More Poetry and Songs
Taken
4-12-2001
Could all the four leaf clovers in the world
Bring me a woman like you?
Could I ever find someone as sweet?
Will my dreams ever come true?
If I could ever be so lucky
I would always treat that someone right
And I would do my best for her-
I could never turn away my sight.
I would do anything for a chance
To treat her like gold-
To treat her right forever,
To have and to hold-
But she always is with someone
Who doesn't treat her the way I would
And doesn't pay attention
The way that he should
She doesn't see it because
She has never known any better.
She is taken.
I stand aside praying
That maybe someday
She will see
What is there waiting.
Here are my latest, a bunch of acronym poems... notice a theme? thought so... As depressing as the poems may get sometimes- I'm STILL hoping that True Love will someday find me... The story: I had just finished Falcon's Fall and felt I could write another... when I was almost done with it I realized that if I read down the side I had written something that sounded like Thanatos (Death)- so with a little extra work I was able to create the acronym- this time by accident... I took it to another level by later creating more acronym poems for other gods of mythology. I'm at my best when I'm feeling my worst it seems. I never thought my heart could bleed out so much feeling and that I'd be able to arrange it all... After Thanatos I wrote Eris, Apate, Moros, then Philotes. I spent a while on the various styles to get them to mesh right... AAAA BBBB CC DDDD was hard to pull off (Falcon's Fall)- did I do ok? How about building in the poems where Philote (Love) abruptly turns to Eris (strife) and then flows to Apate (Deceit) which ends in Moros (Doom) and culminates with the non-fluctuating rhyme scheme of AAAAAAAA symbolizing Thanatos (Death)? The rest of my poems on this page are written in reverse chronological order (as you can see by their dates). Here's a chart of what each name means in the progression of the sequence of poems:
Philotes- Love
Eris- Strife
Apate- Deceit
Moros- Doom
Thanatos- Death
Please sign my guestbook or send me an email to let me know what you think, thanks... Speaking of thoughts... I need to start a new page already. It seems like I just started this one not too long ago, but it filled up really quick. In addition to a new page I'm gonna make one for old stuff I wrote before I had access to the internet (yeah, ANCIENT poetry from when I was 15 and on 5 years ago??? where has time gone... anyway...I'm rambling...).
PHILOTES, ERIS, APATE, MOROS, THANATOS
4-5-2001
Perhaps one day
Happiness will be found
In the short memories of
Love that was
Once promised
To last for all of
Eternity and then cut
Short.
,
Every flight the falcon takes is a
Reach for something that
Is no longer there but
Should have lasted
,
An eternity but for
Promises broken
And love
That was to last forever yet
Ended
,
More quickly than it began
One day in the sky
Reaching
Out for a lifetime, lasting only a
Second.
,
This is my tale, the falcon's plight
He lost his love on one dark night-
A fiercesome blow was struck with might
Nevermore will his wings feel flight
And none again will witness the sight
To see him fly to such a height
Or catch the sun in broad daylight.
Someone has broken his heart.
Falcon's Fall
4-5-2001
Have you heard the falcon's cry
As he falls down out of the sky?
Did you stop to wonder why?
Or did you turn and walk on by?
None lament the falcon's fall-
Love someday ends for one and all.
Your heart now numb must have been small-
Once full of love, now just a wall.
Never again can the falcon fly
Eternal love has passed him by-
Looked back once then turned away.
Once we soared, just one fine day.
Vain and hollow the words you say
Ever after cause souls to pay.
Cry of the Falcon
4-4-2001
Through dark skies this falcon flies
His heart was torn in two
Little escape there is for one
Who was left by one like you.
Do you know what I know
Can you look inside my heart
The moment that you left me
My wings were torn apart.
A spirit may go on but what good's a falcon
Who does not have his wings?
For he will never fly again;
He cries it when he sings.
The pain it rings through my torn wings
There's nothing left for me
Than to find a place where I can perch
Somewhere near the sea.
How could you fly; your love a lie?
That you would leave me so?
You huntress came and shot this heart
With cupid's foul arrow.
Its work it did, should I have hid
When I first looked in your eyes?
Or is this broken heart a step-
A blessing in disguise?
The shadow bleak- and my soul weak
My heart did worse than bend...
This falcon's wings grow tired-
His journey nears an end.
Oh, on high up in the sky
Soars a spirit now set free!
Pain does not exist for him.
Love, a faded memory.
This falcon's free up in a tree
Hiding in the leaves
Where no one ever thinks to look
And not a heart decieves.
