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TOYS 'R' BUST DEPT.

When a filmmaker like George Lucas sets out to create a work that will bear his name, he has but one lofty goal, one higher plane he hopes to reach - MAKING MONEY!!! AND LOTS OF IT!!! It is no surprise that a business man like ol' George figured out that as good as his Star Wars flicks are, the real dough is in the toys! So he licensed playsets and action figures that hop off the shelf faster than a child can say "Mommy, I want this." But for every successful Star Wars toy, there were the lesser knowns, the also rans, the closeouts, the unwanted items like these...

"THE DIZZY DROID DRAG CANTINA"

Saving the galaxy is not exactly a spacewalk in the park - just ask Luke Skywalker! Between getting his hand cut off (by his father no less) and finding out that the woman he loves is his sister, Luke has a couple of emotional skeletions in his closet that he needs to let out from time to time. So where does a frustrated young Jedi Knight head to cut loose? To the Dizzy Droid, the Empire's only "alternative" watering hole. At this intergalatic drag bar, Luke can put away his drab pilot duds, throw on his best Versace floor-length Wookie fur coat, and have a drink with other "space" explorers! Based on a Star Wars scene left on the cutting room floor, this playset includes four bonus figures: the Extraterrestrial Village People.

"AL'S IMPERIAL JIFFY LUBE AND GARAGE"

Meet Al Mertzer, Mechanic to the Empire. This poor action figure has the unenviable task of doing all the unpleasant-but-necessary dirty work that keeps a galaxy running! From scraping the corpses of Rebel pilots off the feet of an Imperial AT-AT Walker to cleaning up Tie Fighters whose pilots couldn't quite stomach the jump to Hyperspace, Al's done it all at his garage. Playset features a working turbo lift, lube station, and land speeder bay. Deluxe set also includes three action figures: Al, Hank-G48, and Fred-bot, Al's two drunken assistant mechanics, with real cursing action!

This comic strip was originally published by "Mad" Magazine. On the Home Page, we have links to their web site and information for subscribing to their magazine.

The Star Wars Parody Staff