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More Poetry and Songs



Lessons
7-4-2001

What can you say
When the words don't come?
What can you do
When your heart goes numb?
When all your past was just abuse
And you try to stand up
But what's the use?

What can I say
To the tear in your eye?
What good's it gonna do
No matter what I try?
You only date jerks
And I'm a nice guy.

What is there to say
When you act so dumb?
Twenty years down the line
You'll wonder, "what went wrong?"
You should have gone for someone
Who treated you right-
Instead of the guy Who stayed out all night.

You could have been with me
But you wound up alone.
It's the same old game and
You're just another pawn.
They don't care What happens to you;
You're just another piece
They can go through.

Before it's too late
I hope you learn
There's people out there
Who's hearts do burn.
Stop making the nice guy finish last
Throw away the jerk
He's a thing of the past.


Well... I'm back from field training and down in Florida on vacation. I haven't had much time to write but here's the latest (some's not poetry, but a flowing prose):

Bubbles
6-26-2001

Such a simple thing as a bubble
Loses it's joy as we age and "mature."
So little remains but tedium in life, yet
As I look at the pile of dishes in the bin
I cannot help but smile as I reach down
To play with the bubbles.


A Clear New Place
6-26-2001

I put my goggles on and see a distorted world around me.
I swim out as far as my tired arms can take me.
Taking a deep breath I dive to see a clear new place.
I search but see only wave rippled sand.
For even ere the outside world can touch;
Waves have swept all but a solitary half- burried rock to the shore.
As I run out of air I grab the rock and wrestle it free of the sand.
It is heavy, yet after I bring it to the surface I throw it in defiance to the waves-
Deeper, just a few feet deeper, further from the shore and the outside world
Able to once again come to rest on the ocean floor in solitude.
I take another deep breath and dive to see a clear new place.
Where I had just been is gone; changed.
I look around and the wave rippled sand stretches as far as the eye can see-
Of where the rock had been there is no trace, just desolate yet serene emptiness- tranquil but for the lack of life- giving air that pulls me to the surface to draw another breath before I again dive to see a clear new place.


SOLITUDE
6-19-2001

Sitting near tears I
Often wonder what new
Levels of lonliness
I can discover
To further intensify the
Undying pain that
Dominates my
Existance



Here's a little something I wrote right before my speech class "final" half of it's real... no bass and the back up guitarist is iffy.... the dummer is tentative- gotta talk my friend from last semester's english class into it. The guitarist is almost definite though... hopefully over the summer I can pick up guitar so I can do something more than write and try to sing...lol.... who knows... maybe it'll get somewhere, and maybe it won't, but it's a fun dream for now. We'll see how things go in the fall. :)

Local Band
5-8-2001

Why settle for this when it's just a bunch of dreams
Where are we to go from here when nothing's as it seems?
Could we be a million dollar one hit wonder
Or just another flop?
Do you think we got what it takes
To stay up at the top? YEAH!

Are we gonna be just another washed up local band
Whose equipment's always broken
And you can't even understand?

I'm under oath to the red white and blue
I'll be leavin' the band in a year or two
Unless a record label says here's 7 figures- just for you!

A friend in class he played guitar
He's got a lot of talent and it'll take him really far! (solo)

We got ourselves a drummer, yeah he's always stoned
(I AM NOT!!!)
Ok I made that up, but man he really hits the zone! (solo)

We met this dude who plays the bass
Signed him on to fill the space (solo)

Found another guy for back up on guitar
He joined our band one night at a local bar. (duet)

Why are we here when it's just a bunch of dreams?
Or is there something more-
And is this where it begins?
Could we be a million dollar one hit wonder
Or are we just another flop?
Do you think we got what it takes
To stay up at the top? YEAH!