Flying and Falling
4-3-2001
Soaring higher than anyone
Love carried me
And gave me strength
Before releasing me
To fall once again
Into the darkest depths
Of solitude where I
Await rescue until
Love comes again
To take me to the skies.
Dinner Time
4-2-2001
I'm on my way to dinner,
Ready to reject the
Ever-nauseating un-
Appatizing things they
Lump on my plate that
Look like they alive
Yet half dead,
Dripping silme and
Ooze everywhere.
Nechromancy, not cooking-
That is what it should be called.
Living things can be heard screaming
In the back...
Karunch goes
Everything before it
Invades my system
Telling me to go back for more.
WHAT COMES NOW?
4-2-2001
What lies inside your heart
How can I find the truth?
Always there is something
Terrible waiting around the corner.
Can I survive another broken heart
Or will I sink beneath the
Memories of pain that
Endures beyond the moments to
Surround me and that will
Never be forgotten-
Only fade like
Watercolors in time?
?
Dawn
4-2-2001
Dare I ever hope that
A bright morning sky
Will smile for me revealing
Neverending light and love?
Why Is My Heart Always Broken?
4-2-2001
Why is my heart always broken?
Someone share a clue.
Everytime I open up
My heart is ripped in two.
There is very little left
Inside of me to kill
For everyone who's taken love
Just did it for a thrill.
I can't believe I'm writing this
But there's nothing left to hide
The last one to hold my heart
Stole all that was inside.
I pray that someday soon
Someone will fill my heart
And mend up all the pieces
That were torn apart.
If you ever read this
And think this someone's you
I pray that you will come to me
And give me your love true.
Monday at College
4-2-2001
Monday comes yes once again-
Another week drags by
I get up to watch the sun rise
But dark clouds fill the sky.
I go outside to test the air
Spring is almost here
You have to love the campus life
Dew glistens on empty cans of beer.
I go for my morning workout
I come back feeling drained
I have an exam in an hour
My life is so restrained.
I don't believe I pay for this
It's such a waste of time
One hundred dollars for a textbook
Ought to be a crime.
I never read the assignments
Yet still I make the grade
All this for a piece of paper
This place is overpaid.
Without this piece of paper
I can have no life
Unless I give them all my money
My life is filled with strife.
The food here is all tasteless
It sits around all day
Every time I eat it-
It is I whom they should pay.
My teachers are all boring
They all put me to sleep
The only reason why I go is
For the attendance that they keep.
Political science the major
It wants to make me cry
I'm getting my BA in BS-
No wonder politicians lie.
Then I'll join the Air Force
When they pin on the butter bar
An officer I will be
And travel near and far.
Today is only monday though
Two more years to go
I pray that I can make it
When I do I'll let you know.
Walls
4-1-2001
Back for more
I come again...
Why do I even try?
I can never give up
For if I do I die.
There's always something to live for
No matter how dark the day
I will always give my best
That is the only way.
My heart at times may feel down
My spirit may feel weak
But you can never see it
When you hear me speak.
I keep my head up proudly.
I look up to the sky.
I fall apart inside again-
Only the stars know why.
Some may say I've built a wall.
It's not my wall at all.
The world has built this cage around me
And someday it must fall.
Some may say I should shut up
And lock it all away.
I shout that they're all heartless and
Cry no matter what they say.
If you look deeper it's backwards
Those cowards hide their pain.
I decide to face mine
Rather than going insane.
For when I let my feelings show
And the tears I have let pour
Truly you can call me brave
When I open up once more.
Where Could I Have Gone So Wrong?
4-1-2001
Where could I have gone so wrong
To wind up all alone?
For all the Love I gave to you
Rejection's all you've shown.
There's nothing left for me to do
But lock away my fears
And trudge on with a broken heart
And swallow all my tears.
Life goes on is what they say
But they don't havea clue
They never once have felt True Love
And they never did meet you.
For though you're gone I carry on
With a dream that you'll return
And until that day does come to pass
My heart will always burn.
April's Fool
4-1-2001
Here I am
I'm still alone
Aren't I the April Fool
Year round I sit and wait and wonder
Drowning in sorrow's pool.
Always I am falling down
Tripping over someone's lies-
It's not a joke to break my heart
And laugh when my soul cries.
Some might think it's funny
When I fall flat on the floor
Only to get up again and
Fall again once more.
Just because my heart is right
A year round April's Fool am I-
Fate knows that I will never give up
No matter how hard she tries.
