This is a question that I ask myself alot!
How DO I do today? Is this your question too?
Too often life throws us into too many directions.
This can get soooo overwhelming. It's like if one
more burden was to be dropped onto my shoulders,
I wouldn't be able to stand. It can seem like I am
bouncing off the walls. I'm on a roller coaster
up and down. I'm a yo yo on a string. I'm a
puppet and can't figure out who's pulling my stings.
How do I do today?

One day at a time! Often one breath at a time!

It seems that so many people are put in the fast
lane of life. Trying to juggle family and career.
Often helping with the boy scouts, 4H, school PTA,
church choir, grocery shopping for the elderly
neighbor or a friend's divorce. Maybe you don't
have a spouse and kids, maybe you're a student
trying to juggle your freshman year of college,
studying for exams plus a part time job to help
pay your expenses. Let's take it one step farther,
You're retired and you're spouse just passed away.
There are so many different facets of life that
each of us calls our own. No wonder things get
overwhelming. About that time I'm ready to just
stop to see if it's going to devour me or pass me by.

How do I do today? So much of today is tied in with
yesterday. See, the past has helped us develop into
the person we are today! Is your past still a burden
in your life? Do you carry pain? Guilt? There is
alot of extra weight with that. That in itself can
be overwhelming. I'm sure that you've heard, "you
can't change the past, so let it go, put it away, etc".
How does a person do that? How can I just turn it off?
Well, I can't, because that is part of me, who I am!
Yet, do I want the pain of yesterday to stop? Oh yes!
Do I want to call today a new day! More than anything!
But it won't stop. It keeps coming to my mind. The
pictures keep coming. The pain won't cease! No wonder
we're having trouble with today, because today seems
to represent our whole life! So, HOW DO I DO TODAY?

I have a good friend that I can talk to. He doesn't
judge. Then too, the person that I was a few years ago
is not who I am today, because I have grown and changed.
I try to diminish the fear of my past, knowing that it
can't hurt me anymore. Because I have turned my life
around. I accept my past. You see, when I keep trying
to run away from it, it will continue to follow until
I look it face to face! I forgive myself. I forgive
my perpetrators. Why would I do that? Because it is
God's way. As Jesus Christ died on the cross to
forgive us our sins, He did it knowingly that we would
sin. He forgave us in advance. So if He was willing
to forgive us, isn't it only right that if He is in
our life that we must follow His example? Only by
forgiveness, can we let go. That is the only way
to finally put that person to rest in our minds. I
know that it doesn't seem fair, why should I forgive
somebody who did something so bad? Why not! Do you
want to carry your anger and bitterness? Do you want
to continue to look over your shoulder? Do you want
to stay in the pain? You see, it's up to you! No,
forgiveness won't be easy. Do you need to tell that
person face to face? No, unless you choose to. God
will listen! Now the hard part. Are you willing to
forgive yourself for any deeds that you may be
responsible for? Maybe you didn't do anything except
feel guilt for being raped. Maybe you just feel dirty.
Why forgive yourself? To know and to accept that you
did all that you can do. You see, you don't always
have to be the cause to seek forgiveness for yourself.

Putting the past aside, the events in one day can be
overwhelming in itself! Sick kids, a delinquent bill,
a fight with your spouse, a decision to put your mom
in a nursing home, finding out your aunt has cancer,
not getting your child support, trying to settle
visitation rights with your ex, an F on an important
exam, bickering between your 2 kids, burned supper,
and the list can go on and on!!! I like the saying
"stop and smell the roses", better yet the tv commercial
that has a child throwing a drink in the air, another
throwing cards, etc and everything stops. She takes
her coffee/tea and sits down with a smile. She had
her moment before everything came back to life. Why
is it so hard for us, just to take a moment for our-
selves? To stop and take a hot relaxing bath, to send
the kids to grandmas? Are we not worthy? I know a
person who complains she doesn't have time to read
her bible. I asked why. Her response, the kids take
too much time. My response: they'll be back in
school next week. My husband sleeps days. My
response: reading the bible is a quiet time. She:
I won't get my housework done. Me: how much time
does it take to read the bible. You see, she was
making excuses for not taking the time. Does she
realize this now? She does now!!! This happens
with so many things. I have learned to stop and
take some time to read or watch tv. I take time
to talk with people. I'm taking time right now to
talk to you! You see, the housework can wait 20
minutes. Tonight maybe you could just order a
pizza. With your spouse, agree to disagree. There
doesn't always need to be one person right, after
all, aren't you both entitled to your own thoughts
and feelings? Isn't that why we are individuals?
Checking out the nursing home, maybe there's a
friend who is good and supportive that would be
happy to come along. Sick kids? It's temporary.
The delinquent bill? No, don't burn it!!! Pray,
sort out your options. Worrying isn't going to pay
it, maybe call and get an extension. This list can
go on and on. Hopefully you understand what I'm
saying. Once in awhile a person does need to stop
and to walk away. That's okay, most likely it will
be there when you return. Seek help, talk to somebody,
reach out. Most important though, seek God.

As for tomorrow, it's not here yet. Don't be afraid
of it, because it won't help. I don't know what's
there either. I like to think of it as a nice, big
gift. It's all wrapped up with a pretty bow. When
tomorrow comes I can open it. I can only take out
one little piece at a time, because that is what one
moment is. I just know that what I do today, will
affect my tomorrow. Because today will become my
yesterday, tomorrow will be my today.

So how do I do today? Which is formed by my yesterday,
and this very moment. I give it to God. I reach my
arm up in the air and open my hand. I say "God, here
is my yesterday, my today and my tomorrow. I can't do
this alone. God, I will pray for Your will to be done
in my life. Let me live by Your guidance. Let Your
words become my words. Let Your actions become my
actions. Please take away my pain, please guide me
to where You would have me to go. God, you know that
it's hard for me to give it to You. This is something
that is unnatural for me, yet I know this is what You
have asked me to do. God if I keep trying to take it
back, please keep reminding me to give it to You. I
do want to learn how to let it go. I forgive those
that have wronged me. I forgive myself too for holding
onto the pain, because I didn't know what else to do.
God, I confess that my thoughts are not pleasing to you
so God, I ask Your forgiveness too. Thank you God for
the people that you have put in my life, that reach out
a hand to me, knowing that it is really of You! Please
direct me in all things God and please show me the way."

So now do you see? That's how I do today!

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