Because you are the Slayer. Into each generation a Slayer is born, one girl in all the world, a Chosen One, one born with the strength and skill to hunt the vampires...

...With the strength and skill to hunt the vampires, to stop the spread of their evil, blah, blah, blah... I've heard it, okay?

- Giles and Buffy

***

Zombies, werewolves, incubi, succubi, everything you've ever dreaded was under your bed, but told yourself couldn't be by the light of day. They're all real!

- Giles to Buffy

***

The sleeper will wake. The sleeper will wake. The sleeper will wake. The sleeper will wake, and the world will bleed. Amen!

- Luke

***

Hi! I'm an enormous slut!... Hello! Would you like a copy of 'The Watchtower'?... I used to be so good at this.

- Buffy

***

Are you, uh, going out tonight?

Yeah, I'm going to a club.

Oh. Will there be boys there?

No, Mom. It's a nun club.

- Joyce and Buffy

***

I know what you're thinking. Don't worry, I don't bite.

- Angel to Buffy

***

Truth is, I thought you'd be taller, or bigger muscles and all that. You're pretty spry, though.

- Angel to Buffy

***

You're standing at the Mouth of Hell. And it's about to open.

- Angel to Buffy

***

Let's just say... I'm a friend.

Yeah, well, maybe I don't want a friend.

I didn't say I was yours.

- Angel & Buffy

***

I-I-I don't actually date a whole lot... lately.

Why not?

Well, when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool, or, or witty, or at all. I-I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away.

- Willow & Buffy

***

'And like a plague of boils, the race of man covered the Earth.' 'But on the third day of the newest light would come the Harvest. And the blood of men will flow as wine.' 'When the Master will walk among them once more!' 'The Earth will belong to the old ones.' 'And Hell itself will come to town.' Amen!

- Luke

The Harvest

This world is older than any of you know. Contrary to popular mythology, it did not begin as a paradise. For untold eons demons walked the Earth. They made it their home, their... their Hell. But in time they lost their purchase on this reality. The way was made for mortal animals, for, for man. All that remains of the old ones are vestiges, certain magicks, certain creatures...

And vampires.

Okay, this is where I have a problem. See, because we're talking about vampires. We're having a *talk* with vampires in it.

Isn't that what we saw last night?

No. No, th-those weren't vampires, those were just guys in thundering need of a facial. Or maybe they had rabies. It could have been rabies. A-and that guy turning to dust? Just a trick of light. (Xander gives her a look) That's exactly what I said the first time I saw a vampire. Well, after I was done with the screaming part.

Oh, I, I need to sit down.

You are sitting down.

Oh. Good for me.

- Giles, Buffy, Xander, & Willow

***

The books tell the last demon to leave this reality fed off a human, mixed their blood. He was a human form possessed, infected by the demon's soul. He bit another, and another, and so they walk the Earth, feeding... Killing some, mixing their blood with others to make more of their kind. Waiting for the animals to die out, and the old ones to return.

- Giles

***

So, what's the plan? We saddle up, right?

There's no 'we', okay? I'm the Slayer, and you're not.

I knew you'd throw that back in my face.

Xander, this is deeply dangerous.

I'm inadequate. That's fine. I'm less than a man.

- Xander & Buffy

***

I knew you'd figure out this entryway sooner or later. Actually, I thought it was gonna be a *little* sooner.

Sorry you had to wait.

- Angel & Buffy

***

So, Giles! Got anything that can make this day any worse?

How about the end of the world?

Knew I could count on you.

- Buffy & Giles

***

Hey! Hello! Caveman brain! What are you doing?

Shut up!

Well, just one dance.

- Cordelia & Jesse

***

You forget, metal can't hurt me.

There's something you forgot about, too. Sunrise!

It's in about nine hours, moron!

- Luke & Buffy

***

We've prevented the Master from freeing himself and opening the Mouth of Hell. That's not to say he's going to stop trying. I'd say the fun is just beginning.

More vampires?

Not just vampires. The next threat we face may be something quite different.

I can hardly wait!

We're at the center of a mystical convergence here. We may, in fact, stand between the Earth and its total destruction.

- Giles, Willow, & Buffy

***

The Earth is doomed!

