I could never forget where home is.
It’s in your eyes.
In your arms.
In your kiss.
In every little touch.
I could never forget where home is. But I can’t forget, ignore, what I am. I’m a feral, Brennan. You know that and you told me that you could deal with that. My ultimatum, I didn’t mean it. You could leave at any moment. I’d understand. But don’t deny me this. I’m a hunter, a predator and I need to be out, patrolling, saving lives, kicking bad guy ass. You can’t ask me to just…let it go.
We’re all mutating. It’s no secret. But I’m not ready to share this with you. I’m not ready, especially not now, to put my trust in you. And expect that you won’t hurt me the way I know comes standard with my relationships.
Having that guy in my head made me realize that I’m not as strong as I thought I was. And I’m not as sure about…us, as I should be. I’m sorry about my scene at the embassy. I’m not saying either of us were at fault, or that either of us weren’t. but I can’t have you acting like…a feral when it comes to me. Possessive to some degree is never a bad trait, especially in you. You don’t tend to be possessive. Not until recently. Not until I started exhibiting my mutant side. I can’t be by your side every minute and you can’t protect me every moment of the day. You’ll have to accept that if we’re going to be in a relationship and working for Mutant X. At the same time, I have to be open to the way you’re feeling. It’s hard, you know, to care about what another person is feeling when the two ‘sides’ of me are already conflicting. My feral side is telling me to go out and find something to do. Hunt. Mate. But my human side, the one that’s mostly in control, is telling me that I need to be with you. I need to be loyal to my partner and my teammates. And then there’s the gray area. The part that’s telling me that I need to mark you and keep you and mate and hunt with you. My mind can’t handle all of it sometimes and sometimes, I think it can’t possibly be fair to you, making you put up with me. There’s always a way out, you’re not obligated to stay with me. We can still be friends and teammates. But if you want to continue this, us, you’re going to have to let me go sometimes. I’ll always come back to you.
I know where home is.
And I want to come back. But only if you’ll have me.
All of me.
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