There is a certain peace of mind that comes with being labeled "insane". You're left alone, no one bothers you, and you have a lot of time to think. The bad thing is that you are also terribly alone.

I had been to the same school since I was young and knew mostly everyone there. With me, there were only a few idiots. The year I was born had not been a good one because of a dry summer and a rainy winter. I was born during that rainy winter, I alone. Most of the people in my class had dark skin, I was white. Not as white as the clans that lived in the mountains were it snowed, but whiter than the rest of my clan. And so my classmates vowed to mot make me forget that I was different from them. That I was strange, weird. That I was gifted.

I knew their thoughts. Not just of the mind, but of the heart. I knew thoughts that even they themselves didn't know. It made me compassionate for those younger than me but it made me hate those who made a living hell of my days. I would walk pass them, their eyes following my every move and I knew their every thought. Some showed pity, pure pity. Most despised me. They hated me, wanted to burn me at a stake like a witch. So they didn't have to say it. I knew it anyway. I could glance around a room, at each different person, and hear their whispers. I could also hear my own.

I learned that Althea cared for me. That she was worried about me and claimed she wanted to help. Strangely, I knew none of this from Althea herself but from hearing her thoughts.

I stood at the entrance to her hut, a menacing figure. She stood up and looked right into my eye. We stayed like that for several minutes, until I smiled at her and she smiled back.

"What is it, that you know?" she asked.

"That which is in the mind, the heart, the subconscious, dreams, whisperings, most intimate thoughts. I know them all," I told her.

She smiled, "do you know mine?"

I shook my head. "No, yours are silent."

"I was like you once. Not completely, but almost. I knew I was different but I didn't know why. So I left the clan. I traveled, saw the world. I went looking for myself. What made me different? Why was it I and not someone else? Looking, searching, I went to the sea and beyond it. That's where I learned tricks of the mind. Except I was more interested in what the human body could do and the influences of the mind over it. So I learned that. I was so unselfish, I came back to my clan, wanting to give them what they never gave to me: compassion, understanding, caring, and love. Don't ask me how I did it, because I don't know, I just did. Althea is not my given name. I was named Althea afterwards.

"What does it mean?" I asked her.

"Healer," she answered. Then she smiled, and placed her hand on my shoulder.

"Go if you must," she said.

a a a a a a a a a a a

At night, I kissed me father goodbye and I cursed the hag.

"If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad. But it has caused me pain and I'm not going to stay."

"I walked out, through the woods, and followed the path of the moon as it lead me to the sea. I walked for miles that night. As far as I could go. The only time I stopped was when I fell down and stayed there to sleep. I laid on a dirt path but I felt a blanket cover me. I was warm and slept until dawn.

I woke up, the moon was bright and hanging right above me. I sat up and looked around me. To the side, there was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She seemed to glow but her light was not white. She seemed to be surrounded by a dark blue aura. I couldn't stop looking at her. She was so beautiful!

"Who are you?" I asked her.

"You call me Aisling," she said. Her voice was melodious and soft. Like a gentle whisper.

"Why are you here?"

"Why should I not?"

"Why would you be here with me?" I asked.

"Why should I stay away?" she replied.

I lowered my head, "because you hate me, Or think I'm strange, insane. I don't know."

"Why would I hate you?" she whispered softly.

I shook my head, "because I'm different, no one likes me, because they are afraid of me, so they make me feel as small as I can so that I won't hurt them."

She smiled, "I'm not here to judge."

"Then why are you here?" I asked her.

She just looked at me. Straight at me, and wouldn't stop looking. Stop it, I thought. You're making me uncomfortable. Am I? Was the answer. Then I realized that she had the same power I had. Not only that, but she could read my thoughts.

The smell of the ocean entered my nostrils. Immediately I thought of sandy beaches and turquoise seas. Then I woke up to dark, humid forest all around me. But in my mind I could clearly see the shore that awaited me. I could feel the breeze wrap around me. And I heard the sounds of dolphins calling me. So I got up and continued walking.

I traveled by night and slept by day. The night was my home, it comforted me and kept me hidden. I reached a village that was a part of a neighboring clan. Our people were divided into clan and the clans into villages. Three different clans ruled the wooden lowlands, five lived in the mountains, one lived in the desert, and none lived near the sea And that was were I was going, as far away from home as possible, because that place was not my home. It was a prison.