- Giles

The Witch

This is madness! What can you have been thinking? You are the Slayer! Lives depend upon you! I make allowances for your youth, but I expect a certain amount of responsibility, and instead of which you enslave yourself to this, this... Cult?

You don't like the color?

- Giles & Buffy

***

I told you, I'm trying out for the cheerleading squad!

You have a sacred birthright, Buffy. You were chosen to destroy vampires, not to... wave pompoms at people. And as the Watcher I forbid it.

And you'll be stopping me how?

- Buffy & Giles

***

Ooo, stretchy! Where was I?

You were pretending that seeing scantily clad girls in revealing postures was a spiritual experience.

-Xander & Willow

***

So, we have no idea what caused this. That's a comfort.

But that's the thrill of living on the Hellmouth! There's a veritable cornucopia of, of fiends and devils and, and ghouls to engage. Pardon me for finding the glass half full.

- Buffy & Giles

***

I just don't like putting you guys in danger.

Oh, huh, I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away.

- Buffy & Xander

***

Cool! Was she wearin' it? The bracelet, she was wearin' it, right? Pretty much like we're goin' out.

Except without the hugging or kissing or her knowing about it.

- Xander & Willow

***

For I am Xander, King of Cretins. May all lesser cretins bow before me.

- Xander

***

Cordelia, you haven't been mean to me all day. Is it something I've done? Okay, see how she has no clue that I'm even a mammal, much less a human being?

I see that.

This is the invisible man syndrome. A blessing in Cordelia's case. A curse in Buffy's.

You're not invisible to Buffy.

It's worse! I'm just like a part of the scenery, like an old shoe. Or a rug that you walk on every day but don't even really see it.

Like a pen that's all chewed up, and you know you should throw it away, but you don't, not 'cause you like it so much, more 'cause you're just used to...

Will, yeah, that is the point, you don't have to drive it through my head like a railroad spike. I'm gonna take your advice and not beat around the bush.

Or I could be wrong! Maybe you should beat around the bush more.

Nah, I gotta be a man and ask her out. Y'know, I gotta stop giving her ID bracelets, uh, subtle innuendoes, taking Polaroids outside of her bedroom window late at night, that last part is a joke to relieve the tension because here she comes.

Okay, into battle I go. Would you ask her out for me?

- Xander & Willow

***

I just got kicked off the team, didn't I?

I don't think it was your fault.

Hmm, I know you don't, that's 'cause you're my friend. You're my Xander-shaped friend! Do you have any idea why I love you so, Xander?

We gotta get her to a...

Let her speak!

I'll tell you! You're not like other boys at all.

Well...

You are totally, and completely one of the girls!

- Buffy, Xander, & Willow

Teacher's Pet

You hurt your hand! Will you still be able to...

...finish my solo and kiss you like you've never been kissed before?

You're drooling.

- Buffy & Xander (Xander's dream)

***

Babes!

What are you doing?

Work with me here. Blayne had the nerve to question my manliness. I'm just gonna give him a visual.

We'll show him!

- Xander, Buffy, & Willow

***

Who's that?

That must be Angel! I think?

That weird guy that warned her about all the vampires?

That's him, I'll bet you.

Well, he's buff! She never said anything about him being buff!

You think he's buff?

He's a very attractive man! How come *that* never came up?

- Xander & Willow

***

Oh, right! Give her your jacket. It's a balmy night, no one needs to be trading clothing out there!

- Xander on Buffy & Angel

***

It's funny how the Earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to.

- Xander

***

I wonder what she sees in me? It's probably the quiet good looks coupled with a certain smoky magnetism.

Miss French. You two're probably a little young to understand what an older woman would see in a younger man.

Oh, I understand.

Good!

The younger man is too dumb to wonder why an older woman can't find someone her own age, and too desperate to care about the surgical improvements!

- Xander & Buffy

***

So there's something else out there? Besides Silverwareman? Oh, this is fun, we're on Monster Island.

We're on a Hellmouth. It's a center of mystical convergence. Guess it's the same thing.

Xander & Buffy

***

It doesn't sound weird at all, I completely understand. I've met someone, and you're jealous.

What?

Look, there's nothing I can do about it. Uh, there's just this certain chemical thing between Miss French and me.

I know, I read all about it, it's call, um, a pheromone. It's a chemical attractant that insects give off.

