their eyes locked as she hypnotically gazed into his dark, brown pools of purely saturated evil. Yet…there was an alluring, canny spark about him that Angel simply never had. While Angel's eyes were always peaceful and soothing, enticing a calm quietness in her Angelus' ebony pierce seethed a side to Buffy to which she never even knew existed in her. Something within her seemed to be awakened to this demon's presence sitting across from her, something long dormant inside her gut was now slowly beginning to animate itself and become aware. And she wasn't quite sure if she should fear it or not. But whatever it was seemed to fuse with Angelus' white-hot luster for dark, reckless passion. It craved to learn more about his primal instincts, completely bewitched by his morbid depths and sadistic nature.
She vigorously shook her head, jolting herself out of her catatonia, as she blinked her stare away from Angelus. She felt out of breath suddenly and could feel her heartbeat pound beneath her breast furiously. //What the hell was that all about?!!?? Are you mentally challenged?? Being turned on by Angelus' evil, sick desires?? Whatever happened to keeping a distance at all time from him??? Just remember this! Curiosity killed the cat!//
Buffy forced herself to focus on something more…safe and realized with much surprise that Dawn had dejectedly started to eat her eggs with big, gulping heaves and sighs. //Well she might as well ask her now…//
"Dawn?" Buffy questioned as her sister merely looked up from her plate in acknowledgement. "What happened to that picture on the wall that got knocked down last night?"
"I don't know…" Dawn mumbled with a mouth full of egg in her mouth. "You mean the picture that *YOU* knocked down in your fit of rage?" Dawn sarcastically accused.
"What happened to it, Dawn?" Buffy's voice becoming more and more shrilled. "It's simply gone! So what did you do with it? I know you took it!"
"I didn't do anything with it!!" Dawn slammed down her fork as she screamed her retort.
"How could it just disappear then?!" Buffy shook her head in disbelief. "Who else would have wanted it…" She suddenly caught a glimpse of Angelus sitting with his one elbow upon the counter while his hand rested under his chin, his contemptuous grin swallowing everything in its path while he simply watched, quite enthralled it seemed, by the quarrel going on between the two siblings.
"Never mind…" She quietly huffed in conclusion, not willing to bring up this mess in front of Dawn any longer.
"Don't worry Buffy," His smooth tone glided towards her. "I know just how much that picture means to you. I'm sure it'll turn up. I promise…" His fake sensitized voice making her cringe.
"I have to get going." Dawn suddenly jumped up from the stool quickly checking her watch. "Thanks a lot for the eggs, Buffy." Her last statement was with a light sneer.
As Dawn disappeared from view Angelus' regard of her departure lingered absently on the swinging door for several, extended moments before turning slowly to observe Buffy with eerie misfortune sketched on his face.
"You are going to walk with her, aren't you Darling? I don't think it would be very safe for you to leave your sister alone for long periods of time from now on."
"Why?" Buffy quizzed indignantly. "The sun's out. No demon would risk it." Her eyes narrowed fixedly on him.
Angelus sighed in extreme exasperation, his tone near unleashed frustration. "Buffy, when are you going to learn that as long as there is enough devoted intent in the act, *nothing* can prevent adversity from occurring. You would do best to learn that quickly, if you are planning on being the hero in this scenario. I think your inartistic sourness this morning would constitute enough of a devoted reason, don't you?" His grin paralyzed her to the bone. "And your disobedient behavior last night..." He finished with a confining, vindictive glare.
Buffy was barely intimidated by the time her burning wrath fused through her entire body. "Is that why you took my picture of the wall?! Where is it??" She demanded.
Angelus shot up out of the stool, slamming his hands down on the counter with destructive force. "Wrong question, lover!" For the first time he was exposing his pure, absolute merciless in its entire intensity to her, and it caused her to jump back a little, despite herself. His tone rained down on her keener than any amount of punishing slaps. "We past that discussion already! Keep up! The question right now is regarding your sweet sister, Dawn, and whether or not your behavior is profound enough to get her in harmful situation! And you better answer fast cause she's coming down the stairs right now, walking towards the door."
His lustrous, black eyes struck her silent for a moment, her once-vast fury quickly dispersing through her and abruptly draining out, leaving nothing behind but fear. Fear for Dawn. Fear for her. All of it by Angelus.
"What the matter Buffy? You couldn't keep your bitter tongue quiet yesterday and this morning with all your little quips, don't tell me you lost it now! ANSWER ME!" He brought his hand down towards to her face, as if he was ready to strike at her, yet he merely seized her chin, holding her still to gaze into his hungry eyes.
Buffy could feel her heart leap in traitorous glory to have those same, smooth, strong hands on her again, yet she commanded her other raging body parts to still their excitement before something happened...
"DAWN!" Buffy yelled from the kitchen, Angelus' hand still holding firmly to her chin.
"What?" Dawn's voice traveled through the front foyer to the kitchen as she stood in the doorway.
Still looking only at Angelus' vicious, grave eyes only inches away from her own she answered. "Wait! I'm coming with you!"
"Oh! You gotta be kidding me!" Came the disputing groan.
Angelus smile came immediately as his hand gently unwrapped itself from her face. However, he leaned in closer to her face, his lips barely touching hers as he whispered sensuously, "Oh Buffy, we're going to have such fun with your newfound submissiveness."
Buffy widened her eyes in wonder before squeezing them into tiny, hard marbles, suddenly finding her dispensed anger some how found its way back to her blood. "This discussion isn't over." She simply warned, releasing herself from his thrall and turning around, heading out to walk Dawn to school.
"Oh believe me, I *will* be counting the minutes and seconds till you come back." His dark, smooth tone floated at her.
Buffy turned around to see Angelus lounged in the stool again, relaxed and refined with a perfect smile over his face. But his eyes held an oddity that chilled her to an earnest extent, producing a grim notion of the worst foreboding she had ever experienced.
She slowly turned back around to find Dawn's discontent face glaring at her with her arms crossed around her chest, hugging herself fiercely. Her seething voice and bitter manner sought out Buffy directly.
"I just hope you know, this is *the* worst day of my life!" She spun around on her heel, yet despite her boast she didn't walk out until Buffy slowly proceeded in front of her.
And as the pitch-black, wicked eyes watched the whole drama play out he couldn't help but vainly smile at his work. //Poor Buffy, she still has no idea how corrupt things are about to get for her.//
UPDATED APRIL 5, 2005
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey guys, I know, I know. This is beyond horror on how long I've not updated this story, (not to mention my OTHER stories!) I'm SO, SO sorry! I planned to do a huge update after Christmas but I got a REAL bad case of a bronchial infection that had me hacking mucas balls the size of cats! Raise your hand if Ewww?! LOL! Ok, so now that everyone has gone to a scary visual place... :) Anyway, I was pretty sick. By the time I felt an ounce better it was time to go back to classes. And I'm going full-time this semester so I've been pretty busy. No excuse I know. And AGAIN my site is giving me problems! GRRRR!! I hate Bravenet.... So I figured I better give you guys SOMETHING here, before you start to riot. :) I know it's not much, but I PROMISE, NO MORE LOOOOONG WAITS LIKE THAT ONE!!!! Without further await, here's the update. MORE IS TO COME *VERY* SOON! ENJOY GUYS! And remember, feedback is ALWAYS very cool!