See, I can do a silly punk song too... ok, never really tried before... and I have no idea where this came from...some really messed up corner in my head....but I can keep working on the punk angle for my friend in the cover band who wants to do something original for a change... Got a couple possibilities for a band... and worst comes to worst I might just keep writing and if anyone ever makes it big I can get my name in an album.....we'll see come fall semester if I can get something off the ground though... :)

Conspiracy
5-8-2001

Why do aliens abduct stupid cows and hicks
You'd think they'd take people in politics
If they ever nab a celebrity
Would they give a shout for the MIB?
At Roswell they told us it was a weather balloon
Watch my back they'll be comin' for me soon!

It's a conspiracy!
Between you and me
People are dumb!
If you don't believe then your mind is numb!
Trust No One!

No I don't think I'm goin' insane
It's just the probe they stuck deep in my brain
Rotting my mind like candy on my teeth
All the information it's hard to believe.
Don't you know it's a conspiracy!

Look to the sky it's a UFO
Or some kid with a light up yo-yo!
Pie pans flying on a string
Cattle mutlilations a natural thing!

It's a conspiracy!
Between you and me!
People are dumb!
If you don't believe, your mind is numb!
Trust No One!


Could There Be Any Hope?
5-8-2001

Could there be any hope
That love will find her heart?
Could she ever come back to me
When we are so far apart?

Will there ever be any hope
For my poor broken heart
Will True Love ever come to me
When will it all start?

There's someone missing in my life
I don't know where she is
Off in her own little world
It's not fair that she's his!


Human Communication
5-8-2001

We are all human,
That is the great divide-
How can we ever understand,
When we don't know what we hide?

There is much and little we can share
With words from minds that can't compare.
What we say is less than thought-
Speech, oft noise, from minds distraught.

Much is lost in false pretense
Or to meet a set suspense
And the hour does often come
And something seriously said shall sound silly to some.

Meaning, but an individual norm-
Wrought from minds who would conform.
What little meaning we do convey
Is often lost in what we say.

Words but echoes from the heart
Just some noise, but still a start-
For without these we'd be at loss
Teeth all but useless, except to floss.

Be not careless of human tongue
For on it's whim a reputation's hung.
A tongue is sharper than the sword
A pen is mightier, so's the word.

Keep both under guard with great care
Lest all be lost and you dispair-
Though who can say what was meant
When breath is gone and ink is spent?


A Wound Reopened 5-7-2001

A wound reopened...
A scar that will never heal...
Where can True Love be
When Pain is all I feel?
You tell me you've found someone new
To do all the things that we wanted to do.
How can I be a just a friend
When I swore my heart to you to the end?
Is nothing else real?
Why is pain all that I feel?
I Love you
Beyond my last breath.
Nothing will stop it
Not even death.
Just as I swore,
So shall it be
Please return your love to me.


How It Was Supposed to Be
5-7-2001

Why is there so much pain?
Why do I go through it again?
Why do you give me a broken heart
After moving on and tearing me apart?
Promises are lost.
I'm told I was a mistake.
I don't know how much more of this
I can take.
I'm searching for release
Begging on my knees
Please, please, Please!
Take up my broken heart and
Run with me in that place
In our dreams where we are togehter
Hand in hand forever
Underneath the bright stars of our future
Where you still love me
With all of your heart-
How it was supposed to be.



It's 11:35, just a little while after the other song and I actually bothered to sing the tunes into my little tape recorder just in case I ever want to try and take the songs anywhere... and NO, you'll never hear the tape UNLESS I ever become famous and can sell copies for the big money (or if you're someone close to me I might consider it).... ha ha again...I figured I needed something softer after that other song that's after this one... this one has basis in reality, the one I wrote before it (that appears after it on my page) didn't (just if you were curious). Yes, sometimes I write stuff that doesn't hold any meaning to me, but might for someone else, or just because it popped into my head....

If Only Forever
5-4-2001

How many ways can I tell you I love you?
What can I do to show you how I feel?
When will you learn that nothing could stop us?
Just have some faith to make our dreams real.

You don't know what you had that you'll be missin'
Don't you know I would've stood by your side?
Now and forever our dreams can come true
If only forever I am with you.

We can have our future together
We can fill our house with love and memories
Just give it a chance and I promise to treat you right
Just say that you love me and come back to me tonight.