She's not an insect! She's a woman, okay? And hard as that may be for you to conceive, an actual woman finds me attractive. I realize it's no mystery guy handing out leather jackets, and while we're on the subject, what kind of a girlie name is 'Angel' anyway?

- Xander & Buffy

***

Buffy. I love Buffy. Wow! So that's a martini, huh?

Xander to Miss French

***

I'm really glad you're okay. It's so unfair how she only went after virgins.

What?

I mean, here you guys are, doing the right thing, the smart thing, when a lot of other boys your age...

Flag down on that play, babe. I am *not*...

Well, you see, that's the She-Mantis' modus operandi. Uh, she only preys on the pure.

Well, isn't this a perfect ending to a wonderful day!

- Willow, Xander, Blayne, & Giles

Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

'And there will be a time of crisis, of worlds hanging in the balance. And in this time shall come the Anointed, the Master's great warrior. And the Slayer will not know him, will not stop him, and he will lead her into Hell.' As it is written, so shall it be. 'Five will die, and from their ashes the Anointed shall rise. The Brethren of Aurelius shall greet him and usher him to his immortal destiny.' 'And one of the brethren shall go out hunting the night before and get himself killed, because he couldn't wait to finish his job before he ate.' Oh, wait. That's not written anywhere. The Anointed will be my greatest weapon against the Slayer! If you fail to bring him to me, if you allow that girl to stop you... Here endeth the lesson.

-The Master to the Breathren

***

Do you have any more copies of Emily Dickinson? I need one.

Buffy, while the mere fact of you wanting to check out a book would be grounds for a national holiday, I think we should focus on the problem at hand.

- Buffy & Giles

***

So, Buffy, how'd the slaying go last night?

Xander!

I mean, how'd the *laying* go? No, I don't mean that either.

- Xander & Buffy

***

Alright, I-I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the twelfth century and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show.

- Giles to Buffy

***

What, she doesn't like to dance?

Well, it's a little too late to do anything about that. Uh, you should probably know that Buffy doesn't like to be kissed. Actually she doesn't like to be touched. As a matter of fact, don't even look at her.

- Owen & Xander

***

Warn me? You see that guy over there at the bar? He came here to be with me.

You're here on a date?

Yes! Why is it such a shock to everyone?

- Buffy & Angel

***

Well, did Owen say anything about me on the way home?

Oh, you mean specifically about you?

Or generally... i-in the area, in the ballpark, any sort of indication?

Well, in that case, no.

- Buffy, Willow, & Xander

***

'And in this time will come the Anointed. And the Slayer will not know him. She will not stop him, and he will lead her into hell.'

- The Master

The Pack

Buffy, this isn't just about looking at a bunch of animals. This is about not being in class!

You know, you're right! Suddenly the animals look shiny and new.

- Xander & Buffy

***

The Masai tribesmen told me that hyenas are capable of understanding human speech. They follow humans around by day, learning their names. At night, when the campfire dies, they call out to a person. Once they separate him, the pack devours them.

- Zookeeper to Buffy & Willow

***

Well, I'm not constantly monitoring his health, his moods, his blood pressure...

130 over 80!

You got it bad, girl!

- Willow & Buffy on Xander

***

Okay, now what?

You took a bath.

Yeah, I-I often do, I'm actually known for it.

That's okay.

- Buffy & Xander

***

Xander... What's wrong with you?

I guess you've noticed that I've been different around you lately.

Yes.

I think, um... I think it's because my feelings for you have been changing. And, well, we've been friends for such a long time that I feel like I need to tell you something. I've, um... I've decided to drop geometry. So I won't be needing your math help anymore. Which means I won't have to look at your pasty face again.

You gonna say something to me?

- Willow, Xander, & Buffy

***

Xander's taken to teasing the less fortunate?

Uh-huh.

And, there's been a noticeable change in both clothing and demeanor?

Yes.

And, well, otherwise all his spare time is spent lounging about with imbeciles.

It's bad, isn't it.

It's devastating. He's turned into a sixteen-year-old boy. Course, you'll have to kill him.

- Giles & Buffy

***

Been waitin' for you to jump my bones.

- Xander to Buffy

***

Get off of me.

Is that what you really want? We both know what you really want. You want danger, don't cha? You like your men dangerous.