Well... dreams can come true, I believe it, though it's yet to happen... Every time I think I've found someone that won't lie to me and break my heart I'm proved wrong. One minute I'm told that I shouldn't open myself up to others, the next minute I'm told I shouldn't wall myself off... I just wish people wouldn't swear an oath to God and make all kinds of promises they won't keep...I keep beilieving and nothing will change that... though I feel like a human yo-yo at times, I know there's more virtue in it than in doing to others as they do unto me... well... I just got told that I write bad poetry, I don't care- I said that on my first page... well when all comes full circle, I'd rather be the yo-yo...
Human Yo-Yo
3-24-25-2001
Yeah, I'm a human yo-yo
Plain as you can see
Wrap my string around your finger
Wind me up and play with me.
Up and down steady I go
What use am I?
You control every throw.
I spin around with all my heart
When I'm not good enough you tear me apart.
Knot my strings up back again
When you're bored and lonely
This yo-yo will always be your friend.
Use me once or twice and throw me away
Then find a new game you can play.
Cut my string and break me in two
What good am I?
Your finger drops and I fall for you.
Can't you see that's not what I am?
I'm not a stupid yo-yo.
I'm a stupid human being
Maybe there's no difference
But there is no stupid string.
When you rip out my heart
It's the real beating thing.
Your promise meant the world to me-
I pray someday you'll wake up
Someday you'll see your deed
When you stab someone's soul
They do much worse than bleed.
I keep coming back
Like a human yo-yo
No matter how much there's to forgive
I know your heart's not black.
It's not bad to be so trusting
There's truth inside this song
To believe a dream can come true
No matter what went wrong.
Don't see me as a yo-yo,
Don't see me without a spine,
If God Himself would have you back
No matter what your crime.
If to have Love, Trust, and Forgiveness
Is such a rotten thing-
What does Jesus do
When you pull His string?
The chance is yours just ask for it
If you want just make it real
Take me in your heart again
And remember what you feel
Is no better than a yo-yo
Spinning like a wheel
Time after time
Out of control
Like this rhyme.
I know there's Love
Inside your soul
So pull my string
I won't break
I'm more than a yo-yo
I know what I can take.
3-10-2001
I sit here alone blasting anything (from Meat Loaf's "Rock and Roll Dreams Come Through" and Bon Jovi's "Always" and "Bed of Roses" and Queen's "Who Wants to Live Forever" to all the songs we shared and called ours like "Right Here Waiting For You" by Richard Marx and "Crash and Burn" by Savage Garden) through my stereo feeling the pain of Love lost and Hope fleeting. I hope I'm mistaken and Love returns and Hope grows to a reality of a Lifelong Happiness for the two of us reunited stronger than ever...
The Play
3-10-2001
The auditioning was over
Even from the start.
You know noone else
Could ever play your part.
Ever since you left me
Alone up on the stage
There's noone here to act it out
And I can't turn the page.
Without you my life is empty
And the tears that I cry are real
As the curtain falls.
A Story in Progress
3-10-2001
I sit here surrounded in music
Memories, moments, and melancholy
Suffering through something unseen.
As the days go by and I'm alone
There's nothing to do but to dream.
Where could my True Love be?
Why has her heart gone away?
We were meant to be together...
She's gone now...
Gaze lost out the window I pray...
I'm sifting through jumbled emotions
Searching, smiling, seeing
Crawling, collapsing, crying
I wish I could be believing
But I know my heart-
The dream's decieving
And if all my hope is a lie
Then there is nothing for me
Than to sit here and cry
For my Love has left me
And gone from my life
Leaving me drowning
Alone in my strife
Could there be any fate worse
For one's destiny
Than to be left alone
When your heart is not free.
I'll be hers to the day I die
But if she won't have me
For all that I try
I can only go on as a shadow
In a world that is a lie
Filled with shattered dreams
Less substantial and real than I.
For I know True Love is real
It resides in my heart-
Fleeting from others I've felt it
Perhaps it's just a start...
I pray it will grow and fill the void
That exists when we're apart...
Fill it will I pray
Until it pulls us together again
And our Love lasts forever and a day
Well, I'm stuck here alone for spring break... plans change with the breaking of a heart...This night I was to spend with my Love...gazing at the moon so full and beautiful....I pray that all hope isn't lost, but for the moment I am alone and solitude is all I know. Maybe someday she will return... until then should I ever be so lucky I will pray. The moon is my reminder, ever present though not always seen- like the Love for her I carry in my heart. May God guide you back to me and the moon light your way.