* * * * * *
The quaint, tiny neighborhood of Sunnydale began to idly stir, coming to life in the sun's gentle radiance of warmth and soothing light, as its hazy glow faintly faded away all traces of last night's turbulent storm.
Far inside the confines of the Summers' home, hidden back in the far corner of the sun-glaring kitchen sat a demon whose entire demeanor was as rancor and unrestrained as all the fires of any hell. The rich ebony of his hair and clothing, right down to the opaque darkness of his eyes, carved a deep, grimly disturbance to the pure, white tone of the kitchen, making the whole scene take on the guise of a gothic, twisted fairytale.
Angelus abruptly stood and proceeded to walk over to the counter to pick up the nearby phone. He lifted the tan-colored earpiece, casually sticking it under his cheek, holding it with only the crook of his shoulder. He used his one free hand to quickly punch in a number, while the other impatiently tapped against the counter as he waited for the other end to pick up.
"Yes?" A thin, but deep voice answered.
"Well, well, well. And here I thought something dire had happened." Angelus dictatorial tone flowed with ease. "I *specifically* give you simple instructions that the girl was not to be up and out of bed, let alone able to make any phone calls to Buffy!" Angelus solid voice was becoming more and more heightened vexation.
"But Angelus--"
"SILENCE!" Angelus' mighty fury lashed out all at once. "I'm getting pretty tired of peoples little wisecracks interrupting my authority!" His tone never losing its austere edge despite his manner being more collected now. "As I was saying, I give you specific instructions to watch the brood and make sure she *stays* in bed." His voice dropped to a quiet, concerned taunt. "I'm sure it's not healthy for Cordelia to be up and about, especially after all that she's been through. I want her fully rested and fully able to receive her daily doses. Is that so hard?"
"No. Don't worry, I got this covered for you. That bitch won't even be able to pick up a fork to feed herself after I dose her up with this shit…"
"Good. Because when the time comes and the drug has done its job, you're to bring Cordelia here and that's when the fun really begins…" Angelus' eyes sparkled with pure, rigid threat.
"Don't worry, the anti-psychotic that I'm injecting into her IV is gonna make her so fucking paranoid she won't be able to even blink without screaming. Everything is going to go as you planned, I promise."
Angelus began to smile just a little. "That's just what I want to hear. Speaking of which, did you get my other situation taken care of?"
"I have it straight from the dark sorcerer himself. His magics have made it possible for you to withstand direct sunlight for a matter of at least several hours at a time. Indirect sunlight shouldn't be a problem whatsoever. All of it is permanent, just as the little trinket he cursed for you and the explosive ring he specifically made for you. The sorcerer expects payment from you very soon."
"Don't worry." Angelus' dark graveness covered his entire face. "He'll get his payment…" Angelus frowned in slight disappointment. "Although I have to say, a phoenix's decapitation isn't as nifty as I thought it would be. There's too much white goo involved, if you ask me…"
"Uh-huh… I see…" Came the casual reply.
"Perfect," Angelus quietly went on, almost as if talking to himself. "The board is all mine now. I'll just set up the pieces, putting the Queen in checkmate, and joyfully watch as their whole world comes crashing down around them. It's almost too easy." His voice pitch suddenly burnt up. "Of course it would have been a hell of a lot easier if someone didn't fuck up on their end and let the bitch have Buffy know the 411, now wouldn't it?"
Muted silence on the other end. Cole really wanted to say something crude, just to let the bloodsucker have it. Hell, at least he wasn't foolish enough to mess with a slayer and her loved ones. But no, if he wanted to still exist and get out of this demon business for good, he better just let it go. After all, he had his own reasons for doing this type of work… Phoebe meant so much to him…
"Let me give you some advice before I go." Angelus' tone became full of enraged power and condemnation. "Don't fuck up again."
With that Angelus hung up, while letting out an unneeded, pent-up sigh. As his eye happened to catch sight of the window above the sink he arrogantly grinned. //Let's just see if that sorcerer's little hocus-pocus actually worked…//
Not that he really questioned the sorcerer's work. In all the years that Angelus knew him he hadn't let him down yet. Angel probably could have gone to him years earlier to get some personal gain too--like assisting him from being such a goddamn whiny asshole--but Angel foolishly shied away from the guy's methods since they basically were all "evil" and "chaotic".
//Boo-fucking-hoo, if Angel totally lacked the masculinity to take charge of his life, then I'll have no problems whatsoever in picking up where Angel has obviously failed.//
Angelus began walking to the front door of Buffy's hallway. He needed to become friendly with Buffy's neighbors anyway. It was after all, the polite thing to do since he was going to be staying there for a while. He sinfully smiled to himself as he opened the door.
As he slowly stepped outside the initial feeling he noted was his skin somewhat being tingly and itchy, but other than that there was no complaints. He stuck his hands out in front of him, examining them closely as the sun caught hold of their immaculate color in its reflective light.
//Not bad… Not only am I not burnt to a crispy critter, but I can actually sunbathe now…for a little while anyway… I'm going to have to remember to give that sorcerer something extra for this…//
He smiled, still half-hidden in the shadows of the porch.
//Just wait till Buffy finds out all my new, little tricks. She'll be so surprised…//
His wandering eyes suddenly caught sight of a woman's squatted form down in the dirt, her ass sticking out in perfect form.
//Nice neighbors…// His contemptuous smile arched up sharply in the deep shade.
Even though she was an older woman--probably in her mid 40's--and her sweat-suit didn't flatter her figure in the slightest, from what Angelus could tell by the way her flushed face gently caught light of the sun under her huge hat, to the way her shiny, silvery hair ringlets cascaded down her back she was definitively an attractive woman under that garb. Angelus' eyes pierced into her as he lightly traced the frame of her mind, finding out with such ease interesting little tidbits that no one else could possibly know.
//Hmm… husband is a real asshole, no surprise there. Most humans don't fully appreciate what a woman has to offer just by being herself. She definitely drinks heavily because of it, she's lonely, and…wow…she's actually kind of a freak in the bedroom…// Angelus coldly grinned. //You definitely wouldn't guess that by looking at her…//
But if Angelus had learned anything it was that most humans who were the very eccentric in nature were also the best experts at hiding it on the outer layer, converting to quiet, distant, cold, unsociable traits for survival. Buffy was definitely one of them for sure. He'd bet his entire existence on it.