You don't know what you had that you'll be missin'
Don't you know I would've stood by your side?
Now and forever our dreams can come true
If only forever I am with you.

What can I do to bring us back together?
What can I do to show you how I feel?
What can I say that will open your heart up?
How can I hold you forever and know that it's real?

You don't know what you had that you'll be missin'
Don't you know I would've stood by your side?
Now and forever our dreams can come true
If only forever I am with you.


Well it's 11:10am and I made this one up out of the blue when I was walking back from class... If I ever figure out how to submit something to a label, or sing for a rock band (with my not too high quality voice) maybe I could get somewhere someday... This one says number one hit all over it cause it's catchy.....haha...

There Ain't Nothin'
5-4-2001
There is no pain
Cause this is my life
There ain't nothin' you can do
To cause me strife.

No there ain't nothin'
There ain't nothin'
No there ain't nothin' you can do
To break my heart again.

Not all of the hurt
Or all of your lies
Could ever come close
To breakin' those ties.

Not all of your reasons
For this cheap disguise
Could hurt me again
Don't you realize...

There ain't nothin'
I say there ain't nothin' To break my heart again.

I pick myself up
Off of the ground
I brush myself off
Without even a sound
Cause you can't hurt me
And there ain't nothin' you can do
To break my heart again....


Forever Someday
5-4-2001

Why don't you understand?
Why don't you hold my hand?
Why do you turn you head away
When you promised we would be together
Forever someday?

Why don't you listen to your heart
If you did you would see that no matter how far apart
I would be there for you and we'll find a way
To live in perfect love when we are together
Forever someday.

The meaning of my words may seem unclear
But I am yours no matter how far or near
And true forever my love will stay
From here through the eternity we will have together
Forever someday.

I know there's a way to overcome
The distance that brings dispair some
There is nothing for you to fear-
In my heart I am by your side
And every night I shed a tear
Praying and wishing that you were here.



Mr. Right, Mr. Wrong
4-24-2001

Mr. Right, Mr. Wrong
How hard's the choice?
What's taking so long?
Why's the nice guy
Always finishing last?
How does the jerk
Get to be winner so fast?
I'd treat you like a princess or queen
Instead of ignoring you
And being so mean

What does it take
To get anywhere
When I open my heart
And you show
You don't care?
Why is it that when I give my best
Someone else comes along
And cheats on the test?
What good's the lie when
You know it's not true?
You know what they mean
When they say that they love you.

I'd mean it if I said it.
Just don't you forget it.
I hope someday
Now that you've turned away
That you'll come to
Regret it.


Nice Guy
4-24-2001

Why do you fall for Mr. Wrong
When Mr. Right was right there all along?
Why do you turn you head away
When you know you'll regret it all someday.

So where do I go from here
Would you care if I shed a tear
Is there anything more that I can say
To change your mind?

I'm just a nice guy
Finishing last.
I'm just a nice guy
A thing of the past.
Maybe someday
You'll come around and
See the real treasure
You left on the ground.
But for now I have to say
I hope that you'll find your way.

Why do you turn you head away
When you know you'll regret it all someday.
You've heard the stories all before but
You never looked back
When you ran out that door.

I'm just a nice guy
Finishing last.
I'm just a nice guy
A thing of the past.
Maybe someday
You'll come around and
See the real treasure
You left on the ground.
But for now I hope and pray
Maybe someday you'll come back my way.

What does he have
That he can give you
Besides a heart that
You know is untrue

What could you want from him
That you couldn't get from me
Besides a broken heart and
A painful memory.

I'm just a nice guy
Finishing last.
I'm just a nice guy
A thing of the past.
Maybe someday
You'll come around and
Pick my broken heart up off of the ground


Today's the 23rd and I just got my grade back on the Haiku I turned in (#1). Talk about subjective grading... it should have been pass or fail based on instructions. He didn't like the style. He likes contrast better so he lowered my grade because instead of contrast I used redundancy (broken heart and pain). He never specified before hand that he wanted contrast... Stylistic preference should never be used when grading... you can't really "grade" poetry as long as it's heartfelt.... did the person try or not? that's is pretty much it.... and by the way- I can do contrast too... I made the following in class today.

