A Child Molested

Her family didn't want horses because
they took time and money. A horse would
be a huge investment.

On this day, like many other days, "T"
rode her bike to the fairgrounds. With
the horses boarded there, she could
always find someone who wanted their
horses exercised. This day was quite
muddy, yet perfect weather for riding.
She found a gorgeous, sleek, black
mare. Her owner was there and would
really appreciate having someone exercise
that horse. "T" shivered in anticipation.
When the owner led the horse out of it's
stall, he explained that this horse
handled a bit different than most others.
She climbed up and he got up behind her.
This was necessary you see, because he
had to show her proper leg movements,
reining, etc. They rode out aways. Her
motion was good, the horse's response,
excellent. She was so proud. Then,
he reached in and put his hands in her
pants. She was so afraid. They were
too far away for anyone to hear her
scream. He repeated over and over though,
that this was necessary for him to teach
her proper riding techniques. Then he
grabbed her hands and put them into his
crotch. Again, this was necessary. How
could something that is supposed to be
right feel so wrong?

"T" was so relieved when they got back to
the barn. Yet, his words kept ringing
through her ears. "If you tell, your dad
will have a heart attack. You will be
responsible and you might even kill him.
She took an oath that she would never tell."

That evening, "T's" dad came into her room
and asked her if "this man" had ever
touched her. He had heard rumors that
"this man" had molested another friends
daughter. He sounded so angry. (It
never occurred to her that his anger
was directed at "this man" and what he
had heard.) Then, she knew for sure that
what happened was wrong. She thought that
her dad would be so mad at her if she told.
But then, she also remembered that she
could cause her dad a heart attack and he
might die. She said "no, that never
happened".

She never went back to the fairgrounds to
ride. "T" developed a fear of horses and
of riding. Horses, the only thing that
really mattered ~ not basketball, not golf,
just horses. To date, she is afraid of them.
Yet, they are her passion. Last I talked to
her, she was thinking about getting mini
ponies, they wouldn't be as overwhelming.

She DID tell somebody and her dad DID have
a heart attack. She does realize now that
telling wasn't the cause, even though that
plagued her for quite awhile.

We heard that "this man" is dead. "T" has
forgiven him and herself. Which she knew
she had to do, to let go of these memories.

"T" is telling her story, because she wants
everyone to know that molestation can happen.
In places that you may never expect it.
Even with the risk of others coming nearby.
You may even know the abuser. It's very
difficult to tell on the perpetrator because,
often threats, etc are used to keep the
victim silent. If you know someone who has
been molested, be gentle with that person.
Go very slow. Realize that the victim is
going through so many emotions, probably
even guilt. Seek professional help and do
find someone to trust. Remember, you don't
have to do this alone.

If you have any questions or comments, even
a story of your own, do send us an email.

I pray that God gives "T" the strength to
overcome her fear of horses, which were
her passion. You see, she was always quiet
and reserved. Horses gave her a sense of
well-being because, with them she had
confidence and self-esteem. I pray that
God gives her the release of association
between molestation and horse back riding.
I pray that He helps provide even a mini
pony that would give her some of her dreams
back.

I thank God, for bringing "T" into my life.
For protecting her and giving her release
of some pain. I thank God that she was able
to share, that her dad's heart attack was not
major and she gained the awareness that she
couldn't have caused it. I thank God for
this caring and loving person who has so much
to give. Who wants to help somebody else,
avoid the same pain.