//That's very tragic that her husband can't appreciate his wife having a S/D complex…//
Suddenly, as if she felt the heaviness of his black eyes on her, she turned and cast a worried glance in his direction. //Who is *that* lingering about at the Summers' home?? Those girls are so strange… Especially the older one, always dashing about late at night, different people in and out all the time, and all this going on while she has a younger sister to take care of, it's just not right… Poor Mrs. Summers, I think I'd die as well from all the madness that goes on over there… Those Summers' girls are just plain odd…//
Angelus made his way over to her with a false, humanized grin stamped to his face, coming out into the bright daylight as his pallid, colorless skin tone disturbed her even more so. She started up on her knees and put down her trowel, eyeing him with extreme caution and distrust.
"Hi, how ya doing? Lovely day, isn't it?" Angelus' easy, smooth voice sought out to calm her. He came several feet away from her and then abruptly stopped. "I know you're probably thinking I have no business here, but I'm a close friend of the family's. I'll be staying with Buffy and her sister for the time being… After all, their mother's death and everything else has been extremely hard on them." Angelus smiled affectionately at her, while converting his loathsome eyes to hide behind a soft, gentle pretense, while he exposed all the more considered, forgotten attributes and pleasantries that he hadn't utilized since he was human.
"Oh, well," Her eyes shifted downwards as her face blushed with pinkish, girlish splendor, as she jiggled the trowel with nervous motion in her absent hand.
//Humans were so goddamn predictable… All they needed was some idle affection to suck on like a bee to the flower's nectar and they were yours for the taking…//
"My name is Angelus, very nice to meet you." He extended his hand.
"How do you do? I'm Clairse Widel." She took off her gardening gloves and put down her trowel to shake his hand.
Angelus took it and softly held it, taking his time in caressing it carnally until she pulled away, gasping with red crimson on her cheeks. Angelus ruthlessly chuckled silently. //Let her husband deal with that later on in bed tonight…//
"Well," She fidelity cleared her throat before going on. "It's good to know that you'll be here taking care of them then." She smiled, but then her face turned earnest in its intention. "That eldest girl, Buffy, she definitely needs some guidance, or rather, I mean, I don't mean to pry or stick my nose into other people's business, it's just that she wonders off so and leaves that poor child Dawn--"
"Say no more, Mrs. Widel, your concerns are very legit. At least someone agrees with me on this. Buffy does tend to be a little self-indulgent at times. Believe me, I know." His eyes seemed to become entirely cold and distant before he blinked it away and continued sensibly. "I've known her for quite some time, and in all the time that I've known her never once is she mature enough to see the complete picture. She's too emotional in her work."
"She works?" Mrs. Widel asked with a decent amount of surprise.
Angelus only chuckled and said softly, "They're beautiful," His eyes traveled to her bosom as he grinned with something entirely menacing.
"What?!" She asked shocked looking down at her chest, beyond offended.
With a simple shake of his head and a chuckle he merely gestured with a slight nod of his head to behind her.
She turned around to see he wasn't talking about her at all, he was looking at her flowerbed… //Itiot, why do you think he'd be looking at you? Like you're anything to look at… Remember what Harold says. You're nothing that no one would want, and it's a good thing he puts up with your shit, because no one else in their right mind would…//
"Oh!" She giggled with a sigh of relief. "Do you garden?" She politely asked.
"Not religiously, but I have been known to bed some things deep down in the earth some times…" He whimsically smiled before stating, "My father owned a highly profited piece of land on which he had a small farm, but I always wanted something more of my own doing."
She found herself being whisked away by his dark, luminous eyes, entertaining ideas she had not thought of before she was engaged to Harold. She remained hypnotized by the intoxicating thrill when suddenly his eyes simply modified back to the soft, gentle mannerism that she saw before. She shook her head, thinking if maybe she didn't imagine the whole thing. "Are you from around here?"
"Not originally."
She waited to see if he meant to elaborate on that fact. He didn't though, continuing to stare at her something she couldn't yet define, so she merely squinted up to the sun and smiled. "It's a beautiful day, isn't it?"
"It sure is. Well, I'll let you get back to your gardening." Angelus turned around to start back, but suddenly had a wicked idea. "Oh, and Ms. Widel, don't let your husband tell you who you want to be. Don't hide your true nature just because that louse doesn't admire it…" He winked at her, letting his black eyes again resurface just for dramatic effect. It worked like a charm.
She stared at him as if he just went into game face.
He widely grinned and arrogantly laughed. "I have what you call a preternatural instinct to know certain things about people."
He turned and began making his way into the house and closed the door. He stretched his arms up above his head and smiled, groaning a little.
"Now Slayer, it's time to start your unraveling…" He chuckled as he made his way up the stairs.
* * * * *
Each step taken felt as if tiny pieces of jagged glass were being pierced into her skin, left there to rot away the remaining muscle and tissue. Her soul was to be smoldered away by the black void of despair. Buffy shook her head. She sounded like a god-awful poet now. As she slowly walked back from dropping Dawn off at school she could only imagine what Angelus had in store for her when she returned home. She was certain that whatever it was could only involve her demise, her total annihilation with nothing and no one to help pull her back or help her. And she had never felt so utterly alone.
She suddenly was struck by remembering how Angel had once idly told her that loneliness was about the scariest thing there was. She bitterly smiled. Once again her beloved somehow manages to mock her at her weakest moment. She knew that wasn't being fair on Angel's behalf, but she couldn't help but feel some anger towards him, towards herself… She began to think back to the first time that she met Angel. From the back alleyway of kicking him in the head, to where he took off after Graduation without looking back. One of her biggest triumphs robbed of all its meaning and glory by the one person she wanted to be there and share it with simply left. She recalled the times that he had come back from LA to visit. Helping her with that Indian spirit, all the time hidden in the shadows, skulking. He came to say sorry after the "Faith" complication. God, what a situation that was…to see him with her…the things he said… He came back when her mother died to hold her in comfort all night, and there was the time they had seen each other right after Willow brought her back. But everything was so distant and foreign between them by then. Angel had a life without her; she had a life without him. He didn't even seem to want to touch her that night, as though he had trepidation to even stare at her for too long or be too close to her. Perhaps he felt that if he did hold her he would have done something to risk everything they had worked so hard on simulating, breaking their agreement to stay neutral towards each other.
Of course, after Angel had gone through Hell things were simply different between them. They could never completely express how they felt about each other, in the danger of having his soul taken away once again. She forlornly recalled how she lost the last gift he would ever give her. The book of love sonnets, the birthday present that he had so sincerely bestowed to her with such thought and care; and she recklessly lost it in the street, never to see it again. Even when she had apologized to him for losing it the slight melancholy in his eyes bothered her to no end, and she often chastised herself many times for not going back and searching for it.
But how was she to know that that would be the end for them? She never wanted their relationship to end. Ever. All the times she selfishly pulled away from him, feigning indifference at first, cruelty, dancing with Xander only to make him livid with jealously, perhaps only to have him desire her all the more… Then, when he came back from Hell to fall into her arms weeping her name, she delicately nursed him back to health only to tell him that it could never be between them. Yet every time she resolved to keep her distance, some how, some way, she would end up back in his arms, whether it be peacefully sleeping next to him in bed, or saving his life, while he drained hers.
