Title: Until There's Nothing Left To Say- part 2
Rating: Pg-13 but strong language is used.
Category: MSR/UST, more angst.
Spoilers: Two Fathers/One Son
Summary: Mulder and Scully tackle their feelings- following part one of this story line.
Archive: By all means, just please let me know where :)
Feedback: More than ever, I need your feedback. I would have had this posted sooner but my dead home PC saga continues and had to wait until I arrived to work to get this done:)

Disclaimer: yaddyadda... not mine.

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Until There's Nothing Left To Say- part two
By xenoprobe

The slam of Mulder's car door woke Scully from a black sleep. The night sky was blurry and she rubbed her fists into her eyes, trying to force away the cloudy film from her vision.

Her door swung open and where Mulder stood, waiting for her to move. She turned in her seat and felt a familiar rush of sensation to her head. She was drunk. The bourbon was still coursing through her blood stream and it would be several hours before her now baby headache would develop into a mammoth migraine. She smiled- then all too quickly remembered just how angry she was with her partner.

'Diana Fowley my ass... She's got another thing coming.'

"Scully?"

"I'm coming already."

"Do you realize that you're speaking out loud when you go off muttering like you just were?" He hid a smirk behind his deadpan gaze.

"What?"

"Your inside voice and your outside voice are one in the same right now."

'Asshole.'

"I heard that." He could barely contain a chuckle. It was a rare day when Scully used expletives but the bourbon was no match for her usual contained self.

Mulder ushered her into his building and finally, after some fussing with his keys, got her settled on his couch.

"So..." He took a seat in a chair across from her.

"So what. You wanted to talk- so talk Mulder. I said what I had to say at the Gunmen's place earlier."

Mulder leaned back and ran his fingers though his hair. He exhaled loudly.

"You're angry with me." He offered.

"You're brilliant- did you use your gift for profiling to deduce that?" She smiled wickedly.

"You know Scully, you're not very attractive when you're mouthy."

"Guess I'm not very attractive at all Mulder... it's not like you ever take notice." She turned her head away, waiting for a rebuttal.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Fuck off Mulder. I'm not in the mood."

"Scully, I know you're full of bourbon right now- which is why I am trying to exercise some patience here, but you're not making any sense and I'm to tired to play games right now."

"Ok Mulder. No games." She straightened up in her seat, the alcohol providing a false bravado. "Do you trust me?"

"Scully-"

"Do you? You used to."

"I do- I do trust you, but there are things you don't know."

"Well tell me then. Tell me so I can understand why you've been such a shit to me lately."

"Diana is not who you think she is."

"No Mulder- she's not who * you * think she is- past history or no past history."

"Scully..."

"Are you sleeping with her?"

He shifted in his seat, not wanting to look her in the eye.

"You are- aren't you. Jesus Mulder."

"I'm not. Scully, I'm not sleeping with her. I swear." He didn't want it to sound like such a plea, but Scully was obviously offended by the concept. "But what if I was Scully- what of it."

"What of it? Are you sick? She's a lying, conniving bitch Mulder and if you had the gift of sight, you'd see she was playing you for all you're worth. And," she stood and waved her finger in the air between them, "and if you had an ounce of perception you'd also realize she treats me like dirt. Like I'm not fit to fetch her latte."

"Ok, if you wanna play dirty Scully- let's just take off the gloves right now and get it over with." He stood up, holding his ground. "I know Diana, you don't. We were partners and we were..." He rubbed at his chin, stalling.

"And you were lovers. I already knew that."

"No Scully, we- we were married."

Scully looked as if she taken a physical blow- all the air from her lungs shot out as if she'd been kicked. She sunk back down into his couch.

"No matter you think Scully- no matter how Diana and I ended things, I cannot believe she would out and out lie to me. Not after all she and I discovered together."

If ever there was a moment, a decisive turning point in their way of communicating it was now. Scully lurched forward and yelled at the top of her lungs.

"You bastard!!! After all you and she discovered? And just how long were the two of you partnered? Two years, not even quite two years- that's right, I read the file... She abruptly took an assignment with the international anti- terrorist bureau and was off to Germany faster that one of your fucking alien crafts."

"Scully-"

"No. No Mulder. I've spent six God- damned years with you, following you, validating your claims, trying to lend enough rationality and science to your work to keep our heads above water in the bureau but it was your discoveries with Diana Fowley that lead you to take her word over mine. To believe her without even considering the facts I laid out for you."

