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Lost and Found

 

Author:  Heather

 

E-mail: geek@archaeologist.com


Summary: Daniel tells Sam how he really feels about her.


Spoilers:  None


Disclaimer: I do not own SG-1, even though I really wish I did.  I don't have any money so if you sue me you aren’t getting much of anything.


Category: hurt/comfort, 1st P.O.V. (Daniel)


Rating: PG-13


A/N: I'm very into Sam and Daniel as a couple, but I just got the idea for this fic and I had to write it.


 I knock on her door, hoping that she was both there and not there. Why am I doing this? God, I know that she doesn’t feel the same, but I can't help the way I feel about her. This is going to mess everything up between the team. I wonder if she's seen me all the times that I have gotten lost in her beauty, her blond hair and those big, deep, beautiful blue eyes.


 "Hey, Daniel."

 

I look up at her.  She is even more beautiful when she’s out of her uniform.

 

"What’s up?"


 "Well… um, I really wanted to talk to you if that’s ok?"

 

She smiled her wonderful smile at me.


 "Yeah sure, come on in. Is there something wrong?"

 

I walk into her living room and sit in a chair at the table in the middle of the room.  She sat next to me.

 

"So what’s up?"


 "Well… um, I really needed to tell you something that I have been holding back for a long time."

 

She shifted a little in her seat.

 

"Samantha Carter."

 

I took her hand in mine.

 

"I'm in love with you."


 She just sat there looking at me, and then slowly opened and closed her mouth a few times, trying to say something.


 "Um… Daniel, I'm so sorry.  I can tell you that I love you back, Daniel, but I can't love you because I love someone else."

 

I can't believe this is happening.  I got up and turned my back to her.

 

"Daniel, wait."

 

But she was too late.  I was out the door. What had I done? I just made a big mistake. God damn it, Daniel, how could you have messed that up? I pulled out my keys, unlocked my car, got in and started driving. I have no idea where I’m going.   I'm just going away, far away.  What am I going to do? She must hate me for doing that. How could I think that she could have ever loved me?


 I was now driving down an empty back road now, so I press down on the gas and watch the speed go up from 45 to50 to 60, 70, 80, and 90.  I can feel the speed under me; the street flew by like it was nothing. Why do I bother with life? I mean, I have nothing to live for.  Sha're's dead and her son is safe, and now Sam has shot me down. Why did I keep going through the gate? It seemed all I ever did was get hurt or hurt people.


 Why was I such a failure? Why was my life such a waste? This car is going fast enough to kill me so easily.  I wonder how the SGC would respond.  I bet they'd think I was murdered no matter what everyone told them. I just see General Hammond hanging up the phone and walking out to tell SG-1 that I died in a car crash at 90 mph.  I wonder where they would put my body? Not that I really care, they could take it to Abydos and I could have an Egyptian ceremony.


 I look down to see I had let off the gas with out noticing because I was only going 60 mph.  Well, maybe it was better if I was going slower now so I can think without killing myself before I want to.


 I wonder what Sam is thinking right now? Probably that I'm the biggest ass in the whole world.


 "Damn it."

 

I hit the steering wheel hard with my hand. I could feel the tears over coming me. I couldn't stand the idea of having nothing all over again.


 "Why am I so stupid?"

 

I push the gas down again and watch as the car goes faster and faster. The tears had soaked my face and my hands had a death grip on the wheel.


 But I never saw the trunk coming my way.  I don't remember anything past seeing the bright lights, coming from my side.

 

*******************

 

 I could feel the bright lights over my face and someone at my side.  I knew who it was without opening my eyes.


 "Sam."


 "Daniel, don't move.  You were just in a car crash."

 

I could feel pain surging through my whole body.


 "Daniel, please stop moving.  You’re going to hurt yourself."

 

I could hear her crying as she yelled at me, but I almost didn't care. But something made me look at her and her blue eyes.  She did love me, but it wasn't in the way that I loved her.  I closed my eyes as I heard Jack come in.


 "How is he, Sam?"


 "I don't know.  He moved around and he opened his eyes once, but the only thing he said was my name once. Jack, I'm scared."

 

I heard her start crying harder.


 "Shhhhh. Sam, it's okay, you didn't do this."

 

 She was now crying even harder.


 "No, Jack, I did. Daniel came over to my house last night, and, well, he told..."

 

I had to stop her from telling Jack what I said to her.


 "Jack…"

 

I tried to yell, but ended his name with a series of coughs, and I could hear him walk closer.


"It's okay, Danny-boy."

 

He put his hand on mine.


"Jack, he said that he was in love with me."

 

I froze.

 

"He said what??"


"He said he was in love with me."


"That doesn’t mean this is your fault."


"Jack, when they found him he was wearing the same clothes that he wore when he was at my house.  He was going 90 mph when the other car hit him."


 "I know, Sam, I know."

 

I tried to hear more but I drifted into darkness.

 

*******************
 
 I opened my eyes to see Sam sleeping in Jack’s arms, and it hit me.  She was in love with Jack and that's why she could never love me.  He was so much more than I could ever be.  How could I ever line up next to Jack again? How could I go off world and have him watch my back?


 I just watch Sam lying in his arms. She looked so comfortable, and it hit me. She was happy and that meant the world to me.

 

      ~END~