Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.Half this game is ninety percent mental. --Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies baseball manager
Warning label on hair dryer: Never use while sleeping.
Who in their right mind would ever need more than 640k of RAM? --Bill Gates, 1981
It's a question of whether we're going to go forward into the future, or past to the back. --Dan Quayle
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. --Anon
We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need? --Lee Iacocca
We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people. --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor
What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is. --Quayle
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever. --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest
Warning label on a roll of Life Savers: Not for use as a flotation device.
They X-rayed my head and found nothing. --Jerome "Dizzy" Dean
Winfield goes back to the wall. He hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! It's rolling all the way back to second base! This is a terrible thing for the Padres. --Jerry Coleman, Padres radio announcer
Warning label on an infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water.
Warning label on a palm sander: Not to be used to sand palms.
Warning label on a blender: Not for use as an aquarium.
Warning label on a Batman costume: Cape does not enable user to fly.
May our nation continue to be the beakon [sic] of hope to the world. --On the Quayles' 1989 Christmas card
The Internet is a great way to get on the Net. --Bob Dole
I have many opinions -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. --George Bush
Please provide the date of your death. --From an IRS letter
The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. --Joe Theisman, NFL quarterback
If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. --Brooke Shields
Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it. --Mike Smith, baseball pitcher, when ordering a salad at a restaurant
I love California. I pratically grew up in Phoenix. --Quayle
It isn't pollution that's harming our environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it. --Quayle
It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago... --Quayle
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. --Samuel Goldwyn
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