Chapter 3

Danziger woke early in the morning. The air was chilly, the fire was a small flame slowly licking its way to the middle of a thick log, and the sun was only a hint on the horizon. He didn't have to look to find out what the weight on his arm was. He carefully pulled it out from beneath Julia's head and rolled out from under the folded parachute material serving as a blanket. Using the warm water in the coffeepot, he wet a section of shirt sleeve and washed up quickly, letting the chill air bite his skin as the water quickly cooled. Only when he was dressed did he look at Julia, still fast asleep, to be sure she was comfortable.
Oh, man!? I'm not that far gone, am I? Why didn't I see that coming before it hit?
He stoked the fire, adding some wood and getting the flames roaring. Julia moved slightly, still asleep, and he kept his eyes on the fire. Deliberately he brought another thought to mind.
Springtime. Hah. The nights and mornings were just as chilly as winter sometimes.

So why the hell wasn't he feeling the cold?

Julia awoke some time later, saw Danziger was gone, and quickly sat up and looked around. It was full daylight and the hilltop was alive around her. She could hear John talking to Zero some way off, their voices barely audible above the sounds of nature close by and the lapping of the water against the shore. The box in which they carried their food was placed nearby on her side of the shelter, along with a container of water and a pack with clothing in it. Yale had certainly thought ahead.
She washed and dressed, then, famished, had a meal of dried fruit and meat. When she finished, she crawled out of the lean-to and stood up, uncapping her canteen as she straightened. She looked around for John and Zero.
The back seat of the dunerail was loaded with supplies which she was sure Zero had brought with him during the night, but the ATV was not here.
It suddenly occurred to her the two of them might have gone to the ship and left her behind. Julia spun around in a circle and moved a few quick steps toward the lake to get a better view of the shore.
"Danziger!" she called, and in the same instant she saw the ATV appear out the trees and bushes far along the shoreline and bounce along with just the zero unit inside it as it moved toward the ship. A moment later she saw the figure of Danziger moving through the trees as he walked back toward the camp.
Of course he wouldn't do that to her. The tension left her body and she went back to the lean-to and climbed into the passenger seat of the dunerail and took a long drink from her canteen. It would be a while before he got back. Plenty of time to think about matters and explain to herself what happened.
Matters? That was a laugh. She made herself say it: to think about the night before and what had caused the kiss that wouldn't quit.
Julia laughed shortly at that, surprising herself that she could laugh at all. She'd done a number of things that had surprised herself the last few days.
Behind her back, far to the south, she knew the rest of the group was on their way to the crater lake, probably had been since sunrise. She knew Alonzo well enough to bet on that, and besides which, both times she spoke to him the evening before there had been a light in his eyes she hadn't seen since the first hours after she'd wakened from cold sleep and gone in search of him on the bridge of the Roanoke. Finding the ship had reignited something inside him, the something that had vanished when he thought he'd been responsible for his ship being lost. Not even the news of Alex Wentworth's sabotage had been able to quell his guilt over abandoning his ship.
John knew it would happen and tried to keep Alonzo's emotions in check, and though she tried, too, Julia knew it wouldn't be so easy to do this time. Whatever fueled the drive, the ambition, the desire to be a starship pilot - to explore space and never grow old - whatever it was that made Alonzo and Jake Baines choose sleep jumping as their careers. . .it had come back with a vengeance yesterday.
It was called hope. And the two of them had welcomed it back into their lives like lost souls sighting home after a long time away.
As if that wasn't enough to contend with, Julia wondered how the group would take the news when Danziger told them of the people who'd been trapped inside the ship as it fell, of the person or persons who'd tried to save themselves by re-programming the cargo pods to release their parachutes.
She leaned her head back against the seat and closed her eyes. She couldn't look at the ship anymore.