She gently touched the spot on her neck that was "marked" by him. That embrace he held her in… Such possession, such craving desire. She never felt as loved as she did in that one moment when his fangs were savaging ripping into her neck, the hardness in his pants pushing up against her warm, soaked middle with so much force, her blood, her heart, her very essence all in his power, completely given to him. And take it he did, and left her with nothing, but a tiny scar and a bruised and broken heart in return. And now, who was there in his place? The one awful person that made her head spin…
"Makes you think that a guy like Angel could never be happy with a girl like you."
Angelus' soft, yet profoundly erotic voice suddenly called out in the seclusion of her mind. She abruptly stopped, blindsided by its intense authority. He still managed to somehow viciously stamp out her strength and hope, ridiculing her even when he was no where in sight.
And she suddenly realized with great quaking panic that she was standing in front of her door, key in hand, staring intently at the doorframe in front of her. This door, once opened, would commence the most colossal, horrid impropriety that would haunt her even after death.
"Hellooo Buffy, how are you?" A feminine voice came from a little ways away.
Buffy turned to see Mrs. Widel gardening as usual in her god-forsaken, ugly sweat suit, waving to her in the most amicable manner.
Momentarily forgetting her soon-to-be, dire situation Buffy slowly waved back, frowning as confusion touched her. //That's weird. What got her motor running this morning? She's always such a grouchy bitch. I thought she hated me…//
She absently unlocked the door and opened it before closing it again, too much preoccupied by Mrs. Widel's unusual behavior to even give another moment's thought before realizing with horror that she was *in*. Her first thought was the extreme darkness of the house. Even though the sunlight clearly projected through the curtains and the windowpanes it remained as black as soot in every single room.
She cautiously looked around the corner at the living room, surprised not to be attacked as soon as she came through the door. //No, that's not Angelus' style. He likes to play with his food…//
But as she came to slowly realize, Angelus was nowhere to be found downstairs, and the house was disturbingly quiet, all little trinkets and novelties left untouched and unmoved just like before she left.
//No more stolen photos// She noted grimly.
"He's just like Angel, always running off into the invisible and I don't know where he is…" She mumbled to herself.
She went upstairs to her room and threw herself on her bed with a sigh. Staring up at the ceiling she was entirely thankful to have the house to herself for the moment. She needed to regain her focus and strength; she needed to think of a way out of this… Perhaps Angelus went into the sewers to grab a rat to nibble on… She suddenly scowled in extreme determination. He better just stick to the smaller, hairy mammals on the food chain if he wants to stick around here for long. //If I find out he's killing humans again I'll kick his ass…// //Right honey, with what?// She mocked herself. //Your impressive vocab? He's a vicious, dangerous killer and the only thought that's crossing your idle mind is, no killing people, but cute, cuddly animals is ok?? You're making excuses for the vampire already. It's only a matter of time before…// Buffy vigorously shook her head, turning her head a bit to get her focus on something else.
It was then that she acknowledged just how dark and shadowed everything in her room was. She turned her head to the window and saw that the quilt off her mother's bed had been clung to the wall and was blocking any sunlight from coming in.
"Wha?" Buffy huffed in annoyance as she sat up to take it down.
Out of the corner of her eye it was then that she saw Angelus sitting on her tiny chair way in the corner, completely covered in dark shadows, only the white of his face and eyes illuminating slightly.
Buffy jumped back against her headboard with a startled cry, shocked beyond reason that he was there the whole time. His form did not make the slightest movement, his entire body seeming like an inanimate object from a horror movie. There was something completely indescribable pulsating from him as the perforation of his ebony eyes had Buffy dreading the consequences.
He sat there boring his eyes into her, his thoughts a complete mystery, all the while remaining silent and dormant. Buffy didn't know how much time had past before she shook her head and came out of her catatonia. For all she knew years, months, hours could have flown by, and it would not have made any difference. Angelus was here, in her room, with his bloodthirsty austerity somehow miraculously managing to make him look all the more alluring.
"What do you think you're doing?" She forced out in one breath, her tone quavering.
Suddenly, as is her mere voice breathed life into the soulless object Angelus gently bent down and picked up something near his feet.
//What is that? A book??? It so damn dark in here…// Buffy squinted through the shadows when realization struck like a huge metal crane. //My God, he's got my diary! MY DIARY!// She vaguely thought of the irony on how Angel swore he never read her diary before turning into his demon form for the first time to show her what he really was.
"All I can think about is how badly I want to kiss you…"
"Kiss me…"
"I'm older than you and this can't ever…"
"Buffy," Angelus' voice ripped into the past to pull her smack into the present with its severe and extreme tautness. "All and all, I have to admit I am very disappointed in you."
His cold, impassive eyes had her heart pounding in terror, yet she desperately tried to remain indifferent and collective, with her arms crossed about her chest as she sat on her bed.
"Going through my personal belongings Angelus? Wow, that's low, even for you." She kept her voice even and firm.
"There should be no secrets between lovers." Angelus smiled full of scorn and contempt.
"Don't you get, vamp? We," she gestured using her hand to him, then back to herself. "Aren't lovers. Far from it." Her tone was reaching agitation.
His hard, apathetic face returned. "I agree. After finding out what I've seen here I don't think I can stand to look at you anymore." Though his voice was beyond threatening, his tone remained even and low.
She made a bitter grunt and shook it off, striking right back at him. "Good, does that mean you'll be leaving then?" She indignantly grumbled.
Angelus taunting laughter invaded her ear. "That would be easier for you, wouldn't it, my dear?" His slight sneer, followed by his condescending tone and wicked words took every bit of vital breath out of her lungs. "I mean, after all, that's what you're used to. That's all you know. Every man in your life that you've tried to love and be loved by has left for some reason or another. Your father, Angel, Riley… And all for the same reason." He sweetly smiled before he stuck the knife in. "You."
Buffy flinched, trying not to let his words effect her. Yet some how, she could feel her heart tighten in reluctance. She shook her head over and over again, even as she felt the tears slide down her cheeks. She wouldn't look at him though, knowing his scornful eyes would be too much for her to bear. //DAMN HIM! Why does he have to be so goddamn "on-the-mark" about everything!?? How can he read exactly what's in my heart when he doesn't even fucking have one himself!?// She smugly wiped at the tears at her cheeks before stabbing her cold eyes over at him, puffing her lips out in anger.
"Stop it," She harshly whispered. "Just stop it, you hear me?"
Angelus face brightened up in feigning wonder. His whispered tone mocked hers. "But we haven't even started yet, Babe. Don't tell me you're giving up already." He lifted his eyebrows in ridiculing mirth. "After all, there's still so much for us to do…"
Without warning, he viciously lunged off the chair with a growl, and before Buffy could blink he was in front of her, pressed up all too familiarly against her body.
He wildly shook her, knocking her head back against her headboard, quickly bringing up his fist as if he was going to ram it right in her winced face but then suddenly stopped inches away, only to gently stroke her neck.
