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            Buffy curled up on the window seat of her flat with a cup of hot, steaming tea, as she watched the rain pour down onto London streets. Music softly streamed from her stereo, comforting as it always did on rainy nights.

 

Years ago, when she was still a California girl, if anyone had told her that she would move to London and live happily without endless miles of beaches and endless days of sunny weather, she couldn’t have believed them. But now, after living here for almost 5 years, she finally understood Giles’ sense of relief after coming home to rainy England. There was a sense of ease that couldn’t be found anywhere else.

 

            It was always nights like this, when she got to settle down and enjoy being just Buffy that she started thinking about him. Except these times were different from all the other times before; before she almost literally had the weight of the world on her shoulders, before she was the only one with that burden, before when she was Buffy the Vampire Slayer, instead of just plain old Buffy Summers. Now, whenever she thought of him, she could smile and be happy because she finally could grasp onto that hope that one day they really would be together.

 

            It still hurt, being so far away from him, but she knew it was something she needed. When Angel had moved to LA he had gotten his chance to grow; she hadn’t. Of course, all the things that happened after his departure in the end had to have been for the better; made her a better person and all that shit, but she had still been living her life for everyone else, and had ended her life for everyone else. After she had been resurrected, she never got the chance to move on, to truly leave Heaven behind, because as always, she always had someone else to save. She never had someone to save her.

 

            But when Angel came back that night after she had been banished from her home by the only supports she had ever had in her life, to find comfort in Spike’s arms, she had finally been saved. And like she had always known, her savior once again was her Angel. The only one who could save her. After that night, she finally began to live again, and it was all because of him.

 

            And now, for these past 5 years, it had been all about her. No one but Angel had ever really understood how desperately she had needed it. The others came to terms with the fact that they had really damaged their bond with her when they cast her out of the house that night, and although she didn’t hold a grudge against them, because in the end she had needed it, but after that it was easier to leave. After that she didn’t feel obligated to justify why she was leaving. She had been justifying her entire life for 7 years, and she was done with it.

 

            Perhaps the only other person who understood was Giles, who asked her to travel and send back the newly activated Slayers, sensing that she needed to be away. She would be forever grateful to him…for him…

 

            So, she’s still sitting on her window seat with her hot, steaming cup of tea, watching the rain pour down on London streets, and again music is streaming softly from her stereo. This time, the lyrics of the song playing truly hits home and while she sips her tea, instead of letting the song simply soothe and comfort, she listens carefully and lets it speak to her.

 
 
//All I hear is raindrops falling on the rooftop
Oh baby, tell me why’d you have to go
‘Cause this pain I feel it won’t go away
And today I’m officially missin’ you
 
I though that from this heartache, I could escape
But I’ve heard it long enough to know
There ain’t no way
And today I’m officially missing you
 
Ooh...can’t nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do, hey, baby
Said it stays on my mind
And I’m officially
 
All I do is lay around, two years full of tears
From looking at your face all over
Just a week ago you were my baby
Now I don’t even know you at all, 
I don’t know you at all
 
Well, I wish that you would call me right now
So that I could get through to you somehow
But I guess it’s safe to say, baby
Safe to say that I’m officially missin’ you
 
Ooh...can’t nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do, hey, baby
Said it stays on my mind
And I’m officially
 
Well, I thought I could just get over you, baby
But I see there’s something I just can’t do
From the way you would hold me
To the sweet things you told me
I just can’t find a way to let go of you
 
Ooh...can’t nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do, hey, baby
Said it stays on my mind
And I’m officially
 
It’s official
Hoo, you know that I’m missin’ you, yeah, yes
All I hear is raindrops, oh, yeah
And I’m officially missin’ you//

 

 

            She wasn’t baked yet.

 

            And she finally realized that she would never be ready without him. Because he had always been that missing piece, and maybe she could delude herself forever that she simply needed time, but if she was true to herself she would know that while the past 5 years were good to her, and that she had desperately needed them, they were really all about getting over her fears.

 

After living through all that she had been forced to live through, she had come to the realization that she was still that scared little girl that needed someone to wrap their arms around her and tell her that everything was going to be okay. And that didn’t make her any less of a person. If anything it made her more of a person.

 

And when she boarded the first plane she could find that was going to Los Angeles, California, she knew that she was at last facing all the fears of happiness that she had been suppressing.

 

Was it a coincidence that it was raining in California when she stepped off of the plane? She didn’t think about it, all she could focus on when she was standing in front of Angel’s apartment door, was that after five years she was coming home. And when Angel opened the door to find Buffy standing outside of it; clothes soaked and hair thick and long, flowing down her back in small, wet ringlets, all he could focus on when he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her fiercely was that she was coming home.

 

Baked cookies be damned.

                        Fin.

 

Tell me what you thought about it. My very first short story, as well as my very first non AU….sort of...