At the village I got the usual stares. I was surprised to be greeted that way because it was past midnight when I went through. But there was a crowd of teenagers walking around. I was pretty sure of myself, that I could avoid them. I was wrong.

The first reactions were wolf-whistles my way. All my life being used to second place I did not pay them much attention. Then came the name calling and the insults. And my mind was crowded with their thoughts. I kept walking, as far away from them as I could. I figured they were under the effect of some drug and it could get dangerous. I could hear their thoughts.

"If we make her run, she'll tire. And we'll be able to do as we please."

I could hear them close to me. I ran. I was near the edge of the village, looking straight ahead into the woods, my escape. I ran so fast my legs started to hurt. And still they were after me. I began to climb up into the mountains. I got the strange sensation that I wasn't running alone. I was not the one moving my muscles. I was beyond exhaustion but I wasn't sweating. I was actually feeling cool and refreshed as I run uphill and away. It was almost like an effortless flight.

I kept on running for days. Never stopping, climbing uphill all the time. But I had to stop, I was getting tired and hungry. "I have to eat!" I told myself.

"Don't stop there, wait," was the answer.

"But I have to eat!" I argued.

"Don't stop! Besides, where are you going to find food? Trust me, keep running." I knew it was Aisling that was telling me this. I was thinking all this through when I suddenly fell flat on my face.

There in front of me was a jumble of cloth. I took it and held it in my hands, examining it. It turned out to be small portions of food. Enough to last two days. There was also a dagger and some cooing utensils. I took the dagger and the food. I figured someone else might benefit more from them than me. I also figured that the package probably fell out of a carriage or something that another traveler had left behind. So I ate that night.

It was late summer but I was freezing. It was incredibly cold! I needed to make a fire desperately. If I only knew how. Here's what I did know from having seen Althea make fires in her hut. I had to gather sticks to burn and a specific rock to ignite it. I was very surprised at my own abilities because in about three minutes I had a blazing fire. I sat next to it, as close as I could get without getting burned drastically.

Across from me sat another young girl. She was the same age as me, with hair the same color and a face resembling mine. But her face was clean and white, an unnatural color. Her lips were bright red and her eyes burned. She sat across form me with the fire in the middle and she never said anything. Her eyes where on me and it was making me uncomfortable.

"Why are you here?" she asked.

"Be-be-be-because I, I , I," I started to sputter and couldn't speak.

She laughed. A haunting, musical laugh. It gave me the creeps and caused shivers up my back and all around my body. The only person with whom I ever felt like I was the scum of the earth was with my twin sister Alana. I knew, that sitting in front of me, partly hidden by flames, was Ana.

"Have you come to avenge my death; little sister?"

An uncontrollable rage burst in me.

"Little sister," I spit out the words. "Little. I was anything but little. If I remember clearly, I , I , always did things, I worked my ass of. I, only me. And you got all the credit."

"Yep," she smiled. "Thank you for that."

"I loved you so much that I let you have it! I didn't care about me, no matter about the things I never had. No matter. I realize now that I was an idiotic, stupid, moronic bastard!" I picked up the object nearest me and threw it. The fire flickered as the object flew at her. A tear slid down her eyes as she smiled.

"You loved me?" she asked tenderly. "You actually loved me."

I nodded my head, "yes."

"Then you truly are an idiotic bastard!" She started to laugh menacingly, historically. "I didn't, I never cared for you…"

"Get out!" I screamed. "Get out! You are not Alana. I don't know who you are but I knew my sister better than anyone else and you're not her! Get out of my eyes, out of my mind, out of my heart, out of my life. Don't ever appear in front of me again!" I imagined her disappearing, fading away into non-existence forever. When I opened my eyes, she was gone.

I walked for days. It was so cold that it took my breath away with every step I took. Death seemed very near and I wondered when it was ( if I was ) ever going to reach sanctuary. Because I needed it, I desperately needed it. The loneliness was incredible, like a dark haunting shadow over you. You can't sleep, you can't eat, you can't even think. If tears come, it gets better, for you release some of that pent up energy. But when you can't cry, you have to carry it all the way up to the mountains.