You're in trouble, Xander. You are infected with some hyena thing, it's like a demonic possession!

Dangerous and mean, right? Like Angel. Your Mystery Guy. Well, guess who just got mean.

- Buffy & Xander

***

Do you know how long... I've waited... until you'd stop pretending that we aren't attracted... Until Willow... stops kidding herself... that I could settle with anyone but you?

Look, Xander, I don't wanna hurt you...

Now do you wanna hurt me?

Come on, Slayer. I like it when you're scared. The more I scare you, the better you smell.

- Xander & Buffy

***

You guys got me locked up now.

'Cause you're sick. Buffy said...

Oh, yeah. Buffy and her all-purpose solution: punch 'em out 'n' knock 'em down. I'd love to see what she'd do to somebody who was *really* sick.

That's not fair. Buffy saved both of our lives.

Before she came here our lives didn't need that much saving, did they? Weren't things a lot simpler when it was just you and me?

Maybe...

When we were alone together... Willow, I know there's something wrong with me. I think it's gettin' worse. But I can't just stand around waitin' for Buffy to decide it's time to punch me out again. Look, I want you to help me. I want you.

- Xander & Willow

***

Didn't your mom teach you? Don't play with your food.

Buffy to Xander

***

You only ate the pig.

I ate a pig? Was it cooked and called bacon or... Oh, my God! I ate a pig? I mean, the whole trichinosis issue aside, yuck!

Well, it wasn't really you.

Well, I remember I was goin' on the field trip, and then goin' down to the Hyena House, and next thing some guy's holding Willow and he's got a knife.

You saved my life.

Hey! Nobody messes with my Willow.

This is definitely the superior Xander. Accept no substitutes.

- Xander, Willow, & Buffy

***

I've been reading up on my, uh, animal possession, and I cannot find anything anywhere about memory loss afterwards.

Did you tell them that?

Your secret dies with me.

Shoot me, stuff me, mount me.

- Giles & Xander

Angel

So, we're talking about a guy?

Not exactly a guy. For us to have a conversation about a guy, there'd have to be a guy for us to have a conversation about. Is that a sentence?

You lack a guy.

I do. Which is fine with me, most of the time, but...

What about Angel?

Angel? I can just see him in a relationship. 'Hi, honey, you're in grave danger. I'll see you next month.'

- Willow & Buffy

***

Y'know, hey, I don't know what everyone's talking about. That outfit doesn't make you look like a hooker!

- Xander to Cordelia

***

Angel?

Hmm?

Do you snore?

I don't know. It's been a long time since anybody's been in a position to let me know.

- Angel & Buffy

***

Buffy, c'mon, wake up and smell the seduction. It's the oldest trick in the book.

What? Saving my life? Getting slashed in the ribs?

Duh! I mean, guys'll do anything to impress a girl. I-I once drank an entire gallon of Gatorade without taking a breath.

It was pretty impressive. Although later there was an ick factor.

- Xander, Buffy, & Willow

***

Giles, 20th Century? I'm not gonna be fighting Friar Tuck.

- Buffy to Giles on the court staff

***

My diary? You read my diary? That is *not* okay! A diary is like a person's most private place! I... You don't even know what I was writing about! 'Hunk' can mean a lot of things, bad things. And, and when it says that your eyes are 'penetrating', I meant to write 'bulging'.

Buffy...

And 'A' doesn't even stand for 'Angel' for that matter, it stands for... 'Achmed', a charming foreign exchange student, so that whole fantasy part has nothing to even do with you at all...

Your mother moved your diary when she came in to straighten up. I watched from the closet. I didn't read it, I swear.

- Buffy & Angel

***

Where did you get that dress? This is a one-of- a-kind Todd Oldham. Do you know how much this dress cost? Is this a knockoff? This is a knockoff, isn't it?! Some cheesy knockoff! This is exactly what happens when you sign these free trade agreements!

- Cordelia

***

Angel! He was the most vicious creature I ever met. I miss him.

- The Master

***

Sometimes I have this fantasy that Xander's just gonna grab me and kiss me right on the lips.

You want Xander, you've gotta speak up, girl!

No, no, no, no. No speaking up. That way leads to madness and sweaty palms.

