Stupid People

The history of the stupid people begins in the middle east. Although not much is known of the stupids during this time, it is believed that they were largely beggars and thieves. Since early times, the stupid people widely persecuted the fools. The roots of this persecution have their origins in the biblical writings. Fools are mentioned in the scriptures and the stupid people are not. This created tension between the two peoples as the fools declared themselves the chosen inferior people. This led to the indiscriminate stoning of fools by stupid people. Later, fool burning was common practice during medieval and early industrial times. The tension between the two peoples continues to this day.

Stupid people lived amongst the ancient Greeks and produced a number of philosophers themselves. The early philosopher, Sucamedes, was the first to recognize that the absence of everything is equivalent to nothing. He had a large number of stupid followers and much of his works is still passed on from parent to child today. Stupicles, from Pheces, taught that all things could be crushed by a large enough stone. His students, known as stoners, practiced herbal medicine and mastered many techniques in consuming solid food through their nasal cavities. Stupicles was also a prolific writer. Unfortunately, his twelve volumes of philosophical works, which he wrote entirely on an Egyptian beach, was lost during a high Mediterranean tide.

With the rise of the Roman Empire, many stupid people sought the stability and steady work afforded by slavery. The stupid people however, made poor slaves, and many were forced into Christianity so that they could be fed to the lions. Others were driven out of the Roman Empire into Northern Europe where they settled many colonies. The void left by the fall of the Roman Empire provided the stupid people an opportunity to flourish unhindered in Europe. Historically, this is the only time when stupid people had near total political and economic control in a region. The widely successful inquisition and black plague were engineered by stupid people, as were the crusades. It is this time in history that stupid people look back on with the greatest pride.

The stupid people didnít fair so well during the industrial revolution since the philosophical and scientific frameworks of Descartes and Newton didnít give much leeway to superstition and planned ignorance. More and more stupid people found themselves falling into the ranks of the working masses. Stupid people caused many early industrial accidents as they tried to fit into this rapidly changing society. Their ways and practices were not appreciated in the new European culture. Increasingly, many stupid people sought refuge across the ocean in America. That is those who didnít wind up sinking their ships in the North Atlantic.

With seemingly unlimited resources America seemed to be the perfect place for stupid people driven from Europe. In this new land a stupid person who got lost in the woods for months at a time was hailed as a great explorer. Politicians, a sect of the stupid people did quite well in several colonial towns. Also, a good part of the west was "won" by stupid people. Among their more successful campaigns were the near extinction of the buffalo and the wholesale slaughter of the native peoples and cultures. As America became increasingly civilized, the stupid people began to assimilate into mainstream culture. This assimilation has evolved to the point that most citizens cannot distinguish between a normal individual and a stupid person under casual social conditions.

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