"I know you're scared of me, of what I can do to you…" He hotly whispered in her ear. "You should be."
As he pulled back, his hand completely encompassed her tiny throat, squeezing only slightly as he matched her defiant glare with his scornful smirk. His smirk suddenly widened as his gaze shifted down to Buffy's throat, his hand releasing her whole neck, only to delicately skim the soft skin there… //Oh fuck!…// Buffy yanked back, her alarmed gasp causing Angelus to merely chuckle softly.
"You liked it, didn't you?" His voice full of soft measure, a trace of mild ridiculing accusation in his tone. His eyes twinkling suddenly, in his scolding.
//Oh no way do I want to discuss this with him… Does he know I was thinking about that incident this very day???// She felt his cool fingers brushing up against the spot again.
"Don't!" Buffy angrily spat, jerking away before… But she could already feel the tiny goosebumps popping up.
"Sensetive are we?" More mockery. "I guess you more than liked it…" His tone still incredibly soft and sexy, and the weight of his body suddenly all too great for her to bear.
"You know, I'll tell you a secret," He leaded into her ear again, and breathed, "We did too." He bent down to her neck and brought his mouth to the spot before she desperately tried to stop him with a strangled cry. But his mouth only gently closed over it and proceeded to suck, while throwing in an occasional tongue lap over the entire area.
It was all too fucking incredible. Buffy shut her eyes, clenching her teeth in agony, as her whole form began to shake, her body awakened to sensations long remembered, but never forgotten. She was falling, falling into the black hole and nothing was going to stop her, not even herself. She moaned deep from her throat, as her eyes drifted open for a brief moment and she could feel her resolve slipping away. Suddenly Angelus stopped his suckling of her neck and brought up his face inches away from hers, his eyes suddenly cold and black, as he gravely whispered,
"Sorry Lover, you don't get any indulgence today… You've been a very stubborn, rude little girl…" Before she could intake a breath, he roughly hoisted her body up and dragged her over to the chair, throwing her down on the floor with an irked scowl.
Buffy found herself facedown on her carpet before she spun her head up towards him in a disgusted grunt.
He slammed his foot right in the middle of her back when she tried to get up, keeping it there as he snatched up her diary and opened it up.
"We have some past afflictions to deal with first before we move on to the good stuff, Buff." His tone was full of ominous wrath. "My punishments aren't as accommodating and concise as taking off and leaving, but I'm you'll find them just as effective, in their own unique way." His icy eyes sparkled with pure malice.
"I don't know what you're talking about!" She all but shouted with vexation.
"Dear Diary," He emulated a girlish, high-pitched tone as his exaggerated derision depicted her most inner thoughts. "I had sex with Riley for the first time today. I don't know… It was," He paused for dramatic effect, giving a high-pitched sigh. "Different. I guess it was good. I didn't come though, not the first time anyway. I felt bad about that." He stopped reading and with an aggravated roar chucked the little book right at her head, missing it only by a few inches.
Buffy bore her eyes into his, her tiny pupils dilating in pure disdain.
"Riley was the type of guy a demon like you couldn't possibly understand!" She seethed out with every pore in her skin.
She waited for the violence that was sure to come, but Angelus merely laughed full of bitterness and spite.
"Believe me lover," He coaxed with his famous deceptive charm. "I know alllll about your little college mishap. Perhaps more than I wanted to know, actually." His eyes full of dazzling spectacle, as his tantalizing grin paralyzed her. "His mother, such a sweet woman, so trusting…" His wicked, scornful eyes looked to her with excitement.
Buffy could feel her chest close up and contract as she whispered, "No, no, you…"
"That was one stop I made before coming here, lover." His words were just as nonchalant and inconsiderate as his whole demeanor. "Iowa, where the cornfields grow plentiful and great. His mother was quite taken by me though. Told me stories you wouldn't believe." He lecherously winked at her.
"YOU BASTARD! YOU…"
Buffy was up in two seconds flat, knocking Angelus back on the bed with her atop of him, calling out any name she could think of, all the while trying to make contact with a direct hit. Yet Angelus was making it extremely difficult with his arms moving to catch hers at every attempt she made. Plus, he was positively set alive with corrupt, vicious laughter that made her all the more furious.
"WHAT DID YOU DO?? I'll KILL YOU, YOU HEAR ME, I'll KILL YOU IF---"
"Relax lover," He soothed through his choking laughter. "I didn't do anything to the simple-minded fool. The Finn family doesn't interest me in the slightest. I only went there to gain some information, in case I ever needed it, keeping my friends close and my enemies closer…so calm down." The last statement of his speech seemed to hinder on uprising arrogance, as his laughter suddenly stopped.
"LIAR!" She spat close to his face. "If I find out you did *anything* I'll--"
"You'll what, Buff?!" He bolted upright and took hold of her by the lapels of her shirt and shook her with a force that she had yet to encounter. "Cause last time I checked you agreed you don't do a damn thing unless I tell you to!" The animosity seemed to radiate off him in crashing waves, causing Buffy to shake from its intensity. Yet she refused to back down.
"You aren't going to have me, for *any* means." She flippantly stated, her tone very low. "Face it *Angelus* I was with a human by my *own* choice, who was warm and pure and that's something that you and Angel can never have, no matter how--" She was cut off when she went flying backwards, her face smashing into the closet door on the other side of the room.
Angelus stalked towards her, viciously grabbing her up by her hair and yanked her out of the way as he opened the closet door and threw out a huge box, spilling all of its contents to the floor. It was the box she had kept all her photo albums in, the ring and cross necklace Angel had given her, all the pictures of Riley, and other little nick-knacks from her childhood. It was all the memories she was not willing to throw away, so she neatly taped and boarded them up, throwing them away in the back of the closet for safe keeping.
Until now that is, as Angelus trampled over all of it, still lugging her by her hair as she tried to hit him over and over, but couldn't hit anything but air. His heavy weight was crushing one of the photo albums, as its springs and pages were giving way to bending and breaking, tearing.
"STOP IT!" Buffy cried.
"It's time for you to clean house, lover and everything has to go!" He resentfully spat at her, turning his hold to grab at her neck, but still holding her at bay.
He shoveled everything back in the box, grabbing up her diary and hurling it in the box along with everything else. He flipped through the photo albums, carefully looking at each picture, taking the photos that he didn't throw into the box and sticking them in his pocket.
"I'll just keep these along with the other one." He bitterly smiled. "Who knows. You might even earn them back… That'll be a great reward for you, don't you think?" His sharp, insulting tone making her want to vomit.
"*EARN* THEM BACK?!" She shouted, her rage consuming her. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"
"It means that you royally pissed me off Buff!" He shouted back with equal force. "And now you suffer the consequences! You ever want to see your treasured photos again you better think of a damned, good way to start making it up to me."
"YOU SON OF A--"
His hand flew to her mouth with tremendous breaking force as he smacked her. "Calling me names is *not* going to be one of them!!!"