- Willow & Buffy

***

For a hundred years you've not had a moment's peace because you will not accept who you are. That's all you have to do. Accept it. Don't let her hunt you down. Don't whimper and mewl like a mangy human. Kill! Feed! Live!

- Darla to Angel

***

Why? Why didn't you just attack me when you had the chance? Was it a joke? To make me feel for you and then... I've killed a lot of vampires. I've never hated one before.

Feels good, doesn't it? Feels simple.

I invited you into my home and then you attacked my family!

Why not? I killed mine. I killed their friends... and their friend's children... For a hundred years I offered ugly death to everyone I met, and I did it with a song in my heart.

What changed?

Fed on a girl about your age... beautiful... dumb as a post... but a favorite among her clan.

Her clan?

Romany. Gypsies. The elders conjured the perfect punishment for me. They restored my soul.

What, they were all out of boils and blinding torment?

When you become a vampire the demon takes your body, but it doesn't get your soul. That's gone! No conscience, no remorse... It's an easy way to live. You have no idea what it's like to have done the things I've done... and to care. I haven't fed on a living human being since that day.

- Buffy & Angel

***

Well, you been around since Columbus, you are bound to pile up a few ex's. You're older than him, right? Just between us girls, you are looking a little worn around the eyes.

- Buffy to Darla

***

Okay, so what's the difference between this and the pre- fumigation party?

Much hardier cockroaches.

- Buffy & Xander

***

I don't need to watch because I'm not threatened. Just gonna look this way.

- Xander on Buffy & Angel

I Robot, You Jane

Oh, I know, our ways are strange to you, but soon you will join us in the 20th century. With three whole years to spare!

Ms. Calendar, I'm sure your computer science class is fascinating, but I happen to believe that one can survive in modern society without being a slave to the, um, idiot box.

That's TV. The idiot box is TV. This is the *good* box!

I still prefer a good book.

- Ms. Calendar & Giles

***

I'm, I'm just gonna stay and clean up a little. I'll, uh, I'll be back in the middle ages.

Did you ever leave?

- Giles & Ms. Calendar

***

Does he go here? What's his name? Have you kissed him? What's he like?

No, Malcolm, no, and very nice.

You are a thing of evil for not telling me this right away!

- Buffy & Willow

***

So, you've been seeing a guy, and you don't know what he looks like? Okay, this is a puzzle. No, wait, I'm good at these. Does it involve a midget and a block of ice?

- Buffy to Willow

***

She certainly looks perky.

Yeah, color in the cheeks, bounce in the step... I don't like it. It's not healthy. So, are you goin' to the Bronze tonight? Oh, probably not, you probably have some vampire slaying or some lame endeavor like that, don't you? Everyone deserts me.

- Buffy & Xander on Willow

***

I can just tell something's wrong. My spider sense is tingling.

- Buffy

***

You're here again? Kids really dig the library, don't cha?

We're literary!

To read makes our speaking English good.

- Ms. Calendar, Buffy, & Xander

***

Honestly, what is it about them that bothers you so much?

The smell.

Computer's don't smell, Rupert.

I know! Smell is the most powerful trigger to the memory there is. A certain flower or a, a whiff of smoke can bring up experiences... long forgotten. Books smell. Musty and, and, and, and rich. The knowledge gained from a computer, is, uh, it... it has no, no texture, no, no context. It's, it's there and then it's gone. If it's to last, then, then the getting of knowledge should be, uh, tangible, it should be, um... smelly.

- Ms. Calendar & Giles

***

Malcolm, Moloch... whatever he's called. The one boy that's really liked me, and he's a demon robot. What does that say about me?

It doesn't say anything about you.

I mean, I thought I was really falling...

Hey, did you forget? The one boy I've had the hots for since I've moved here turned out to be a vampire.

Right, and the teacher I had a crush on? Giant praying mantis?

That's true.

Yeah, that's life on the Hellmouth.

Let's face it: none of us are ever gonna have a happy, normal relationship.

We're doomed!

Yeah!

- Willow, Buffy, & Xander

The Puppet Show

Mm. He thought it would behoove me to have more contact with the students. I did try to explain that my vocational choice of librarian was a deliberate attempt to minimize said contact, but, uh, he would have none of it.

Giles, unto every generation is born one who must run the annual talentless show. You cannot escape your destiny.