Haiku #6
4-23-2001

I am the falcon
Soaring throug the winter wind
Nothing can touch me.

Haiku #7
4-23-2001

I am the poet
Searching for elusive love
In dreams of summer.

Haiku #8
4-23-2001

I am the contrast
Between winter and summer.
I am hot and cold.

Haiku #9
4-23-2001

How am I graded?
My heart is judged on your whim.
Numbers fall like leaves.

Haiku #10
4-23-2001

Being objective
Brings appreciation to
Poems of winter.

Haiku #11
4-23-2001

Early blooming bud
It is a shame you do not
Survive through the cold.

Haiku #12
4-23-2001

Winter and summer-
Different sides of the same coin-
Spinning eternal.

Communication
4-23-2001

It stretches beyond
A mere communication problem.
What barriers must be overcome
For my heart to be seen
As it is
Not as you percieve it.
There is more to me
Behind these walls
Than you would think.


Talk about some serious progress.... This has to be one of my favorites- and I just wrote it... I have the music in my head... maybe someday I can cut a record (don't I wish)... lol... Though I'm still the near perfect gentleman, I came back from my trip to New Orleans with the realization that life is too short not to live to the fullest and enjoy. Hopefully in the future I'll stear clear of people who lie and break people's hearts, but for now I'm facing life with a renewed positive attitude. :) I just need to get into a certain apartment and make it through field training this summer for everything to be absolutely wonderful! Keep me in your prayers and keep your fingers crossed. Thanks :)

Broken Wall
4-19-2001

I look behind and see a broken wall-
The music's set me free from it all .
There's nothing left behind but some old and worn out stones-
Where they should have found my body they can't even find my bones!

I've moved on
I've climbed up
I've climbed out-
And now the walls are gone
Beyond a shadow of a doubt.

I've moved on
I've climbed up
I've climbed out-
No more to misconstrue
On my inside from the out.

I look behind and see the setting moon-
It surely means the sun is coming soon.
There's nothing left behind not even fading clouds
I've jumped out of that grave and I've ripped off all the shrouds!

There's nothing back there for me-
Just some fading memory
I throw away my burden;
Lifes too short...
Not to be free.

I've moved on
I've climbed up
I've climbed out-
Nothing more can hold me back.
What I had before
I can do without.

There's nothing back there for me-
Just some fading memory
I throw away my burden;
Lifes too short...
Not to be free.


I'm writing this after returning from the Arnold Air Society National Convention (AAS is a community service organization within Air Force ROTC). It was a lot of fun... during the day we listened to briefings At night... well... lets just say I didn't get in till at least 3 am every night and 5 on the last... I'll have pictures up soon hopefully


Back to Bourbon Street
4-19-2001

I walk along Bourbon Street in my dreams.
It's three in the morning
And somewhere the beads are flying-
Not here though.
I have had a taste of adventure
A taste of excitement.
I have explored a new world
And returned to my old life to find
It's not here anymore.
The walls have been
Broken-
And I am more free than ever before.
The sights and sounds of the Quarter
Are fond memories
As I lay in bed thinking
Someday-
I'll go back to Bourbon Street.




I had an assignment in speech class... the teacher told us we had to write a haiku (5-7-5 usually with a season implied)... I jotted down a whole bunch real fast before he told us we had over a week to work on just one... not that I'm an over-achiever or anything... I just kept on writing.

Haiku #1

How great the pain is
With the breaking of my heart.
Winter in silence

Haiku #2
4-9-2001

My heart has frozen
Under the weight of her lies
Then she shatters it.

Haiku #3
4-9-2001

How does the sun shine
After so many hearts break?
How can flowers grow?

Haiku #4
4-9-2001

Where is the cold wind
To numb my burning heart and
Take away my pain?

Haiku #5
4-9-2001

Can the grass be green
Under the ice of winter
Can my heart still beat?


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Email: falcon_01@yahoo.com