A Prayer for Love
3-9-2001
Love return,
My heart does burn
With undying might
For alone I am this moonlit night.
Forever so shall I be
Unless True Love returns to me.
Dear God I pray your mercy shows,
My Love returns, and forever knows
That I belong to her forever.
SOLITUDE
3-9-2001
Someone is missing-
One lifelong
Love.
I am alone.
There is noone else to hear my cries
Under the gaze of the full moon.
Dear Bella Luna,
Even you are too far away.
SPRING BREAK
3-9-2001
Solitude
Persisting beyond-
Reason to
Infiltrate the
Nothiningness that surrounds and
Grows to fill me
Beyond the common
Reality that
Everyone experiences
And
Knows
Who would have thought a couple hour long phone call and dragging me out of my dorm to take me swimming could have helped mend the horrible tear in my heart? I don't let people walk on me- but somehow it always ends up with me as the nice guy, finishing last. This time a close friend has shown me that even though there has been great pain in my life, I can still give and receive joy, and for that it is worth staying the nice guy. Thank you is all I could say. She let me know that sometimes a simple thank you is all it takes to brighten someone's day... I never could have imagined feeling hope for a bright future so soon after a broken heart. Thank You!
THANK YOU FOREVER
3-8-2001
There has never been anyone who
Has shown me the kindness you have
And though I will
Never be able to repay you,
Know this:
You've truly helped me.
Only a true lifeguard like you could
Understand and save me
From drowning
Outside of the water,
Rescuing me from
Everything that has happened to
Very nearly destroy me.
Even just gazing at the stars now
Reminds me I have a True friend.
Thank You
3-8-2001
A simple thank you is all I can say
You don't know how much
You've brightened my day
I never in life felt so alone.
Thank you for taking me out
Or even talking on the phone.
I hope someday to repay you and
Should you ever need a friend
Just know that I'll be there
By your side till the end.
Thank You
3-8-2001
For just a moment this time
I knew fear and pain
Till a friend came along
And made whole again
The gaping hole
That was inside my heart
After someone came by
And ripped it apart.
I don't know now
What our future will hold-
Though I am frightened
I still feel bold
Because her eyes reassure me
And while she is near
She brings comfort to me-
I have nothing to fear.
She pulled me out
Of my deep dispair
To show me how much
Someone could care.
Noone ever has
Been such a friend
To show so much love-
I can only pray
That it never will end.
Right now I can only say
Thank you.
Well... back to being single and alone... I've written poetry since this, but it's all tucked away. Horrible cheerful stuff from a dream that I thought had come true..
Call me
12-31-2000
Dear Love, I've missed you
Since you've been gone.
Why haven't you called me?
I feel so alone.
If it's something I've said
Or something I've done
Please call and tell me where I've gone wrong
I miss hearing your voice
Day after day.
I sit by the phone
Filled with longing and pray
That we'll make it through this
And be together forever someday.
Please call...
This was written and finished between one and one-thirty something in the morning for a girl who has lost so much...If I ever had a little sister I would have wanted it to be her...Though I know I can't fill any of the gaps in her life I can try to be someone to turn to as if I was a long lost brother...
I'll Be Your Long Lost Brother
1-28-2001
To the sister I always wished I had.
I'll do my best to be a long lost brother....
I wish I could promise to take away your pain
To say a few words- make it all ok again.
But tears we've cried for moments lost
Forever are the painful cost
Of life...
And love...
The moments gone,
The memories spared
To find out just
How much we cared
For life...
For love...
You don't have to be alone anymore,
I'm here.
You don't have to face the world by yourself,
My dear.
So hold your head up to the sky
Just remember this when you need to cry-
You've got someone to care now.
Yes, you've got someone right there now-
In me.
I'll be your long lost brother if you need me
If you do I'll be by your side-
If not, then in your heart I hope
My strength will forever abide.
If you ever need a shoulder to cry on I'm there
No matter how far away- I'm here
Just know no matter how far apart
I will be your long lost brother
Deep inside my heart...
Cafeteria Rating
1-22-2001
The food sereved at Trueblood is worst
Unless you eat at Grinnell
Repent if you're eating at Lentz
Or you might wind up going to He--!
So Much To Learn
1-17-2001
Sitting here I wait
For my life to begin
Each lesson I anticipate
To be over in each classroom I am in.
So much to accomplish
Why do they waste my time?
They need to let me go- I wish
What they teach would be more sublime-
There's better stuff out there to learn
And I will not rest
Until I can go so I burn
With longing to pass the next test
Until I can truely live.
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