- Giles & Buffy

***

My predecessor, Mr. Flutie, may have gone in for all that touchy-feely relating nonsense, but he was eaten. You're in *my* world now. And Sunnydale has touched and felt for the last time.

- Principal Snyder

***

Kids today need discipline. That's an unpopular word these days, 'discipline'. I know Principal Flutie would have said, 'Kids need understanding. Kids are human beings.' That's the kind of woolly-headed, liberal thinking that leads to being eaten.

- Principal Snyder

***

Because you thought *I* was the demon.

Who can blame me for thinking? Look at you! You're strong, athletic, limber... nubile... I'm back! In any case, now that this demon's got the heart and brain, he gets to keep the human form he's in for another seven years.

- Buffy & Sid

Nightmares

Hello? Doofus! You're in my light.

Wendell, what is wrong with you? Don't you know that she is the center of the universe, and the rest of us merely revolve around her?

Why don't you revolve yourselves out of my light?

- Cordelia & Xander

***

Fear is a wonderful thing. It is *the* most powerful force in the human world. Not love, not hate... Fear! When you were a mortal boy, what did you fear?

Monsters.

Ooo. We are *defined* by the things we fear. This symbol, these two planks of wood, it confounds me. Suffuses me with mortal dread. But fear is in the mind. Like pain. It can be controlled. If I can face my fear, it cannot master me. Something is happening above. Something new, powerful, psychic force. Do you feel it?

I feel change.

Change. Yes. For the worse.

- The Master & Collin (The Annointed One)

***

I don't like spiders, okay? Their furry bodies, and their sticky webs, and what do they need all those legs for anyway? I'll tell you: for crawling across your face in the middle of the night. Ewww! How do they not ruffle you?

- Willow on spiders

***

Gosh, you don't even see what's right in front of your face, do you? Well, big surprise there, all you ever think about is yourself. You get in trouble. You embarrass us with all the crazy stunts you pull, and do I have to go on?

No. Please don't.

You're sullen and... rude and... you're not nearly as bright as I thought you were going to be... Hey, Buffy, let's be honest. Could you stand to live in the same house with a daughter like that?

Why are you saying all these things?

Because they're true. I think that's the least we owe one another.

You know, I don't think it's very mature, getting blubbery when I'm just trying to be honest. Speaking of which, I don't really get anything out of these weekends with you. So, what do you say we just don't do them anymore?

I sure thought you'd turn out differently.

- Hank Summers & Buffy

***

What's the fun of burying someone if they're already dead?

You!

So! This is the Slayer! You're prettier than the last one.

This isn't real. Y-you can't be free!

You still don't understand, do you? I am free because you fear it. Because you fear it, the world is crumbling. Your nightmares are made flesh. You have little Billy to thank for that.

This is a dream.

A dream is a wish your heart makes. This is real life. Come on, Slayer! What are you afraid of?

No! Help me!

How 'bout being buried alive?

- The Master & Buffy

***

I've failed... in my duty to protect you. I should have been more c... cautious. Taken more time to train you. But you were so gifted. And the evil was so great. I'm sorry...

Giles at Buffy's grave

***

Don't look at me!

You never told me you dreamt of becoming a vampire.

This isn't a dream.

- Buffy & Giles

***

Lucky nineteen!

Scary! I'll tell you something, though. There are a lot scarier things than you. And I'm one of them.

- Ugly Man & Buffy

***

Personal question?

Yeah, shoot!

When Buffy was a vampire, you weren't still, like, attracted to her, were you?

Willow, how can you... I mean, that's really bent! She was... grotesque!

Still dug her, huh?

I'm sick, I need help.

Don't I know it.

- Willow & Xander

Out of Mind, Out of Sight aka Invisable Girl

Well, everyone looked down on him.

That is such a twinkie defense. Shylock should get over himself. People who think their problems are so huge craze me. Like this time I sort of ran over this girl on her bike. It was the most traumatizing event of *my* life, and she's trying to make it about *her* leg! Like *my* pain meant nothing.

- Willow & Cordelia

***

That is so cool!

Cool?

Well, yeah, I would give anything to be able to turn invisible. Well, I wouldn't use my powers to beat people up, but I'd use my powers to protect the girls' locker room.