He left her knelt there on the carpet as he dug in his pocket and pulled out a book of matches, putting them on the bureau. He went over to her bed, intently staring at it as if it was a live, destructive force.
Buffy still holding her hand over her mouth to stop the bleeding finally looked up at him through a thick cloud of spite.
Angelus suddenly turned on her, nothing having prepared her for the immense abomination and pure madness that was there, surrounding him, consuming him, his eyes swimming with a eerie haze of agitation. His voice nearly blew her eardrum out, the power of it causing her to arch back a little.
"YOU HAD SEX WITH HIM IN THIS VERY BED, I KNOW IT, YOU LITTLE WHORE! I CAN SMELL YOUR GODDAMN SCENT MIXED IN WITH THE MUT'S ALL OVER THIS FUCKING MATRESS AND FUCKING SHEETS!!" In a fit of indescribable outrage he grabbed the mattress, sheets and all, and threw it across the room, knocking it against her small table dresser, breaking open a snowglobe her father had given to her from his business trip to Mexico. The water and fake snow soaking into the carpet.
"Burn this shit!" Angelus was standing in front of her before she even could snap out of her stupor. "It's time to move on with your life and stop living in the past, Buffy. You're going to burn that box, the mattress and sheets, your diary, every photo of that pest, Riley, and Angel, your so-called 'first love'" His accusing, scornful tone towards the end ignited her rage all over again.
"I will not!" She waspishly spat.
"Oh you will too." He vibrantly stated, keeping his tone low. "Because I told you to."
"And just what the hell am I supposed to sleep on from now on?!" She replied through clenched teeth, her voice shaking with pure hostility.
"Ah, come on Buff," Angelus' voice, however was back to its former degrading, nonchalant manner. "I can only think that after all you've done you'd like rolling around on the floor for comfort. It suits you quite well." His tone directed back to an astringent resentment again. "After all, it's so like the dirt you love to have between your legs."
Buffy merely averted her vengeful eyes down to the floor, her lips pressed tightly together, shaking slightly, yet she refused to look at his pathetic face. She couldn't stand looking at him one moment longer.
"You better get started Buffy," Angelus simply warned. "And if you don't, Dawn won't be coming home from school today. Or any other day, for that matter. If you don't have this stuff burned by the time I get back--"
"And just where are you going?" Buffy looked up at him with detest sketched into every line of her face.
Angelus coldly smiled. "I need some air. The stench in this place is making me ill. And I can't say the sight of you is doing anything different." With that he strode out, slamming her bedroom door closed, taking off for places unknown, leaving her alone with her room in shambles.
For a long while Buffy merely continued to kneel on the floor, examining everything in her room over and over again. Slowly everything blurred into one, big cloud of hazy smoke. None of this was real; it was all some nightmare. Even her mother's death wasn't real. She'd wake up soon and her mom would be downstairs making waffles with Dawn and Angelus would be no where in sight. She go to Angel's that night and he'd hold her and tell her that it was just a dream, it wasn't real. She and Angel were still together. He never left town. He didn't. It was all just a bad dream. They were going to get married some day soon… Even as she picked up the mattress, sheets, and comforter, dragging them outside to the backyard, and then came back for the box and book of matches she felt nothing. Because it wasn't real. Her body had no mass, no structure, no weight; she wasn't even here. She wasn't dousing all of her treasured belongings with gasoline; she wasn't truly holding the match, striking the wick and throwing it in the bundle. The fire wasn't real; it wasn't really eating away all her precious memories. She'd have that claddaugh ring forever that Angel gave her and her diary, and the necklace that he gave her… Everything would be forever between them and nothing would change.
"When he is around…it's like the lights dim everywhere else. Do you know how it's like that with some guys?"
"If you are hanging around I'd like to know why…"
"Maybe I like you…"
"I'm just an animal, right?"
"You're not an animal. Animals I like."
"Look this can't--"
"Ever be anything. I know."
"I just gotta…I gotta walk away from this."
"Do you think I want anything to happen to you? You think I could stand it?"
"…But Buffy, she's got this little thing for you. She thinks you're an actual person. And right now I need you to prove her right."
"We kicked ass, I say we party. I mean, I got all pretty."
"By the way, I really like your dress…"
"Yea, yea, big hit with everybody…"
"I missed you."
"I missed you…"
"Then what are you afraid of? Me? Us?"
"Could you contemplate getting over yourself for a second. There's no us. Look Angel, I'm sorry if I was supposed to spend the summer mooning over you, but I didn't. I moved on. To the living."
"Being stalked isn't a big turn-on for girls."
"Why are you riding me?"
"Cause I don't trust you… You're a vampire, remember?"
"You have to trust someone. You can't do this alone."
"I trust me."
"Look, obviously I made a mistake coming here tonight."
"Oh no you don't. You can't just turn and walk away from me like that! It takes more than that to get rid of me!"
"Love makes you do the wacky…"
"What?"
"Crazy stuff."
"Oh crazy, like a 241 year-old being jealous of a high school junior?"
"No, I don't think you know what it's like to be a girl, and the slayer, or having to stake vampires when you're having fuzzy feelings towards one!"
"Who said date? I never said date."
"Right, you just wanna have coffee or something…"
"I'm just trying to protect you… This could get out of control…"
"Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?"
"When you kiss me I wanna die…"
"I always wished I could meet someone, exciting, interesting…"
"Interesting how?"
"You know how."
"Do you love me?"
"What?!"
"Do you?"
"I love you…I don't know if I trust you…"
"Maybe you shouldn't do either…"
"Don't be a baby, I'm not going to hurt you…"
"It's not that. It's just…"
"What?"
"You shouldn't have to touch me when I'm like this…"
"Oh… I didn't even notice…"
"Please, like Angel and I are just helpless slaves to passion… Grow up!"
"You really don't care what happens a year from now? Five years from now?"
"Angel, when I look into the future all I see is you… All I want is you…"
"I know the feeling…"
"I like seeing you first thing in the morning…"
"It's bedtime for me."
"Then I like seeing you at bedtime…"
"I like seeing you…and the part at the end of the night when we say good-bye? It's getting harder…"
"Yea, it is…"
"I'll be back, I will."
"When? Six months? A year? You don't know how long it's going to take or if we'll even…"
"Hey, if we'll even what?"
"Well in case you haven't noticed someone pretty much always wants us dead."
"Don't say that. I'll be fine."
"We don't know that."
"We can't know Buffy, nobody can, that's just the deal…"
"You almost went away today."
"We both did."
"Angel, I feel like…I've lost you… You're right though, we can't be sure of anything…"
"Shhh… I"
"You what?"
"I love you. I try not to but I can't stop."
"Me too. I can't either."
"Like I really wanted to stick around after that…"
"What?"
"You got a lot to learn about men kiddo, although I guess you proved that last night…"
"Was it me, was I not good?"
"You were great. Really. I thought you were a pro."
"You know what the worst part was? Pretending that I loved you! If I known how easy you'd give it up I wouldn't have even bothered!"