She couldn't breathe. Scully gripped her aching head with both hands, willing the rage to recede just a bit, for her to catch her breath.

"Why did she leave? Tell me Mulder, if you're so sure of her fidelity, why aren't you still writhing in wedded bliss?"

"She was ambitious and felt the X-Files were holding her career back. She left me after 6 months of marriage."

"You're pathetic." She spat the words out, trying to rid herself of their foul taste.

"And you're any better? Look at you, one set back in the grand scheme of our lives and you're out boozing with bourbon and hitting on useless bartenders."

"At least the bartender doesn't figure into a government conspiracy against the truth Mulder. He just serves drinks- like a regular human being."

"Oh that's rich Scully."

"Besides- what the hell does the bartender have to do with anything? So, I had a few drinks- you've done the same, many more times than I have- no doubt. And if I may remind you, it was you that sent me there in the first place!"

Mulder made his way around the coffee table that divided them. He towered over her, his hands on his hips.

"Scully, there are some things you are not a part of in my life. Some things that should remain that way and Diana Fowley is one of them. I know you think she had something to do with Cassandra Spender's disappearance I know you think she's gathering information to use against us. But all I can give you is my word on this. She would not cross me that way- I know her."

Scully leaned way back against the back of the couch.

"You height doesn't impress me Mulder, so sit down." He complied. "So you're giving me your word."

"I am." His expression softened a little, thinking he was finally reaching her.

"And just when did my word become mud?!!" She shouted right in his face. Her fist pounded at her thigh, forcing out her frustration. "When was it decided that your word was more valuable than mine? You are such a fucking hypocrite." She shook her head, willing the tears away. "Call me a cab Mulder- I wanna go home."

She stood up and made her way toward that door. Mulder bolted.

"You're not leaving Scully. This isn't over." He latched onto her arm tightly and spun her around to meet his stare. "I know you don't trust her, but why such rage Scully- what is it you aren't being honest about."

Her head was spinning. All around her was the sound of his voice echoing in the vacant halls of her mind. Since his refusal of her findings, since his rejection, she'd felt empty. Scully went limp and fell against her partner.

"What is it? Scully- talk to me."

"You want it all... fine. You'll get it all." Her head snapped up and she stood as squarely as she was able to. "Up until six months ago, there was no one else but me- finally no one else Mulder. No Phoebe Greens, no Detective Whites... I was just beginning to feel comfortable enough in our friendship to start considering my own feelings towards you."

"What feelings Scully?"

"You want me to just spill my guts, give you everything I have? How is that fair- me telling you everything I hold in my heart and you giving me nothing. I have proven myself over and over to you. I have listened to all you've said here. But if you think I'll just cave in here, you'll have to be honest with yourself too."

"I don't understand what you're asking of me Scully."

"Now who's the liar. Now who's playing dumb. I may have had a few too many drinks, but my senses seem sharper than yours- is your intuition so out of practice Mulder?"

"Fine. If you wanna play 'you show me yours I'll show you mine' we'll have to sit down again Scully." He ushered her back to the couch and they sat down face to face.

Mulder inhaled and exhaled a few times, as if clearing his mind. Scully leaned back into the cushions and closed her eyes.

"The fact is," he paused, noting her closed eyelids and sighed with relief- he'd face her without actually having to face her. "The fact is that when Diana resurfaced I thought she'd be gone again, in no time. I wasn't prepared to deal with having her around like this." He stalled, organizing his thoughts. "It took a lot out of me, getting over Diana. I swore after her that I would never get involved with another co-worker."

Scully shifted uncomfortably but kept her eyes shut to his confession.

"I didn't want to get hurt again, not like that. Anyhow, when she turned up, it threw a wrench into my feelings." He leaned in a little closer and lowered his voice. "Before she arrived, I was wrestling with my feelings towards you. She reminded me of how horrible things can get when mixing work with pleasure."

"So, you're telling me that Diana scared you off- from me."

"In a manner of speaking yes. At first I didn't know how to tell you that I'd had a past with this woman. After so many years of our partnership it seemed like a big thing for me to have omitted."

"No, really?" she chided.

"I didn't know how to work with you both. I am one person with Diana and a totally different one with you Scully."

"So, while you're off playing Jeckle and Hyde, I get left behind... You refuted my findings Mulder." Scully sat forward and squinted against the low light of his halogen lamp. "You once told me that my rationalism and science had saved you. How can you convey that then turn around and tell me that my distrust of Diana Fowley is unfounded when it was that same rationalism that led me to my findings?"