- Xander & Willow

***

A vampire casts no reflection.

Don't worry. I'm not here to eat.

Buffy told me you don't feed from humans anymore.

Not for a long while.

Is that why you're here? To see her?

I can't. It's, uh... It's too hard for me to be around her.

A vampire in love with a Slayer! It's rather poetic! In a maudlin sort of way.

- Giles & Angel

***

Uh, it's fascinating, though. By all accounts it's a, a... a wonderful power to possess.

Oh, I don't know. Looking in the mirror everyday and seeing nothing there. It's an overrated pleasure.

- Giles & Angel on invisability

***

Of course! I've been investigating the mystical causes of invisibility when I, I should have looked at the quantum mechanical! Physics.

I think I speak for everyone here when I say, huh?

It's a rudimentary concept that, that reality is shaped, even, even... created by our perception.

And with the Hellmouth below us sending out mystical energy...

People perceived Marcie as, as, as invisible, and, and, and, and she became so.

- Giles & Buffy

***

Somebody is after me! They just tried to kill Ms. Miller? Uh, she was helping me with my homework. And Mitch! And Harmony?! This is all about me! Me, me, me!

- Cordelia

***

Hey! You think I'm never lonely because I'm so cute and popular? I can be surrounded by people and be completely alone. It's not like any of them really know me. I don't even know if they like me half the time. People just want to be in a popular zone. Sometimes when I talk, everyone's so busy agreeing with me, they don't hear a word I say.

Well, if you feel so alone, then why do you work so hard at being popular?

Well, it beats being alone all by yourself.

-Cordelia & Buffy

***

What are you doing?

Well, I'm fulfilling your fondest wish. I'm gonna give you a face no one will ever forget.

-Cordelia & Marcie

***

Children are gonna dream about you. And every one of your, your friends who comes to the coronation tonight will take the sight of the May Queen to their graves.

- Marcie to Cordelia

Prophecy Girl

See, what I should do is I should just start with talking about the dance. Y'know, Buffy, Spring Fling just isn't any dance. It's a time for students to choose, um... a mate and then we can... observe their... mating rituals and tag them before they migrate. Just kill me!

You're doing fine!

Why's it so hard? I should just walk up to her and say, 'Hey, I like you. Let's go to the dance together.'

Direct and to the point.

I'm ready. I wanna do it now. I *gotta* do it now.

Oh, Buffy's not here. You can practice on me some more.

No, no, I can't wait until tomorrow, I-I'll be thinking about it too much. Why didn't Buffy show up tonight? What's she doing?

Oh, you know, the usual.

- Xander & Willow

***

Um... You know, Buffy, uh, Spring Fling is a... time for students to gather and... Oh, God! Buffy, I want you to go to the dance with me. You and me, on a date.

I-I don't know what to say.

Well, you're not laughing. So that's a good start. Buffy, I like you. A lot. And I know we're friends, and we've had experiences... We've fought some blood-sucking fiends, and that's all been a good time. But I want more. I wanna dance with you.

Xander, you're one of my best friends. You and Willow...

Well, Willow's not looking to date you. Or if she is, she's playing it pretty close to the chest.

I don't want to spoil the friendship that we have.

Well, I don't want to spoil it either. But that's not the point, is it? You either feel a thing or you don't.

I don't. Xander, I'm, I'm sorry. I-I just don't think of you that way.

Well, try. I'll wait.

Xander...

Nah. Forget it. I'm not him. I mean, I guess a guy's gotta be undead to make time with you.

That's really harsh.

Look, I'm sorry. I don't handle rejection well. Funny! Considering all the practice I've had, huh?

Xander, I'm sorry, I don't know...

You know what? Let's just not.

- Xander & Buffy

***

Well, I have been surfing the 'Net, looking for unexplained incidents. You know, people are always sending stuff my way. They know the occult's my turf. Now, here is the latest. A cat last week gave birth to a litter of snakes. A family was swimming in Whisper Lake when the lake suddenly began to boil. And Mercy Hospital last night, a boy was born with his eyes facing inward. I'm not stupid. This is apocalypse stuff. And throw in last night's earthquake, and I'd say we've got a problem. I would say the end is pretty seriously nigh.

- Ms. Calendar to Giles

***

How'd it go?