"That doesn't work anymore! You're not Angel!"
"You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? Doesn't matter. The important thing is you made me the man I am today!"
"You're not quitting on me already are you? Come on Buffy, you know you want it, huh?"
"You can't do it, you can't kill me…"
"Give me time…"
"There's time enough, I wanted to say good-bye first. You are the one thing in this dimension I will miss."
"This is a beautiful moment were having, can we please fight now?"
"I didn't come here to fight… Gosh, I was hoping we could get back together, what'd you think? Do we have a shot?… Ok, we'll fight…"
"You're going to Hell…"
"Save me a seat."
"Angel…"
"I love you."
"I love you."
"Close your eyes…"
"Stay with me…"
"Forever, that's the whole point. I'll never leave… Not even if you kill me…"
"It's just that everything's different now. I'm a senior, I'm really working harder in school, I'm even thinking about college… And I'm involved with someone…"
"I worry about you."
"I worry about you."
"I'm getting stronger…"
"Yea, pretty soon you won't even need me."
"That'll be better…"
"It's not what you think…"
"Hope not. Cause I think you're harboring a vicious killer…"
"What is this?! Demons Anonymous? I don't need an intervention here."
"Oh don't you? You must have known it was wrong to see Angel or you wouldn't have hidden it from all of us."
"For what!? For Angel to go psycho again the next time you give him a happy?"
"You have to believe I would never put you guys in any danger. If I thought for a second that Angel was going to hurt anyone…"
"You would stop him? Like you did last time with Ms. Calendar?"
"Buffy, I feel, that when it comes to Angel you can't see straight."
"You would just love to have an excuse to hurt him, wouldn't you?"
"I don't need an excuse! I think lot of dead people actually constitutes a reason!"
"I won't remind you that the fate of the world often lies with the Slayer. What would be the point? Nor shall I remind you of how you've jeopardized the lives of all that you hold dear by harboring a known murderer. But sadly, I must remind you that Angel tortured me for hours, for pleasure… You should have told me he was alive; you didn't. You have no respect for me or for the job that I perform."
"You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains children! It's blood, blood screaming inside to work its will…"
"We're not friends, we never were… What I want from you I can never have. You don't need me to take care of you anymore, so I'm gonna go."
"I don't accept that."
"You have to."
"Because I want you so badly! I want to take comfort in you and I know it'll cost me my soul and a part of me doesn't care! It's not the demon in me that needs killing Buffy, it's the man… You think this is simple? You think there's an easy answer? You can never understand what I've done!…"
"What about me? I love you so much. And I tried to make you go away. I killed you, and it didn't help. And I hate it! I hate that it's so hard and that you can hurt me so much! God, I wish that I wished you dead. I don't, I can't…"
"Angel if I'm not the Slayer, what do I do? What do I have to offer? Why would you like me?"
"I saw you before you became the Slayer… I watched you, and I saw you called. It was a bright afternoon out in front of your school. You walk down the steps…and I loved you…"
"It was good, wasn't it? I bet part of you even dug him when he went psycho…"
"You still my girl?"
"Always…"
"I'll love you, even if you're covered with slime."
"I don't know what the mayor was talking about. How can he know anything about us?"
"Yea, well he's evil."
"…He doesn't even know what a lasting relationship is…
"No…"
"We'll be ok…"
"We will…"
"Maybe we should get a few mirrors, and some drawers… Cause, ya know, that's what couples do, they have drawers."
"Oh, that's right…"
"I've been thinking about our future. And the more I do the more I feel like us, me and you being together, is unfair to you… You deserve more. You deserve something outside of demons and darkness. I mean, you should be with someone who can take you into the light, someone who can make love to you… …You'll always be the Slayer, but that's all the more reason as to why you should have a real relationship instead of this, this freak show…"
"You have a heart? It's not even beating!"
"Don't."
"Don't what? Don't love you? You know I'm sorry, I didn't know that I got a choice in that. I'm never gonna change. I can't change. I want my life to be with you."
"I don't."
"How are you?"
"Bright as rain. Whatever that means… Don't look at me like that. I can lie to you if I want to. We're ex, remember?"
"If it means anything I miss you."
"Could we not, please!"
"This isn't even a little hard for you?!"
"How can you ask me that? Just cause I'm not acting like a brat doesn't mean I don't feel anything!"
"It's nice to know what you think of me!"
"Well, what do you expect me to say when you just attack!"
"I just can't do this anymore! I can't have you in my life when I'm trying to…"
"You can't ask me to do this…"
"I won't let you die! Drink!"
"I'm not gonna say goodbye… I'm just going to go."
"You didn't even feel I was important enough to tell me you were there."
"I'm trying to explain… It's because I felt you were important that I didn't tell you."
"I'm a big girl now Angel. I'm not in high school anymore. A lot has happened in my life since you left…"
"I know, I respect that."
And I don't need you sulking around, trying to protect me… So let's just stick to the plan. Keep our distance until a lot of time has past. Given enough time we should be able to…"
"Forget…"
"Yea…"
"What?…How?…What is going on here?"
"Buffy… We were attacked."
"You and…"
"Faith…"
"Do you have any idea what she did to me?"
"Yes."
"Do you care?"
"I know Faith did some bad things to you…"
"You can't possibly know."
"And you can't know what she's going through!"
"But of course you do. I'm sorry. I can't be in your club. I've never murdered anyone."
"Do you have any idea what it was like for me to see you with her? That you went behind my back…"
"Buffy, this wasn't about you! This was about saving someone's soul. That's what I do here. And you're not a part of it. That was your idea, remember? We stay away from each other."
"I have someone in my life now. That I love. It's not what you and I had. It's very new. You know what makes it new? I trust him, I *know* him."
"That's great. It's nice you've moved on… I can't! You've found someone new, I'm not allowed to, remember? I see you again; it tears me up inside! And the person I share that with is me! You don't know me anymore, so don't come down here with your new life and expect me to do things your way! Go home!"
"I can stay for as long as you want me."
"How's forever, does forever sound good to you?"
"So Willow brought you…back…"
"Yea… She's a handy witch, ya know."
"So I've heard. Well, it's good to have you back Buffy… But things still stand the same between us. Nothing's different…"
"Don't attempt to grow a brain on this one, Slayer! I'm calling *every* shot in this game!"
"I just know you're itching to have me inside you in places you can't even dream…"
"I'll never let you go. I'd let this whole world burn to dust and I'd still have you tucked away in my arms."
"Buffy, when are you going to learn that as long as there is enough devoted intent in the act, *nothing* can prevent adversity from occurring."
"Oh Buffy, we're going to have such fun with your newfound submissiveness."
"I mean, after all, that's what you're used to. That's all you know. Every man in your life that you've tried to love and be loved by has left for some reason or another. Your father, Angel, Riley… And all for the same reason."
"I know you're scared of me, of what I can do to you…You should be."
"You liked it, didn't you?"
