Pub Message Archives 1-20

Failte! Welcome to the archives of the Online Irish Pub. This is your warning so please pay attention. This is about a pub, albeit online. If you get offended by foul language, sex, graphic explanations of bodily functions or by anything else you are likely to run into in a pub, please leave now. Drinking and babysitting don't mix. Thank you.

Re: Things I have learned:/Tourism Rant rubytuesdayschild (32/F/Nearby ........) 7/18/01 10:38 pm You are one EVIL bastard! I mean .. err. .. I thought they were more into tube steak???? Tacos???? If Alaska were Ireland, Johno would live in front of Chilkoot's, methinks. Go read his posts and tell me your opinion please???? Also if Alaska were Ireland, it would be significantly smaller and we could finally prove we had moose .. but only if Ireland does. We would also finally have Salmon. Tis a long tale to explain that one. A long, long tail. At the end of it all would be the moral : Those who speak out their asses should not stand near traffic in which to be thrown. Nicely summed up in this bumper sticker : If it's tourist season, then why can't I shoot them? This Is a Reply to: Msg 688 by singleinanchorage

Just saw Ruby in a different club the_god_of_liquid_silver 7/21/01 4:42 am errr .. uhm ... err.... uhmmm ... faint! hahahahahahhhaha Simon, you should see her. It would make your chest hairs sprout, if nothing else. She is too fine! She also has an intellect that would make Einstein blush, methinks. But, he never had those .. oooh ... he never had those! Would say Johno should see her, but 1) I think she only liked him because he reminded her of you. 2)I don't think he could handle it without splooging all over the barstool and then where would our nice clean pub be??? Alright. Kidding aside. I did see her. She is beautiful. She should marry me. Don't you think she should marry me? I like talking to her, I can put up with her kinkiness and dementia, she can put up with mine .. and for the bachelor party I'll have her jump out of the cake, rub frosting on the party guests and lick it off. It'll be great. Musn't forget to send myself an invite. Don't you think she should marry me? Let's have a vote!!!

Ahem .. Merc, you Bastarrrdd ... steve_reeve_1 7/21/01 6:38 am Let's just leave Ruby out of this, yeah? That's it man, I am kicking your ass!

Re: Ahem .. Merc, you Bastarrrdd ... maggie_haha 7/21/01 7:28 am Ah, hush the both of ya. Simon - what's she call him Simon De Wonder Lad? Oh no - Simon The Wonderful is too young for her and I am sure he is not setting himself up as competition. Good thing too. She thinks the world of you, Simon Lad. Thinks the sun shines out your nether regions, does Ruby. Simon said .. Simon did .. Simon drew .. Simon wrote ... She doesn't impress easily, so take it as a high compliment. As to you two - my dear boys, she is not interested. You are her friends. So relegated, so to remain. She needs a man with some sense, some romantic notions in his head, and preferably someone who can whisper the Irish National Anthem in her ear and make it sound naughty. Now, shall we leave this brawl and go back to our drinks? This Is a Reply to: Msg 692 by steve_reeve_1

Ruby in the other club pinkieleeeee (112/F/Anchorage, AK) 7/21/01 7:31 am I wanna see. I wanna see. Come on, tell me where. Is she naked? What's she doing? It better not be a knitting club. That I DON"T wanna see

Re: Just saw Ruby in a different club rubytuesdayschild (32/F/Nearby ........) 7/21/01 6:33 pm You are all gonna die very painfully very slowly when they reach into the jar to get an olive for the martini they may find your eye which will teach that yapper to order a martini, anyway! This Is a Reply to: Msg 691 by the_god_of_liquid_silver

Ruby is a sweet, wise and wonderful soul cantankerous busybody sex pot darling good ol'chap blowjob affecianado Nun Piker cheap date Most of the above and please don't let her hit me kind of cute nutter liniment cuticle scrub purple-headed feck-weasel Yes (agreement with all) voice in my head, dripping with sarcasm voice in my head, forcing me to terrify squirrels great set of nips with a girlie attached to one end truly lovely person woman that belongs to me so keep your filthy paws off lovely woman who should marry me tomorrow cheap slut who should marry me tomorrow woman who would be sexually satisfied by Karo woman who gets Karo and KY mixed up!!! chime sounding in my soul head of lettuce Aunt of Tiffapea All of the above Some of the above I'll tell her privately None of the above Whichever of the above I can get away with saying

hello misearis2001 7/22/01 2:06 pm i dont think i've met any other members yet, can i buy anyone a drink?

Re: hello rubytuesdayschild (32/F/Nearby ........) 7/22/01 6:48 pm Oooh yuck .. plegghy .. female. No thanks! But, you can sit next to me and we'll discuss Simon and how we can get him to dance on the bar for us .. yes? That would be right after we get Johno and the barmaid off of it. Off of it Johno .. full sentence .. not get them off .. get them off OF IT. Thank you Hello. Nice to meet you. This Is a Reply to: Msg 696 by misearis2001

Re: hello celticsimon (18/M/Ireland) 7/23/01 9:45 am bonjour, i have a new french drink to add to the pub!, its called a demi peche, and its a half pint of beer with peach-syrop, very nice! how are we all doin? im home in the next three weeks, so ..... so there u go. and hello new person, ill have a demi-peche, sil vous plait! simon This Is a Reply to: Msg 697 by rubytuesdayschild

Salut à tous les deux celticsimon (18/M/Ireland) 7/23/01 9:50 am two cows in a field. one cow says to the other, arent u glad we escaped this whole mad-cow-disease thingy? the other cow turns to him in disgust and says, "what do i care? im a helicopter."