Somewhere behind her John's voice, carried on the wind, reached her in a garbled form. She climbed out of the rail and looked around.
"Danziger?"
She dug into her pocket for her gear. "Danziger?" she called out. "Where are you?" She put the gear set on her head and her fingers searched for the power up switch. "John? Are you there?"
For once he had his gear on and answered her almost immediately.
"Yeah, Julia. What's up?" His optical unit was in place. Julia could see he was walking through a sparsely wooded area with limited underbrush. Behind the sun was almost hidden by the trees, but now and then a ray from it would halo his hair.
"What are you doing? I heard you shouting just now."
He looked a little embarrassed, but over the gear channel's feed she couldn't be certain. "Just sent Zero ahead to the ship. We went down to the base of the hill to set a beacon for the others, showing them where to stop and leave the transrover. When I get back to camp we'll take the dunerail and follow Zero."
"Have you talked to the others yet?"
"Yeah. They were on their way before full sun up. I saw the transrover's lights when I got up this morning. Zero got here during the night and waited for us to wake up."
"Oh." She paused to consider that. "Anything I can do?"
"Uh. . . Start breaking camp. Let's go to the ship. Zero is going to see if he can get to the cargo pod."
"What do you think the chances are of finding tools or vehicles in it?"
"Pretty good, I'd say. Devon said each one had at least one vehicle of some kind in it. Maybe another Zero unit." He didn't sound too happy about that. "Hard to say without a manifest. Something we never had to begin with."
"Maybe Zero will find one on the ship. If the interior didn't reach flashpoint we might find a lot of things - besides the . . . you know."
"Hmm. Maybe. I'll be there in a little while." He moved aside his optics and his gear unit went off.
Taking down the shelter was not a big job, untying and folding the materials was all it took. Julia threw a few handfuls of dirt on the fire. She rinsed her hands and poured the wash water over the embers to be sure it was out. Satisfied it was, she climbed into the dunerail to wait. The camp was still shaded by the trees but the sun was higher in the sky now and the dunerail was dappled in shade and light. This was truly a beautiful spot.
The ship, which had seemed so beautiful yesterday, was the only blemish on the scenery. She wished it wasn't so, but knowing what was inside chilled her to the bone.

"Julia!"
She heard her name being called and opened her eyes, and was surprised, because she didn't remember closing them. Still absorbed in her reverie, Julia stood and called out, "Over here!" before it clearly registered in her mind the voice was that of a woman, and a very familiar voice it was, too.
A smiling figure was walking towards her from the west and Julia caught her breath sharply when she recognized the young woman. She stood frozen as the apparition of Eben Sinh neared the dunerail and walked around it. Shouldn't a ghost walk through objects in her way? Julia thought wildly and took a step backwards.
The ghost of Eben stopped walking and leaned her head to one side, giving her an exasperated look. "Oh, come on, Julia," it chided. "I thought you'd be one of the few in the group who wouldn't get scared and run away if you saw me. Where's your scientific curiosity?"
The apparition stopped in front of the dunerail and lifted one foot to rest on the front fender. The boot made a soft clang as it touched the metal.
Julia stared at the boot, then raised her eyes to look at the face of the other woman. "Eben? Is that really you?"
The ghost laughed. "Of course, it is! I wanted to talk to you before John gets back."
"How...? Oh, my god, how can this be?"
The other woman lowered her leg and slowly walked forward, holding her hands out. Her feet made scuffing and crackling sounds in the dirt and stones and dried grasses on the ground. She stopped in front of the doctor, still holding out her hands.
"We're not on Earth anymore," she said gently. "Please. Don't be afraid. Take my hands."
Julia stood frozen.. This had to be a dream. Definitely a dream She was having a terrian dream because. . . Eben Sinh simply could not be here!
Not only that, but, oh god, Julia thought, this has happened before!
Julia stared at the hands held out before her for a long time before she could will her own to reach out and touch them, first tentatively , and then, with astonished curiosity. She looked up and Eben smiled at her. She touched the face of the young woman, her hair and her clothes.
"I don't know how I do it," she said with a rueful smile. "I just know that for a short period of time, if I really concentrate hard, I can be as real as I used to be. Wishful thinking, perhaps. I know I'm dead, or my body is, anyway, but the rest of me is still here."
"Eben, how is this possible?"
"That's what I came to talk to you about. I'm to tell you, to remind you, this isn't Earth and it isn't the stations. This is a living planet and you should keep that in mind, first and foremost from now on. Start thinking like a citizen of this world. You've seen enough strange things in your short time here to know that anything is possible. I'm proof of that, wouldn't you say?"
Julia felt a wave of sorrow come over her. "I'm sorry, Eben. I'm so sorry. I didn't know. . . I didn't know until it was too late."
Eben shook her head. "Don't be, Julia. I have a purpose here. I don't know what it is yet, but I know I died to make a difference. Wherever it is I am at now - well, it's wonderful. Don't be sorry for my sake. I chose to be here." She drew in a deep breath. "We'll talk again, Julia. I have to go. I'm still learning to hold this form and I can't stay for long. I'll see you."
With those words the image of Eben Sinh vanished and Julia opened her eyes again. She was standing in front of the dunerail and she was alone at the campsite. Even so she could hear Eben's voice in her head, though she didn't remember the apparition saying anything more to her.