"Let me finish Scully, please."

"Fine- go on."

"I decided, a while ago, to just let things happen. I let my feelings for both of you just take their own course."

"And now you've made your choice."

"I have."

"Well then," Scully stood again and straightened her stance, "I can't work with the two of you- I'll tender my resignation first thing in the morning." She side- stepped him and, once again, made her way to the door.

"Scully wait- I didn't tell you my choice."

"Oh yes you did." The anger had not dissipated at all. "It couldn't have been more loud or clear if you'd used a megaphone Mulder- you trust her over me. I cannot accept that- I won't."

She slammed his door fiercely, the numbers four and two rattled in the wake of her quick steps down the hall.

The door swung heavily on its hinges, bouncing against the interior wall of Mulder's apartment. He was only a few paces behind her.

"Scully..." he breathed. "Stop!"

She whirled around on her heel, nearly losing her balance and stared him down.

"Its you."

"What?" she demanded.

"You Scully, there is no one else."

"Bullshit- that's just bullshit Mulder. You're saying that to stop me from quitting. Somehow this feels all too familiar here, in your hallway again." She stepped up to him toe to toe. "Let me tell you this Mulder- you can't have it both ways- you can't have it your way- it hurts me too much." She backed off but Mulder grabbed her shoulders and pinned her in place.

"You never did finish telling me your feelings Scully- I showed you mine... don't you think its fair that you show me yours." His cockiness was unnerving.

"I'll say it as frankly as possible." She lifted her head and faced him, her eyes mirrored in his. "As I said, I was just reaching a point in our friendship where I was able to accept my feelings for you. Feelings I have spent years fighting and denying. I was beginning to feel that you reciprocated them too. But now... now it all means nothing."

"It's not nothing Scully- it's wonderful." He smiled in counterpoint to her down- turned lips.

"It's shit Mulder. It all means nothing if you can't trust me- if you can't take my word at equal value to yours."

Mulder tilted her head back with a careful finger and leaned forward as if to kiss her.

"No! No- you can't do this." She shook herself from his grasp and backed away. "You cannot have us both. I cannot share you."

The impact of her words hit him hard. She couldn't share. Dana Scully could not share him with anyone else. He then realized that he felt the same. The thought of her having feelings for someone other than him was sickening- he'd been arrogant to think that he could play both sides. To still have Diana in his life, one way or another, and maintain his partnership with Scully was an impossible equation. He understood now. He'd listened, finally, and he'd heard what he'd longed to hear from her. He had to right this before it was all over.

He heard the ding of his elevator and saw it go from 4, to 3 to 2...

Mulder dashed down the stairs, bare feet on cool concrete. Scully was already at the curb, arm at the ready to hail a cab. He was going so fast, he nearly knocked them both over when her grabbed her.

"Mulder what are you doing?" She puffed.

"You can't go."

"I can and will now go back inside."

"No- not without you, I have to show you something Scully- I need you to see- to understand."

"There's nothing you have in your apartment that I have not seen Mulder- believe me. Now, Let me go."

"It's not in my apartment Scully, it's in here." He placed an open palm over his heart and begged her with his eyes to stay. "It's in here Scully- I understand now. I'm so sorry I hurt you."

Mulder framed Scully's face with both hands and brought her parted lips to his. He pressed gently, kissing her softly- expecting to feel a fist in his gut at any moment. But the punch never came. He tasted her lips and pressed harder spilling his passion into her mouth. He gathered her in his arms, squeezing her tiny frame against him. She tasted of liquor and mint.

Scully's senses reeled. This was the kiss she'd dreamt about. This was what she'd been wanting... but not if it was a ploy to make her stay. She wriggled from his arms and stepped back.

"I can't play this game Mulder. You only ever do this when our partnership is threatened. This is not your real feelings- this is panic."

"No Scully. This is me, being as honest as I know how. Please- come back inside. Please."

A cab whizzed by them in the street and Scully didn't flinch. She watched his smile for any hint of false feelings. She saw nothing but his heart on his sleeve. She stepped back to him and smoothed a hand over his cheek, sighing quietly.

Mulder leaned in again, claiming her mouth- overflowing with kisses. They stood under the stark glow of the streetlight, turning and dancing as each kiss blended into the next. There was nothing left to say.

FIN

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