what to do...

i don't want to move half way across the country and have something go wrong and be alone.

i told him that i wanted to be married before i would go home to live with him. granted, we have been dating ten months and it might seem a little fast and what not, but i don't want to move have way across the country and have something go wrong and be alone. i have one family member there. i know someone in oregon, my best guy friend ever, whom i love to death, that i suppose i could go to if something went wrong, but i would want that security, ya know?
email me and tell me if you think i am rushing things, if you think i should stand my ground, or what you think about the whole matter.
well...part of me is almost upset with him for dating me seriously my whole senior year and saying what happened when he went home the fist time wasn't cheating. i feel that it was. even if we had been dating for like a week or so, i still feel betrayed by it. i know he won't do it again, or hope that he won't anyway, but still, its hard to trust him 100% because he kept it from me for so long. i told him sooner and felt horrible for it, and he just let me live with that guilt.
i'm talking to the girl he cheated on me with right now. sometimes its hard to talk to her because she is so partial to chas' point of view, but i have my own person who is partial to my point of view when adam gets on. if i wasn't with chas, i would have probably moved to oregon after graduation and been with adam. he is the sweetest guy ever and he would do anything for me. i can tell him anything and he might get upset with me, but will never judge me harshly and will never look down his nose at me for something i have done.
enough about that, i am rambling...going to go...chas will be home soon and i am listening to mooky music...

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