Re: hello bowietheredhairedflamer 7/23/01 11:29 am Sounds good to me! Hello new person Hello Simon Hello Moon! This Is a Reply to: Msg 698 by celticsimon

Re: hello misearis2001 7/25/01 2:46 pm plegghy??? This Is a Reply to: Msg 697 by rubytuesdayschild

Re: hello misearis2001 7/25/01 2:47 pm ah merci beaucoup! 2 demi peche, slainte This Is a Reply to: Msg 698 by celticsimon

Re: hello misearis2001 7/25/01 2:49 pm and a demi peche here too! cheers!!! This Is a Reply to: Msg 700 by bowietheredhairedflamer

Re: hello bitemebitemebitemohbaby (45/M/Palmer, AK) 7/26/01 12:26 am She has her own language. If you question her too closely she will tell you she has breasts. This means, in her language, something like "I have diplomatic immunity." I can't argue the point. Her breasts have nipples. This Is a Reply to: Msg 701 by misearis2001

Re: hello bitemebitemebitemohbaby (45/M/Palmer, AK) 7/26/01 12:28 am Please to make it two more. This Is a Reply to: Msg 703 by misearis2001

A VERY belated 4th of July letter rubytuesdayschild (32/F/Nearby ........) 7/28/01 5:02 am Found this on the 2 Irish site,by Seamus Brophy: 'Tis a great day to be American. What a pain in the arse, then, for me to be speaking to you today as an Irishman - indeed as one self-avowedly Too Irish! But hold on! Take her easy there. What's the rush? Will ye feckin' sit still for five minutes, and listen to me when I'm telling you this. Gobshite. It has long been an observable fact that being Irish is no obstacle to being American. Indeed one could argue it was a positive advantage. Ye Americans are very proud of being American, but even prouder of being Irish. Ronald Reagan was Irish. Bill Clinton was Irish. Abraham Lincoln, Louis Armstrong, Dolly Parton and of course Milo O'Shea, all claimed to be Irish at one time or another. And (with the exception of Milo O'Shea, whom I know to be a shape-shifting alien from the planet Diz-Knee) who am I to disbelieve any of these great irish Americans? Sure wasn't my own Uncle Francie a great man for the old being-an-American lark? Didn't he emigrate in the '20s and struggle to make his way as a pig doctor in Manhattan for years until he was killed in The Great Crash. (The Great Crash occurred when Uncle Francie was blinded by a large sow as he was attmpeting CPR (Cold Pork Recusitation) on her whilst crossing Wall Street). Ireland and America have a very special relationship. We send all our young and able-bodied people to America to become Americans whose great grandchildren are Irish. That way all the talented people leave here and there's no-one with the wit, intelligence or ambition left here to show the rest of us up. Which suits me fine. In return, ye send us elderly heavy retired people by the plane-load to buy all the shite we make here because there's no-one left here who has any better ideas business-wise (for reasons cited in the previous paragraph). Which suits me fine as well, since I am a poor simple man with only a minor holding in a coach tour company and a franchise for leprechaun underware to my name. In time of need, America has always been there for us Irish. When we needed to fight for our freedom, Americans paid for our arms. When we needed to talk for peace, Americans sent us Senator Mitchell and Bono. When we needed entertainment, America sent us Happy Days, Grease and The Osmonds. Luckily we are a very forgiving race (unless you cross us in which case, we never forget and we'll get you for it no matter how long you've been dead). So today we congratulate you on your Independence Day. Let every American rejoice whether they are driving their Toyota to work or taking their ease in the sushi bar - for today is the day every American can be proud to be American. And Irish of course. Sayanora, a cháirde go leir.

I'm back... joeleogue 7/28/01 8:57 am Wow havent been here in a while i suppose im a kinda "absentee founder" of this club. im only a founder coz i know simon as you can tell its not because of frequent posting. any way how are you all? is jonno still here? behaving himself i hope. anyway while himself is off in lourdes i have been givin the responsability of "looking after the place" what ever that means

Geppetto, I'm a Real Boy! joeleogue 7/28/01 9:19 am I was reading through some old posts and read one asking simon if I were his alter-ego Well i am actually a person,a friend of simon's who he made a co-founder.I just dont post much thats all but i will post photographic evidence of my existence as soon as i can.I also know that saturn pie is a real person and im 99% sure jonno is too, he's just one with issues though!

1x a guy who'll remain nameless, Simon, steve_reeve_1 (39/M/Alaska and Ireland) 7/28/01 2:13 pm said something about why is it all the people from Alaska have not very well thought out ID's and all of them know Ruby. I can't answer for the names. She would tell you it's because we aren't really Alaskans and are therefore idiots and then declare war on you. Or "Who gives a damn what you think?" which is what she always tells me anyway. As to why we all know Ruby, those of us who do, it goes like this. "Would you be interested in joining.... here's the address." "Yeah. I might look into it. " ... days go by ... "Hey, did you join .. here's the address." "Uhm .. no. I forgot. I'll do it tonight when I get home." ... weeks go by .. "Did you join that club I told you about?" "No. Forgot." "Go join it." "I'm not Irish." "Who cares? Either am I. Go join it." "I wouldn't know what to say .. they all sound crazy." "Go join the club." "But. .. " "JOIN THE CLUB." "Later I will." "Fuck that .. you said that three weeks ago. Do it now. Here's the address. Only takes a minute. Join." "What's it about?" "It's about time you joined." "Fuck.Okay. I'll join." and all that work because the person that posed such a question asked her to help him up the membership. So, in defense of the lady's honor, I think the persons involved with this club should be thanking her instead of questioning her general popularity. She's a hell of a woman. There's a lot of people as want to know her. They also want her to notice they joined the club before she finishes loading the gun!!!!

hello all tr_wyf_ya_dy_galu 7/28/01 7:40 pm You people are very strange! THANK GOD!!!!

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