"The Mother is worried about Uly. He misses his mother, and in spite of his genetic changes and his strong bond with the Terrians, the Mother is worried he might lose his ability to communicate with them. She doesn't want to lose him as a link the way she lost Mary. He must be allowed to contact them physically. Not just in dreams. Alonzo can help. Julia, remember this."

And then she remembered why those words were in her mind.

Danziger came out of the trees and saw that Julia had been busy. The lean-to was dis assembled and the dunerail was packed with all the materials they'd used for camp. Julia was standing at the front of the rail and facing the lake.
"Hey!" he called and almost stopped short in surprise himself when the doctor jumped and spun around, her eyes wide and mouth open as if to scream.
She relaxed, looking a trifle embarrassed as she tried to sound annoyed. "Danziger! Don't sneak up on people like that!"
He smiled, not wanting to laugh out loud. A startled Julia he could take, but an angry one? Not this early in the day.
"I told you I was coming."
"Twenty minutes ago!"
"Five minutes," he corrected. He pointed over his shoulder with his thumb. "I was right back there when we talked."
She was about to protest, but she didn't want to tell him about her dream. She would let it go until she could think about the odd message the ghost of Eben Sinh had brought to her. Instead, she indicated the campsite with a sweep of her arms.
"All packed. We can be on our way."
Danziger shrugged. "Okay."
They both climbed into the dunerail, but when John reached to manually activate the engine, Julia reached out and clasped her hand over his wrist.
"John, we need to talk about last night," she said, looking and sounding apologetic. "Look, I don't. . . I don't know why. . ." She gestured helplessly with her other hand.
"You don't know why it happened?" he asked. "Hell, I do."
She looked at him sharply and opened her mouth to speak, but he raised his other hand to stop her. "It happened because we're alive, Julia. It might feel like we died with Eben, you trying to save her, me watching her ebb away, but we didn't. Sometimes it feels as if we're back there, suspended in time with Devon, but we're not. We're alive. Something inside of us - I don't know what - decided it was time to give our brains a clue. We're still among the living, Julia, and I haven't felt this good in months. It's time to get rid of the guilt and the sorrow and get on with life. I don't know about you, but I'm more than ready."
Damn if he didn't make sense. Julia smiled and nodded her head once. "I think you're right."
"Well, you say that with such enthusiasm. Now I don't know what to do with myself."
She laughed. "Let's go after Zero."
Danziger started the engine. "That's what I want to hear. The old pioneering spirit Devon said we all had in us."
Julia settled back in her seat. "I thought we weren't going to be talking about Devon," she said over the sound of the vehicle' tires moving over the ground.
"Why not? It's time to stop talking about her in the past tense. She's still a part of the group."
Swinging the dunerail around in a circle, Danziger aimed for a path through the trees and they were on their way.

As Danziger drove the dunerail through the woods, I turned my head toward the lake and, through the trees, I saw the ship that had fallen into it. I thought of, and marveled at, the extraordinary luck that helped keep it intact through it's deadly fall from the sky. It was the same luck that led Danziger and me to it's resting place when the group could easily have walked past it - when I could have easily persuaded him to let it go if I'd tried hard enough.
That same stroke of luck put us on this lakeshore for one night away from the rest of the crew. One night when the two of us could help one another face life again as confident and determined individuals. From going through the motions and forcing ourselves to live from day to day, we have wakened from our grief and cast aside our guilt and we have found the reserves of strength within us that will take us to the ocean, and that will help us both welcome Devon Adair back into our midst. And she will be rejoining us soon. I know it." Julia Heller, M.D.



To be continued. . .