On a scale of one to ten? It sucked.

Oh.

Well, I guess it could be worse. I could have gangrene on my face. Well, what'd she say?

Apart from 'no', does it really matter? She's still jonesin' for Angel, and could care less about me.

At least now you know.

- Willow & Xander

***

That's okay. I don't wanna go. I'm just gonna go home, lie down and listen to country music. The music of pain.

- Xander

***

It can't be. You've gotta be wrong.

I've checked it against all my other volumes. It's very real.

Well, there's gotta be some way around it.

Listen. Some prophecies are, are a bit dodgy. They're, they're mutable. Buffy herself has, has thwarted them time and time again, but this is the Codex. There is nothing in it that does not come to pass.

Then you're reading it wrong.

I wish to God I were! But it's very plain! Tomorrow night Buffy will face the Master, and she will die.

-Angel & Giles

***

So that's it, huh? I remember the drill. One Slayer dies, next one's called! Wonder who she is. Will you train her? Or will they send someone else?

Buffy, I...

They say how he's gonna kill me? Do you think it'll hurt?

- Buffy & Giles

***

The signs? READ ME THE SIGNS! TELL ME MY FORTUNE! YOU'RE SO USEFUL SITTING HERE WITH ALL YOUR BOOKS! YOU'RE REALLY A LOTTA HELP!

No, I don't suppose I am.

I know this is hard.

What do you know about this? You're never gonna die!

You think I want anything to happen to you? Do you think I could stand it? We just gotta figure out a way...

I already did. I quit, remember? Pay attention!

- Buffy, Giles, & Angel

***

Giles, I'm sixteen years old. I don't wanna die.

- Buffy

***

I've seen so much. I thought I could take anything. But, Buffy, this... this was different.

It'll be alright.

I'm trying to think how to say it... to explain it so you understand.

It doesn't matter as long as you're okay.

I'm not okay. I knew those guys. I go to that room every day. And when I walked in there, it... it wasn't our world anymore. They made it theirs. And they had fun.

- Willow & Buffy

***

Isaiah 11:6, which I dutifully looked up.

'The wolf shall live with the lamb, the leopard shall lie down with the kid, the calf, the lion and the fatling together, and the little child to lead them.'

That's kinda warm and fuzzy for a message of doom.

Well, that depends where he's leading them to. Aurelius wrote of the Anointed One, 'The Slayer will not know him, and he will lead her into Hell.'

So Luca thinks the Anointed is a kid.

- Ms. Calendar & Giles

***

You fight the Master, and you'll die.

Maybe. Maybe I'll take him with me.

- Ms. Calendar & Buffy

***

I don't like you. At the end of the day, I pretty much think you're a vampire. But Buffy's got this big old yen for you. She thinks you're a real person. And right now I need you to prove her right.

You're in love with her.

Aren't you?

- Xander & Angel

***

This way. What?

You were looking at my neck.

What?

You were checking out my neck! I saw that!

No, I wasn't!

Just keep your distance, pal.

I wasn't looking at your neck!

I told you to eat before we left.

- Angel & Xander

***

You still don't understand your part in all this, do you? You are not the hunter. You are the lamb.

- The Master to Buffy

***

You tried. It was noble of you. You heard the prophecy that I was about to break free and you came to stop me. But prophecies are tricky creatures. They don't tell you everything. You're the one that sets me free! If you hadn't come, I couldn't go. Think about that!

- The Master to Buffy

***

You're dead!

I may be dead, but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you.

You were destined to die! It was written!

What can I say? I flunked the written.

- The Master & Buffy

***

You have fruit punch mouth.

- Buffy to The Master

***

You laugh when my Hell is on Earth?

You're that amped about Hell... Go there!

- The Master & Buffy

***

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'd like to get out of this place. I don't like the library very much anymore.

- Giles

***

We saved the world. I say we party! I mean, I got all pretty.

- Buffy

***

You can come with us, Angel.

I'm hungry.

So what's the story with the car?

Oh, that was me, saving the day! Get something to drink.

Is anybody else hungry?

Well, no, don't do that. Just hang.

I'm really, really hungry.

Willow, Buffy, Xander, Cordelia

***

By the way, I really like your dress.

Yeah, yeah. Big hit with everyone.

- Angel & Buffy

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