"My punishments aren't as accommodating and concise as taking off and leaving, but I'm you'll find them just as effective, in their own unique way."
"Cause last time I checked you agreed you don't do a damn thing unless I tell you to!"
"It means that you royally pissed me off Buff! And now you suffer the consequences!"
"It's time to move on with your life and stop living in the past, Buffy."
"The stench in this place is making me ill. And I can't say the sight of you is doing anything different."
Buffy's mind counted down the last of her worn, recycled thoughts of her and Angel, and now, her and Angelus, as well. The fire was slowly dying itself out, as there was nothing left to burn now but blackened metal pieces. The raging fire had consumed every bit of her precious memories, and there was nothing that she could do now to bring it back. There was nothing left for Buffy to do. Except go inside and prepare for the coming night.
* * * * * *
Willow was jumpy, and she wasn't even drinking coffee this time. Everything seemed normal by a quick glance. Anya was counting down the cash-drawer, Xander having called and saying his shift at the construction site was just about over and he'd be by to help with research. Giles and Tara were already lost somewhere among the book stacks upstairs, and Willow swore she saw Giles with his old, novelty teacup, the one he used to use at the school library that had a small chip in the handle from when Jenny had used it and accidentally cracked it. He was back to drinking tea! Yay!
But something still felt…off… And no matter how Willow tried to think of what it was she couldn't come up with anything… Perhaps it was Buffy's face expression when she came in today. She had looked so…worn out. Her eyes had looked all blotchy and red, as if she'd been crying for hours and hours. But when Willow had asked her about it she merely shrugged and said that she might be allergic to the new foundation she was trying. But Buffy's whole attitude had seemed so…broken. Willow didn't like this one bit; the whole thing was very disquieting.
Buffy simply walked in, asked if there was anything new, and walked right back out again, saying that she was going to go patrol and stop by Spike's crypt to see if he's heard anything. She asked Willow to make sure Dawn did her homework when she came here after school, which she was doing right now on the round table next to Willow as she idly looked through some books.
Willow sighed. Something was definitely wrong. She could feel it. The whole ground beneath her feet felt uneven and shaky, as if at any second it would simply give way and swallow everything up in total darkness. Willow had thought that with Angel being here Buffy's mood would lighten up a bit; Buffy could spill the beans about being in a Hell dimension, and he could talk to her about the one he was in… But that was another thing that bothered Willow. Something was off about him too. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but she would sometimes feel like his eyes were hiding something… Something like…
Just then the door-bell jiggled, as Angel stepped through the shop looking clean and crisp in his usual black, long coat and black pants.
"Hey guys!" His voice filled the quietness of the shop.
"Hey Angel," Willow smiled brightly.
"Hey, Will," Angel said, as he came over to the table where she and Dawn were sitting. He bent down over Dawn and gave her a little, playful poke in her ribs, to which she giggled and hugged him hello in return.
Willow shook her head at herself. She was being paranoid again, as Xander would say. How could she think for a second that Angel would ever hurt Buffy? Or Dawn? No, everything was fine, she probably is just having Witch Attack or something…
"So how are you Willow?" Angel asked, taking a seat next to Dawn. "Everything going, ok?"
"Sure," She answered with a genuine, warm smile.
"I hear you're a big Wicca, now huh?" His eyebrow arching up in light, jeering humor. "You going to destroy the world with that power there, Will?" He laughed as let out a scoffed grunt, slapping his arm.
"Of course not. I'm a good witch." She proudly smiled at both of them, as Dawn looked up from her book.
"That's what they all say!" Dawn snickered as she went back to reading her book.
"There's nothing wrong in delving into some unorthodox material." Angel smiled with a hint of devilish humor. "It's the best help to find out who you are, and who you want to become."
Willow frowned in concentration. She supposed in a way Angel was right, but still… She'd never magic for dark purposes, like destroying the world or anything. It just wasn't right.
"Think about Willow." Angel's voice suddenly was low and enticing. "You have this great power to do great, unbelievable things! You shouldn't let anyone hold you back from whom you truly want to be…" Angel's serious, dark eyes shot directly over to Willow, causing her to wince slightly. "No matter what." He whispered. He held her enraptured stare for a moment before clearing his throat and going back to his usual, simple smile and tone of voice. "Is Tara supportive of all this?"
"Well, um…" Willow faltered. She bit her lip. They had been kind of fighting about it lately. And especially Giles thought she was in the wrong.
"You know," Angel's tone suddenly turned grave with a hint of something undefined illuminating in his eyes. "Sometimes you have to show people your power so they know who they're really messing with. Don't be afraid of it, Willow. Don't ever let anybody intimidate you to not doing something because they think in their little mind that it's evil or something. If you let it, the power of magic can really be a good rush. And a good weapon." The glow in his eyes suddenly dissipated as he sat back in his chair and casually stretched his arms up. "Buffy around?" He asked with an idle yawn.
Willow was silent for several moments, distracted by Angel's bewitching speech. "Huh? Oh! Um no, she went over to Spike's," As soon as the words left her mouth she was sorry. She should have been able to sense Angel's jealous side. But there it was again. That look of screaming intensity in the back of his eyes.
Angel's whole manner changed entirely, as if a sudden wind had swept over him, bringing with it all the shattering forces of nature and corruption.
Willow frowned. He was getting this all wrong.
"She only went there to patrol." Willow tried to coax over this grief.
Angel suddenly gently smiled at her and, just like that, his eyes were clear and sparkling again and the wind was gone as quickly as it had come.
"I know…" He said.
He suddenly turned to Dawn. "How would you like to go somewhere with me, Sweetie?" His grin getting bigger as he playfully tapped her arm.
"Angel, I can't. I have homework. I thought you were going to help me with my history paper!?" Dawn cried.
"I am!" He stood up and came around to stand behind her and bent into her ear, whispering, "What better way to help you with your history paper than to show you some actual history." He winked at her curious upturned face.
"Really?" She giggled.
"You bet! I'll show you where some *real* history took place!" His eyes glowed with light humor as his form over-towered her.
"Cool!" Dawn jumped up and ran to get her coat.
"Hey," Angel's warning voice behind her called out. "You better make sure you bring some weapons of some kind, Sweetie. We don't want those vampires to get ya." His eyes gleamed with unnatural light.
"Bring em on!" She shot back, sticking out her tongue.
Angel spooky laughed seem to echo off the walls long after he stopped. "She such a corker," He smiled to Willow as he began walking towards the door. He suddenly turned around.
"You will tell Buffy that I took Dawn out for a bit, won't you Will?"
"Huh?" Willow was very uneasy again. She needed to chill out. "Oh, um, sure." She smiled.
"Thanks Will, I knew I could count on you." His smile covered his face. "Oh, and hey," His face took on a ghostly appearance as he seductively replied. "Don't let *anyone* tell you differently. Power, absolute power," His eyes clenched as his smile grew. "Over anyone, and anything kicks ass…"
And with that, he exited the shop leaving Willow in a state of total confusion.
To be Cont'd...